Dorkiest thing you've ever seen in a strip club

Born 2 pork

Even more dorky

BORN TO PORK kinda sounds like a good tattoo idea for a PL though...?

At this one place at about 530 pm you can count on this old smelly guy coming in, smells like he hasnt wiped properly, orders a coke, and bust out a deck of cards and starts playing solitaire. He is pretty hefty so his attire is usually cutoff grey sweats and a walmart tee. I think he is probably loaded and seeing who will give him the time of day but none of the dancers want anything to do with him. So he just sits there and plays cards.

At Band-Aids in Phoenix, which is the definition of a dive bar, in the middle of summer (110* and up), an old white dude walks in wearing a rented tuxedo and passed out roses to all the dancers. Nothing else even comes close.

CP

Club where DS II works has an ancient old fart who hands out flowers and a single dollar bill to each dancer. Most get a rose. The ones he really likes get a tiny bouquet with flowers dyed a variety of unnatural, bright, glow in the dark colors.

He smiles at each one like he's handing them the Hope Diamond. The girls give the flowers to the DJ who tosses them.

I talked to the guy once, he thinks he has the greatest system since Ricky boy. very very sad. My worst nightmare is to be that guy in 30 years.

"My worst nightmare is to be that guy in 30 years".

Not my M.O. but it makes me want to do a bit of a lifestyle makeover right now!

I have also seen guys who pass out roses. One of them that used to be a regular at my old favorite club used to wear this 3 piece suit and think he was this great guy.

I have also seen guys who wear sunglasses inside the strip club. Most of them think they're pimps or Las Vegas hustlers or something.

"Born 2 Pork" - do you think he's Jewish?
The dorkier thing I've seen? A gent in his mid 80's who after multiple lap dances said to the dancer, " I think I'm gunna cum." And he pissed himself getting her all wet.
I was talking with her right after she showered and put on a new outfit.

I saw Juice in a club handing out dandelions.

"I talked to the guy once, he thinks he has the greatest system since Ricky boy. very very sad. My worst nightmare is to be that guy in 30 years."

Brilliant!

"I saw Juice in a club handing out dandelions."

Double brilliant!

Tell the truth JohnSmith69! You're considering the "Born 2 Pork" shirt and you're just trying to assess our reactions. Like a focus group!

Ace idea! I say try it! Go to the club wearing a "Born 2 Pork" shirt! :)

^^^& if what forgot says is true, what will be the reaction on the courtroom with you having a mohawk? That would be brilliant

I'm thinking I might actually enjoy wearing the "Born to Pork" T-shirt to one of the East Dearborn clubs in Detroit that was mentioned not long ago. Definitely would want to use the Valet and NOT park in the street if I did that!!

If you wore that t-shirt in Bogarts, you'd have each girl there lining up for a go.

Suuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

I once went to a topless club here in Phoenix I hadn't been too. Think it was Jaguars. Anyways there was this skinny little white kid dressed like a black poser. You know the type, basketball jersey, baggy pants showing underwear, big cheesy chain necklace, sun glasses on and baseball hat turned sideways.

He was dancing by the stage "making it rain" 5.00 at a time. He looked SO stupid but it kept me entertained laughing at him.

I thought for sure someone was going to describe me without knowing it. I've never done any of those things I'm happy to say.

Older guy with glasses with the string wrapped around them, highwater pants and a fanny pack where he kept his money. Visually, the dorkiest but at same time the most ironically cool guy I've ever seen in a club.

Dorkiest occurence was this super awkward guy who had been sitting at the rail nursing a single beer and not tipping for about 30 minutes (which of the dancers I was hanging out with were talking about). My ATF's set comes up and while she's over by him on stage, he finally stands up, takes out a dollar and puts it in his mouth. She immediately shoots me over a look of panic and then we both can't help but bust out laughing. Poor guy, I almost felt bad for him

I saw this white-guy that would only get dances w/ black dancers at the club .... oh wait that was me - never mind - carry-on.

This guy is harmless and seems to be having a great time, but sure comes across as a dork: Older guy with Andy Warhol-esque hair and pants and top of same bright color (which color I can't recall). Passes out "glow sticks" to the dancers. Every one accepts.

People laugh at me all the time when I tip 100s at the stage.

@Papi - lol - that's great! I've been in that role too!

That pork shirt sounds like a shirt I got for my dog - "You had me at bacon." -

The dorkiest thing I've seen was my buddy - who is about 5 feet tall - wearing a cap that said "Girl Watcher" - dancing while he watches the dancers - and dancing back and forth from the buffet to the bar. Sadly - one of the dancers grabbed his hat - and tossed it around - since he couldn't reach it (due to being a bit short). I ended up grabbing it - giving it back to him - then taking him out for some pizza. It was too painful to keep watching.

At one club that I go to there is an old guy about 90 who comes in after noon on weekdays with a plaid suit directly out of "Guys and Dolls" with a vest and matching shorts and he wears white knee high socks and sneakers, walks around the room with individual roses and hands one to each dancer and kisses them on their hand has a draft beer then his aide comes in and he leaves.