What have I gotten myself into?

larryfisherman
California
A couple of weeks ago I asked if the stripper wanted me or the wallet.

Here is the thread for reference
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=4…

The vast majority of you said of course she just wanted the wallet. I was fine with that. Fast forward to a couple of days ago. I was back at the club with the girl that told me, "we would have great sex". It was a slow Wednesday night, and she latched on to me the whole time I was there (maybe 3 hours). I did tip her pretty well on stage, and I bought her a few drinks. I would estimate I spent $100 on her. I didn't get any dances though. Towards the end of the night she initiated more sex talk. I was horny, and she was hot, so we took it from there and she agreed to meet up at my place after work. We didn't negotiate anything at the club, but I fully expected to pay for it, so I pulled out (no pun intended) $400 from the ATM before I left.

She indeed does come to my house after work. She still hasn't asked for money. We cuddle and watch and a movie, and then we just start going at it. Long story short, we have incredible sex, and she ends up staying the night. In the morning we have some more sex, and I then I cooked her breakfast. I drive her home, and she gives me a kiss goodbye. She never asked for money. I was gonna ask how much she wanted, but I didn't want her to think I thought she was a prostitute,

She's been texting me pretty frequently the past couple of days. What the hell is going on here?

Does she just want to do some fuck buddy shit?
Is she expecting me to pay her the next time we fuck?
Was it just a one night thing?
Does she want to be my girlfriend?
Speaking of girlfriend, what are the negatives of potentially dating a stripper?

I know I asked a lot of questions. I know what to do in the civilian world when it comes to this, but I'm not that experienced with the strippers. Some insight from you veterans would greatly be appreciated. Thanks.

23 comments

  • jackslash
    9 years ago
    You just saved $400.

    If she doesn't want money, she wants to be your girlfriend and eventually your wife. I can't imagine any negatives to dating a stripper.
  • shadowcat
    9 years ago
    What did you fix her for breakfast? This is important. :)
  • Mistah_Fetti_Morbuxxx
    9 years ago
    It has happened to me before with two dancers...Most likely if she gave it up that easily without payment then she likes you either as a fuck buddy, friends with benefits, or maybe as a potential boyfriend.
  • gawker
    9 years ago
    What you have gotten yourself into is a hot woman. Most strippers ( not all) are flakey, unpredictable, and difficult to maintain a relationship with. If she seems to want to be with you more, go for it. At some point have a talk with her about her goals.
    As far as the problem of dating a stripper you need to plumb the depths of your own psyche to find out how you feel about a slew of pathetic losers groping and salivating on your girl friend. Some guys handle it and others don't. If and when you get that far the T word (trust) will arise. How will you feel about being with a woman who will say to a stranger , "we can have great sex."
  • Cashman1234
    9 years ago
    I wouldn't offer her any cash. If she came back to your place - gave you a decent GFE - and didn't ask for $$$ - that's great!

    Strippers aren't like drug dealers - since drug dealers might give a potential buyer/addict a taste to get their addiction rekindled. With OTC strippers - you pay upfront and there are few (if any freebies).

    Based on the content of her texts and the regularity of them - you can gauge if she wants a BF or FB. It's always good to let them wait before responding. It is even better to leave them as unread.
  • larryfisherman
    9 years ago
    @shadowcat- pancakes and egg

    @jackslash- for some reason I thought people said dating a stripper would be a nightmare?

    I forgot to add that I don't know her too well. She said she doesn't do drugs, has no kids, and is in school. Who knows if that's true?

    I don't judge people, so being a stripper is not a deal breaker as far as dating. I would want to know what I'm getting into though.
  • flagooner
    9 years ago

    Don't worry about it. Just go with the flow.

    The only mistake that I see that you made was using the ATM in the club.
  • rockstar666
    9 years ago
    Hey, free sex with a dancer! Sounds like fun, so enjoy! But easy come will be easy go, so don't get too hung up on her. Seriously!
  • Dominic77
    9 years ago
    Congrats! Realize though that you may just "be in the rotation." Chances are she's fucking at least one other guy if not more. But it is what it is. I had an unemployed roommate (25 yo) who used to sleep with dancers for free. I got the term "in the rotation" from him. Often the dancer was seeing 3-5 men during a given week.

    Or maybe you are her soulmate?

    You never know.
  • twentyfive
    9 years ago
    Sounds like you got yourself into some free pussy, enjoy it while it lasts.
  • Papi_Chulo
    9 years ago
    w.r.t. women; and strippers specifically; I often think of the saying “there is no such thing as a free lunch”.

    Strippers *are* women and they gotta date somebody – but IMO for the avg guy dating a stripper is tricky.

    IMO you gotta be honest w/ yourself and ask yourself what you really want vs what’s expected; etc. – i.e. do you want a GF? Do you want her as a GF? etc.

    As w/ investing $$$; some will say invest what you are willing/able to lose – I’d say that could apply to dating a stripper – if you genuinely like her; then you can date and get to know her better and see how it goes – but IMO you def need to go at your pace and not hers; i.e. don’t let yourself get caught up in her drama or her making you her BF if that’s not what you want – don’t get emotionally involved if you are not willing to deal with her potential issues which are very common w/ dancers; e.g. financial issues; etc – if you are not careful she’ll be living in your house b/f you know it (e.g. she may give you some sob story of an abusive BF and her having to move-out; or her not being able to afford the rent and will be homeless; etc).

    Often times when you get involved w/ someone; you also inevitably get involved w/ their problems – if you don’t want to deal w/ that then play your cards right and keep your distance; don’t get too involved if she has issues you don’t want to become your issues.

    A lot of women are looking for a guy to take care of them – i.e. if you are a nice decent guy w/ a decent income; then they may want to latch on to you.
  • Papi_Chulo
    9 years ago
    My statement above is just my glass-half-empty *opinion* - not to be taken as the absolute facts.
  • JohnSmith69
    9 years ago
    That's pretty much what happened with me and free girl. She said yes to sex, and up until the end I expected to pay her. But she got really pissed when I offered money, so I never did again.

    If there is an age difference of over 20 years, and if you're not filthy rich, my guess is she wants a fuck buddy. That's what free girl wanted.

    If you are closer in age, or if you're filthy rich, then there's more of a chance that she wants a boyfriend.
  • larryfisherman
    9 years ago
    I definitely don't want to go too fast with this one. I don't even know if I want to date her. I definitely need to get to know her better.
  • ButterMan
    9 years ago
    Your young right larry? If your pretty close to her age i doubt she ask's for money if she didn't the first time. She probably wants a fuck buddy or has a crush. Dating strippers for real can be a nightmare. They can be about as unfaithful as us guys. and lets not forget the drama....
  • Cashman1234
    9 years ago
    Enjoy the sex. Stay away from her drama. Don't expect you are her "main squeeze". It's good advice - and it's important to understand upfront.

    After reading this advice - I'm reminded of A Tale of Two Cities - "it was the best of times - and it was the worst of times" -
  • larryfisherman
    9 years ago
    @Butterman- yeah I'm 25, she's 22.

    I think staying away from the drama and enjoying the sex is good advice. My friend has a motto he goes by. "Treat these women like clothes, change them every day." Lol I'm not quite there with him.
  • Cashman1234
    9 years ago
    Your friend has a good attitude. It's best to not get too close - and that keeps you out of the drama.
  • rh48hr
    9 years ago
    Also don't get too close emotionally so when she doesn't return a text or doesn't show up for a "get together" you don't overreact. It's just sex, enjoy it and she'll let you know if she wants more (ie a boyfriend) and then you decide what you want to do.
  • sharkhunter
    9 years ago
    I'd enjoy her while it lasts and use protection if you don't want kids. Otherwise you will be the stripper bf that got her pregnant. It happens a lot. If she hasn't mentioned money, don't.
  • Eagle1191
    9 years ago
    Just go with the flow, being close to her in age ans her not asking for money when she was at your place means she is likely looking for a fb, has a crush, or sees you as a potential boyfriend.

    Get to know her a little and keep her at a distance emotionally until you know what you want. Do not ask her if she wants money unless she brings it up, and treat her as you have since it never hurts to be polite and a gentleman.
  • Mate27
    9 years ago
    I used to bang them for free but now that I'm older the girls still will fuck me but they assume I have funds for a donation so they drop hints like " there's this new tattoo I want to get that costs $300!" She's just having fun and so should you, and give her some money if u don't want a relationship.
  • JamesSD
    9 years ago
    You say you understand civvys, so you presumably get that if you try to define the relationship it can burst the sex bubble.

    Strippers do occasionally fuck customers for free, despite what SW would have us think. The girls who have opened up to me honestly about their dating lives have all admitted to at least occasionally fucking some hot young guy from the club.

    The big tests will be how she acts towards you ITC and the tone of her texts.
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