Forgive me if this is a dumb question.
From what you've seen, do customers get attention from the dancers if they rock like a tie and dress shirt? As opposed to just dressing casual? Does dressing nice signal to the dancer that maybe that guy has money?
Nice clothes can be helpful because dancers may associate a suit with money. I hear that a white three piece suit is particularly effective.
But I went to the Heck school of weed smoking and dead head fashion. So I typically go in shorts, tshirt, and flip flops. My dress presents no problems, and least not once the girls see the color of my money.
It doesn't matter if your white...
Being old and white is most important in assuming they have money.
i've definitely noticed guys who show up in suits get more attention. But it also may be the girls thinking of the guys as easy marks.
I'm sure some girls profile guys at least partly by dress, though in general, I think that once you are just dressed decently (that is, past stretched-out t-shirts and dirty jeans), you hit diminishing returns. Are you having trouble getting attention?
As far as getting attention, I have a sure-fire, multi-pronged strategy, that leads to exactly the kind of experience I love:
A note on "spending well". There's that old joke about the two hikers who run into a bear. The first hiker starts putting on his running shoes, and the second hiker says, "what are you doing, you won't outrun that bear." The first hiker responds, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you." Well, in general, to stand out, you don't have to outswim the whale -- you just have to outswim the schlubby PLs who are there. $200 over 3 hours can be a fortune for a girl during 1pm-4pm Monday dayshift (when most other strippers there might get a few lapdances at most), whereas no saturday night girl is going to sit still for $200 for 3 hours. Those guys are all wearing horrible gray slacks and bad-fitting shirts -- you'll stand out in whiskered dark well-fitting jeans and a well-fitted shirt. No tie or suit or anything else needed.
Subraman, you are dropping knowledge today my friend!
Yeah I'm having trouble getting attention. I tip the girls generously on stage, but none of them come sit by me after their stageset, they go to other people. It's almost like they will try going to everybody else before me. I don't know if it's because I'm young, and they assume I have no money? I don't know if it's because the way I dress?
I'm gonna try wearing a tie and dress shirt on my next visit and see if there's a difference.
When they come by to collect the dollars you left them, and thank you, do you tell them, "HI, if you're not with another customer, I"m interested in dances, come by" or something similar?
Don't bother with a tie or a suit.
Try a polo shirt (aka golf shirt), crisp dress slacks, and some clean shoes.
^That should get you attention in most any club.
The only thing the ladies ask is that we have clean, soft clothes.
I don't Subraman. I assume they should know I want their attention when I'm putting 40 bucks on stage.
Larry drop the tie and dress shirt go in jeans (clean) and a simple button down shirt tip the one you like a bit better skip the ones that don't appeal to you buy a few drinks make a few jokes concentrate on having a good time the babes will come be both proactive and patient trust me that is what subra man is telling you.
Chessmaster must be correct. The only pants I own are jeans, sweats & shorts. The only shirts I own are sweat shirts, t-shirts and 1 non dress shirt with a collar. I still have work and dress shoes but I haven't worn any shoes except tennis shoes since I retired in 2009. I do OK at the clubs.
Jeans in a SC? Only if LDs are illegal in that city.
Or wear "Dad apparel". Ladies will hustle that. I think you want to look like a spending customer and many of the spending customers are 40-50 so they look for that.
As a black guy, if you wear glasses, I would bring them. It "takes the edge off" if you know where I'm coming from. It fits the look of the spending black demographic (professional black guy).
Also if you start buying dances ... the other ladies on the shift will quickly see that you are a spending customer and should approach or be willing to approach when asked.
I hate to bring up the race thing, but could it be because I'm black? (I'm half white, half black). I'm generally tipping the white girls and Latina girls? Maybe the girls assume blacks are cheap and just want to fuck them for free? Just a thought, I don't think that's the case though.
I forgot you were mixed... In short, yes that may have something to do with it.
It's more likely because you are young but some girls could be racist although many of them have black boyfriends if I were you I would just concentrate on having a good time, being a nice guy and becoming known where you like to club. On another thread you mentioned a dancer that wanted to meet you OTC for free figure out what you did to attract her and grow your game from there.
I've noticed in SOME clubs it varies heavily. Some girls in NYC flock to it others don't. I have SOMETIMES gotten attention from wearing a suit, but for the most part it doesn't help one bit. Only suit that will attract flocks are suits made of money. It seems the best tried and true method to get "flocks" is to be a regular. You get some attention from tipping and get flocks coming back every day.
Suits only seem to work if you either come in a crowd....or your old. Otherwise a young person coming in alone with a suit will get as much attention as the non-suit. You get a double wammy if your black, partially because no one can see you in the dark club. You'd think being "tall, dark and handsome" would do the job
@larryfisherman What is your primary strip club city? I'm black, 31, and SC in Tucson mostly and from my experiences I have had more mileage/fun/better dances/GFE with the Hispanic/Mexican girls. There have been one or two white ones that made themselves noteworthy too. Both types have approached me, but the Hispanic/Mexicans the most. So, it may slightly matter with race. Do you think you're giving off a thug vibe? I haven't seen that work too highly in favor for anybody unless of course they've come to know who you are.
As far as dress, I'd recommend khakis and polo shirt or button down shirt. And go with a light color with the polo shirt. Plus wearing cologne is nice.
I find it crazy they dont come by after a $40 stage tip. Are you making it rain or putting $20s in their gstring? Do they see that you put the $20 or $40 there? Be sure they see and as others have mentioned ask them to stop by after their stage set. $40 is alot, but sometimes they still choose otherwise for whatever reason. I've purposely tipped more than the other guy(s) before only for her to go and be with one of them. It happens.
Oh and the few black strippers I've seen in the club over time don't even approach me.
What clubs in LA are you going to? Well I'll answer that as the 'wrong clubs' because I'm half black, and I always got approached. So as long as you're dressing like you have a job, you're going to get approached.
That said, never went to 4Play or any of the Hollywood clubs either, those clubs are for white/Asian tourist with lots of money to burn. They figure your $300/$400 harder to get than the other guys $900/$1000 (and more) dollars.
So go to a smaller market club would be my guess for you. I did very well at Dames n Games. And obviously some if the COI clubs (mostly Hispanics, but white girls too)
@Ch3II- Los Angeles is my primary strip club city. The black strippers always approach me regardless if I tip them or not. You're right though, maybe I do give off the thug vibe. I wear Timbalands, baseball hat, long jeans, my ears are pierced, I have a neck tattoo. That might be the issue. I make it rain at times.
@s88- I wear jeans, and the grind still feels pretty good to me.
Thanks for the insight twentyfive.
@GACA- yeah I've been doing 4 Play and Bare Elegance. I'm gonna start trying some more "urban clubs".
Dressing like you have money can help, but... if a 3 piece suit is going to be totally out of place in a club, probably not the best idea in that case. This like many other things vary from club to club.
Subraman makes a good point, as long as you are willing to accept say shift options.
^^^ or go to the Valley (SF obviously )
I've been wearing old soft - well worn - jeans for clubbing forever - and it works quite well for me in most all clubs. I wear a clean tshirt - old work boots - and that's about it. The only thing that gives any indication of my comfortable finances is my omega watch - and my roll of cash.
The truth is - the clothes should fit the club. Been to Manhattan clubs where everyone was in expensive suits - and I've been to byob clubs in Pa where a suit will make you stand out in a less than good way.
I don't think a suit would really help you much, but maybe find somewhere in the middle from everyday casual. I don't understand why guys wear jeans if they want dances, some comfortable slacks will feel a lot better for both of you if you're getting a decent grind. I would aim for something like a business casual, with the emphasis on everything feeling good to the touch and fitting well. No boots or tennis shoes unless you're committed to full casual.
I'd hate to be in any club where you stage tip $20 and the girl doesn't come talk to you for a while after.
I totally agree about going when it's slow.
Thanks for all your help guys.
I have the best luck wearing pressed business casual. But, that's only initially, it really doesn't matter what you're wearing as long as you look clean and the talent can see you spending.
Mrs sea hates my wardrobe but it's comfortable AND practical for me. I have a nice pair of well worn, soft and skin tight levi 501's she loves that I occasionally wear but I always wear my levi cargo pants. With everything I carry on my person I need the cargo pockets and I absolutely hate having a wallet in my back pocket. Plus, I always end up carrying her stuff as well.
For shirts; when we go clubbing I usually wear one of my tighter polo shirts. Just like mrs sea likes dressing sexy for me I like showing off for her too. i like when the sleeves are tight on my arms so it really shows my biceps and I like to think it lets the dancers easily see that I'm fit and don't have a beer gut or anything. If I wore one of my baggier shirts it makes me feel like I was trying to cover up excess weight. I used to weigh about 60lbs more than I do today and that's EXACTLY why I had the baggy polo shirts. Sometimes I wear a button down.
I only own 5 pairs of shoes. Dressy black ones I wear maybe once every other year for something fancy when mrs sea tells me I HAVE to wear them. Nice pair of brown dress doc martins that i've had for ages. Work boots. Pair of vasque trail running shoes for working out. But my every day shoe and what I wear to clubs is my pair of vasque backpacking boots.
She takes 2 hours to get ready and it takes me 10 minutes...lol Cargo pants...check Polo or button down...check Boots...check Hair down...check
Time for titties
In some clubs, it doesn't matter, but in most of the ones I am familiar with, wearing a suit makes you an easy mark. I try to dress casual, but usually, if it's one I'm known at, or if I know it's a dive, t-shirts are good enough.
I don't think there's a one size fits all answer to this question. You need to know the club vibe - as that will provide a good idea of what clothes work best.
I've been to Manhattan clubs where it's all fancy suits - and that's the norm. I've also been to clubs where a suit would make you a definite mark (as DandyDan mentions).
Regardless of what you wear, you should look "pulled together" with clean clothes that fit.
I wear Jordan basketball/gym shorts to the clubs commando and a regular t-shirt during the summer. During the cooler months I wear those thin lounge pants from JC Penney commando with the not-so-obvious hole in the crotch area for easy access.
No shame in my gi-zame homie.
Since this thread I have been to the strip club three more times. I think it was just my attire that was a problem, it gave off too much of a thug vibe. I've dressed nicer (not suit and tie) in my last three visits and gotten more attention. I'm on my fashion shit now lol.
I don't think a suit is necessary to be perceived as dressing "nicely." A decent shirt and slacks should be sufficient. Based on some girls' comments, ditch the jeans; most of them seem to think they're too rough for lap dances.
If you look "black" and are going to clubs where young black men are not receiving as much attention, I'd use the suggestion given before and get a pair of glasses, even if you don't need them. Get a clear glass pair. :)
NEVER wear jeans to a show club. Gym shorts or dress slacks. One extreme or the other gives best pleasure. The dancers hate it when guys wear jeans too.
I used to have trouble getting dances when I used to go dressed as a priest..
I like to go to dive bars dressed in scuba gear.
“… I hate to bring up the race thing, but could it be because I'm black? (I'm half white, half black) …”
Then just cover-up the black half – presto!
:)
Try dressing like Steve Urkel so you look less intimidating.
@25: Haha. Guess you don't need to bring a rubber if you are already wearing a scuba suit.
A suit may work for a gray-haired 50+ y/o guy that makes him look like a businessman – i.e. probably a 50 y/o guy in a suit may get more attention than a 50 y/o guy in t-shirt and jeans – but for a young-guy it may not make as much of a difference.
As others have mentioned – in SC bizarro-world being young (and even good-looking) may often times count against you – I started clubbing when I was 30 and looked younger than my age and throughout my early/mid 30s in certain clubs (more upscale ones) I would often get walked right past to the older guy next to me.
Yeah – if you go dressed like a rapper wannabee good chance this fits the profile of many a young guy that do not spend $$$ in strip-clubs and the type many dancers in certain clubs will avoid.
Also – one’s facial expression – I have eyesight issues from birth and thus very poor eyesight and tend to kinda squint or really have to force my eyes thus giving me a look as if I’m angry – thus perhaps if you are young, dressed sorta like a gangbanger; and have a serious facial-look that kinda comes across as “don’t fuck with me”; this may also be a problem – i.e. smile and make eye-contact if you don’t already do so.
And if all else fails – def be proactive – in a club w/ lots of fi$h it’s harder to stand-out; so grab a dancer’s attention as she walks by – e.g. ask “hi are you busy?” and this can often help.
For those of you who said 3 piece suit, who the heck wears vests anymore? Lol.
In the clubs in which one is a regular I doubt that it matters. They know that you have money. I know that it doesn't in mine.
In places where you aren't known, my experience is that it can make a big difference. I have even tested the theory in clubs in 3 or 4 different cities by showing up 1 night casual and another night in my work clothes. Seriously, on the dressed up nights, girls that walked by me multiple times on the casual nights would stop, introduce themselves and ask if it was my first time in the club - lol. I won't pretend to understand why this happens or the assumptions in play, but as a traveling club hound with limited time at my disposal, I'll use all of the tools at my disposal.
I think sometimes it pays to dress nice. If you are a regular it probably doesnt matter because they already know what your about. And if you dress up too much in a hood club they might think your a cop..LOL