"Primarily" for the dancers here: If a patron buys dances from you but refuses y

42 comments

• londonguy

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  9 years ago

  I think it's rude of them to ask, a bit like asking for a tip. When they give you dances they can afford to buy their own. Next thing is they'll be asking them to pay their tip out fee and taxi home.
• rockstar666

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  9 years ago

  I never turn down a drink request from a dancer I'm buying dances from. But if someone I don't know asks, I have to decide then and there if I want her. I only remember once buying the drink and then dances. Usually I say no.
• georgmicrodong

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  9 years ago

  Slightly different circumstances pertain here in Louisville. All but two clubs that I know of have the drink hustle going, where "buy the lady a drink" means paying circa $20 for her drink, with the dancer getting in the neighborhood of 50% of that. So if you've bought and gotten your dances, and now don't want to buy her a drink, she's probably gone unless she wants to convince you to buy more dances.
• rockstar666

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  9 years ago

  Ah. At my club dancer drinks are $5 and I tip a buck, so I'm not going to grow broke. At $20 a pop it would be different!
• sclvr5005

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  9 years ago

  I have never had that happen. I know some clubs impose a drink minimum on the dancers, but I have never had a dancer leave me if I didn't buy her an overpriced energy drink.
• ellocohombre

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  9 years ago

  Well if is like most clubs, management encourages it. The drinks are usually watered down, so as the dancer doesn't get plastered. The clubs make their money on alcohol, and the dancer gets a feather in her cap. It does piss them off when you don't buy them a drink. I don't partake in drinking alcohol, and I politely decline the offer to buy hers.
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  If you are having fun with a dancer, and if she is giving you of her time to hang out with you, then buying her a drink seems like the least you could do. You are under no technical obligation to do so, but I bet a lot of dancers would've moved on after the interaction that you describe. True or not, she obviously concluded that you were cheap. So why the opposition to buying her a drink? "It's not my thing" really doesn't answer the question. And yes it would be best if she didn't have to ask. i would've offered before she had a chance to ask.
• Phoenix133

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  9 years ago

  Well, I'd say she probably thought you were out of money since you didn't get her a drink. I don't ask too often for drinks I usually just let the guy ask me if I want one (yes always yes feed me alcohol! ) if I already got a dance from you but knew you went to go get more money but refused to buy me a drink I probably would stay for a bit longer as long as we are having good conversation. However after sometime if nothing came of it. I'd excuse myself to go mingle around, cause as lovely as a conversation we maybe having I do need to make money. However if it's dead and every girl has every guy then yes I'm going to stick with you or if I know the other customers don't buy things or just not into me. the other thing is she might just think you are done spending except for stage and so she wants to try her other luck. I suppose kinda similar thing happened yesterday. This gentlemen loved me as soon as he seen me. (Which made the other girls mad since he just wanted to ignore them and only pay attention to me. ): ) I talked to him for a good while got him to tip some of the other girls then more people started to come in. I went on stage, the guy loved me more after. I tried to get him to buy a dance with me but he refused because he rather take me home and was afraid that if he got one he wouldnt be able to resist doing other things. I finally gave up on it and u ended up chatting to him for a bit longer. I then excused myself and went to chat with another customer no one had said hi even to him yet and to me that's not right. So I sat down with him and we started talking, good conversation, he vented to me about this girl he was seeing and his troubles with that. Shame cause he seemed like such a nice guy but the girl he was seeing had some life b issues that she just really needed to get together before she could get into a serious relationship like he wanted I stayed with him till it was my turn to go back on stage he got me a drink before I went up and left though when I went up. But granted he seemed tired and he told me he wasn't staying long this was his cool down spot before he went home. After that 3 other guests wanted me to talk with them so I did. Got a dance and a drink from them. It was towards the very end of the night so the guy I did the dance for was the last one of the night. I felt a bit bad that I never got to ho back to the 1st guy or even hot to tell him buy since I was upstairs giving a lap dance. (I always like to see my customers off.) But everyone wanted a turn at talking with me tonight and it was long enough with each I just didn't get a chance like usual. :/
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  On the one hand, I get why guys are a bit gunshy, this isn't a date and you don't owe her anything except straight payment for services rendered. That said, she's an actual person, andwhile she can of course buy her own drink, this is one of those rare cases where I tend to side with the girls -- just comes off as rude and cheap not to, on top of embarrassment for getting turned down on such a minor request. On top of that, buying her a drink is often one of the best deals in the club, particularly if you take care not to let her order a $20 drink, which just takes the tiniest bit of assertiveness and backbone. The etiquette in some of the clubs I go to is, if you buy her a drink, she stays with you while she drinks it, which could be 20-30 minutes for an $8 investment... Best deal in the club.
• jackslash

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  9 years ago

  I buy drinks for dancers when I want them to hang out with me. If I know a stripper and she gives me a good time, I don't mind if she asks me for a drink.
• lopaw

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  9 years ago

  I have never had a dancer ask me to buy her a drink. Plenty of waitresses have asked me to buy the dancer a drink, tho. I WISH that the damn waitresses would leave and not come back.
• gawker

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  9 years ago

  My current fave tosses drinks down faster than I and she drinks Patron & Brandy which you'd think would knock her on her ass, but if she's with me I'll keep buying. I know bartenders there and they don't water down the dancer's drinks.
• runrdude

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  9 years ago

  At one of my favorite clubs the dancers have to have 10 drinks bought for them per shift or they have to pay for them. If I am going to play with one or enjoying their company I will buy drinks. Most of the girls I hang out with drink full strength and that can lead to more fun in the back. Just part of the luxury tax.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  It's their sense of entitlement – *we* are there to spend as *they* wish – their money is their money and our money is also their money; as they see it (consciously or subconsciously). In their eyes: + we should consider ourselves lucky they are even talking to us + spending our $$$ on them is not an expenditure but a privilege + they demand to be treated as a lady while they are trying to fleece-us for every penny we have + we are only there for ONE reason – to give them ALL the money we have – o/w we are the scum of the earth Not saying it applies to ALL dancers but def quite a few.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  I probably buy drinks for dancers maybe 10% of the time since I'm not a drinker myself and prefer to use my funds for my fun not theirs. I sometimes buy dancers drinks: + if she's hanging w/ me for some time b/c I want her to hangout w/ me; not b/c she is giving me her sales-pitch (but that is usually not the case for me since I just like getting dances then being left alone) + or she did a fairly-long string of dances for me and put in some work I often get asked for drinks by dancers that approach me and I don't necessarily hang-out with and I pretty-much always say no. Bottom-line; if she's asking she probably feels entitled to one (strike) – and if she gets upset at you not spending *your* $$$ then that also says to her entitlement (strike) – and many of these same dancers will chew your head-off god-forbid you short-her $5 b/c you may have ran out of $$$ w/o noticing (strike). Again – not all - but many.
• ilbbaicnl

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  9 years ago

  I prefer clubs without a drink hustle, or dancers who are smart enough to not risk a custy who buys lots of dances by trying to hustle drinks as well. If a dancer is dumb enough be looking for free booze when she could be in the money zone with the next PL, she's too dumb to know she has to give you a good dance to keep you coming back. If I want to hang with a dancer, I come when the club is slow. But, with most of them, they seem phony, putting on an act, which doesn't interest me except during a dance.
• yegi

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  9 years ago

  Some dancers just like to drink and/or have to drink to be at the club. I hate to say it like this, but a lot of dancers I know have to drink at work because it helps them feel like they function better. Sometimes these girls are annoying because they'll camp a good customer all day as long as he's buying her alcohol, but won't ask the guy to do dances when I could swoop in there and get that money. Once in a while I've worked at clubs that have some sort of drink commission where the girl makes money off drinks the guy buys her. I don't think this was the case here. Just scrolled up and saw Phoenix133's comment and it's also possible that she thought you were done spending. Buying a drink can often be a good gauge to see if the guy came in to spend money.
• sharkhunter

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  9 years ago

  I hate it when a dancer just sat down with you and a waitress comes over and asks you if you would like to buy the dancer a drink. In that case, more than 80% to 90% of the time I will just say no because it seems so much like a drink hustle. I do occasionally buy drinks though but I like to know if there is any chemistry between me and the dancer. If a dancer feels entitled and is rude about it, she can forget ever bothering to ask me for dances because I won't be interested. Rude is sitting with me for a few seconds, asking for a drink in a place where waitresses are slow, then excusing herself and coming back just for a minute to pick it up. Then later on she comes back and asks for a dance. I probably refused to buy any drink for any dancer that night. This was years ago but the rudest dancer I ever had who asked for a drink.
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  yegi---> "Sometimes these girls are annoying because they'll camp a good customer all day as long as he's buying her alcohol, but won't ask the guy to do dances when I could swoop in there and get that money." From my previous posts, you can probably guess that I LOVE THOSE GIRLS, and am grateful that there are so many of them. Here's something that happened to me about 6 weeks ago. I'm sitting with CF on a relatively slow day, so her BFF stripper (a gorgeous redhead) comes by and hangs out with us. Over the course of the next 45 minutes, I buy her two drinks -- $6 each including tip -- and the three of us joke and grope and flirt and talk shit. I am only doing dances with my CF, so after 45 minutes, BFF stripper wanders over to the customer at the next table over, talks with him for 5 minutes, and gets him to buy a 2-songs-for-$60 dance from her. She does the dances, goes back to his table, but he's evidently a non-drink-buying cheapass, so she immediately comes back to my table again. I buy her another $6 drink and she hangs out. Here's the delicious irony of all this. Cheapass paid $60 to be with her for 7 minutes, and all he got to touch during those 7 minutes were her legs and waist -- the bouncers prowl the lapdance area aggressively in alcohol clubs here. I paid $24, hung out with her over an hour at my table, touched her pussy, had my hands in her asscrack multiple times, received a little stickshifting, and had just a fuckload of fun with two girls at my table. The beauty of all this is that it repeats itself constantly, it's not a one-off thing. Dancers hang with me for hours, often multiple girls at the table, all for the miniscule investment of a drink, while cheapasses sit around complaining and getting minimal service. All it takes is the modest amount of backbone to control what she orders -- I ask her what she wants, and if she asks for Johnny Walker Black, I tell her I ordering the house whiskey, and does she want some or not? -- and then I order it for her. That's it. I love it that so many guys have some weird thing about such a small gesture, I'm definitely getting the benefits while they complain..
• Mistah_Fetti_Morbuxxx

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  9 years ago

  I typically only buy drinks under three conditions: 1.) If I am hanging out with one of my favorites. 2.) As a reward for putting forth the extra effort in giving me great floor dances. 3.) As a reward for delivering in VIP. I don't mind buying drinks for dancers but I do limit the drink buying to two per visit. Afterwards I'd rather use the rest of my money for dances.
• rickdugan

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  9 years ago

  Everything that Subraman has said. Those of you non-drinkers who refuse to buy dancer drinks can have those uptight bottled water drinking chicks all day long. Seriously. I'll take the hot party girl who needs 3 shots just to start her shift, and is eternally grateful for those shots, any time.
• Mistah_Fetti_Morbuxxx

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  9 years ago

  ^^^Eh, different strokes for different folks man. Everybody has their own method of how they want to spend their hard-earned money in the clubs. I personally don't like drunk women and even drunk strippers less based on past underwhelming experiences and such and I damn sure not going to get a girl drunk on my dime with nothing extra to gain from it.
• Clackport

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  9 years ago

  I agree with Mistah Fetti, I don't like my dancers drunk.
• Estafador

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  9 years ago

  @Johnsmith69 Dude, she's giving me her time because I'm PAYING for it. You act like she's god's gift to earth. If she really was, she wouldn't even be in the strip club but she is. Paying for her time through buying lap dances is enough. Not like she would stay if I didn't even do that. So what in THE HELL makes buying her a drink so damn different and important? She probably doesn't even drink so what would that drink purchase do for her? put $10 in her pocket (most dancer drinks in NY are $20+). You kinda sound like a simp to me.
• Estafador

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  9 years ago

  To all those stating buying a lady a drink helps with getting better service, you must have never been in NY state. You can buy a lady a drink for DAYS, and the most you'll get is "thank you, vanna dance?". I bought a lady a drink once (I was feeling super cool since it was tax day, of course never again will I delude myself just because it was tax day), actually bought her and two more ladies a few (more than 2) and all I got was thank you, some talking; I was trying to get a lap dance but wasn't trying to rush her since she seemed more incline to talking for the time being; and two ladies immediately left to another patron saying "brb". The last lady did dance but immediately dumped me for another patron. I guess he was a gentleman he was waiting for. So what part of proper courtesy should I show after that?
• Estafador

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  9 years ago

  @yegi sounds like destroying the braincells by drinking seems far easier than (and more "fun") than actually dancing which requires physical excretion. Makes a bit of sense. But don't you make more actually dancing than helping the club sell booze?
• Estafador

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  9 years ago

  @subraman sounds like your neck of the woods treats you damn fine. I guess it all depends on where you from because out in NY you'd NEVER get such treatment from dances alone. How strange.
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  Estafador: you're in NY state, not city, and drinks don't buy you any love? Well that sucks. Even if you make it clear that you want to do dances but just want to drink with her first? I read in another thread you go to black clubs, and of course Papi schooled us in that thread that black clubs work differently -- is this specifically a black club thing, or every club thing?
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  Mistah_Fetti--> "^^^Eh, different strokes for different folks man. Everybody has their own method of how they want to spend their hard-earned money in the clubs. I personally don't like drunk women and even drunk strippers less based on past underwhelming experiences and such and I damn sure not going to get a girl drunk on my dime with nothing extra to gain from it." Well, can't argue "different strokes", you have to go with the experience you enjoy the most. That said, in your position, I'd probably explain to the stripper so she knows what's up ("I enjoy it more if we're sober, is that ok?") and then offer her a redbull or water (Yes, back to buying drinks :) Your statement about underwhelming experiences seems like it's from an entirely different universe to me. Well, okay, if the stripper is sloppy drunk, then things can go bad. In general, people with deep emotional issues can be terrible drunks. So getting a stripper sloppy drunk is a crap shoot, it could be mind-blowing or horrible. I have to admit, I sometimes roll the dice and see what comes up :) That said, I don't think I've EVER not had a better experience with a girl who is happy-buzzed. They are an absolute delight of flirtiness and customer-favoring decisions (giving me way more time and sometimes just sitting around drinking for the longest time, being more permissive in the back, etc) when they're happy-buzzed
• Estafador

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  9 years ago

  well to be frank I'm in NYC BUT i've travelled across the city and L.I. so that's why I say the state.
• Estafador

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  9 years ago

  @subraman Black clubs actually treat you way different than any other club. Or at least black "dives" I never been to starlets or Sue's Rendezvous II which seem to be more "higher class" black clubs
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  “... Buying a drink can often be a good gauge to see if the guy came in to spend money ...” Perception is not always reality; particularly in strip-clubs. There are many custies that like to drink at the club and they spend very little if anything on dances; they just like to hang-out; drink; talk to the girls; and enjoy the atmosphere. There are also dudes that are good stage-tippers and that is what they like to-do and these can also be types to not buy dances. I would even go out on a PL-limb and say the more a custy spends on drinks and stage-tipping; the less he'll probably spend on VIP or dances. I say this b/c for most custies; $$$ is an issue; i.e. there is only so much they can/are-willing-to spend in a club; and thus the more they spend on drinks/stage-tipping the less they have for VIP/dances – not saying this is a universal PLism; but IMO it may often apply. Then there are hardcore SCers that don't necessarily go for the SC ambiance or the social/party aspect of it and just go to exclusively enjoy the women via lots of dances or VIP. Perception not being reality particularly in SCs; a lot of dancers will think a custy is cheap b/c he does not buy drinks nor stage-tip; but that is an incorrect assumption IMO that only serves for many a custy at-times walking out of clubs with a whole bunch of $$$ they were intending to spend. It's not spending vs not-spending; it's how each particular person/custy chooses to spend their $$$. Some SCers are “flashy” and “the life of the SC-party” with their drink-buying and stage-tipping; but that is all they do; i.e. more style that substance – similar to the guy one sees on the street dressed like a million bucks but can't afford to even own a car and the guy you see driving a Chevy pickup and is a multi-millionaire.
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  "It's not spending vs not-spending; it's how each particular person/custy chooses to spend their $$$." I absolutely agree, I think it's all about getting the experience you want at the price you can afford. That said, if you do something that you know in advance MIGHT BE PERCEIVED as rude or cheap by the strippers, you should accept the consequences gracefully, not complain about them, IMO. Just move on and find a stripper who is happy with just dances with you, and don't get too jealous that the dancer you wouldn't buy a drink has been at my table getting groped for the last half hour, all because I bought her a $6 shot :) I actually use the little spiel about how to spend my $$$ when dancers want more expensive drinks, which many do. I'll tell them straight up -- "I brought $100 for drinks and food, and the rest for VIPs with you. If we do Ketel One, we can do 3 rounds, then anything more means I do fewer VIPs with you today. If we do the house vodka, We can do all the rounds you want and I can still buy you lunch. Your choice." They always choose the house vodka :) With some girls, we do fun little mix-and-match rituals like "for our 4th round, we'll do Ketel One". She sticks to me like glue and gets more and more excited as we approach our 4th (or whatever round I picked) round, and as we get more and more buzzed. I always do our first VIP after the premium liquor round lol!
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  As we all know; it's all about the $$$. I'm always cognizant a dancer is there to make $$$ - thus I pretty-much never take up a dancer's time whose time I want if I don't have the intention of spending $$$ on her usually via getting dances (and a drink if I spend a good amount of time talking w/ her w/o getting to dances; but this is usually not the case for me). If one wants to spend an extended amount of time w/ a dancer w/o necessarily getting dances; then yeah; buying her a drink(s) *is* a good way to do-that. Being cognizant her time is valuable IMO a dancer needs to be getting something out of her time w/ a custy; but in the end it's all about the $$$ - i.e. not buying a dancer a drink does not mean you can't get with that dancer (at least most of them) if one is willing to spend on-her in other ways; e.g. dances; etc. As we often state; we all have our different ways of enjoying the SCs; for me I don't necessarily care for engaging dancers in convos for extended periods of time; I've actually found having convos with other custies more interesting; thus I get what I want from the dancers by spending via dances and at least for me I often don't have issues w/ not buying drinks and subsequently not getting dancers' attention– I go for dances; and once other dancers notice a custy buying dances; IME often times other dancers will make their way to you to get theirs. More than one-way to skin-a-dancer I suppose; strip-clubs are not free nor is a dancer's time/attention; depending on what a custy wants there are different ways to keep a stripper happy so she can keep a custy happy.
• s88

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  9 years ago

  I agree with Estafador about NY clubs. Dancer small talks for 60 secs, asks for drink, buy a drink, waitress delivers it, dancer runs off to backroom not to be seen until her next pole rotation 1 hour away. Outside of NY, I've had good experience with "buy a drink get atleast 10 minutes of talk". If I see 10 minutes go by with a dancer and she hasn't gotten any $s from me yet, and I dont plan to LD with her (ugly, too big, etc), but if she was a good talker, I'll suggest a drink. I even once got a dancer a drink at the 18 minute mark when she said she had to leave to "make money" (being honest) as a goodbye present since she got zero dollars from me. If I get pitches for drinks in 1 minute, or waitress hounds for drinks, I am unlikely to say yes, since the dancers have drink quotas and it will be 1 drink per song at the rate she drinks her watered down OJ, might as well get LDs for only 30% more per minute.
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  ---> "As we all know; it's all about the $$$." Papi, we disagree there -- It's definitely not all about the dollars... I've had a zillion experiences at the strip club that prove that ad infinitum. I don't know how many times girls have spent a lot of time with me, knowing it wasn't the way to optimize their income. It turns out, they're people, and even though the $$$ are a huge motivation, they have other motivations, as well as the need for coping mechanisms, etc. Only on SW is that not true. In real life, they are not machines who only value $$$ and nothing else. Similarly,at my work, sometimes I just get up and wander around and talk shit with people, helps me clear my head and build focus and energy for $-making activities later. --->"If one wants to spend an extended amount of time w/ a dancer w/o necessarily getting dances; then yeah; buying her a drink(s) *is* a good way to do-that. Being cognizant her time is valuable IMO a dancer needs to be getting something out of her time w/ a custy;" So, I agree and disagree. In the case I described above, where I was sitting with my CF and her BFF, I always spend $ on my CF, and she knows it. I can be there for 2 hours talking with her before we even do our first VIP, and she never even mentions it, because she knows it's coming or I wouldn't take her time. Similarly, the BFF knows for sure that I will NOT be doing any dances with her, but will buy her drinks as long as she's there (in fact, she knows from previous times hanging out that that's the case). I do not ever believe in wasting a dancer's time, but once I've told her clearly there won't be any dances, if she continues to hang out for whatever reason, SHE'S AN ADULT and it's not my job to chase her away. If during the slow periods, what BFF prefers is to have a fun conversation with CF (her real-life friend) and have me buy her drinks, while she keeps her energy and mood high for the later busy time -- there is nothing remotely wrong with it. The ONLY way it's even remotely wrong, IMO, is if I weren't clear that I wouldn't be buying dances, and basically tricked her into wasting time with me. I've had as many as 3-4 girls at my table at slow times, I imagine because the girls would rather be there drinking than wasting a ton of energy on a slow low-energy cheap crowd; sometimes one wanders away, gets some dances, comes back again. I regularly pat myself on the back for this :)
• yegi

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  9 years ago

  @Estafador Regarding killing brain cells I do feel for some of the girls. As much as I enjoy a drink, it's hard because I remember dancing nearly full time I would get offered drinks left and right. As much fun as it sounds, having multiple drinks a day is not something I could do every single day. So I get it that some dancers don't want to drink if they're working a bunch of hours at the club. It's really hard on the body and can lead to so many issues later in life. @Papi_Chulo You are right. At the club I recently went to a customer buying a dancer a drink is a good gauge, but it still really comes down to a numbers game. Doesn't necessarily mean "good customer" and will do dances if he's buying drinks. @Subraman And I am glad too sometimes for guys that only buy drinks. I had an old club regular who only bought drinks for people, but never did dances. We all knew he was always reliable for a drink if we needed a break.
• ReiDetroit

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  9 years ago

  I'm not a big fan of alcohol, so I don't and have never asked a customer to buy me a drink. If they offer I will usually get a jager bomb or just a simple Red Bull. Otherwise, I'm just happy making what I can through dances. That $5-$8 spent on a drink or a shot can be put to other uses as a tip from a dance(s) if the customer chooses to tip me. Now if I am already at the bar trying to order and someone comes up and offers to buy my beverage, but not dance - then yes I still accept the free (to me) drink but I walk away afterward. I don't have time to "get to know you" nor do I want to "go out" with anyone who can't at least buy a few dances. Where would he take me to? McDonald's $1 menu?? lol I am currently taking a nerve pain killer anyway, so I couldn't drink if I wanted to. And many customers seem disappointed when I just order Red Bull, but usually understand once I tell them why I can't drink. :(
• Estafador

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  9 years ago

  @ReiDetroit sounds like you proving me right that drinks don't necessarily make a lady sit down and talk about life. They will still tend to say thanks and walk away. Your case seems very understandable so I won't berate you about it. Pills and alcohol don't mix and should never do.
• former_stripper

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  9 years ago

  Never a fan of having a customer buy me a drink. I once worked in a club where we were supposed to push this more than dances and I hated it. I don't drink, plus I can make more money with dances in a shorter amount of time with little conversation.
• ReiDetroit

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  9 years ago

  Well, some girls do want to sit and chat. It's just my prerogative not to since I can't drink anyway. I work at a club with a lot of ladies who have DUIs or have to blow into their steering wheel's breathalyzer thingie. Some girls will sit over drinks and some don't. It really just differs from girl to girl.
• Dancer_

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  9 years ago

  @estafador is so right, lol, buying drinks in NYC won't get you anything close to what subraman described. And frankly, this girl was being retarted. I don't think too well about strippers who are ready to sit for hours with customers as long as those are buying them drinks. If she hustled harder and faster, she would have money for drinks AND something to take home. I just don't understand why she can't go to a regular bar for that. Personally I am one of those "uptight, bottle water drinking chicks", so never ask about drinks. And not that they will pay my bills, anyway.