How do I approach this?
larryfisherman
California
I've been here long enough to know things like
•don't loan a stripper money if you expect to get it back
•don't fall in love with a stripper
Having said all of this, there is this stripper that I am smitten with. She's gorgeous, great personality, very nice, awesome body, etc. We get along great, I'm 5 years older than her. I would like to date her.
The problem is I'm kind of a regular of hers. I don't get dances with her every time I'm at her club. If I go to that 4 times in a month, I would have likely gotten dances from her 2 of those times. I usually get 3 or 4 dances from her. This has been going on for the past few months.
I fear that I've spent too much money on her, and that no matter how much fun we have, she just sees me as money now.
Is it there any way I could go from her regular to her lover (or at least fuckbuddy)? If so, how do I do it? Have you ever seen a guy go from a regular of a girl to dating that girl?
•don't loan a stripper money if you expect to get it back
•don't fall in love with a stripper
Having said all of this, there is this stripper that I am smitten with. She's gorgeous, great personality, very nice, awesome body, etc. We get along great, I'm 5 years older than her. I would like to date her.
The problem is I'm kind of a regular of hers. I don't get dances with her every time I'm at her club. If I go to that 4 times in a month, I would have likely gotten dances from her 2 of those times. I usually get 3 or 4 dances from her. This has been going on for the past few months.
I fear that I've spent too much money on her, and that no matter how much fun we have, she just sees me as money now.
Is it there any way I could go from her regular to her lover (or at least fuckbuddy)? If so, how do I do it? Have you ever seen a guy go from a regular of a girl to dating that girl?
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43 comments
Has she expressed any interest in you personally or are you just a customer? If you're not buying dances from her on every visit you make, how's she read that? Sure there are guys who've made the transition from customer to BF, but not often.
Make a sacrifice and skip the clubs for one week. Then you can take the $30K saved by not making it rain to buy her a really nice diamond ring. Then go to the club, get down on one knee and propose. Just make sure it isn't a school night so you can stay out until 10pm without breaking curfew.
You need to decide what it is that you want, and then just make it happen. If you don't do this, the women will make it happen for you, and there way.
Been There, Done That!
SJG
I have no idea why anyone would want to date a dancer unless it's a first time thing. Trust me, dancers are great for fantasy relationships because you pay for it, but real life is....real.
This is just a bullshit line that has no bearing on reality, that we tell ourselves so we don't feel bad -- "it's not that she's totally unattracted and uninterested me -- it's that she sees me as money! Yeah, that's it, if not for that mistake, she'd be on this D!". I was a customer first, of every stripper I ever ended up a fuckbuddy with. Even on SW, the girls tell stories of dating customers. The strippers always pursue you if they're interested.
There's no real strategizing here. If she's not pursuing you at all, she's not interested at all. So, if you want to go for it, there's no right or wrong, it's like a hail mary pass, it probably won't get caught anyway, so just close your eyes and throw in any direction you want :)
Grow a set and ask her out.
Wives usually get money. GF's of super rich guys usually get money and stuff.
It is just that the meaning of the money is different. I would call it Mistress Maintenance, or sometimes they call it, "Looking after her."
It all depends upon what you want. Being young, you might not want to be giving her money. But if you continue to get involved with her, it has to be just like it would be with any other woman.
I did not understand this before, but in the years before I was married, my future wife went very far out of her way to hold down jobs and pay apartment rent with her girl friends. I see now that she was showing me that she was wife material, not mistress material. And she never ever suggested some kind of cohabitation.
She did insist that I co-sign on a car loan, and I did not like that and refused to do it. She was 100% self righteous about this, and this was out of character for her.
So sleeping on it, I loaned her $1000 so that she might be able to make a bigger down payment and alleviate the need for a cosigner. She was supposed to pay it back, but she never did. I was getting paid far more money than she was, so these sorts of situations are hard to avoid. But she backed down anyway, and the car dealer opened the envelope in coming up with financing anyway. But the entire episode rubbed me the wrong way, though today I understand much better why for women, sex and money are never really separable.
In High School or College you are usually dealing with girls who are being supported by their parents. Totally different situation. Not that many young women seem to be paying much of apartment rent.
I had zero understanding of any of this back when I was your age.
Good Luck,
SJG
Lil Fishsticks is 15, and he claims this girl is 5 years younger than him... so this girl is 10?
You're a sick fuck Lil Fishsticks.
Shame.
Shame.
Shame.
Shame.
Shame.
I needed to hear that, he's right.
@Gawker- "Not likely to happen" I agree with that. She told me once she could see herself hanging out with me outside the club. She generally knows that sometimes I will just chill out and drink, and sometimes I will get dances from her. Sometimes she will say something like, "are you getting dances tonight or are you just chilling out"?
@SJG- thanks for the insight bro
@MJX- that's what I kind of fear, that there is no going back from being a customer.
@Subra- I'm going for the Hail Mary!
@justme- she likes her weed, but she's never done crack
@rockstar- I'm a hopeless romantic lol.
Even her stripper friend is telling me I just need to man up and ask her out.
Shame
Shame
Shame
If you had met her elsewhere then found out she was a dancer then maybe but the other way around not likely.
She will always look at you as a client and you will always think of her as "paid for".
Have fun with it but if you can't keep it on a professional level them stop now.
On the plus side, there would be no reason to feel uncomfortable going back to the club after she shoots you down.
The stripper code disallows strippers from talking to one another about how pathetic you are and how much of a loser you are.
Good luck, and report back.
Were I you, I'd probably try to spin it as a sugar thing.
The one I was talking to told her friend "your man just came in", and a few minutes later, her friend came back and said he had asked her to dinner. I asked her if she thought her friend should accept, and she said yeah, cuz her boyfriend is a loser and she likes the guy who asked her out. The only sticking point was that the friend had wasted a few years with the loser boyfriend, so there was inertia.
I don't think it wouldn't have gotten to that point if he had proposed something sexual.
Well then, ask her out. Find a party at someone's house and ask her to go with you as your companion and see where it goes from there. Or have her jump on the back of your motorcycle at the end of her shift**. Strippers like to party like a monster. Sure you might have to deal with rejection but it's a numbers game. They usually say yes 33-67% of the time, IME.
WTF is your hangup about asking women out? Most guys north of 15 or 17 figure this out. I'm starting to think somethings up ad Shailynn's right or something. Something's not adding up. Were you handed everything in life or something? How does a guy move from Detroit to SoCal, get a $100K job, then hesitate about asking women out? Sack up.
**Note: real pickup tactic. A roommate of mine used to use that all of the time .. literally, he'd pick them up on a street, in the lot, etc. on his crotch rocket.
But having a Mistress is different. She is usually a bit older and a much smarter and more practical person.
Okay, but you are probably young enough that you don't want that either. So if you start going out with this girl you will end up being involved with her, and that will go where it goes. If you want her, go for her. Only one way to find out. Keep it strictly civilian, and ask her out. Odds sound very high that good will come from this.
SJG
Wow the world is coming to a end, for once I actually agree with Dominic. That is a good idea.
I will report back.
We need a loan a testicle service.
Are they frugal and practical people, ones who use their money carefully?
SJG
The Best Of Cream
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDee1d5b…
I've had others who were also college students or single moms, looking to make ends meet.
Some may be wasteful, but a large number are using the money for practical purposes.
Hell of a lot better than marriage!
SJG
The Hermetic Hour - The "Why" of Magick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq5re8EL…
Who do you think you are talking to?
SJG
SJG
The Hermetic Hour : Introduction To Hermetics - Part 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyQ0fjNo…
Are you free tonight, I'd like to take you to XXX for dinner.
Ok, is there a night that works for you?
Pick a place. make sure it is a good place. Have a plan. Do not ask her where she wants to go.
18 Hours Ago • ^^^^^ a better solution for you!
Who do you think you are talking to?
SJG
Fuck you, you are a self righteous prick
https://www.extremerestraints.com/butt-p…
SJG