WHY STRIPPING IS A LONELY GIG
jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
A lot of dancers have been writing about their experiences lately--with a level of literacy unexpected in lying, thieving whores.
https://bullshit.ist/the-secret-world-of…
https://bullshit.ist/the-secret-world-of…
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22 comments
An honest addressing of this. As I've been saying for a couple of years, strippers are at the bottom of the social hierarchy, and among the reasons they choose the men they do, is because that's who they can get. Even most white collar regulars in love, once their fantasy bubble bursts, can't deal with the reality.
-->"Stripping may appear to be about the Benjamins, but narcissism is its real currency. Every dollar you get is an affirmation of your beauty and desirability. It’s the smack every dancer mainlines, the thing that also keeps her mojo from doing a face-plant. But there’s always a wound, a big pothole-sized wound, that you’re trying to fill. Somewhere in life you came up short, and it made you reel."
Another moment of honesty. Man, this chick would get dogpiled and drummed off stripperweb so fast. On SW, the girls are all predators if not outright superior beings, hustling customers and behaving as perfect economic actors, the ultimate evolution of the hustler ... no ego or self-esteem involved
Thanks jackslash! :)
1. Yes, a lot of strippers aren't all that smart. But let's dispel the notion they're all high school dropouts.
One of my ATFs was a woman who claimed to have a masters. She didn't show me her diploma, so that might have been BS, but in our discussions, I discovered she was in a field I knew something about and she definitely didn't bullshit her way out of questions where knowledge of terminology and concepts was needed. She was ridiculously smart and thoughtful, and oh by the way, a damn fine dancer, too.
Another ATF routinely writes poetry on social media. While she's not TS Elliot, I have found some of her stuff more poignant and thoughtful than some of the casual drivel other creatives I'm friends with assemble.
Yet another offered some rather awesome extras, and followed through, in a non-extras club. I sought her out on social media and found out she had previously been enlisted in the army and had been commended for her work on duty.
You can be smart and "do this." In fact, I think the smart ones are sometimes better able to write off the idiot custies, and other dancers doing drugs and handling their money stupidly, as just that -- idiots.
I know with the first girl I described, she gave up dancing, but I think it was probably due more to the occasional guy like me who came in and actually challenged her intellectually rather than the stupidity. She was entertaining the idea of OTC until I told her I had a SO, which I did because she was starting to talk about having me meet her friends and whatnot. At that point, she turned off to me big time. I think she wanted me as a boyfriend moreso than a customer.
Nonetheless, I think it's possible for the smart to do this and do well.
2. Being smart and having earning capacity are two different things. Sometimes, intelligence gives you a better understanding of how your actions impact others, which makes you not as ruthless as other go-getter businessmen who are just out to get what they want and don't care if they're taking your cash.
I think a lot of girls who are comfortable with their sexual nature who are smart and have scruples will do this just for the money. Find guys with excess income they're willing to part with, get it by doing what comes naturally and no one gets hurt. Oddly enough, that may seem better ethically than being in a medical field and bilking people in need of medical help who are already low-income for high-priced services, or trying to squeeze out the highest price on a car for someone who just needs an affordable ride to work.
3. I feel bad for dancers issues with men because it shouldn't be that way. I, personally, would absolutely love to be involved with a dancer. But I know my parents, co-workers, friends and others would really look down upon me for it. That's the damn shame moreso than anything.
So she lets other guys have pieces of the pie -- seeing her naked, copping feels, maybe even providing extras, whatever. I'm fine with that. She's giving me the best pieces of the pie, probably whenever I want, for nothing. That's still better. Plus, a girl who has a guy who's OK with that, if she's not hypocritical, should afford her man the same courtesy as well. So if I'm with a redhead, but one night a blonde catches my fancy and things work out, no big deal. Awesome for all. I am not the jealous type in that way, and I would hope she wouldn't be, either. Everyone's happier when everyone gets the pie they want.
Again, it's not me that has the hangups -- it's the people around me, and they make it difficult for me to be with a dancer, not the dancer or me. As such, it's only the guys without those hangups -- no family, no job, no one to look down on them -- that are available. And that sucks.
I am aware of dancers who have good men in their lives. They basically make the point to keep their stripper lives as secret as they can, with only their man, their trusted customers and maybe some trusted family in on it. Like I say, it's more of an indictment of our society's silly way of looking at sexuality than anything. It's just something we do, and there's a lot of worse things we do in terms of negative impact on people. Done well, everyone leaves happy -- she gets the money she needs to sustain herself, I walk away happier and validated, and if I play my cards right, she probably enjoys things, too. Who loses?
I might even doubt the writer was actually a dancer but the details of the reality so well described by her style belie that. She missed a calling as a writer; or perhaps she was just dancing on the side while pursuing a writing career.
Jim, two things here. First, I totally agree that it's a shame that women who do sex work are looked at the way they are. That's a whole 'nother topic, though.
Second, I'm pretty sure the only reason you would absolutely love to be involved with a dancer, is because you haven't been involved with a dancer :) If you had been -- or if you listen to the stories of close to 100% of us here who HAVE been involved with a dancer -- you'd understand why this is such a "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy" type thing. Obviously, this is a generalization and all generalizations have exceptions -- I'm sure there are strippers who are together, who have good men at home, etc. -- but generally speaking, women choose stripping because of a lifetime of poor choices and judgement that leaves them few other choices... and getting involved with them means putting yourself at ground zero of the "poor-choice->crisis->lie-and-manipulate->poor-choice->crisis" cycle. Every one of us tells similar stories, that's not a coincidence.
No issue with the general sentiment on how people portray themselves there. But I'd say a lot of it is posturing, just like the conversations here. There isn't anything wrong with that. Facebook's made billions off giving people opportunities to present whatever version of themselves they choose to, but let's not lose sight of why so many people choose to publish under assumed identities. There are some professions where you simply cannot avoid damage, no matter how well it gets handled. Just skimmed the article and that's basically the TL;DR.
I would not be opposed to being involved with a dancer, but I wouldn't get involved with anyone who makes other poor life choices. I'd drop anyone who does that. Yes, there are a rare few out there for whom they dance, but don't make other poor life choices. They're the ones that tend to be my favorites.
" There is posing here too, but in all honesty, one of the biggest differences: by and large, strip clubs work the way the group here says they do. By and large, strip clubs and strippers are almost nothing like how they're described at SW, my experience is completely different than what's described there. If it worked like on SW, I have no idea how many times my nose would have been broken by now by various strippers, for various reasons; prolly a couple dozen"
I don't consider what goes on here(at TUSCL) the same as posing I find most of it falls into the bragging and "humble bragging" categories although you could consider it posing I personally find that there is more reality, here than on stripper web. So yes i do mostly agree with your POV.
PLs OTC - always was of the mindset that it's the ones often broke and desperate who mismanage their $$$ and live minute-to-minute, that take the OTC chance - at the very least I would think it takes a lot more effort and time to vlget the well-adjusted ones to do OTC and extras.
The funny thing is, they kind of recognize this on stripperweb also, but with their usual unintentionally ironic lack of self-awareness. Over and over, they say, "I've been in relationships with customers, but it never works out, once they're past the fantasy and realize I'm a real person, they lose interest". All of that is absolutely correct, IMO -- everything except "it's because they realize I'm a real person". It's not that she's a real person, we know going in she's a real person; what we vastly underestimate is how horrible and often-broken (tragically) they are, THAT'S why we run.
Papi, I was actually thinking about what I posted, and thinking the same thing. Obviously enough, my sample set of strippers is based on "strippers who will hang out and have sex with middle-aged men". Maybe it's no surprise that they're all broken; maybe the reason I never run into a stripper who isn't broken, is because well-adjusted strippers would never go OTC with me in the first place. I dunno, but it's a perfectly valid point.