So I just was curious to here you guyses opinions. What do you think is a realistic/appropriate age difference when seeking a girl to date and not just for a quick fuck?
Because I'm an asshole, there is no such thing as an "appropriate" age difference for dating. If you want to date, then date. Other people can shut the fuck up and quit running their mouths about shit that's none of their business.
"Realistic" is another matter, and mostly a matter of each person's expectations for the relationship. If it's mere companionship, any age will do. If you intend to have kids, then someone near one's own age is probably a better choice, simply to increase the likelihood that both parents will be around to care for kids.
My wife before she met me was dating a guy 20 years older than her but he was very well off (executive).
Normally I think: half you age plus 7: works out pretty well in either direction. But even that is not a hard and fast rule, just the socially acceptable one. As long as the requisite emotional maturity is there than age shouldn't matter too much.
Once I started approaching my 40s, I was only interested in dating women who were in a pretty settled time in their lives -- that is, early to mid-30s and up. As I've gotten older, that hasn't changed -- I'm not interested in dating a party girl, a girl who is still figuring life out, a girl who is going back to school, a girl who is still figuring out whether she wants kids, a girl who is so unsettled that she might "re-discover" herself and decide she needs to take her life in a different direction, etc. As a practical matter, that means women mid-30s and up, although it's the place they are in their lives that matters most, so there are younger women here and there who meet that.
That, of course, is for serious, come-meet-my-family dating. For fun dating, arrangement-type situations, friends-with-benefits, etc., any age will do!
For SB relationships, which are temporary be definition, *any* age difference is fine. For a spouse, my opinion is that more than a decade is pushing it. I just can't imagine these May-December relationships, in their final days, where a women a nursing her husband in declining health. That would be awful.
IMO most women are often more mature & settled down than most guys & why I think many women feel comfortable, and may prefer, a bit older guy (but it's def an individual thing).
For me personally, for a serious relationship I prefer to date someone at most 10 yrs younger than me - more often than not we will have more in common than if the age difference was greater
I think that as both parties get older, the "allowable" age difference increases, since maturity is gained on a curve. Personally, I wouldn't look for a long term relationship with anyone less than 25. For me, I would also have to deal with my 33 & 30 yo daughters, so practically, I'd be looking at a 40ish (25 year difference) woman at the outside.
"I think that as both parties get older, the "allowable" age difference increases"
Exactly. Me being 26, 21 is the youngest I'll go right now, so that's a five year difference. If I get older and I'm 40, I think it's perfectly normal to date someone who is 30, so that would be a ten year difference. Mainly it depends where both parties are in life.
That half the man's age + seven seems a little "unrealistic" although it probably what guy's *wish* they could land. No more than 10y's sounds a little more realistic, although there, undoubtedly, many exceptions.
Age is just a number. There is no magic formula. I am in my 40's and date girls in their 20's, but so what. I am fortunate enough to look like I am 10 years younger and we are mutually attracted to each other so it is no big deal.
Going by the relationships I have seen between others, I would say max 30-40 years. Any more than that and it could start being a little awkward, even though it still might be able to work.
Not being old enough myself for that to apply with a partner who is over 18, the max for me has been quite a bit less.
Dougster: It's probably on unrealistic is you don't take care of yourself physically or you are broke.
For Larry, this works out to 26/2+7=19, which isn't too far off from his preferred lower limit of 21, with 19 being the societal acceptable lower bound (in one person's opinion).
For me, this works out to 38/2+7=26, which is only a 12 year difference.
In my 30s I dated a woman 10 years younger and we constantly had issues about differing perspectives, different music, even different educations (both from first rate universities with several degrees in similar fields). I figured that it was simply because the age difference was simply too much! I was wrong.
Then, in my mid 50s, I ended up in a relationship with a woman in her late 20s. We agreed on so much, sports, sex, travel, music, art - even the stuff we disagreed about, was fun to discuss. The 26 year difference in our ages simply made some things more fun. She got her dream job designing multifamily buildings in Australia, and we broke up without animosity so she could go without strings or problems. We are both in different relationships now, but we stay in touch.
In my experience, age is a factor in relationships, but it depends upon the individuals, their worldview, and their maturity, whether that factor is a positive or a negative.
For just sex I do any woman 18yrs or up but for a real relationship I go 30yrs old and up I'm 40 FYI. I find people generally don't become who they are until after their 30th birthday.
Papi, half your age plus 7 makes sense. As you get older approaching 60 do you really think a woman in her 30s(37) will be interested unless it's a sugar relationship? For me though 20 isn't that far fetched, even though I prefer them at least a few years older now.
She has to be 18 or older. Generally speaking 21 or older. I never thought of an age requirement. Whatever floats your boat is ok with me. I've surprised people when I told them how old I was so I figure I may look 5 to 10 years younger. I routinely got asked for proof of age at bars until my late 30's. Someone at a grocery store asked for ID to buy beer just last year. I thought that was overdoing it.
Age is irrelevant to me. It's more about maturity and outlook on life, and I've met some 18 yo's who were way more mature than their 35+ yo co-workers.
There is a story that Hugh Hefner met a new girl and asked her to go out. She replied, Oh Mr. Hefner I've never dated anyone over 25. Hefner paused for a minute, and then said, "Neither have I!"
From a man's view, no more than your age plus 7. Lower limit is only set by your level of legal risk you take with a <18 year old. Personality, talk ability, laughing, giggling, looking in each others eyes, compatible opinions on drug use, education levels, income levels, weight/height, DFK/sex, are much more important than age. Connecting with much younger women isn't hard if you have male friends much younger than you.
"Age is just a number. There is no magic formula. I am in my 40's and date girls in their 20's, but so what. I am fortunate enough to look like I am 10 years younger and we are mutually attracted to each other so it is no big deal.
40 comments
"Realistic" is another matter, and mostly a matter of each person's expectations for the relationship. If it's mere companionship, any age will do. If you intend to have kids, then someone near one's own age is probably a better choice, simply to increase the likelihood that both parents will be around to care for kids.
Normally I think: half you age plus 7: works out pretty well in either direction. But even that is not a hard and fast rule, just the socially acceptable one. As long as the requisite emotional maturity is there than age shouldn't matter too much.
That, of course, is for serious, come-meet-my-family dating. For fun dating, arrangement-type situations, friends-with-benefits, etc., any age will do!
For me personally, for a serious relationship I prefer to date someone at most 10 yrs younger than me - more often than not we will have more in common than if the age difference was greater
Exactly. Me being 26, 21 is the youngest I'll go right now, so that's a five year difference. If I get older and I'm 40, I think it's perfectly normal to date someone who is 30, so that would be a ten year difference. Mainly it depends where both parties are in life.
Not being old enough myself for that to apply with a partner who is over 18, the max for me has been quite a bit less.
For Larry, this works out to 26/2+7=19, which isn't too far off from his preferred lower limit of 21, with 19 being the societal acceptable lower bound (in one person's opinion).
For me, this works out to 38/2+7=26, which is only a 12 year difference.
Then, in my mid 50s, I ended up in a relationship with a woman in her late 20s. We agreed on so much, sports, sex, travel, music, art - even the stuff we disagreed about, was fun to discuss. The 26 year difference in our ages simply made some things more fun. She got her dream job designing multifamily buildings in Australia, and we broke up without animosity so she could go without strings or problems. We are both in different relationships now, but we stay in touch.
In my experience, age is a factor in relationships, but it depends upon the individuals, their worldview, and their maturity, whether that factor is a positive or a negative.
Phoenix, I'm curious as to why you are curious.
@Phoenix
49 minus your age.
"Age is just a number. There is no magic formula. I am in my 40's and date girls in their 20's, but so what. I am fortunate enough to look like I am 10 years younger and we are mutually attracted to each other so it is no big deal.
she needs to be legal, he needs to be able
SJG