Well I've reached a new milestone in my mongering, I officially have a CF. So much so, that at this point I'm kind of like, what is the point of going to any other club & spending money on any other dancer, until she has run her course. I know it sounds really sprung, but If I'm guaranteed to have a good time with her, what is the point of blowing my money anywhere/on anyone else? Side point: she works really inconvenient days for me, and my ability to get available time to club has decreased since this summer, so this may end up saving me money anyway, if I'm just holding my powder, for when the stars line up with her schedule.
Is what it is. As long as you don't get too attached. I have the same feeling and have broken one of my rules with the ATF; always have backups. Feels like a waste since the ATF is so good, but that just means to be extra careful and conscience.
Being about 4 month in to my first ever favorite, I can say that switching it up a little is a good idea. It helps keep things fresh, and I think it keeps her on her toes if she sees you with others. Plus, she won't start to expect it, which is the problem I am having with my CF.
To echo some of the sentiments above: of COURSE it makes sense, and you're being silly to even question that... AS LONG AS you're not getting too attached. That last part sounds easy, but took me years to master. Everyone who CFs/ATFs gets caught up with their first few faves; I know I did.
In any case, once I have an ATF, I basically shoot to only see her. I arrange my trips to try to see her -- I go when I know she's working, and alternatively, she adds on on days she knows I'm coming. Reaping the amazing benefits of the ATF/PL relationship is my favorite experience in strip clubbing. Of course, sometimes it doesn't work out, she can't add on the day I'm coming, or she flakes, and I end up seeing someone else. But once I have an ATF, I'm perfectly happy not seeing anyone else until it runs its course
What I'm finding lately is I meet a knockout dancer to me who becomes an instant fav - get her number and everything - only to find after seeing her a 2nd or 3rd time in the club I'm no longer interested. Think this phenomena may be happening for a few reasons: something about her personality turns me off, the VIP experience gets boring, or I see other girls at the club I want to sample.
I once took a break for a year and half. Only went to see my ATF. Did I miss all the other clubs,not really. Does it make sense to spend your time and money on just one dancer, I think so. You can build a friendship that will last for years. Spread yourself too thin and you just end up lonely and broke. If it makes you happy, stick with it.
Having a stable CF is pretty nice and what I tend to go for. I have the same problem as maho, though where I will be completely enamoured one day, then cool off.
There have been times where it stuck on my side, though. That is the more difficult situation to manage to avoid ending up like gawker.
I'm glad others have the same problems as me, when it comes to CF's.
It is so easy to fall for some of these girls that give a great GFE.
Multiple CF's are interesting trying to manage, without any drama.
I went from 1 CF, to none when she quit last December. Finally found a new Fav in March.
Now, I have 3 favs. I find it difficult to manage 3 CF's, but each has their own special qualities and I like the variety!
Plus, since I recently started seeing CF#2 more often, CF#1 upped her game on my last visit, which was a pleasant surprise.
Starting to really like the slow summer months....it makes the girls more competitive, in a good way, lol.
I have enjoyed having a favorite, it is more fun cultivating that, and I'm not too proud to admit that it's all about the GFE that she provides. But as some have alluded, the problem I suffer from is getting too attached; forgetting it's fake. I have to constantly remind myself to keep it in check, as I think about her all the time.
I'm relatively new to this though, so what I'm hoping is that with each favorite down the road it will become easier and easier to stay detached from.
And whoever said strippers are flaky, wow, truer words have never been spoken. It's as if it's a prerequisite for the job.
The variety is still nice to explore. Trust me, it help avoid burn-out with a CF. I's say try the following split: 50% with the CF; 50% with other girls. Where percent is time not necessarily money. Monogamy in the strip club is kind of not the best option to me. You want to stretch it out while avoiding burn out. YMMV
Strip-clubbing is about enjoying oneself, if you enjoy your time w/ her then that is what it's all about (and you can always choose a different route in the future).
In my cynical mind:
1) don't forget you are a cu$ty & she does not see you as you see her - IMO 99% of the time PLs get attached while it's busine$$ for her - custies are a means to an end for dancers; dancers reserve their emotions for non-custies
2) you are a paying custy & should not accept half-ass treatment b/c she gets complaisant & you let her
Though I know better, sometimes the little head gets very persuasive and fucks with my big head.
When kept in check, I have found that getting close with a fav generally enhances my SC experience. Since I do enjoy variety I don't develop exclusive fav relationships. I'd say I spend about half my time with a fav and play the field with the rest of my visit. The thing that sucks is when some dancers see me as my fav's custie and stay away.
IMO it's ok to go w/ the flow & enjoy the fave ride for all it's worth including letting oneself have feelings for the fave, but we can't then be all butt-hurt when things go south ad if we didn't know any better - just saying that one should not completely drink the koolaid (agsin just my personal opinion)
Flagooner, you say you don't care how your fave sees you; for me that doesn't fly. Of course that's just me.
With my favorite I see the dynamics changing fast. Slower to respond to texts, if at all. Sweet comments both in person and through text are diminishing. Attitude in the club changing. Almost morphing into a person completely different than the one I thought I met. And believe me, it is not for lack of cash going her way.
Part of the fun for me is at least the appearance of a GFE. I'm not dillusional, I know it's not real, and knowing what I know about her I wouldn't want it to be real even if she did... but that is the way in which I enjoy my clubbing.
If things totally fall apart with my CF (who happens to be my first), I'm quite certain I'll immediately but methodically look for a replacement. I can totally grasp why many of you guys like complete variety and no attachments, but it's just not the most fun route for me. To each their own though. That's the beauty of it.
@timothyjames55, you don't have to think of a CF in terms of serial monogamy. Switching it up with a different dancer who isn't taking you for granted could make things much better with your CF as she realizes that you're willing to walk away (or is reassured that you're not obsessively fixated on her and can move on when the time comes). A new one who hasn't taken you for granted could be a better experience in general, anyway. Where is the joy in getting diminishing returns?
ppwh, those are great points. Although the strip club world shouldn't be confused with the dating world, there are still a bunch of parallels, and what you are mentioning would totally work in the real world. Not sure why I didn't give that some thought.
I think when I go back I'll play it more cool, play it like I did before I have a CF. Just there to have a good time. Responses from you veterans are what make this forum great. I signed up for the reviews, the forum has just been a bonus.
I imagine that for many dancers it is not easy to be regularly/consistently all sweet & lovely every time they meet their regular, I assume particularly so for the younger less mature dancers - plus many of these girls have issues in their lives that may make it hard for them to be all sweet & lovely & continuously put up that front - many
StripperWeb dancers state that regulars can often not be worth their regular cash b/c of the expectations developed by the custy, meaning they dont wamt to put up w/ the same custy on a regular basis especially if it's one they deem wants/requires too much effort/attention.
At TJ55, perhaps your fave may be one of those dancers that can't handle having regulars & what that entails & may want out even if she really wants your $$$.
I don't really see any genuine/real parallels b/w the strip-club world & the dating world - one of them is completely make-believe & it's purely a business transaction - and *IMO* custies that believe there is similarity are the ones that often get-burned & can get in trouble.
Papi, you very well could be right. All the more reason to stick to the advice I was given above and just go to the club with expectations of simply having a good time, whatever and whoever that may involve.
Maybe a new CF, maybe the current fave comes back around, or maybe remaining in between CF's for a while and just enjoying some variety for a bit.
It sounds to me more like tj55's CF is responding to the way that he has trained her to treat him: ie., any old way and that the $ will keep coming. For a while, I would take uber to a nearby club, so once I was there, I would stay until I wanted to call it a night. So, I would usually hang around for quite a while regardless of what was going on in the club.
That CF started marking me down as a sure thing, and would go for hours with me waiting around while she mined for new money. I ended up figuring that drinking less and switching clubs more was a better way to go. Things with that CF reached a new level after I started leaving early to hit other clubs on nights when it was boring to sit around at her club for a couple of hours with nothing interesting going on.
ppwh, you said things with that CF reached a new level... do you mean she realized you weren't as pussy-whipped as she originally thought and started to go back to being more of a favorite? Or that things got worse?
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To play devil's advocate, you may want to continue seeing others so you don't get bored with her as quickly.
To echo some of the sentiments above: of COURSE it makes sense, and you're being silly to even question that... AS LONG AS you're not getting too attached. That last part sounds easy, but took me years to master. Everyone who CFs/ATFs gets caught up with their first few faves; I know I did.
In any case, once I have an ATF, I basically shoot to only see her. I arrange my trips to try to see her -- I go when I know she's working, and alternatively, she adds on on days she knows I'm coming. Reaping the amazing benefits of the ATF/PL relationship is my favorite experience in strip clubbing. Of course, sometimes it doesn't work out, she can't add on the day I'm coming, or she flakes, and I end up seeing someone else. But once I have an ATF, I'm perfectly happy not seeing anyone else until it runs its course
There have been times where it stuck on my side, though. That is the more difficult situation to manage to avoid ending up like gawker.
It is so easy to fall for some of these girls that give a great GFE.
Multiple CF's are interesting trying to manage, without any drama.
I went from 1 CF, to none when she quit last December. Finally found a new Fav in March.
Now, I have 3 favs. I find it difficult to manage 3 CF's, but each has their own special qualities and I like the variety!
Plus, since I recently started seeing CF#2 more often, CF#1 upped her game on my last visit, which was a pleasant surprise.
Starting to really like the slow summer months....it makes the girls more competitive, in a good way, lol.
I'm in exactly the same position.
My one word of advice is to cultivate a number 2 ( not a turd, a second favorite).
As a rule strippers are, if nothing else, flaky. You will not want to be left fav-less when she is not available.
The visit will not be as enjoyable, but at least it will not be a waste.
I'm relatively new to this though, so what I'm hoping is that with each favorite down the road it will become easier and easier to stay detached from.
And whoever said strippers are flaky, wow, truer words have never been spoken. It's as if it's a prerequisite for the job.
In my cynical mind:
1) don't forget you are a cu$ty & she does not see you as you see her - IMO 99% of the time PLs get attached while it's busine$$ for her - custies are a means to an end for dancers; dancers reserve their emotions for non-custies
2) you are a paying custy & should not accept half-ass treatment b/c she gets complaisant & you let her
Just my glass-half- empty opinion
While I do agree with you ...
Though I know better, sometimes the little head gets very persuasive and fucks with my big head.
When kept in check, I have found that getting close with a fav generally enhances my SC experience. Since I do enjoy variety I don't develop exclusive fav relationships. I'd say I spend about half my time with a fav and play the field with the rest of my visit. The thing that sucks is when some dancers see me as my fav's custie and stay away.
I don't really care how she sees me. Not really important.
Yes. I live near Orlando, hence the Disney references.
With my favorite I see the dynamics changing fast. Slower to respond to texts, if at all. Sweet comments both in person and through text are diminishing. Attitude in the club changing. Almost morphing into a person completely different than the one I thought I met. And believe me, it is not for lack of cash going her way.
Part of the fun for me is at least the appearance of a GFE. I'm not dillusional, I know it's not real, and knowing what I know about her I wouldn't want it to be real even if she did... but that is the way in which I enjoy my clubbing.
If things totally fall apart with my CF (who happens to be my first), I'm quite certain I'll immediately but methodically look for a replacement. I can totally grasp why many of you guys like complete variety and no attachments, but it's just not the most fun route for me. To each their own though. That's the beauty of it.
I think when I go back I'll play it more cool, play it like I did before I have a CF. Just there to have a good time. Responses from you veterans are what make this forum great. I signed up for the reviews, the forum has just been a bonus.
StripperWeb dancers state that regulars can often not be worth their regular cash b/c of the expectations developed by the custy, meaning they dont wamt to put up w/ the same custy on a regular basis especially if it's one they deem wants/requires too much effort/attention.
At TJ55, perhaps your fave may be one of those dancers that can't handle having regulars & what that entails & may want out even if she really wants your $$$.
Maybe a new CF, maybe the current fave comes back around, or maybe remaining in between CF's for a while and just enjoying some variety for a bit.
That CF started marking me down as a sure thing, and would go for hours with me waiting around while she mined for new money. I ended up figuring that drinking less and switching clubs more was a better way to go. Things with that CF reached a new level after I started leaving early to hit other clubs on nights when it was boring to sit around at her club for a couple of hours with nothing interesting going on.
dammit, they are all smashed! and what's up with all the used magnums and needles lying around?