Paper Trails To You...

avatar for Imamutt
Imamutt
Would you ever even think about getting something in your name for a dancer even if she says she has money to pay for it? Cash Card, Rental Car, Apartment, etc.? Especially if excuses to not have things in her name range from invalid ID, warrants, psycho ex tracking her? Call me paranoid, Shailynn...

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avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
8 years ago
Hell No.
avatar for K
K
8 years ago
Don't put anything in your name for anyone else. Stripper or not. If you want to pay for something, give her cash or pay it directly with cash. it isn't about a paper trail. the damage to your credit or other legal entanglements could ruin you.
avatar for MrDeuce
MrDeuce
8 years ago
No chance in hell.
avatar for ime
ime
8 years ago
Nope
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
I am careful about such things, assuming responsibility for other people. Maybe this is one of the reasons I found marriage so disagreeable too.

SJG
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
My wife, even before we were married, would use such situations to justify rage.

Anyway, no, I would not let things be put in my name, unless I have control of them, like a hotel room or a renta car, or any financing.

SJG
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
But we talked before about membership strip clubs. I don't mind if the club records my id.

SJG
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
8 years ago
No way
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
8 years ago
I would not ever sign for anything that would leave me legally responsible for anything she does. Hotel room, car rental, etc... No way do I want to have my name on a hotel room that she could potentially trash.

If what you are asking is "paper trail", that was big for me when I was married, but a don't care now. I've had strippers where I would put cash directly into their checking accounts, send cash via venmo, etc. Police could track me down via a subpoena with those methods, but a regular person could not
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
8 years ago
No. Cash only.
avatar for jaredlucas
jaredlucas
8 years ago
cash is king, hand delivered. No paper trails is the best way to go
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
^^^^^^ Excellent point Subraman, difference between paper trail and financial liability. And yes, this does get into the same territory as often become problematic in marriage.

I don't care about paper trails. But I won't allow financial liability.

Problems with ex-wife started when she wanted me to co-sign for a car loan. This pissed me off at several levels. 1. The way I grew up, you don't do that. 2. I knew the idea was coming from the car dealer, so she was allowing outside people to cause problems. 3. She was buying the car with another girl, a recipe for problems. 4. She was what I considered reckless and irresponsible in her own dealings already.

Finally I figured out how to solve the problem. I had zero experience giving women money, and the idea was repulsive to me. But rather than cosign, I opted for a limited loss scenario. I gave her a check for a $1000 zero interest loan, with a pay back schedule. Of course she never paid. But the idea was to sweeten the down payment. Usually if people are handing you their cash, they are taking out the loan in good faith. This made her happy, and actually I think the car dealer had already backed down.

But I can also see her POV now, she was working a job, paying her rent, and fucking me, to show me that she was wife material. So she felt that she was entitled to what she was insisting on. Funny how things between women and men can be like that.

Not that she was that marriage crazy, but as she was fucking me, submitting to social pressure was inevitable.

But I feel that she was always acting like a 2yo. And I've even commented about this to people who had their 2yo's with them.

She was fighting all the time about nothing, and she took zero responsibility for her own role in situations, or in making our lives together impossible.

Being married to her, I did often get cut in on some of the girl talk going around. Her friends were just like her, making mountains of drama, often very destructively, just because they wanted the guy to make a visible show of accepting responsibility for something.

SJG
avatar for two4fun1225
two4fun1225
8 years ago
No chance in hell. I've been asked by more than one dancer to help her get a rental car because she doesn't have a credit card and others that wanted me to cosign for them. I told them all no but the rental ones i told them i would give them a ride but they declined just as i thought they would
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
8 years ago
I'll sign over a box of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes to them, but that's it.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
My ex wife, as far as her sex life, was the diametric opposite of a stripper. But reading so many similar accounts of stripper relations, I believe now that my ex-wife did somehow have some related type of screwyness. It isn't just expecting to be paid for, it was a lack of understanding of issues of responsibility and consequences. Lots of fights with her over such stuff. And she is still like that.

She would not understand that our society has rules and so you have to adjust your actions accordingly, and that you can't make such stuff into relational drama.

And even our divorce, as I see it I was a hostage who needed to be rescued. It was that bad.

SJG

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avatar for rockie
rockie
8 years ago
Absolutely not! I have had my license scanned a few times (out of state), but that's as close to anyone in the club having actually access to my personal info. I don't use a credit card and I always use a first name that is close to my actual first name so as not to truly define who I am. Paranoid - yes, but I've seen enough to be comfortable with my paranoia.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
I would never use a credit card in a strip club, never even bring it into the club. But scanning my id is okay, especially if that means it is a members only club. But about what I think the OP meant, incurring liability by renting things in my own name that I will not have control over, never.

SJG

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avatar for shailynn
shailynn
8 years ago
Imamutt - good topic and there's nothing wrong with being a little extra paranoid.

As everyone has said "cash is king" but you PLs gotta realize there are times when you can't always use cash.

Example - I had a stripper who desperately needed a bill paid and asked me to help her out. We had a relationship where I was more than happy to help but how to go about it when she lived 2 time zones away?

I could have paid with credit card or direct deposit - but instead bought a money order with cash and overnights it. No paper trail from me.

I once had a stripper who wanted to set up her camming deposits to go into my account instead of hers. She never said why and I didn't ask, but I'm guessing it he something to do with child support. Anyway that was one wish I couldn't grant. I couldn't figure out how to work around that without leaving a paper trail.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
The OP said paper trails, but I think the real issue is liabilities, not traceability. So sending money is fine.

But yeah, money in your bank account, and from such a source as camming, that would be a real problem!!

Not just the paper trail, but it could be a tax issue. And then if ever pressed to explain what you were doing and why, a big negative.

SJG
avatar for TravelingGolfer
TravelingGolfer
8 years ago
No. Negative. Not a chance.
avatar for Tiburon
Tiburon
8 years ago
I'll put my name a Scooby snack; maybe two. Hell I put a McDonald's happy meal in my name for her. Anything else and she can get a slaptism
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
8 years ago
-->"The OP said paper trails, but I think the real issue is liabilities, not traceability."

Definitely agree for myself, sjg. For married guys, traceability might be a real issue, though.

-->"Not just the paper trail, but it could be a tax issue. And then if ever pressed to explain what you were doing and why, a big negative."

On top of that, in CA where we've passed an impossibly vague law where pimping has been broadly redefined to match almost anyone who receives money from a sex worker unless it's in exchange for a service, there might be some real risks.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
" For married guys, traceability might be a real issue" YES. Glad that does not apply to me anymore!

"in CA where we've passed an impossibly vague law where pimping has been broadly redefined to match almost anyone who receives money from a sex worker unless it's in exchange for a service"

Yipes. Fed Trafficking Victims Protection Act is just that vague. Drive a girl to work, that could do it. AMP girl wanted me to drive her to S.F. That law is not why I declined, but I still do not like that law.

But might you mean the CASE Act, 80% approval by the voters, and extremely vague?

Or is there even more?

Our OP meant open ended liability, and stuff like that was always a problem with my ex-wife before we were married. After we were married it did not matter, as I was always liable anyway. Now divorced, I am finally becoming whole again. Sad saga really.

SJG
avatar for Imamutt
Imamutt
8 years ago
Yes, to protect family from any kind of embarrassment, and for liability reasons, as well. Common sense rather than paranoia, I think,
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
8 years ago
Like Sabra, I avoid anything that I can see even the slightest element of liability with zero flexibility. I'm pretty up front with them about that being the case too. Most kinda laugh it off. I have done things that could link me to strippers and will likely do so again. For instance, I've paid a few MetroPCS bills and made online transfers. Even txt'ing and calling with google voice leaves a trail. My participation in this website does too. I don't flaunt it, but I really don't go too out of the way to hide my fondness for strippers.
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
8 years ago
An old ATF begged me to put her on my phone plan. Her BF even researched phones and told me which one to get.

How fucking stupid did she think I was ?
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
8 years ago
After about a month of no contact, I had an ex-CF text out of the blue asking if I would co-sign for a car. I responded that I might do that if we were married. She didn't propose.

The next month, she said that she had suffered an unspecified terrible injury that meant she couldn't dance and asked me to Western Union some cash across town. It wasn't about the trail in either case, just situations that predictably weren't going to end well.

I really do have a hard time seeing doing any of this kind of thing for someone you're not either related to or otherwise have a very solid relationship with, though.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
8 years ago
SJG - quit wasting bandwidth!!!!!
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
8 years ago
Shailynn: the money order thing makes total sense.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
8 years ago
I realize I'm an early adopter by tuscl standards, and light years ahead of you dinosaurs ... but Venmo has come in very handy with my ATATF. If leaving a auditable paper trail is a problem for you, then it's not an option. But if the only thing you're worried about is liability, then Venmo'ing money is an incredibly easy and convenient way to do things.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
https://venmo.com/

There are different levels of secrecy. If there were a reason, LE could get past most of these kinds of protections. But for most situations, this would be sufficient protection. But if you want to know the girl, then you want her to see that you want to know her.

SJG

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