My ATF left drug detox, spent an evening in a hotel with me and then moved to Florida. She calls or texts me 2 or 3 times a day and I still have most of her possessions in my cellar. She is loving the beach and has sent me several photos showing me the tiny white spots left on her body. She met a guy at an NA meeting who is her age and she's been out with him a few times and says that he reminds her of me.
She had planned on dancing, but he says he won't see her if she does. She was talking to me about him tonight and she said she hadn't even fucked him yet, but would call me and tell me all about it when she does. So she filled out an application to work in a donut shop and is going to spend a month in a rehab program as soon as she gets health insurance. She swears she's not using drugs and is living with family who would kick her out if she did.
While I'm not qualified to make a diagnosis, I'd bet my left testicle that she has a Borderline Personality Disorder which is not easily treated. (Google that term and tell me the characteristics aren't shared by 50% of the strippers you know). If I'm right the dual diagnosis of a mental health problem and an addiction are tough to just get over.
She's currently got a prescription for gabapentin which is a non-narcotic pill which she says helps her going through detox. We've discussed phone sex using FaceTime or Marco Polo but haven't tried it yet. Any of you PL's fans of phone sex? Any advice?
Long distance relationship
gawkerOlder than dirt
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last commentIf she's texting 2 or 3 times per day, she must miss you a lot.
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strippers go into rehab for drugs, probably supplied from boyfriends or being influenced working inside a strip club.
I would have to go into rehab if I worked in a donut shop. The new dozen donuts at the shop would only feature 5 donuts because I would always eat the other 7.
Who knows if her new boy "friend" will be a good influence or not, but by him forbidding her to strip, may be a step in the right direction as she won't be tempted to fall into bad habits again. I mean, is working in a strip club in MA at night really any different from working at one in FL?
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Good point, Shailynn. My advice had been to stay away from stripping, but she's looking for fast cash. I'm sure at just about any club in the country there are people who are involved with heroin. Her first week, she said she thought about using 100 times a day. Now she says she likes going to the beach everyday almost as much as dope.
She tried surfing today with her new BF and she loved it. Says she got up standing on her second wave. She and I have talked endlessly about why she has always been drawn to "bad boys" and this guy is so different. Well educated, good responsible job, and she says he treats her with respect.
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My ATF spent a month in rehab (for alcohol, not narcotics). Then she went into a halfway house, where she had to stay sober and work at a regular job. The job paid around $8 an hour and taxes were deducted from her check. So she went back to stripping where she makes more in one trip to VIP than she made in a week at a regular job. Who can blame her? She also went back to drinking, although she does not drink as heavily as she used to.
I think Gawker's ATF will definitely start stripping again. Hopefully, she will stay off heroin.
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I hope she can stay clean. The odds aren't in her favor. I don't think it is a good idea for her to go back to stripping since it'll put her back in a place where many co-workers use drugs. So this new boyfriend may actually be good for her. Maybe you should say that.
I'm not sure I'd want to continue the relationship. No disrespect gawker, but she seems like your drug!
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If you're having a long-distance relationship with a drug addicted hooker I would take a serious look at who actually has the personality disorder. Move on.
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My wife brought this up yesterday. She was saying "you notice how the obituaries in the paper have a 20 something year old death every week now? And they never say the cause of death, like long battle with cancer or taken from us too soon by a car accident," she mentioned the drug epidemic is way out of hand. She's right.
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People from the 12 step recovery groups are nuts!!
Alcohol, Tobacco, Street Drugs, Recovery, Born Again Christianity, Psychiatric Medications, all absolutely crazy making. Don't deal with such people!
SJG
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People go to Recovery Groups so that they can stop using for a while, but still keeping the door open to more using, because they don't have to learn to think differently.
SJG
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I am involved with various community groups. Those who come out of the 12 step background are NUTS!
But I am always telling the Evangelicals, with someone who had been treated with dignity and respect and been given the chance to develop and apply their abilities, it is highly unlikely that they will ever have a serious problem with drugs or alcohol.
But the Evangelicals do not want to hear this, they do not even understand this.
I am 100% opposed to the concept of Recovery because it is simply dumping more abuse on abuse survivors. But no one in a Recovery Group will ever be able to understand this.
SJG
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SJG - Which 12 step program did you come out of?
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He's addicted to gravy and AMPs
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NONE OF THEM!
But I have gone to meetings. Long long ago I did think that these offered something, like CoDependents Anonymous, CoDA.
The one which is the least like the others is ACoA ( Adult Children of Alcoholics ) It is the lesser bad of them.
And just to better understand them and their people, I have gone to AA and NA meetings.
There are also these places known as Alano Clubs, which host the meetings. I learned much from being there too. But ultimately I was one of the neighborhood people who helped to run one out of town.
Now I will not have anything to do with any of them and I completely reject their thinking.
There is an entire culture of Shit Head living. These are people who have survived childhood familial abuses, but they do not understand this. So instead they wrap themselves in the Self-Reliance Ethic, and they go for this doctrine of "powerlessness".
The people are completely nuts!
Good Site:
orange-papers.org
Great Book:
amazon.com
Unfortunately, in my observation, in an area like Santa Clara County, still being a bit red neck, most of the white stripers would well be described as Shit Heads.
Some use drugs and alcohol, some are in Recovery and Born Again Christianity, some are on psychiatric medication. But it all amounts to the same sorts of thinking.
This assessment does not apply to San Francisco, because most of their dancers are of a more bohemian and self select group who did not grow up there, but ventured outward to find that which San Francisco is known for.
I will never have any thing to do with anyone who goes along with the concept of Recovery, as all it amounts to is lies and denial, and further abusing abuse survivors.
SJG
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find a new fav
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It's best to let her go. Maybe keep it to texting or writing letters.
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What we need here is simply a cure for alcohol, drugs, born again Christianity, reactionary politics, recovery, and motivationalism.
That cure does exist, and it is called political consciousness and self-awareness.
If gawker's ATF can have it, then everyone else can too. But it is a tall order to fill!
SJG
Am I The One - Beth Hart Live , the Shit Head GF from Hell.
youtube.com
It isn't just the deep voice. But I don't know if she is really like this, or if she is just playing a part for the genre of music. Either way, there are lots of people just like what she is playing.
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I thought people in programs weren't supposed to date each other?
I also have to wonder if this guy is so great what exactly his interest in her would be?
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