Anyone Having A Mid-Life Crisis?

... Been able to back off later with a better perspective? Or is it just bad to worse?

Familiar story. You are in the early stages of a Smithian epic midlife crisis in which you delude yourself into thinking you are attractive to teenage girls.

Nothing that 17 yes of intense therapy can't fix. Good luck.

I'm 70 years old and think I'm in a mid-life crisis. That should get me to 140.
Seriously, my mid-life crisis started when I turned 40 and never ended. I'm having too much fun. "Blowing through $1000 a month" just ain't gunna cut it. $1000 a night is a much better solution.

+10 to gawker

Twentyfive never had a life to begin with

I'm having a gawker sized crisis, $1K per visit.

Gamanu you are missing your "Dora the Explorer" cartoons better get back downstairs before mommy catches you on the computer

No, been there, done that. Now that I'm a "senior", I know I have a healthier perspective on the strip clubbing life. I've met and bedded many dancers, I'm friends with one of them still, many years later. I like clubbing, I always have, I always will. Ask shadowcat, he's the King. He knows the score.

"I'm 70 years old and think I'm in a mid-life crisis. That should get me to 140."

Brilliant!

" "Blowing through $1000 a month" just ain't gunna cut it. $1000 a night is a much better solution."

Double brilliant!

I buy vintage sports cars and play in a rock band to address my mid life crisis. I go to the club because I like pretty, almost nude women being nice to me.

I'm too old for a mid-life crisis.

If that's true, I've been in a mid life crisis since I was 17.

So I hit a crisis about six years ago, I was 30. Anyway I started going to strip clubs almost two years ago, my only regret is not doing it earlier. Sure as shit has helped me socially. I'm slowing down naturally because I have a lot going on now, but wouldn't have made it to this point without strip club therapy :)

Went through mine already.

Man, it was a blast while it lasted!

Settled down a lot since then.

I've recently increased how often I go to clubs and have changed my usual style of just one and done'ing dancers to now having favorites I'm a regular of. This leads me to feel like I may be right on the verge of mine, though in very early 30s, I prefer to call it my "2/5 life awakening." For my wallet's sake, I may need to snap out of it soon, but I'll enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Yeah I've been in a midlife crises since about 25!

OP: if you're separated only 9 months, you are most likely far more vulnerable than you think you are. Just the fact that you have the self-awareness to be worried about the rationalizations you're making ("get my game back") for SCing and evidently not in too much denial (" I'm a PL and an easy mark") is a good thing. When I was in your position, I made the classic mistake of misunderstanding my relationship with a particular stripper, and it was only luck that it ended not so badly, could have been way worse. I think among the things that made me a harder target than many guys in this position, is that I was dating actively as well, and aside from keeping me grounded, it made me much less desperate for reassurance and physical contact... otherwise, I'd have been helpless.

My 3-cents - by no means to be taken as gospel.

Per your post it almost looks like as if you are asking, or at least asking yourself, if you should be doing this (strip-clubbing).

Per your comments:

"... get in touch with your long-lost youth ..."

I'm not sure this is the main-reason most men go to strip-clubs (SCs); I don't think most men that are still healthy and active enough stop being attracted to young beautiful women especially if those young beautiful women happen to be semi to completely nude; i.e. whether one is 21 or 71 we all like to see and touch boobies but the older we get the less chance, often no chance, we have of playing w/ young firm boobies unless it's P4P/SCing - i.e. you may be SCing b/c you like boobies like most healthy men and not trying to relive your youth, IMO.


"... I've been separated from my wife for 9 months and filed for divorce 3 months ago. . ..."

There are two "golden rules" to SCing:

1) Don't fall in-love with a stripper

2) Don't forget rule #1

Older (40+) recently divorced dudes are often lamb-to-the-slaughter in the SC game - many of these guys have been out of the game for a good while and thus their skills are dull/not-sharp w.r.t. dealing with women in general and much less strippers many of which deal with dozens and dozens of guys week in week out often for years and thus are super-adept/sharks at playing SC-green custies and using/manipulating them to take all their $$$ by making these SC-green custies think/feel something that it's not.

Many SC-green custies only have experience/frame-of-reference in dealing with civilian women - not women that interact w/ men for $$$ - and thus many of these SC-green custies are playing the game at one level and the dancer playing the game at a completely different level w/ often times the green-SCer having-no-clue/being-oblivious to what's going on and often times these green-SCers are taken for big-$$$ b/f they realize it was all just a charade - recently divorced dudes are often especially vulnerable to falling for this crap.


"... Blown through more than $1,000 per month ..."

It's not a cheap hobby that's for sure - some big clubs can have 75 to 100 dancers on a peak night - and for some/many SCers it's kinda hard to resist all that temptation and not wanna indulge - but like has been posted; there are some that from time to time will spend $1k/visit and $400 to $500 per visit is not out of the ordinary (pussy isn't cheap :)) - but neither are a lot of hobbies (boating, flying, cruising, etc).


"... I tell myself it's to build confidence and get my game back. Seems like a I'm a PL and an easy mark, though ..."

This is where a lot of PLs get in trouble IMO - trying to fill some emotional void with SCing - SCing at best provides a distraction and *physical* satisfaction - SCs are not the place to look for love or a GF/love-interest - it's all business - it's not Match.com - the dancers are only interested in $$$ and they will play the part/role they have-to get-it - it's a mirage/illusion - it's not real no matter how it looks or feels.

Dealing with strippers may "help" dealing w/ women in general at some "basic" level in that one is not as desperate/hard-up when dealing with civilians - but our interactions with strippers are not real per se so having strippers all over us in a strip-club IMO is not going to translate to helping our game w/ civies b/c our interactions w/ strippers are not-real and not something that would work in the real-world.


"... Been able to back off later with a better perspective? Or is it just bad to worse ..."

It's different for everybody:

+ there are guys that genuienely do not enjoy SCs and what they are about; they prefer and enjoy different types of interactions or at least are not down with having to spend that much $$$ so they rather not partake

+ there are guys that play the SC game for a while and decide it's not for them long-term and kinda drift-away

+ there are guys who really really like it and they know it after having had one great SC experience and want more


As w/ anything that one enjoys, it can def become habitual - sorta like alcohol - some people don't care for it at all - some do-it socially and maybe for a time - and some get hooked from the first-time (different strokes for different folks).

I would think if one has a circle of friends and has activities they enjoy to fill their free-time; then one many not be as susceptible to hitting the SCs frequently, IMO - but if all one mostly does is work and then go home and then one has to look for things to do in their free-time to not be bored; then SCs are an enticing way to fill one's free/boring time - SCs can often be a nice escape from reality and often offer instant-gratification to the senses and instant access to tits-and-ass - thus it can go from "bad to worse" as you put-it - e.g.:

+ it's Fr/Sat night and bored w/ nothing to do - solution - let's hit the SC

+ had a rough day at work and need to unwind/get-mind-off-things - solution - let's hit the SC

+ I'm horny as fuck - solution - you know the drill :)

+ etc

"... I live in a big city a long ways away from her ..."

Your lone review is of a Minnesota club - Minnesota is not exactly a SCing hotbed - IMO you def haven't experienced the best of SCing. If you really wanna rock your world (get your brains fucked and for only $60 to $80; look at some of the reviews of Hong Kong in Tijuana (https://www.tuscl.net/club.php?id=3840) - but there are other U.S. cities w/ very good SC scenes much better than Minnesota .


Conclusion:
---------------
You seem to have been a straight-laced guy and seem to perhaps have issues w/ SCing as if it's a good or bad thing to do - SCs are not as great as they seem and not as bad as some say - there are pros and cons to SCing - they are not a substitute for a good healthy relationship but they are a good remedy/option to staying home just waiting to die w/ no excitement nor femaale companionship in one's life.

It's up to each individual person to figure-out if SCing is worth it to them - some guys are big-time into relationships and that is how they feel satisfied and SCs will not fill that need in a genuine way - some guys are all about instant gratification and love to grope and fuck young beautiful women as often as they can and SCs are a good-way to scratch that itch - and there are guys that are lonely in their spare time and SCs offer instant entertainment.

The analogy I often use with my buddies: Strip clubs should be like pot, not heroin.

Pot: Makes you feel kinda nice, drains your stress away, doesn't normally impact any other part of your life or substantially drain your bank account or disrupt your other relationships. Someone emotionally healthy can stay emotionally healthy on pot. I can almost make an argument that controlled, moderate use can be therapeutic.

Heroin: Incredible high highs and low lows, you are practically powerless to re-seek the highs again, substantially drains your bank account, disrupts your other relationships, and impacts other parts of your life. No matter whether you were emotionally healthy before you started heroin, you'll get progressively unhealthier.

Be super honest, where are you?

^ I need detox

:)

Don't we all, brother, don't we all?!

planning to schedule one as soon as things slow down a bit.

Thanks for the comments on my OP. Well-written and I will aim to take them to heart.

Yeah, I'd say it's more of a heroin matter than a pot matter. Ouch. Last night got hustled for $700. 2 couch dances for $40, upstairs for $300 on ATM, second VIP for $360 on a credit card with 20% surcharge. So incredibly stupid. Thought I was being a player, but just got played. Dancer hit me with 4-5 qualities about myself that wife had long since forgotten, plus reminded me of my first girlfriend.

Also, bummed at a potential ATF whom I had blown $400 on two weeks ago at a different club but then didn't brighten up when I stopped in for a visit without more VIP. I had thought the $400 would get at least some attention carried over. Not a free dance, but "so glad you're back". Whatever.

No, didn't profess "love" to either, or ran that around the bend, but heavy "lust at first sight" with laughter, conversation and plenty of contact.

Agree with rules. 1 and 2, followed by CASH only in the club - leave the plastic outside!

Again, thanks for spot-on comments.

Putting the P in PL.

First off, bear in mind that you can probably fuck a girl at least as hot as the girls you're spending money on for about $200, give or take depending on your market.

Strippers can be great therapists. A lot of therapy is just paying someone to listen to you... why not have it be someone hot and half dressed?

That said, there are a lot of yellow and red flags in the OP. I think Papi makes some fantastic points.

Pay the women for the sexual service they provide you, not to make them pretend to like you.

I'm glad you are aware of what you are experiencing. It becomes expensive quickly. It is fun and it can help in getting some of your game back. I think it's best for regaining confidence - that can be used when dealing with civilian women.

I've been there - and the pain of divorce is rough. I didn't go and buy a nice sports car or motorcycle - so I thought I was good - until I set foot in a club...

Do yourself a favor and don't bring plastic into the club. It creates a paper trail - and it allows you to over spend. I look at this like I would a casino - as I only bring the cash I'm willing to lose - and I don't go over.

Have fun!

Post Marital Stress Disorder is a serious matter. Not a time to do anything committal, but a time to stay out of trouble.

Wish JS69 could understand this.

SJG

Subraman: Fantastic analogy! Spot on!!