RATE MY REVIEW: Cadillac Lounge, Prov., RI

I believe reviews s/b unique to that persons style so no advice except if you got dances on ur visit include some details on that and more detail on what the girls looked like.

"(even after indoor prostitution became illegal in RI)" It used to be legal? So if it's outdoor is it still legal?

Heh. Indoor prostitution in RI was legal. That lasted from 1980 to 2009, or as we like to refer to that time period ... "The Golden Age". NUTSHELL: In 1980, it was discovered that the arcane language in RI state law made *only* streetwalking illegal; solicitation taking place indoors was 100% legal. Sadly, the loophole was closed in 2009.

Here's the full story:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostituti…

I give this review 4 Moby Dicks.

Not to nitpick but since you want feedback:

+ when giving an abbreviation of the club name better to put the full name at least once (preferably at the beginning) followed by the abbreviation; e.g.

“Visited Cadillac Lounge (CL) on …” vs writing “Visited CL on ...” - although the review *is* of Cadillac Lounge; the reader may not make the CL connection right away (especially since there are often many different abbreviations used on TUSCL and some may think CL stands for something else)

+ state the cover charge and if dayshift is free

+ parking (plenty, small) – parking fee (if it's free state so)

+ # of dancers – hard to often tell but one can guesstimate (although a range can be specified; the range is too coarse – i.e. 12 dancers would be in the “11 to 25” range but 12 is significantly different than 24)

+ dance prices – are dances good mileage or is touching discouraged (are they topless or nude)

+ although extras can vary in cost; you can specify the VIP room fee and time length

+ dancers – although there can be all types; this is too generic (kinda like saying they all have vaginas) – is the club predominantly white (2 black girls is not really mixed); if it's mostly white girls then say so and say there are maybe 2 black and a couple of Hispanics – also; are most dancers on the thin side or is it a thick girl's club; what would be the avg dancer rating out of 10 (e.g avg dancer 7/10 with a couple of 9s but no-one below a 6)

+ privacy of dance area (fully private; semi; in the open)

Nice review Ishmael! Keep it up. As mentioned, most writers have their own style. Some funny. Some serious. If you get extras keep the dancers name omitted so you don't cause them trouble. Robs ( rip off bitches ) should be named so they can't rip off other customers. Read some reviews and see the different styles.

Papi Chulo has a reputation for very informative, well written reviews.

Once you write a few you will find your own style

Listen to Papi , he is hands down the best reviewer out there, anyplace, his advice is better than I or anyone else could give.

Papi is the master reviewer here and his thoughts are spot on. I would take those to heart but I like the format you use. That way if I'm a regular I can avoid the details of the club I already know. But as was stated before, more info about dancers and prices is helpful so someone coming in can look like they've been there before and maybe get more mileage because they are not "New" even though they are.

Many thanks (especially to Papi_Chulo). That's exactly the feedback I needed.

Call.Me,

Papi, does write well, but sometimes he uses abbreviations that I do not know and can't figure out. Not that big a deal, but it's just time wasted thinking about it. Also, I enjoy a more condensed version.

Not Papi related, but for ALL reviewers, UPDATE THE CLUB DETAILS!!!

RE:
Club Type:
Dancer Ethnicity:
Dance Prices:
Drink Prices:
Daytime Cover:
Nighttime Cover: 5
Hours:
Features:

And on and on. Especially important to those of us that travel.

I appreciate your review since you obviously put thought and effort into it and you give us real information about the club. Hell, you're even asking for constructive criticism, which shows you have real balls!

There are too many reviews on TUSCL with two or three lines of vague bullshit. "I went to the clu. Sw sum nekkid women. Left cuz it sukkd!" Those are the bad reviews and waste everyone's time.

Yeah – my reviews are painfully detailed – they are more like a spec-sheet/white-paper – even I have trouble reading thru one of my reviews (they are more like a a book about the club vs a chapter).

RickDugan gets a lot of flack on here – but IMO he writes good reviews with a precise balance of details and length (i.e. detailed enough w/o it being longer than it has to be).

Seems to me there are two types of reviews:
1. The detailed recipe/travelogue type review -- all details and ingredients recorded as SC encyclopedia.
2. The summary of a visit as if the reviewer is an old friend recounting last nights highs and lows.

Both are informative and entertaining in their own ways and I enjoy reading each.

Would like to give +1 to hassenp -- a 3 line review with no details AND no narrative is a waste of space and time.

I thought I was the best Raviewer ?

You know how many painful hours ?

Some times weeks and month's over just one paragraph in one review

I base my reviews on being the most helpful to the next monger and whether he (or I if I was him) should visit or not. Since I can't wear Google glasses to record experience, I try to write as if it is a transcript of a video. I write the reviews while in the club during ugly dancer rotations and clean them up afterwards.

Most important things are dancer types, prices and service range (LD types vs price, room types vs price), and upscale/downscale atmosphere. I dont want a LD from whale who weighs more than me. SCs have an informal or FORMAL dress code. Should I wear a suit in a SC where everyone else is wearing paint splashed overalls from work, or flat bill caps with hoodies and face tats? Is the neighborhood rough or normal? Will there be a low rider tailgate party in the parking lot of the SC when I get there? Will security not let me in because I wore shorts?

Do I bring $100 per hour or $1000 per hour? Are the waitresses and CCTV watching guy required to maintain a tally of drinks or services bought per hour by a custie? Does the owner review CCTV tapes to make sure that waitresses and bouncers made their quota in selling services? One SC dancer told me at their club they have a quota of dancer drinks to sell, their house fee is equal to a certain number of dancer drinks, if they meet the quota, they dont pay a house fee that night, it is easier to get the house fee comped through selling drinks than through dance tips. I just gave her $40 directly to buy out her house fee for 30 minutes of chatting at a no LD no VIP SC. There was a slight argument between the waitress and the dancer, and dancer told me, they wont stop pressuring her because it is "for her own good to hit the quota". On the 2nd attempt of the waitress was trying to get me to buy drinks for the dancer, the dancer stepped in and it got high tension between the dancer and waitress, with the dancer telling the waitress to fuck off in colorful language.

Is failing to spend $100 within 15 minutes going to result in bouncers giving me an ultimatum that either I buy X LDs or drinks right now infront of them with this ugly dancer, or I must leave immediately? If I decline to open a tab with a CC, will the waitress call security? Is this a hostess club type place, where an ugly dancer will be assigned to me when I walk in, and I say "no thanks" or "maybe later", the dancer will run to security and tell them Im LEO which leads to me being asked to leave? Is refusing the VIP room offer going to cause ejection? not the kind you want I might add.

In one upscale SC I was at I was told I can stand only near the bar, on the opposite wall furthest from the stage, because all the seats and tables remotely close to the 3 stages are for bottle reservations only. After asking the bouncer how am I supposed to tip the girls on the stage, the bouncer just repeated "sorry, you can't be in this area without a bottle reservation". You need binoculars hanging around neck to get anything out of this SC without bottle service. Bottles start at $700. Not coming back.

Metal detectors? Should the SC have metal detectors in your opinion? Do you have to be pated down to enter? Do you have have a mug shot (pose for a photo) taken to enter the SC? Do you have to sign a contract? Do they scan the barcode or swipe your drivers license and will record your legal name and home address (hence give them a passport)? Does the SC have a off duty armed uniformed cop or cops for security? I've seen that once, yes the badge said City of X Police Department, it was not an armed security guard with a tactical vest. Local newspapers in that city kvetch every couple years at the outrage that this fully nude SC is hiring the city's bravest and the Mayor won't issue an order firing any cop who is caught working there. Not sure if an armed uniformed cop working security at a SC in the USA is a good thing or a bad thing.

Tuscl is a good site for knowing the best SC to try in a city, than walk into a clip joint that is pure tease and no fun. Or walk into a SC and all the dancers and bouncers look at you like you are LEO and the club must "shut down" until you leave. In one upscale SC I visited, a male bouncer was my waiter for my whole visit, yet all other customers had female waitresses. A different male bouncer seated me, all other customers were seated by a female hostess after me. The female hostess wouldnt say a word to me when I walked in and was just smiling, and just looked at the bouncer next to her, and then he greeted me, checked my ID, lead me to the cover cashier/coat check (normally the female hostesses job), then to my table (female hostess was supposed to do this), then another bouncer was my waiter (all other customers had female waitresses). I obviously wasn't welcome at this SC but they couldn't tell me to leave. I knew me being served drinks by a male bouncer was a test if I would crack and complain about it, so they can eject me. Dancers did do rounds on me and I got uneventful LDs, in spite of the staff treating me like dirt. The club on tuscl was a new location in a chain of SCs I never was to before and had only useless 2 sentence reviews on tuscl.

And this is y when you see juice in the club i always have a pen and a pad working hard on the details of the review

Hell some times i read it to the girls and get their feedback

Sooo when did clubbing go from getting drunk, fuckin a stripper then writing a one paragraph review 3 months later while taking a casual shit at work to this God damn Theses Report ?

It was ok, but kinda' generic. I could have picked up most of that with a quick walkthrough of the club and the rest by reading historical reviews. Far from the worst review i ever read, but I didn't walk away with much real intel.

The good stuff is whatever you can share about your particular experiences. Little tidbits about how the dancers behaved, the overall vibe, unique things that you saw or heard, etc., are valuable intel and provide good color. Even better if, in a place like this, you expand upon your own experiences with taking girls to the VIP.

Another thing that would have been nice is to understand the cash burn, including how much you paid for drinks, what you were quoted by dancers for xyz, etc. Again, specifics about your visit that help us understand how pricey things might be.

But in any event, welcome and thanks for the info.

Again, many thanks for the feedback. It's appreciated.

I'm getting the sense that the more useful and enjoyable reviews are less journalistic and more experiential (without veering into the realm of fiction). Sort of a low-intensity mash up of Tom Wolfe and Hunter S. Thompson (but, you know, in a strip club).

All the best,
Ishmael

Dis review off da chain

It's also over 5 years old. Feel free to ignore.

Indoor prostitution was NEVER legal in Rhode Island; it was just not illegal. Backstory: Prostitution was illegal in Rhode Island, but the statute was so poorly worded that street-walkers weren't illegal and became a problem. In a huge rush the legislature closed the loophole by making outdoor prostitution illegal, but being government, fucked up the drafting and forgot to include indoor prostitution. That didn't make it legal, just not illegal. People make a big deal about this, but in reality the Government just let it go because prostitution in strip clubs was always grounds to cancel entertainment/liquor licenses.