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Did I make a huge mistake?

Avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69layin low but staying high

A week ago I loaned DS III over $1 K. It was to help her work out various shit in her life that is preventing us from getting together like I would like.

Most of you will probably say I'm an idiot. And maybe it was a huge mistake. I know the risks.

The biggest loan I've ever made before this was $200 to video girl. She paid me back.

I have a strong sense that this could be a smart move that could solidify our growing relationship. And she has so much potential that I'm willing to risk loosing these funds to make it happen. I'm not in love with her like DS I. Just very deeply in lust.

So go ahead and vote if you want to as to whether or not I am being a fool. It may be a couple of months before I know for sure how it turns out, but I'll post the details when I know them.

Anybody else ever lent this kind of cash to a stripper before? If so how did it turn out?

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JohnSmith69

Thanks Heck. That'll be really funny when the weed kicks in.

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Avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster

No its still a huge mistake. How many have we said don't trust these hoes?

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Papi_Chulo

I don’t see any risk at all.

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Avatar for DaOnion
DaOnion

Not a huge mistake, but a calculated gamble by both your little head and big head. It could pay off or it could be a losing bet.

If it doesn't work out, you lost $1,000. If it pays off though, she may hit you up for more loans in the future. Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

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Avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive

I think it will work out in your favor, if not Heck needs some extra bucks so let him be your debt collector. He could take her for a ride to a dive bar bet she will pay it back once he starts driving past those popos with 10 lbs. of weed in the backseat.

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Avatar for Bavarian
Bavarian

It's not a mistake as long as you're OK being paid back in services and not cash.

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Avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77

It's a calculated smart move. It fits with your hustle MO for DSs.

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Avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster

^if rather make it rain $1k.

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chessmaster

I'd. Auto correct.

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shailynn

It's a smart move as long as losing $1,000 will not put too much of financial strain on you. I did a similar thing and it paid off - will explain in another thread.

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Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

I’m probably missing something – if he’s already banging her what does he have to gain – more emergency cash requests?

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Avatar for FalconLord1979
FalconLord1979

Sounded like $1k is not that big a hit for you, so not a big gamble

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Avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf

A mistake. The money is gone and probably never be repaid in cash or services. But it's not the money that's the problem. She will probably avoid you not wanting to adress the loan. Your relationship will become about the loan instead of fun. Only chance here is to tell her the loan is forgiven.

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Avatar for Bavarian
Bavarian

Why would it be so hard for her to repay in services?

I know it's harder to get paid back ITC because of opportunity costs but OTC on her day off should not be a problem.

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Avatar for jester214
jester214

Simple things to consider before making a loan:

Assume it's not coming back. Can you afford financially to lose the money? Is it going to eat at you that you aren't getting it back?

In regards to someone your banging: Is this the start of a pattern?

Now a lot of people can afford it but won't be able to let it go emotionally then it will become a problem because they'll either dwell on it or they'll try to take advantage. In your case the latter might be a good thing.

I'd be more concerned about the start of a pattern.

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Avatar for Subraman
Subraman

Almost 0% chance that money comes back ... once a stripper has your money, it's hers.

Whether it's a mistake or not depends on how you feel about not getting it back. Care a lot? Then it's a mistake. Don't care, and think $1000 is a reasonable investment even if there's no guaranteed return? Not a mistake, I suppose

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Avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf

The problem with being paid in services is most dancers have short term thinking. They just wouldn't recognize the obligation. Client has no leverage. Even if she fucked, JS would feel awkward about paying nothing and would probably give some cash. The loan would never be repaid in full and even if it was she will just ask for another loan soon.

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Avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong

You'll learn something either way, so why worry.

Or is that too philosophical for ya? :)

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Avatar for gawker
gawker

My ATF "borrowed" money from me when she was in Hawaii several years ago. $500 here, $750 there. By the time she came home she owed me about $7,000. She agreed that she'd cut her rate in half until it was paid back. After "working off a couple of grand she said she couldn't continue and asked me to forget it. We settled on a three day weekend in Myrtle Beach with no exchange of funds and we'd call it even. The trip turned into a major clusterfuck and the best thing that came out of it was that I didn't get arrested, but that's another story.

Think of the loan as an investment.

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Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

I bet if any dancer posts she will say that it was a very nice thing for him to-do to help her out in her time of need and that he should not expect anything in return.

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rickdugan

Nobody likes a creditor John, especially a stripper who is so hard up that she has to resort to borrowing $1,000 from a John. Except you're not even her John yet, but rather just a guy who just handed a chick $1,000 in the hopes of becoming her John.

I wonder what could go wrong with that? ;)

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Avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD

That's less than 3 JS fuck sessions, right?

You'll never see the cash again, but she'll probably make it up in trade eventually .

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Avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster

think about it this way. ive "loaned" money to people i thought were "friends" and never got it back.(never $1000 though). do you really think a hoe(that only associates with you because you pay her) is going to pay you back anything?

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clubdude

From previous post it appears 1K isn't tht big of a deal to you. Therefore, if she eventually pays you back (say in the next 6 months), in some way, it was worth it. If not, then 1K a small price (for you) to pay to be done with her.

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Avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter

I always thought the fastest way to make a stripper disappear was to loan her money.

One time it did work out for me. One favorite who seemed attached to me asked me to loan her 100 bucks and if I did, she would give me half off the typical dance price in the club forever. I decided to take a chance. She made money dancing extra dances for me still getting a certain amount and I enjoyed her dances. All other times, dancers disappeared. One time I found a dancer and she was literally frightened to come out on stage acting like I could be a hit man in the mafia or something. I wasn't used to that. Someone once told me I looked like I could be a hit man, not sure what that was about.

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crazyjoe

Its gonna be huuuhuhgggge

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Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

Most dancers that are in financial trouble such that they need loans are usually not in a position to pay back those loans.

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Avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69

I should have known that gawker would have a better story to tell with a much bigger loan.

The repayment terms here are a small discount off of her regular services. She still gets paid generously each time but just with a relatively small discount until the loan is repaid. Seems to me there's a lot of incentive to repay since it's tied to the flow of continuing future business. But of course I recognize the inherent uncertainty in such a transaction. That keeps life interesting.

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Avatar for ButterMan
ButterMan

If she is smart she will use the money to get her car fixed or whatever you gave it to her for, and realize that there is more where that came from and not fuck things up. But and there is always a but,,,she probably isn't smart.

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Avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter

If you're routinely buying services and getting a discount with the loan, good deal then. In the one case it paid off for me, I was routinely buying lap dances. I was hoping the deal would last at least a few weeks. Forever turned into 2 years before she cut off the deal.

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Avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat

13 years ago I knew a dancer that was really in a bind. I really felt sorry for her and wanted to help her. So I gave(not loaned) her $1,000 with no strings attached. That was the beginning of an 8 year relationship with my ATF.

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Avatar for maho
maho

"Repayment terms".....with a stripper, and with someone so broke they had to ask non-family for money.

Something about this makes me laugh.

Since 99.99% of everything I ever read says never pay a stripper upfront when entering VIP, think the answer is pretty straight forward. Maybe buying time/services from a stripper and friendship/relationship are getting confused here.

If one has money to throw around then then their really isn't a wrong answer.

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maho

Wonder if someone is keeping a spreadsheet of the repayment terms, and where things stand with the "small discouts".

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Avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels

John, I have had breast implants, I've got a great blonde wig on. Would you lend me a $1000 also?

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Avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69

SCat, welcome to the $1K club. I feel better just by the fact that you're here.

Maho, on each date as payment is made, I was going to mention the outstanding balance. But this is not really about repayment. Like scat, I want to help her out and I want to secure her long term regular services. The loan is a reasonable admission price in my view even if I never get repaid.

Vince, if you were an 18 year old gorgeous female willing to make my every sexual fantasy cum true, and if the blond hair was natural, maybe. But I don't do or accept tranny hand jobs.

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Avatar for 4got2wipe
4got2wipe

"John, I have had breast implants, I've got a great blonde wig on. Would you lend me a $1000 also?"

Ace!

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Avatar for 4got2wipe
4got2wipe

"Nobody likes a creditor John, especially a stripper who is so hard up that she has to resort to borrowing $1,000 from a John. Except you're not even her John yet, but rather just a guy who just handed a chick $1,000 in the hopes of becoming her John.

I wonder what could go wrong with that? ;)"

I hate to say anything positive about rickdugan because of the general aura of d-baggery that surrounds the guy, but he sort of has a point! $1K isn't much but I suspect that $1K is a reasonable sum of money to her, so she may actually get weirded out!

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georgmicrodong

@John: In my opinion, mentioning the outstanding balance each time is going to sour the whole thing. If you've already discussed it, and she can do basic math, she already knows how many times she's going to have to fuck you to pay it off.

By all means, keep track of it, even writing it down if that will help, and show/tell her what it is if she asks, but otherwise don't mention it until it's done.

You always have the option of giving her the "gift" of not paying off the rest of it at any time, irrespective of how you do it. :)

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Avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf

Yea, why would you want to ruin a good vibe by bringing up the balance of a loan each time you are with her?

Here is why this is a hustle. If she is a DS, she must be close to a 10. If she is a 10, she can probably make close to 1k a night if she hustles hard. Thus, if she really was desperate for the cash, she would just work a double or an extra day out of the week. Instead, she thinks she is getting free money from a dedicated whale which will never have to be repay really.

Now it is all relative, if you pay more than the market rate maybe she will be cool with taking a little less each visit. But, I doubt she really thinks she'll have to pay it back.

I get that you don't really give a shit about repayment, but now there is this "loan" cloud over the relationship which used to be all about fun. That's why it was a mistake IMO.

After my learning curve, I no longer loan these honeys money, I just give it to them knowing it will never be payed back.

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Avatar for Subraman
Subraman

-->"Here is why this is a hustle. If she is a DS, she must be close to a 10. If she is a 10, she can probably make close to 1k a night if she hustles hard. Thus, if she really was desperate for the cash, she would just work a double or an extra day out of the week. Instead, she thinks she is getting free money from a dedicated whale which will never have to be repay really. "

Yep, I think that's some lucid thinking.

Looking at it from the other point of view, though... let's put aside the fact that it's $1000, which is a lot of money for most of us, but JS seems to be able to afford it without breaking a sweat. So, let's change the number -- $200. For most of us, it's not a trivial amount of money, but totally affordable. Your girl asks for $200, or asks you to buy her a pair of shoes that's worth $200 or whatever. Given that it's totally affordable, worth a very slight risk to make her happy? If $1000 is as affordable to JS as $200 is to the rest of us, is it that terrible a risk? For me, $1000 would be out of the question

BTW, I've done the "half-priced OTCs until you pay me back" thing, and it worked ... except that it wasn't THAT much money that I lent, and it only took 2 OTCs until it was paid back. If it would have taken more than that, I'd start worrying that she'd lose her motivation for meeting me OTC.

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Avatar for Longneck
Longneck

I think that you just became her Suga Daddy. Hopefully, with the benefits but at least you helped her and her unemployed, felon boyfriend stay together because she can spend more time with him cultivating their growing relationship that you funded. I love this site!

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Avatar for RedJohnson
RedJohnson

4got2wipe called rickdugan a d-bag. True maybe but funny from a troll. Like a kiddie diddler calling another guy a perv. No trolls on my main site usasexguide. It's good cause most trolls are kiddie diddlers too so I dont want to think about shit bags like that.

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Avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234

I doubt you will ever see any of that money again. However, the test is how long she remembers - and how much your generosity will be repaid in your upcoming meet ups.

Some girls are much more appreciative - and they never forget those who help them out of a bind.

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Avatar for Tiredtraveler
Tiredtraveler

its only a huge mistake if you want it back

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flagooner

I always thought rule number 2 for show clubs was to never pay until after services were provided.

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Avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo

JS plays by his own rules

:)

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Avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69

"Here is why this is a hustle. If she is a DS, she must be close to a 10. If she is a 10, she can probably make close to 1k a night if she hustles hard. Thus, if she really was desperate for the cash, she would just work a double or an extra day out of the week. Instead, she thinks she is getting free money from a dedicated whale which will never have to be repay really.

Now it is all relative, if you pay more than the market rate maybe she will be cool with taking a little less each visit. But, I doubt she really thinks she'll have to pay it back.

I get that you don't really give a shit about repayment, but now there is this "loan" cloud over the relationship which used to be all about fun. That's why it was a mistake."

All very valid points LW but here's more context. For a variety of reasons she works at a little dive club where there's not a lot of money to be had. At the very least, she knows she won't find a big spender like me easily. So there's a good chance that I might be the best customer to walk in the door for a while. She makes nothing remotely close to $1K per night. She barely makes that per week excluding my money. I went to her club on a long shot hope of finding a DS and it worked (same way I got DS II). And yes I pay above market rates, plus I'm willing to date/pay regularly. Guys like that aren't a dime a dozen. She's also very young and immature, and doesn't really have a good hustle. At least not yet. And shes not a 10. A 9.5 to me, exactly my type, but other guys might say she's an 8.5 if they're not exactly into her type.

But I agree that keeping a running balance of the tab would be detrimental. I might just forgive the debt after a particularly awesome blow job, with clarification that I refuse to become her long term lender.

I expected most of you to say it was a mistake which is why I posted this. I know this goes against conventional wisdom but Papi is right about my own set of rules. I think it's a very interesting question whether it was a mistake or not. I realize and acknowledge all of the logic behind people saying it will go wrong. But my instinct with this particular dancer says it's right. I'll be honest and explain however it works out.

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Avatar for 4got2wipe
4got2wipe

Why so negative RedJohnson? I'd recommend you adopt a dachshund to cheer yourself up but I'm a bit afraid of putting a nice pup in with a negative Nancy like you!

Wake up tomorrow and say to yourself "I will not be a d-bag today!" Repeat that every day for the rest of your life! The results will be brilliant! :)

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Avatar for rick33
rick33

Think of it as a stack of chips placed on the roulette table. It will either pay off or it wont.

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Avatar for Estafador
Estafador

Honestly at this point and ALL the advice you get here and I'm sure in the physical realm, if you still make mistakes, then you probably know that you did. Any regrets you have is your own. So I suggest just quit feeling regretful because it's your own choice to be as ridiculous as you wanna be.

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Avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy

Pay them money, like a mistress retainer and help them build outside careers.

But don't loan them money, because that sets up a negative dynamic because they will have no intention of every paying you back. And consider, what is the girl going to be doing to be able to pay you back? It makes you into her handler / pimp.

SJG

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Avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77

SJG --> "And consider, what is the girl going to be doing to be able to pay you back? It makes you into her handler / pimp." --> end quote SJG

SJG, that is both deeply profound and deeply disturbing, yet very accurate. o.0

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Avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy

AAMP girl from China took on $10k obligation to pay a criminal defense lawyer. So she is grinding away, as her case is pending. He manipulates the system so he gets her back in for an additional 2x 6 month long stints, just so that she can make court appearances, and continue being able to pay him.

Strange world this is.

Give money to women, but don't loan it to them and don't cosign for them either.

SJG

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