I met a very cute stripper with nice large tits about a month ago. I go see her once, sometimes twice a week. I always spend about $60-$100 per visit on her on private dances and she lets me do pretty much whatever I want to with her tits. We also talk and drink for a while...I'd say she's my ATF now. A couple of weeks ago we became Facebook friends. I'd like a relationship with this girl, but she always calls me her "friend" so I haven't really pursued it. Today, out of nowhere, she Facebook messages me "call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx". I get really excited. But when I call, she wants to "borrow" $60 for gas because her dad just got put in the hospital for heart trouble in another state and she don't have enough to get to him right now. I told her I'd have to see, that I'd call her back. Now I'd feel really bad if I say no and she's telling the whole truth and her dad dies without her being able to get over there and see him. But I also wonder if perhaps I'm just being taken for a sucker. I'd hate to be that too. She wants me to wire her the money and she actually gave me her address...so she does really trust me...at least that's something. Should I give up my cash? It's not the amount that bothers me- I can afford to part with $60- it's the principal of the situation that has me concerned.
i am a man of principal as well and i do think youre being taken for a sap. since when do you need $60 in gas money? $30 maybe but how far away is the hospital that she needs $60?
You have to be at least 18yo before you are allowed to go into a strip club. If then you do walk in, you get the money sucked out of your wallet by experts.
What else can one say?
If you start sending your girl money outside, then it is even worse.
If you want a girl friend, ask her out on a civilian date, where nothing is agreed to up front, and see what happens. Otherwise her job is to suck money out of you. So if you can afford that and don't mind, okay.
I called her and I am going to arrange for her to get the money. She's agreed that she's going to take the $60 off of a 30 minute private VIP session, so I think she's on the level.
Greenville isn't too far from Follies. You really really need to make a trip there.
Yes your being used. Now she knows exactly how much you will give for so very little. Anyway you seem like a noob, and a young one at that so I won't be too hard on you. But I've never had a stripper ever think she could get gas money from me.
Let's see if she comes through on the discount dances. My guess is she'll make you feel bad for wanting to get a discount dance when the time comes
"... I also wonder if perhaps I'm just being taken for a sucker ..."
No need to wonder - I can almost 100% guarantee she is lying thru her ass and can almost 100% guarantee she will have other "emergencies" in the future that you being the great-guy that you are she will hit-up for - dude - her actions are 100% classic SS.
Bandit, If you want to be real nice to her, then send her some money. But if you want her to stop treating you like her client and ATM machine, then you have to stop treating her like someone who sells sexual services.
So if you want a GF, invite her out to dinner. Otherwise she will continue to be your OTC stripper, always extracting money from you.
You deal with women in these modes and you get a better ability to understand them.
If you want an occasional mistress, then make that clear, that you want to be able to see her sometimes and fuck her and pay her, but otherwise no.
She is taking advantage of the ambiguity you have set up. She might be intentionally testing you to see what you do.
Yes it's most likely lies. But as long as the amount is relatively small, and if she agrees it's just an advance towards your next usually visit itc, I don't think it's a big deal. However, I would make it clear nicely that you're not a bank and you don't want to have a lender/borrower relationship with her. If the requests become frequent, the amount gets larger, or she doesn't follow through on the promise to apply it to the next club visit, then dump her.
Bandit, I feel that the problem is that you have not decided what you want.
Sending her some money should not be that big of a deal. But better you take her out on a civilian date, or just pay her for an outside sex session. She needs to see what you are trying to do and what you want the rules to be.
If she is only to be someone you see inside the strip club, then there is really no reason to be communicating with her outside of the club.
It's the first of the month, right? She probably was a few bucks short on her rent, but not now I guess. Anyways, yeah, you're most certainly being used. Now that you've let her know you're susceptible to SS (60 bucks was probably a small enough amount for her to test you) and are willing to give her money that she has not yet earned, I'm sure the floods gates to non-stop bullshit from her have opened for good.
AGree somewhat with JS69. There's very little chance she's pegged you for a sucker and this is her first trial balloon in manipulating you. On the other hand, $60 isn't very much (at least for ME it's not -- if it is for you, then ignore everything from here on out), and you were smart enough to arrange for an ITC credit... so even if she doesn't come through with the credit, what the hell, it's only $60. And if she DOES come through, hey, that's great. If you want to see her OTC, this might be the perfect time to get her a little buzzed next time you're in the club, and then tell her if she needs money quickly, you'd be totally open to seeing her outside the club.
Okay, NOW HERE IS WHY THE ABOVE APPLIES TO ALMOST EVERYONE, BUT NOT TO YOU:
--> " I'd like a relationship with this girl, but she always calls me her "friend" so I haven't really pursued it. "
Ah, you're a PL in love. That changes everything -- get out now, or get hurt far worse down the line.
OP - strip clubs are bizarro world - not the real world - in strip-club bizarro world being a nice-guy often just leads to many a dancer bleeding him dry b/f the sap ever knows what hit him.
A family medical emergency (dad, child, etc) is a CLASSSIC rob move, actually does not get any more elementary than that when it comes to classic ROB moves.
We won't really know until we see if she actually gives you a discount. Though even if that happens I wouldn't be surprised if her sister has a "car wreck" next month.
If this girl is your GF, she does not need to earn money from you, and certainly not by sex.
Usually the rule about giving people money is, are they telling the truth. There is only one way to find out, ask her more questions about the situation, and then send her at least some money.
But if you don't want her to be your professional money extractor, then you have to stop thinking of her as someone who earns money from you. Money you give her must always be a gift.
If you want her to be your Pay 4 Play, then you need to set up the rules for how it is to work.
That's like giving a serial killer the key to your gun-cabinet - only bad things can happen.
You just sound lonely, desperate, and naïve about SCs - a stripper is not the kind of woman you want a relationship with and strip-clubs are about the last place to find love - you are only asking for trouble and asking to get severely burned.
I used to frequent a club that had a few interesting possibilities, one of which was a tall, blonde, ex-cheerleader type who was really cool to talk to and fun to do dances with. Everything was kept in the club until one night she stuck her tongue down my throat and then told me that she'd finally broken up with her boyfriend and that was why she felt she could do that. Then she invited me to a party about 20 miles away and convinced me to go with her. Another girl was driving. We stopped at a gas station shortly after we left the club and girl #1 asked me for gas money. Made me feel like a sucker, so I started to get out of the car. That's when she said, "do you know how many guys would give their left nut to go out with me? Blah, blah. That was all I needed to hear and I walked back to the club. I think the deal was that she was going to use me to make her "ex" jealous as he was going to be there. Fuck that. Most of these girls have an agenda.
I would agree there is an agenda. Make sure she follows through on the discount VIP.
A relationship is a mistake. If you can work fwb that's a bonus. But if you want to see her otc for sex, work on negotiating a price and length of time for that price. Otherwise just be happy feeling her up itc.
I had a girl text me a couple of years ago asking for money. I did not even have to come up with an excuse. I was literally at the end of phone service range in a very rural area of a western state. Not a single bank anywhere within 80-100 miles and I was on my way further away from any sort of civilization for the next 2 days.
I texted her back laying out my logistical situation in total truthfulness. And came up with a legitimate excuse for any future requests for cash. It won't work for many of you but actually is a realistic situation for me and my work.
Bottom line though, I'll part with cash only in person, not electronically, for a girl.
Now that you've given her $60 for gas, you can expect a request for $6000 for her dad's operation. Wouldn't you feel bad if you refused and her dad died?
Someone asked my age? I am 23 years old and she just had her 22nd birthday last month. I have decided that, much as I like this girl, either I get my discount on my next visit or I never deal with her again...I am a nice guy, but she will not play me. And if she is lying to me, karma is a bitch and she will come down hard on those who make up stories about their loved ones being sick/injured. If she needed rent money, just say so...
She's SOL if she asks me for $6000. I don't have that kind of scratch. Besides, I'd ask her what happened to his Obamacare?! Sadly, I'm probably already paying for his operation under that disaster.
Well now it's all starting to make sense. Do yourself a favor go for younger chicks. She 10 years ahead of you as far a mental maturity and light years in game playing. 23, start with 19, if that's too much go to 18
Bandit - unfortunately you need a reality-check - if you get very upset at lying dancers and don't want to deal w/ them, then you are better off not stepping foot inside a strip-club - not wanting to deal with lying-dancers is like not wanting a dog that barks - i.e. that's what they do.
Your job is to know your shit (and TUSCL is the best place to start) so you don't get played but can still play - the reality is that a girl that allows strangers she just met to grope her is not gonna be Ms Congeniality - as the saying goes "don't hate the player hate the game".
As I often post - the 2 golden rules of SCing are:
1) Don't fall in-love with a stripper
2) Don't forget rule #1
At least do the SC thing for a while and participate on this board b/f you consider getting involved w/ a dance in any way - and even then it can be risky to do so unless you know your shit.
Even tho Bandit asked the question - lots of wisdom in the responses.
And responses are funny too - like in a ticket dismissal class.
I'm taking notes. Mental notes.
Bandit let us know if the discount was honored. Post your experience right here in month.
Ok, Sparky, here's the deal. As a purveyor of services to the food and beverage industry who has smoked a number of blunts w some sistahs, and as a PL King of kings, who has been under the spell of a premier hustler, I can say with all confidence, you are being screwed. All her stories will have some credibility but will not stand up to scrutiny.
I'd say she's playing you. One, your outside contact if you will started with Facebook. Two, her first message to you I'm assuming was her asking for money. Last, like someone mentioned earlier the amount for gas. Usually if a person asks for gas its "hey can you give me some money for gas" and they take whatever they can get.
Tell her you will drive her to see her father.If she stammers... you're being played.Absent that,insist on her father's name and the hospital he's in.If she stammers... you're being played.If she does give you the information call the hospital and ask to be connected to his room.If he's not s patient...well...shrug.
As others have said, 99% you're being played. But if she follows through with the discount, then it might be ok. I think there's about a 70% chance she'll come up with some excuse why she "can't" because of some club rule or some such.
$60 is not a lot of money. If you really want to know this girl, there will probably be larger bills. She may be just testing you to see what you want.
Again, is she telling the truth or not. If you want to know her you probably should give her the benefit of the doubt.
But if you want to know her you also have to break the link between sex and money. So if you want to know her, give her the money and then as soon as she is back take her out and bed her.
I had a CF once agree to dinner after cancelling many times. An hour before we meet she texts and says she is $100 short of being able to pay her car repairs and asks me if I can give her $100 when we meet for dinner. She says she will "owe me big time". So when I pick her up for dinner I ask her what she meant by owing me big time. I think she thought I was just going to give her the money and didn't think I would ask that. She agreed to give me 5 free dances ($100 value at her club) the next time I came in. I wasn't convinced she would follow thru on the promise but I had been a regular for a year and don't think she wanted to lose my business. She didn't do 5 free all the next visit. We did 1st three dances were free the 1st visit then next visit the first 2 were free so she followed thru on her promise
I went to the club tonight. According to several other dancers, this girl has been gone for three nights now and her dad is indeed in the hospital. She was telling the truth. They also said she was grateful to me for helping her out and that I was the nicest guy she'd ever met in the club. That made me feel nice.
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Why not just have her earn it with services?
What else can one say?
If you start sending your girl money outside, then it is even worse.
If you want a girl friend, ask her out on a civilian date, where nothing is agreed to up front, and see what happens. Otherwise her job is to suck money out of you. So if you can afford that and don't mind, okay.
SJG
Yes your being used. Now she knows exactly how much you will give for so very little. Anyway you seem like a noob, and a young one at that so I won't be too hard on you. But I've never had a stripper ever think she could get gas money from me.
Let's see if she comes through on the discount dances. My guess is she'll make you feel bad for wanting to get a discount dance when the time comes
No need to wonder - I can almost 100% guarantee she is lying thru her ass and can almost 100% guarantee she will have other "emergencies" in the future that you being the great-guy that you are she will hit-up for - dude - her actions are 100% classic SS.
So if you want a GF, invite her out to dinner. Otherwise she will continue to be your OTC stripper, always extracting money from you.
You deal with women in these modes and you get a better ability to understand them.
If you want an occasional mistress, then make that clear, that you want to be able to see her sometimes and fuck her and pay her, but otherwise no.
She is taking advantage of the ambiguity you have set up. She might be intentionally testing you to see what you do.
SJG
Robin Trower, live
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmoMb0gN…
Bingo - she expertly made you out as an easy mark/sap and she's gonna squeeze w/e she can out of you thru lies and string-a-longs.
Sending her some money should not be that big of a deal. But better you take her out on a civilian date, or just pay her for an outside sex session. She needs to see what you are trying to do and what you want the rules to be.
If she is only to be someone you see inside the strip club, then there is really no reason to be communicating with her outside of the club.
SJG
Okay, NOW HERE IS WHY THE ABOVE APPLIES TO ALMOST EVERYONE, BUT NOT TO YOU:
--> " I'd like a relationship with this girl, but she always calls me her "friend" so I haven't really pursued it. "
Ah, you're a PL in love. That changes everything -- get out now, or get hurt far worse down the line.
A family medical emergency (dad, child, etc) is a CLASSSIC rob move, actually does not get any more elementary than that when it comes to classic ROB moves.
We won't really know until we see if she actually gives you a discount. Though even if that happens I wouldn't be surprised if her sister has a "car wreck" next month.
Usually the rule about giving people money is, are they telling the truth. There is only one way to find out, ask her more questions about the situation, and then send her at least some money.
But if you don't want her to be your professional money extractor, then you have to stop thinking of her as someone who earns money from you. Money you give her must always be a gift.
If you want her to be your Pay 4 Play, then you need to set up the rules for how it is to work.
SJG
That's like giving a serial killer the key to your gun-cabinet - only bad things can happen.
You just sound lonely, desperate, and naïve about SCs - a stripper is not the kind of woman you want a relationship with and strip-clubs are about the last place to find love - you are only asking for trouble and asking to get severely burned.
I used to frequent a club that had a few interesting possibilities, one of which was a tall, blonde, ex-cheerleader type who was really cool to talk to and fun to do dances with. Everything was kept in the club until one night she stuck her tongue down my throat and then told me that she'd finally broken up with her boyfriend and that was why she felt she could do that. Then she invited me to a party about 20 miles away and convinced me to go with her. Another girl was driving. We stopped at a gas station shortly after we left the club and girl #1 asked me for gas money. Made me feel like a sucker, so I started to get out of the car. That's when she said, "do you know how many guys would give their left nut to go out with me? Blah, blah. That was all I needed to hear and I walked back to the club. I think the deal was that she was going to use me to make her "ex" jealous as he was going to be there. Fuck that. Most of these girls have an agenda.
Good story and yes they all mostly have an agenda that involves getting money or furthering their aims by any way possible!
A relationship is a mistake. If you can work fwb that's a bonus. But if you want to see her otc for sex, work on negotiating a price and length of time for that price. Otherwise just be happy feeling her up itc.
Stop any further contact.
I texted her back laying out my logistical situation in total truthfulness. And came up with a legitimate excuse for any future requests for cash. It won't work for many of you but actually is a realistic situation for me and my work.
Bottom line though, I'll part with cash only in person, not electronically, for a girl.
Your job is to know your shit (and TUSCL is the best place to start) so you don't get played but can still play - the reality is that a girl that allows strangers she just met to grope her is not gonna be Ms Congeniality - as the saying goes "don't hate the player hate the game".
As I often post - the 2 golden rules of SCing are:
1) Don't fall in-love with a stripper
2) Don't forget rule #1
At least do the SC thing for a while and participate on this board b/f you consider getting involved w/ a dance in any way - and even then it can be risky to do so unless you know your shit.
And responses are funny too - like in a ticket dismissal class.
I'm taking notes. Mental notes.
Bandit let us know if the discount was honored. Post your experience right here in month.
If it feels like you're being played, you probably are.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
Again, is she telling the truth or not. If you want to know her you probably should give her the benefit of the doubt.
But if you want to know her you also have to break the link between sex and money. So if you want to know her, give her the money and then as soon as she is back take her out and bed her.
SJG
SJG