Manscaping Question

I am a hairy azz, knuckle draggin freak of nature. I had to start shaving by age 12 so I wouldn't get mistaken for a teacher at school. I quit that routine by th time I was 15 because I had to shave twice a day and one razor would barely get through one shave, since my stubble was so course. And, um, 'down there' I would trim short but got complaints it was like a porcupine, so letting it grow allowed the forest to be pushed aside. I have a lot of thick hairs halfway down the length of the shaft that causes all kinds of issues and I'd like to get rid of at least that much. Shaving isn't an option here! Do I pull them one by one?! Laser removal? Anybody else have this situation?