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The "Giant Breast Defense"

Aug 27, 2016, 1:19 AM
Avatar for motorhead
motorhead
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life

Some thoughts.

  1. We need pictures. Definitely need pictures
  2. Was John Smith his lawyer?
  3. I'm moving to Sweden.

Story

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comments (13)

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Avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter

Only fair if the breasts grope you and you can't escape them.

Avatar for jackslash
jackslash

I'm always glad to see justice triumph.

Avatar for JuiceBox69
JuiceBox69

This will teach that wicked bitch

Avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter

I've heard stories about large hard breasts giving a guy a black eye. Assault and titty battery.

Avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69

Impressive defense theory, but I would have taken it a step further. If these women had such gigantic breasts that the guy couldn't help bumping into them then the women would be guilty of assault. Generically speaking, assault is intentional physical contact with another or the imminent threat of such contact. These women had obviously been to bars before, they understood that their gigantic breasts would be bumping into guys left and right in a crowded bar, and yet these women willfully and wantonly went to the bar, callously exposing patrons to this risk. Even worse, I bet they were dressed scantily in a manner that revealed so much of their bodies that the men were seriously distracted, thus escalating the risk that such physical contact would take place in an environment where alcohol is being consumed. It's unconscionable.

Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

^^^^Typical Lawyers SMH ...............; )

Avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels

I have some job assignments there, I'll hang out at the bar and take pics of their breasts.

Avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe

Funny

Avatar for Hugh_G_Rection
Hugh_G_Rection
Avatar for 4got2wipe
4got2wipe

Brilliant defense!

Avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi

i'd like to be vince's assistant.

Avatar for NinaBambina
NinaBambina

"If these women had such gigantic breasts that the guy couldn't help bumping into them then the women would be guilty of assault. Generically speaking, assault is intentional physical contact with another or the imminent threat of such contact."

JS69, you're full of it. What type of law have you been practicing for 30+ years? I'm curious now. The women would not be guilty of assault. Intentional, uncontested touching is called battery. Assault is the fear of battery. Accidental touching is not battery, so in your scenario, these women with giant breasts are still not committing battery (and by extension not assault, either). And the women being at fault for having giant boobs in public that might touch someone? Puh-leeze, by that logic, fat people are committing crimes all the time in bars and so are people in wheelchairs. So are women with really long hair that might touch someone when she swings her head around. No. Everyone is entitled to their own personal space, even the large-breasted.

Avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi

mr reaction. i'll take the brunette on the right. she also drank a fair amount of her glass of adult beverage.

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