What to do next?

Always be shopping around. ..

You like her, so go back in and see her ITC eventually.

This OTC issue will come up again and just blow it off. Tell her you're not going to waste your time on that anymore. Or you can go the other way and keep agreeing to set up an appointment knowing she's not going to show, then you can always get the no tip addition next time you do in the club VIP! Lol

Personally; I feel the best-way to deal w/ strippers is to not have any expectations other than for her to deliver upon what is agreed when we are together.

I think it's best to assume a stripper will flake w.r.t. OTC – if your free time is limited and can't put-up w/ her flakiness then best to just keep it ITC as long as you enjoy it or perhaps find someone a bit more reliable – many SCers espouse to the practice of having a couple of backup dancers/faves to pick up the slack.

OTC flakes are part of OTC; pretty much nothing you can do about it other than enjoy it when it happens and just roll w/ it when she flakes.

Caveat:
Being an ITC regular may make her less needy for the OTC $$$ since she's getting it ($$$) ITC; but withholding ITC $$$ does not necessarily mean she won't flake-out OTC.

Agreed with GACA, always shop around, but dancers flake all the time. You can't treat it like you would a gf.

It sounds like you are getting fs itc. If that's the case I wouldn't sweat otc. If otc is the way to get fs then you have to decide if everything you're going through is worth it to fuck her otc.

Thanks for the four quick posts. Most helpful. I like Shailynn's "no tip" comment.

If she gave you no v.i.p. charge for flaking out the last time, let her continue being sorry. You have to decide if you want her to have the upper hand or not. If a dancer knows you are into her she can read that and work it to her advantage

Have you asked her why? Is she afraid of something? LE? Falling in love? Commitment? Put her on the spot. Guilt is good, too. Make her think you went out of your way or paid for a room and that her no show was a major inconvenience for you..

Strippers be crazy. I've been doing OTC for years and I still have strippers fail to show or come hours late. If they were responsible and reliable, they wouldn't be strippers.

I think Papi nailed it. Who knows why she keeps scheduling and flaking, but if the ITC is that good, why cut yourself off?

if you are still interested in OTC. the next time she brings it up suggest some thing a bit more tame. tell her honestly you don't want to get stood up again, pay for a room , time off from work or whatever. You understand she is a bit nervous so meet some place neutral. Coffee. no expectations but to discuss the situation and make sure you are both comfortable. Its worked for me.

I like the shop around idea. Roll with it though. An apology is something. One stood me up 3 times before OTC went down.

jackslash-->"Strippers be crazy. I've been doing OTC for years and I still have strippers fail to show or come hours late. If they were responsible and reliable, they wouldn't be strippers."

Bingo. For many strippers, there has been a lifetime of bad decisions (and often, tragic stories) that led to the point where stripping was the best option they had. You can't be surprised she still makes bad decisions, still has trouble remembering or meeting her commitments, still takes the passive-aggressive way out and does not cancel with you and ignores your texts and calls instead of just cancelling like an adult. The bad news is, there are a huge number of strippers who have these characteristics. Good news is, not all strippers are like that, I've run into reliable ones, and even among the unreliable ones, there's a sliding scale.

For me, this would be a two-strikes-you're-out sitch, as far as OTC. I'd go pursuing someone else for OTC. Whether or not you can forgive her enough to keep seeing her ITC is up to you -- once they've screwed me over twice, I'm pretty much through with them, but I understand it's not easy to do that if she's blowing your mind ITC.

culvercityboy-->"From the second visit on, we've gone VIP and it's been mind blowing for the both of us. In fact, after a session about a month ago, she muttered under her breath that it would be so much more fun OTC. I chalked it up to the moment. The next visit, she clearly was a bit nervous, so I asked what was going on. She fessed up that she thought she said something to me that she hadn't said to a guy in a long time. Bingo."

You definitely will not believe me, but I'd bet $10000 that it hasn't been mind blowing for BOTH of you... Everything about it was part of her hustle. Yes, I know, it felt SOOOO real! I guarantee you that her acting and hustle skills are far better than your bullshit detector. It's like trying to detect a stealth bomber with a 1950s radar system, it just won't happen.

My personal experience with strippers is that when they actually like me, I feel pursued, or AT MINIMUM, feel like we're peers. A stripper who is getting her mind blown sexually and loving every second is not going to blow off OTC with that guy even once, much less twice.

My $10000 bet: at most, she found your VIPs more fun than with most customers, and some small part of her meant the OTC offer at the time, but she massively regretted it. At worst, it was all scatterbrained hustle.

Very much appreciate all the feedback--very helpful.

Subraman--maybe I am just a PL getting totally played. Maybe having to be told twice by management that "time's up" means she does like it just a bit.

No shows go with the territory occasionally. Hell even the DS once stood me up. Nevertheless, there are a ton of good, reliable providers out there. In all of my many OTC outings, a dancer has only stood me up twice -- the DS who apologized and made it up to me, and a first time otc dancer that lost all of my business for good as a result.

So there is no reason to put up with this shit. Two no shows in a row is inexcusable, and should not be written off as just bitches being crazy. Either this girl is afraid to do OTC, or she is an unreliable flake, or both. Dont put up with any more abuse.

I would dump her for good. There are too many other good reasonably reliable providers to put up with such disrespect. But if you are happy with the ITC service and don't feel like replacing her, then by all means keep seeing her ITC. But I would never discuss OTC again unless she had a damn good explanation of why you should trust her. And even if that day comes, which I doubt, I would have a back up plan in case she doesn't show again.

Keep doing itc with her. Find another for otc if possible.

Sounds almost like a wife.

No, Clubber. She didn't make him take out the trash or go see a chick flick ;-)

AAC,

Ergo the "almost". :)

-->"Subraman--maybe I am just a PL getting totally played. Maybe having to be told twice by management that "time's up" means she does like it just a bit. "

I can certainly buy that she "likes it just a bit". It's when you described it as mind blowing for her, coupled with two missed (with no notice) OTCs, that's so incongruous that only a somewhat-infatuated PL could write them both in the same sentence and think it made sense :) Not busting your balls, but surely you have to see it yourself now that I point it out ... I mean, the total lack of respect of not just no-shows, but no shows where she never cancelled and ignored your texts when you asked where she was?

After having slept on it, I am leaning more towards Johnsmith's view ... it wasn't just a no show, it was a no show where she never cancelled and ignored your texts asking where she was (and I 100% guarantee you she was getting those texts, just chose to ignore them) -- and wait, then repeat the exact same thing? The lack of respect is galling, and I'd lose respect for MYSELF if I returned to her as her customer (and I'm speaking as someone who,in the past, has done exactly that, gone back to a stripper who shit all over me).

No stripper is so unique that you can't find just as good an experience -- maybe not the SAME experience, but one just as mind-blowing -- with another stripper if you look around enough. Really hard for me to consider going back.

Whatever you do, you have to promise to let us know what you've decided, and how it works out. We're all invested now!

It has been said above - as she sounds like a reliable sure thing itc. She also sounds like a flake OTC.

I'd recommend asking her straight up - why she flaked on you twice. If her excuse is reasonable - give her one more chance. Let her know the lengths you must go in order to setup your side of OTC. If she understands your costs - then ask her if she's ok with possibly losing you as a regular?

Don't do too much setup for the third try - as she's flaked twice - so don't get a hotel room until she's on her way to the hotel.