How do I approach this?

Not likely to happen. What do you know about her? Do you know her real name? Know where she lives? Who she lives with? Does she have a BF? Has she expressed any interest in you personally or are you just a customer? If you're not buying dances from her on every visit you make, how's she read that? Sure there are guys who've made the transition from customer to BF, but not often.

If you are really serious about her, I suggest you go for it.

Make a sacrifice and skip the clubs for one week. Then you can take the $30K saved by not making it rain to buy her a really nice diamond ring. Then go to the club, get down on one knee and propose. Just make sure it isn't a school night so you can stay out until 10pm without breaking curfew.

I think the issue is that you have to look at her just as you would any other woman. And the mistake which gets one backed into a corner is simply from looking at 'strippers' as something other than ordinary women in the first place.

You need to decide what it is that you want, and then just make it happen. If you don't do this, the women will make it happen for you, and there way.

Been There, Done That!

SJG

If you end up dating her, she will argue, whine, cajole, etc. just like all g/f's will do. If it's p4p she will always be sweet and nice.

I have no idea why anyone would want to date a dancer unless it's a first time thing. Trust me, dancers are great for fantasy relationships because you pay for it, but real life is....real.

-->"I fear that I've spent too much money on her, and that no matter how much fun we have, she just sees me as money now."

This is just a bullshit line that has no bearing on reality, that we tell ourselves so we don't feel bad -- "it's not that she's totally unattracted and uninterested me -- it's that she sees me as money! Yeah, that's it, if not for that mistake, she'd be on this D!". I was a customer first, of every stripper I ever ended up a fuckbuddy with. Even on SW, the girls tell stories of dating customers. The strippers always pursue you if they're interested.

There's no real strategizing here. If she's not pursuing you at all, she's not interested at all. So, if you want to go for it, there's no right or wrong, it's like a hail mary pass, it probably won't get caught anyway, so just close your eyes and throw in any direction you want :)

what will she choose... you or mom and crack?

I'm willing to bet any amount of money that you're still a virgin.

Sounds like your screwed

"Is it there any way I could go from her regular to her lover (or at least fuckbuddy)? If so, how do I do it?"

Grow a set and ask her out.

I say that you have to treat her just like you would any other woman. But this does not mean that you cannot or should not be giving her money.

Wives usually get money. GF's of super rich guys usually get money and stuff.

It is just that the meaning of the money is different. I would call it Mistress Maintenance, or sometimes they call it, "Looking after her."

It all depends upon what you want. Being young, you might not want to be giving her money. But if you continue to get involved with her, it has to be just like it would be with any other woman.

I did not understand this before, but in the years before I was married, my future wife went very far out of her way to hold down jobs and pay apartment rent with her girl friends. I see now that she was showing me that she was wife material, not mistress material. And she never ever suggested some kind of cohabitation.

She did insist that I co-sign on a car loan, and I did not like that and refused to do it. She was 100% self righteous about this, and this was out of character for her.

So sleeping on it, I loaned her $1000 so that she might be able to make a bigger down payment and alleviate the need for a cosigner. She was supposed to pay it back, but she never did. I was getting paid far more money than she was, so these sorts of situations are hard to avoid. But she backed down anyway, and the car dealer opened the envelope in coming up with financing anyway. But the entire episode rubbed me the wrong way, though today I understand much better why for women, sex and money are never really separable.

In High School or College you are usually dealing with girls who are being supported by their parents. Totally different situation. Not that many young women seem to be paying much of apartment rent.

I had zero understanding of any of this back when I was your age.

Good Luck, SJG

Once she sees you as a customer there is no goingback imo. p4p isn't out off the question though. By now you should has an idea how much of an entrepreneur she is.

WAIT!!!!!!

Lil Fishsticks is 15, and he claims this girl is 5 years younger than him... so this girl is 10?

You're a sick fuck Lil Fishsticks.

Shame.

Shame.

Shame.

Shame.

Shame.

I agree totally with K. You need to man up and tell her what you want. If you want to date her Tell Her ! If you want to fuck her Tell her ! Stop beating around the bush with these girls and tell them what you want. We're all adults here and need to communicate as adults !

Uh Larry is 15, so we are not all adults here.

"Grow a set and ask her out" I needed to hear that, he's right.

@Gawker- "Not likely to happen" I agree with that. She told me once she could see herself hanging out with me outside the club. She generally knows that sometimes I will just chill out and drink, and sometimes I will get dances from her. Sometimes she will say something like, "are you getting dances tonight or are you just chilling out"?

@SJG- thanks for the insight bro

@MJX- that's what I kind of fear, that there is no going back from being a customer.

@Subra- I'm going for the Hail Mary!

@justme- she likes her weed, but she's never done crack

@rockstar- I'm a hopeless romantic lol.

Even her stripper friend is telling me I just need to man up and ask her out.

@jestrite- thanks, I needed to hear that.

Lol

Shame

Shame

Shame

How come you didn't thank me and crazyjoe, Lil Fishstick?

Shit! I must still be on ignored

I'm gonna man up and ask her out next week.

That is a mine field I would chose not to enter. If you had met her elsewhere then found out she was a dancer then maybe but the other way around not likely. She will always look at you as a client and you will always think of her as "paid for". Have fun with it but if you can't keep it on a professional level them stop now.

I strongly encourage you to go for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

On the plus side, there would be no reason to feel uncomfortable going back to the club after she shoots you down. The stripper code disallows strippers from talking to one another about how pathetic you are and how much of a loser you are.

Good luck, and report back.

It's not completely outside the realm of possibility that she'll go out with you, even if on a FWB type situation. I fully acknowledge that my experiences with my ATF and the MILF are atypical, but they do show that such things can happen.

Were I you, I'd probably try to spin it as a sugar thing.

@GMD- I'm 26, she's 21. I'm too young to be a sugar daddy :)

I was at a club the other day hanging out at the bar with a couple of the upper crust strippers. They both come off as having it pretty well together, with the exception of each having the stereotypical stripper boyfriend.

The one I was talking to told her friend "your man just came in", and a few minutes later, her friend came back and said he had asked her to dinner. I asked her if she thought her friend should accept, and she said yeah, cuz her boyfriend is a loser and she likes the guy who asked her out. The only sticking point was that the friend had wasted a few years with the loser boyfriend, so there was inertia.

I don't think it wouldn't have gotten to that point if he had proposed something sexual.

it is rare for a customer to come out ahead financially. but we might visually and with some good memories. ( oh girl.... do that again!)

LFM --> "I'm 26, she's 21. I'm too young to be a sugar daddy :)"

Well then, ask her out. Find a party at someone's house and ask her to go with you as your companion and see where it goes from there. Or have her jump on the back of your motorcycle at the end of her shift**. Strippers like to party like a monster. Sure you might have to deal with rejection but it's a numbers game. They usually say yes 33-67% of the time, IME.

WTF is your hangup about asking women out? Most guys north of 15 or 17 figure this out. I'm starting to think somethings up ad Shailynn's right or something. Something's not adding up. Were you handed everything in life or something? How does a guy move from Detroit to SoCal, get a $100K job, then hesitate about asking women out? Sack up.

**Note: real pickup tactic. A roommate of mine used to use that all of the time .. literally, he'd pick them up on a street, in the lot, etc. on his crotch rocket.

Larry, I am not one who has ever gone along with the idea of SD's and SB's. I don't like the connotations. The SB is a stupid wasteful girl.

But having a Mistress is different. She is usually a bit older and a much smarter and more practical person.

Okay, but you are probably young enough that you don't want that either. So if you start going out with this girl you will end up being involved with her, and that will go where it goes. If you want her, go for her. Only one way to find out. Keep it strictly civilian, and ask her out. Odds sound very high that good will come from this.

SJG

"Find a party at someone's house and ask her to go with you"

Wow the world is coming to a end, for once I actually agree with Dominic. That is a good idea.

I will report back.

SJG, you make a lot of sweeping generalizations often that are simply not true. Saying all SB's are stupid, wasteful girls is one of them. You are an interesting character.

"WTF is your hangup about asking women out? " Dominic77 is right. The answer to most legitimate questions on this site is grow a set and ask. We need a loan a testicle service.

ClearHeels, you ever have a Sugar Baby, you know any?

Are they frugal and practical people, ones who use their money carefully?

SJG

The Best Of Cream youtube.com

Yep, I've had several. My current one goes to school full time, works two part time jobs, and sees me. Her money goes to rent, car insurance, food, tuition, etc. She's not wasting it on drugs or using it to buy fancy clothes, purses, and shoes.

I've had others who were also college students or single moms, looking to make ends meet.

Some may be wasteful, but a large number are using the money for practical purposes.

Well then I would probably like those girls. But I would not call them Sugar Babies. In other countries than the United States they would be called Mistresses, or people would just say that you are "keeping them".

Hell of a lot better than marriage!

SJG

The Hermetic Hour - The "Why" of Magick youtube.com

Cut your dick off.... In the end that would be a better solution for you

^^^^^ a better solution for you!

Who do you think you are talking to?

SJG

Update: I asked her out to dinner tonight. She said she's working tonight, but would love to do it on a day she's not working. We'll see what happens.

Awwesome!

SJG

The Hermetic Hour : Introduction To Hermetics - Part 1 youtube.com

You left it at that? You didn't suggest another night or at least ask her when is a good night? Or did she leave it open?

Are you free tonight, I'd like to take you to XXX for dinner. Ok, is there a night that works for you?

Pick a place. make sure it is a good place. Have a plan. Do not ask her where she wants to go.

@K-she left it open. My schedule is all over the place right now, but I'll follow up with her sometime next week.

SJG

18 Hours Ago • ^^^^^ a better solution for you!

Who do you think you are talking to?

SJG

Fuck you, you are a self righteous prick

Daddillac, just for you: extremerestraints.com

SJG

Now that's funny.... even if I wanted one of those I would not know where to find one.... SJG has the link bookmarked.... lol you dick liking ball hugging asshole