The ATF tries to motivate me further by telling me about offers she's been getting. We've had this conversation before. I get offers too. If I am disposable to her, why should I make such a mistake as providing a car? Especially when she's cold and distant rather than sweet and loving... Then I realize that jab had the opposite effect than what she intended. For the first time, since we met, I'm not excited to see her any time soon.
If you buy a stripper a car, she will wave to you as she drives away with her boyfriend.
You like this dancer, but she does not like you. She's trying to manipulate you by telling you about your competition. You should show her her competition by spending your time and money with other dancers.
There are really only two reasons I can think of for a girl to be talking about other guys this way. One would be to talk glowingly about other guys in an effort to get you to back off, the other would be to try to get you to compete with the other guys by giving her more money, etc, than they do.
It can work out having two favorites at a club who know about each other and as a result, at least don't take you for granted, and may even compete for you. I'm so picky that this rarely happens to me, though. The pickiness is based at least 50% on personality/character, so if one starts treating me poorly (over counting dances, talking about other guys, etc), others have an easy time catching up to her, making it easier for me to move on.
I know it's hard to let her go, but this one seems like a real piece of work. It appears she gets pleasure in torturing you with guilt by telling you of how she could have better prospects with you out of the way, so you better "step it up" if you still want to be on the team.
I gotta admit, I've never had a stripper so brazen as to ask me to buy them something like a car, how much are you spending on this girl a month? I forgot, have you he sex with her? (I am thinking you've said "yes" to that before but can't remember).
The worst I have gotten was a request to cosign on a car from one who I hadn't seen in a couple of months. I had previously set her name in my phone with the prefix Flaky, so it was a pretty obvious decision.
I had a co-worker once, though, who was 21 and lost his virginity to a much older woman he had met at a club. He bought her a new little economy car, and she tried to get him to trade cars for the nicer one his parents had bought him for graduation - that he would polish every day because it was his pride and joy.
Toward the end of the relationship, he would only see her to deliver his paycheck - she had told him she was a witch, and he was convinced that when his dad had gotten sick it was because she had put a spell on him. At one point, he told her that he didn't have any more money and asked if she wanted him to rob a bank. Her response: Yes.
"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference"
Many a seasoned stripper will try to manipulate custies (its what they do), for me personally I have found that just playing dumb like I'm not noticing their hustle works best - I let them play their little games but still do what I want & what's best for me - giving into their shit is no-bueno of course, but trying to confront them or "get them to change" the way they treat us IMO is a futile excercise - a leopard never changes its spots, you just gotta learn how to handle a leopard & know how they behave & what its nature is.
Simply behaving as someone who has self-respect is the way to go. If you're trying to negotiate with her about about how she should treat you, you have conceded defeat and are negotiating the terms of your surrender. She will probably keep forgetting her terms under any agreement, too.
The second I no longer want to see a dancer anymore, it's hasta la vista baby. This is supposed to be entertainment. Once drama starts fucking with that, I hit the eject button.
I always wonder about dudes of a certain age who still let their heads get fucked up by baby strippers. Do they feel that they missed out in life? Are they just unable to accept that they are getting old now? Are they just so lonely that it overrides their most basic common sense? Do they have so little self respect that they become absurdly grateful that a particular hot girl will be nice to them and suck their dicks?
Maybe I will never understand this or maybe I am just not old enough to have regressed to a point where I am so emotionally vulnerable. Idk and I hope that I never find out.
Go to Family Dollar and buy her a Hot Wheels, make her know her new 'car' is her kiss off gift and you're spinning your wheels on a more appreciative model.
FWIW, I remember back before I was married. I felt that beyond a point a girl was trying to tell me that the expiration date was being reached. I asked my hair dresser, do girls impose a time limit?
I think from the dancer POV with a regular, the outcome is usually that the money starts dropping off while the demands for attention increase. So, unless it's someone she wants to date, that would be the best-before date. It could still work to do dances now and then, but wouldn't stay at the level of chat for two hours before 30 minutes of dances if the dance counts drop.
From my perspective, a customer/dancer relationship can start feeling stale when it plateaus. Sometimes just taking a break from her for a while can make it fun again, and she might even make more of an effort after the break to re-establish regular status.
Other times, it feels more like she was initially nice to set a hook, then starts negging, pulling back and asking for stuff like a car to see if it took.
Simply behaving as someone who has self-respect is the way to go. If you're trying to negotiate with her about about how she should treat you, you have conceded defeat and are negotiating the terms of your surrender. She will probably keep forgetting her terms under any agreement, too.
24 comments
You like this dancer, but she does not like you. She's trying to manipulate you by telling you about your competition. You should show her her competition by spending your time and money with other dancers.
There are really only two reasons I can think of for a girl to be talking about other guys this way. One would be to talk glowingly about other guys in an effort to get you to back off, the other would be to try to get you to compete with the other guys by giving her more money, etc, than they do.
It can work out having two favorites at a club who know about each other and as a result, at least don't take you for granted, and may even compete for you. I'm so picky that this rarely happens to me, though. The pickiness is based at least 50% on personality/character, so if one starts treating me poorly (over counting dances, talking about other guys, etc), others have an easy time catching up to her, making it easier for me to move on.
I know it's hard to let her go, but this one seems like a real piece of work. It appears she gets pleasure in torturing you with guilt by telling you of how she could have better prospects with you out of the way, so you better "step it up" if you still want to be on the team.
I gotta admit, I've never had a stripper so brazen as to ask me to buy them something like a car, how much are you spending on this girl a month? I forgot, have you he sex with her? (I am thinking you've said "yes" to that before but can't remember).
I had a co-worker once, though, who was 21 and lost his virginity to a much older woman he had met at a club. He bought her a new little economy car, and she tried to get him to trade cars for the nicer one his parents had bought him for graduation - that he would polish every day because it was his pride and joy.
Toward the end of the relationship, he would only see her to deliver his paycheck - she had told him she was a witch, and he was convinced that when his dad had gotten sick it was because she had put a spell on him. At one point, he told her that he didn't have any more money and asked if she wanted him to rob a bank. Her response: Yes.
True story.
Many a seasoned stripper will try to manipulate custies (its what they do), for me personally I have found that just playing dumb like I'm not noticing their hustle works best - I let them play their little games but still do what I want & what's best for me - giving into their shit is no-bueno of course, but trying to confront them or "get them to change" the way they treat us IMO is a futile excercise - a leopard never changes its spots, you just gotta learn how to handle a leopard & know how they behave & what its nature is.
Simply behaving as someone who has self-respect is the way to go. If you're trying to negotiate with her about about how she should treat you, you have conceded defeat and are negotiating the terms of your surrender. She will probably keep forgetting her terms under any agreement, too.
I always wonder about dudes of a certain age who still let their heads get fucked up by baby strippers. Do they feel that they missed out in life? Are they just unable to accept that they are getting old now? Are they just so lonely that it overrides their most basic common sense? Do they have so little self respect that they become absurdly grateful that a particular hot girl will be nice to them and suck their dicks?
Maybe I will never understand this or maybe I am just not old enough to have regressed to a point where I am so emotionally vulnerable. Idk and I hope that I never find out.
:)
Some guys want drama in their life. Otherwise whats the point of being alive? Do the same shit everyday till you die?
@Papi_Chulo
I agree. A stripper probably earns more than a PL, they never need saving.
If that is not in the cards you just have to shine her on.
She knows how things have been between you and she.
Most guys cannot afford an exclusive mistress. If they were to have that she would be a wife.
Some other arrangement has to be worked out. Likely need to move on to another girls.
SJG
Robin Trower 1980
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnEbeanI…
Oh well, we all do what we do and live and learn.
SJG
"...the girl was trying to tell me that the expiration date was being reached. ... "
Long term I don't think conventional relationships or P4P really provide much of an answer.
SJG
Find another.
From my perspective, a customer/dancer relationship can start feeling stale when it plateaus. Sometimes just taking a break from her for a while can make it fun again, and she might even make more of an effort after the break to re-establish regular status.
Other times, it feels more like she was initially nice to set a hook, then starts negging, pulling back and asking for stuff like a car to see if it took.
Simply behaving as someone who has self-respect is the way to go. If you're trying to negotiate with her about about how she should treat you, you have conceded defeat and are negotiating the terms of your surrender. She will probably keep forgetting her terms under any agreement, too.