Am I being taken for a sap and used? What should I do?
Bandit5160
South Carolina
I met a very cute stripper with nice large tits about a month ago. I go see her once, sometimes twice a week. I always spend about $60-$100 per visit on her on private dances and she lets me do pretty much whatever I want to with her tits. We also talk and drink for a while...I'd say she's my ATF now. A couple of weeks ago we became Facebook friends. I'd like a relationship with this girl, but she always calls me her "friend" so I haven't really pursued it. Today, out of nowhere, she Facebook messages me "call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx". I get really excited. But when I call, she wants to "borrow" $60 for gas because her dad just got put in the hospital for heart trouble in another state and she don't have enough to get to him right now. I told her I'd have to see, that I'd call her back. Now I'd feel really bad if I say no and she's telling the whole truth and her dad dies without her being able to get over there and see him. But I also wonder if perhaps I'm just being taken for a sucker. I'd hate to be that too. She wants me to wire her the money and she actually gave me her address...so she does really trust me...at least that's something. Should I give up my cash? It's not the amount that bothers me- I can afford to part with $60- it's the principal of the situation that has me concerned.
49 comments
Why not just have her earn it with services?
What else can one say?
If you start sending your girl money outside, then it is even worse.
If you want a girl friend, ask her out on a civilian date, where nothing is agreed to up front, and see what happens. Otherwise her job is to suck money out of you. So if you can afford that and don't mind, okay.
SJG
Yes your being used. Now she knows exactly how much you will give for so very little. Anyway you seem like a noob, and a young one at that so I won't be too hard on you. But I've never had a stripper ever think she could get gas money from me.
Let's see if she comes through on the discount dances. My guess is she'll make you feel bad for wanting to get a discount dance when the time comes
No need to wonder - I can almost 100% guarantee she is lying thru her ass and can almost 100% guarantee she will have other "emergencies" in the future that you being the great-guy that you are she will hit-up for - dude - her actions are 100% classic SS.
So if you want a GF, invite her out to dinner. Otherwise she will continue to be your OTC stripper, always extracting money from you.
You deal with women in these modes and you get a better ability to understand them.
If you want an occasional mistress, then make that clear, that you want to be able to see her sometimes and fuck her and pay her, but otherwise no.
She is taking advantage of the ambiguity you have set up. She might be intentionally testing you to see what you do.
SJG
Robin Trower, live
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmoMb0gN…
Bingo - she expertly made you out as an easy mark/sap and she's gonna squeeze w/e she can out of you thru lies and string-a-longs.
Sending her some money should not be that big of a deal. But better you take her out on a civilian date, or just pay her for an outside sex session. She needs to see what you are trying to do and what you want the rules to be.
If she is only to be someone you see inside the strip club, then there is really no reason to be communicating with her outside of the club.
SJG
Okay, NOW HERE IS WHY THE ABOVE APPLIES TO ALMOST EVERYONE, BUT NOT TO YOU:
--> " I'd like a relationship with this girl, but she always calls me her "friend" so I haven't really pursued it. "
Ah, you're a PL in love. That changes everything -- get out now, or get hurt far worse down the line.
A family medical emergency (dad, child, etc) is a CLASSSIC rob move, actually does not get any more elementary than that when it comes to classic ROB moves.
We won't really know until we see if she actually gives you a discount. Though even if that happens I wouldn't be surprised if her sister has a "car wreck" next month.
Usually the rule about giving people money is, are they telling the truth. There is only one way to find out, ask her more questions about the situation, and then send her at least some money.
But if you don't want her to be your professional money extractor, then you have to stop thinking of her as someone who earns money from you. Money you give her must always be a gift.
If you want her to be your Pay 4 Play, then you need to set up the rules for how it is to work.
SJG
That's like giving a serial killer the key to your gun-cabinet - only bad things can happen.
You just sound lonely, desperate, and naïve about SCs - a stripper is not the kind of woman you want a relationship with and strip-clubs are about the last place to find love - you are only asking for trouble and asking to get severely burned.
I used to frequent a club that had a few interesting possibilities, one of which was a tall, blonde, ex-cheerleader type who was really cool to talk to and fun to do dances with. Everything was kept in the club until one night she stuck her tongue down my throat and then told me that she'd finally broken up with her boyfriend and that was why she felt she could do that. Then she invited me to a party about 20 miles away and convinced me to go with her. Another girl was driving. We stopped at a gas station shortly after we left the club and girl #1 asked me for gas money. Made me feel like a sucker, so I started to get out of the car. That's when she said, "do you know how many guys would give their left nut to go out with me? Blah, blah. That was all I needed to hear and I walked back to the club. I think the deal was that she was going to use me to make her "ex" jealous as he was going to be there. Fuck that. Most of these girls have an agenda.
Good story and yes they all mostly have an agenda that involves getting money or furthering their aims by any way possible!
A relationship is a mistake. If you can work fwb that's a bonus. But if you want to see her otc for sex, work on negotiating a price and length of time for that price. Otherwise just be happy feeling her up itc.
Stop any further contact.
I texted her back laying out my logistical situation in total truthfulness. And came up with a legitimate excuse for any future requests for cash. It won't work for many of you but actually is a realistic situation for me and my work.
Bottom line though, I'll part with cash only in person, not electronically, for a girl.
Your job is to know your shit (and TUSCL is the best place to start) so you don't get played but can still play - the reality is that a girl that allows strangers she just met to grope her is not gonna be Ms Congeniality - as the saying goes "don't hate the player hate the game".
As I often post - the 2 golden rules of SCing are:
1) Don't fall in-love with a stripper
2) Don't forget rule #1
At least do the SC thing for a while and participate on this board b/f you consider getting involved w/ a dance in any way - and even then it can be risky to do so unless you know your shit.
And responses are funny too - like in a ticket dismissal class.
I'm taking notes. Mental notes.
Bandit let us know if the discount was honored. Post your experience right here in month.
If it feels like you're being played, you probably are.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
Again, is she telling the truth or not. If you want to know her you probably should give her the benefit of the doubt.
But if you want to know her you also have to break the link between sex and money. So if you want to know her, give her the money and then as soon as she is back take her out and bed her.
SJG
SJG