tuscl

TUSCL Cyber Monday Sale!!!!!!!

Avatar for shailynn
shailynnThey never tell you what you need to know.

Here at TUSCL we deal in more physical experiences than tangible goods, but that doesn't mean we still can't participate in Cyber Monday, after all we are a damn website!

Lunch with Founder: 20% off $1,000

Lunch with Emily: 2% off $5,000

Johnsmith69 tutorial: 15% off $200 - travel with JS69 and learn how to blow through $1,000 in a club quicker than Juice blows $8 on an Arby's Value Menu on cheat day. If you're lucky you may even find your own DS.

Juice tutorial: 85% off $3 - shadow Juice during a normal day. Learn how to bag groceries at Piggly Wiggly, learn which flavors of Four Loko taste the best and learn how to have a great time on backpage with only spending $18.

Shailynn tutorial: 50% off $500 - follow Shailynn as he takes you through 8 Detroit strip clubs in two hours, gets you laid, no STDs and you will not get shot or robbed while on 8 mile.

Gawker tutorial: 3% off $14,000 - hang with Gawker watching homemade porn, learning everything you need to know about rehab, how to handle high problem strippers and how to hide a stripper in your own house.

Bavarian tutorial: 10% off $50 - travel with Bavarian to some of the best clubs Dallas he to offer with wads of cash in your pockets - only to leave with blue balls every time.

Crazyjoe tutorial: 15% off $125 - follow crazyjoe as he picks out the perfect restrooms across Colorado to take a shit in as well as a trip to Tilted Kilt for some cool beers and big boobies.

Larryfishsticks tutoring session: $15hr - here's where TUSCL gives back. Helping our resident adolescent when he needs help. If you're willing to help larryfishsticks with his Alegebra homework, we will pay YOU $15 an hour. If little Larry gets an "A" on his winter report card, you will receive a $25 bonus gift card for Lohn John Silvers or Aurthur Treachors, your choice.

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Avatar for jackslash
jackslash

Jackslash cooking tutorial: 10% off $500. Learn to make lasagna guaranteed to make strippers give you free sex.

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Avatar for shailynn
shailynn

Lapdanceking82 tutorial: 69% off $125 - lane how to cum in your pants in under 3 minutes!!!!

San_Jose_Guy luncheon: We will pay ANYONE $100 to have lunch with SJG and his mom. We will pay an additional $200 if anyone can get him to come out of his mom's basement.

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Avatar for Sleepwalking
Sleepwalking

Fuck! I was waiting all year to buy a discounted copy of The System and it's still full price. I already have a 3 piece white suit on layaway too.

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Avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels

Lap dances at Henry VIII South 10 for $20, includes VIP wristband, and all the STD's you can handle.

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Avatar for ime
ime

22% off the San Jose Guy party pack normal price $200 includes:
Zip ties
Gag
Pre-soaked chloroform rag
Chain with padlock
High heels and make up
Bucket for bodily fluids as there is no bathroom in the basement.

If you order in the next 30 minutes you will get a free bottle of extra strength Ambien, because its not rape if she is sleeping.

EXTRA SPECIAL BONUS - Lloyd Schoene's handwritten manifesto and position on the board of his imaginary organization

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Avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat

50% off on my favorite seat at Follies when I am not there. That is a $50 value :)

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Avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg

20% off a pew in my church on Sunday morning! Free coffee and goodies after the 11:00 am service! A truly reformed sermon! Corporate confession and absolution of sin guaranteed, even for tittyfag, JS69 and Rick Dugan. :-)

Unfortunately, SJG can't be accommodated - some people we just can't handle....

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Avatar for JuiceBox69
JuiceBox69

LMFAO

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Avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy

ATACdawg, can I bring my Christian eating lions?

SJG

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shailynn
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Avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy

^^^^^ When they're with me, they are just like that.

I first got to handle a very playful lion cub decades ago at Marine World. About 10 lbs, and always gently biting my hands. Scared me though, because it was much bigger boned and much stronger than a house cat.

SJG

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Avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe

Lol... come on down

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crazyjoe

Tilted Kilt is a good place to shit too

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Avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels

Shitting in txtittyfag's mouth. FREE !!! Come on down, crazyjoe.

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Avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

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