The door to door jesus people will never knock on my door again lol
The other day I get out of the shower and open the door and here stands the door to door jesus people. I am still in a bath towel and they present me with some pamphlet on how I need to be more like them. This is like the 10th time they have done this and I try to be nice but I mean come on. I told them I work on Saturday nights and don't get home till late and that's why I don't go to church. not the real reason but good enough. They then wanna know what I do for a living so I said hold on a second. After a quick wardrobe change I walk back out to my living room in an outfit literally wearing a pair of dancer booty shorts a bra and 9 inch heels and say this is my uniform. Now these guys were 50 plus years old and looked like they had just seen a ghost. I proceded to explain that this is how I pay my bills i'm not a bad person however I get naked for guys in a club for 8 hours a night. after doing this I don't think I would feel right going to church. Further more considering the countless preachers who on Friday night are two towns away from were they live inches away from my tits and snatch all night and throwing money at me on stage and then praying for my soul on sundays that I think its a little bit two faced. They quickly left and I don't think they'll be back lol. Just thought this was a funny story and probably one that will ensure I go straight to hell but its all good lol. Have a good day everyone :) xoxo
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last commentMy guess is that they show up at your club next Saturday and become regulars
Brilliant!
I was half expecting you to say you dropped the towel! If so, I'd be at your door next week with some Jesus pamphlets! And a really big tip! ;)
lol I thought about it I was getting pissed and figured they just get more enjoyment if I dropped the towel lol. its like 3 days a week there at my house
Maybe they think you're hot and that's why they keep coming back.
I'd want to time my visits when you just came out of the shower.
If you got upset with hearing about Jesus, I'd be saying praise Jesus. He will save you. Then hope you get angry enough to drop the towel to show me a thing or two. :)
You could just not answer the door. I don't unless I'm decent.
Cool story...I'd love to know where you dance...
Next time they stop by on a Sunday morning say:
"There's a thin line between Saturday night to Sunday morning."
I agree with the group...THEY WILL BE BACK!
Peek out the window or stop answering the door if they always come at the same time. If they see you peeking out, they may ring the doorbell or come back later.
It may be just a Sunday routine thing for them. You could hang a do not disturb hotel thing on your doorknob Saturday and take it off Sunday afternoon. If you got a guys voice on a recorder saying something loud like, Where's my shotgun? I'm going to blast whoever woke me up! They might take off. especially if you have sound effects of a shotgun getting cocked.
Hopefully they won't come back. I hate it when people do that. I for one am an atheist.
poledancer83, you should put this poster right where they can see it when they open the door!
nsfw.tikitumble.com
That would be just brilliant!
I am a Christian, poledancer, but I actually think that you provided a useful service! Just like the woman who was about to be stoned to death. Jesus said, "Let the one of you who is without sin cast the first stone." The whole lynching party disappeared.
Those folks need reminding of that, and you gave it to them in spades.
Pole dancer- if you're going to Hell, I'll see you there.
poledancer: Way to go. :)
One of the great advantages of living in an isolated rural setting is the absolute absence of irritating door-to-door canvassers.
@gawker,
georgmicrodong and I have already made a date to meet each other in Hell. You would certainly be welcome to join us.
I consider myself a christian but don't go to churn and believe "hell" is just a punishment conceived by men who wished to control people with fear. I also believe that any act between two consenting adults is not a sin. I wish I lived in a place that believed that same thing (South Carolina - the buckle of the bible belt.)
I used to put up warning signs and then call the cops. Then the Christians sent a woman 8 months pregnant over to scream at me.
Finally I decided that it's best to give them warnings myself. I can deliver much more effective warnings than the police ever could. The Christians have got to learn to accept the fact that they are knocking on the doors of people's homes. So I always run them off of the entire block.
SJG
PD83, do you have a "No Soliciting" sign on your door? It might be enough to keep them -- and everyone else -- from knocking on your door. (knock on wood)
I've answered my door a couple of times and there was a nice young female trying to sell me something on a couple of occasions. One time was back when I was going to college and I think the female knew I was a single guy. She was wearing a short mini skirt and trying to sell magazines. I had to sit down to talk to her or she might have seen a lot more because she caught me not wearing a whole lot. I should have hit on her getting her phone number. Oh well.
Another time was right where I live. A college girl was trying to sell some vacuuming service. She said she could vacuum and clean rooms in my house. I thought she wanted too much money. I think it was something she was doing in her spare time. I usually don't even answer my door most of the time. The EMS should know that because they tried to get me to one time to get into a relatives house and I didn't answer the door right away. They were persistent. Kept ringing the doorbell. Everything turned out alright. Most people leave after one ring if you don't get it.
BTW, have any of you denizens of tuscl considered that hell may be a club with no dancers that you can't leave? Or worse, a juice bar club with gay male strippers? Just a little food for thought. ;-D
No, the Christian Evangelicals don't believe that signs apply to them. You have to deal with them face to face and make them understand!
SJG
SJG, these were not Christian evangelicals. They were Jehovah's Witnesses. There are quite a few important differences.
Good for you, pole dancer. Just be prepared in case they left in order to get reinforcements
As far as I understand, the big issue in the Catholic Church is, as Monty Python put it, if a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. So maybe a no-LDK lap dance is Catholic OK? Seems too good to be true.
fa,
Amen! However, I am sure I'm not nearly as rural as you. One time I had some concrete blocks out by the edge of my yard to keep cars off it trying to dodge the major holes in the dirt road. As the weds crew, they covered the blocks. My wife told of a time she heard talking and some canvassers got their car hung up on them. She thought it so funny. Wished I'd seen it! :)
ilbbaicnl,
www.youtube.com
A friend of mine would just open the door and say, "Hey, Where is the fucking goat?!?"
I must live either in a rural area or everyone already ignores these people so they never visit my street. Probably less than 100 or 200 people living on my street. I get politicians walking the street though come election time. hmmm, I do remember seeing two guys in suits before who aren't politicians. I never answered the door for them.
poledancer I don't need to know what club you dance at. Just give me your address.
Have pamphlets : will travel !
That's pretty funny stuff pole dancer! I like your spirit! (Pun intended;))