Help!!!

48 comments

• Daybreaker

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  9 years ago

  Say you need to go to the bathroom!
• rickdugan

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  9 years ago

  Man up and tell her "Honey, I don't mean to be rude, but if you don't mind I would like to chill out by myself for a while." it's the line I use to move boring/obnoxious girls out of the seat next to me and it should work on fugly fat lap girl too, unless she is really desperate. And if all else fails, simply go to the bathroom.
• Lone_Wolf

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  9 years ago

  Go tip a dancer on stage.
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  9 years ago

  In times like this, it is perfectly acceptable to fake an epileptic seizure.
• twentyfive

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  9 years ago

  Fart
• san_jose_guy

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  9 years ago

  Ha Ha Ha! And you are still able to make posts? No matter, JUST FUCK HER! SJG
• Duke69

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  9 years ago

  If papi chulo was their you could just pass the thickness of to him so he could go ham
• san_jose_guy

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  9 years ago

  :) SJG
• alabegonz

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  9 years ago

  This is so funny. If you don't mind, what's the name of the club, I might check it out, man. Haha, too funny. Tell her you don't have money to buy dances, you're broke. She might give money instead.
• san_jose_guy

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  9 years ago

  Ranukam, it serves you right for holding to your excessively high standard for looks at all these clubs. SJG
• lopaw

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  9 years ago

  If you could only reach the fire alarm.............!
• chessmaster

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  9 years ago

  Don't know bro. Can't help. Maybe the price of the lap dance is worth getting rid of her.
• tumblingdice

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  9 years ago

  Show her your 2014 W-2.
• just_the_nuts

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  9 years ago

  Bust a Rap....that should work Ooooo...burn...yea i know lol
• ATACdawg

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  9 years ago

  Pinch her ass! Hard! Brutally! It shouldn't be hard to find it. ;-)
• ATACdawg

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  9 years ago

  Or you could take the high road and fake being crushed to death.....
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  Fake a heart-attack.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  Tell her they are handing out free KFC out in the parking-lot
• crazyjoe

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  9 years ago

  Shit, i feel your pain bro. This is when a chicken wing would come in handy. You need a distraction
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  Is she black or white?
• mikeya02

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  9 years ago

  Text an employee to ring the dinner bell
• IHearVoices

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  9 years ago

  Tell her that if she doesn't move, her seat's about to get real wet...and sticky.
• rockstar666

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  9 years ago

  OMG where's Dougster when you need him? Just tell her you're not interested! Or ask for BBBJ.
• sharkhunter

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  9 years ago

  Simple if you want her off you. Tell her your legs are filling asleep or ask her to sit in a chair. If you want her to leave, just say it was nice talking but you're waiting on someone else. She'll get the hint unless she just wants to waste your time or doesn't want to move. If that doesn't work and without getting rude, get up to tip girls or use the restroom. A bit more blunt is simply to tell her you're not interested in her and if she asks why, just tell her you like skinnier girls. She probably won't bother you anymore.
• sharkhunter

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  9 years ago

  I occassionally ask a dancer to shift if she is sitting on me and she becomes uncomfortable.
• chessmaster

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  9 years ago

  On a serious note follow rock stars advice. Ask her how much for a bj?
• chessmaster

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  9 years ago

  Better yet tell her she needs to lose weight.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  Yeah; it sucks when a fugly comes and sits on you uninvited – that is why I sometimes cross one leg over another and keep it in that position for a good-part of the visit in order to fend-off potential offenders.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  Text someone and tell then to call-in a bomb threat
• sharkhunter

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  9 years ago

  Just tell you're glad she showed up because you just farted and didn't want to be all alone.
• Clackport

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  9 years ago

  You motherfuckers have me dying in laughter! Lol!
• Corvus

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  9 years ago

  Show her this thread. Then stand up, fast.
• Clackport

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  9 years ago

  Funniest responses so far: faking a heart attack, calling in a bomb threat, pulling the fire alarm, fake being crushed to death, fake having a epileptic seizure. @Papi- she's black @alabegonz- the club is Tommy's Too, high mileage club, but 80% of the girls here are ugggly. She finally got off my lap because she had to go on stage. I'm glad I didn't have to be an asshole, but damn my legs are numb right now.
• Corvus

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  9 years ago

  When she finishes on stage and comes back to you, you better put your legs under the table. Or better yet find a skinny girl to sit on your lap.
• crazyjoe

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  9 years ago

  Yell soey soooey soooey
• crazyjoe

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  9 years ago

  She go oink oink
• Daybreaker

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  9 years ago

  Tell her you have an ostomy bag and you think you may have sprung a leak.
• Daybreaker

  •

  9 years ago

  You'll be a hit at that club forevermore.
• bubba267

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  9 years ago

  Tell her the free buffet just opened......
• etsutwigg222

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  9 years ago

  Grow some balls......Drop an air biscuit. Or better yet tell her to meet you in VIP for a BBBJCIM with swallow.
• Clackport

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  9 years ago

  Extras are pretty common at this club, so if I asked for her for a BBBJ, she likely would have said yes. The only thing worse than having a fugly sitting on your lap is having a fugly suck your dick.
• ATACdawg

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  9 years ago

  Ask her if you can get a bbbj. When she says yes, tell her you'll meet her in VIP after you go to the bathroom. Pause at the door and as soon as she disappears, run like hell!
• just_the_nuts

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  9 years ago

  The only thing worse than having a fugly sitting on your lap is having a fugly suck your dick. Unless its FREE
• alabegonz

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  9 years ago

  Haha, cool bro. I will check the place out. I'm cool with any clubs in PDX.
• sharkhunter

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  9 years ago

  but if she sucks your dick long enough, does that mean. moo mooo. mooarraige? :)
• crazyjoe

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  9 years ago

  Funny shit
• rickdugan

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  9 years ago

  Ranukam posted: "She finally got off my lap because she had to go on stage. I'm glad I didn't have to be an asshole, but damn my legs are numb right now." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nothing wrong with being a so-called "asshole" to a girl who you have no interest in. Your time is limited and so is hers. In fact, if you have no intention of paying her, then you're doing her a kindness by being direct and moving her along. My patience would have been gone in about 10 seconds and, 30 second or less later, so would she. I'm not taking shots at anyone who has trouble being as direct as I am, but just saying that my impatience quickly overpowers my very limited concerns about what a girl that I don't want anyone thinks about me.
• san_jose_guy

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  9 years ago

  So Ranukam, how did this finally end up? Have you spent the last couple of days shacked up with her? She didn't break your bed did she? So where is she now. Maybe I'll like her. Or maybe Papi will. Talk of the Town, Las Vegas [view link] SJG [view link] White Stripes Live at Peppermint Parade [view link]