The door to door jesus people will never knock on my door again lol
poledancer83
Narnia
The other day I get out of the shower and open the door and here stands the door to door jesus people. I am still in a bath towel and they present me with some pamphlet on how I need to be more like them. This is like the 10th time they have done this and I try to be nice but I mean come on. I told them I work on Saturday nights and don't get home till late and that's why I don't go to church. not the real reason but good enough. They then wanna know what I do for a living so I said hold on a second. After a quick wardrobe change I walk back out to my living room in an outfit literally wearing a pair of dancer booty shorts a bra and 9 inch heels and say this is my uniform. Now these guys were 50 plus years old and looked like they had just seen a ghost. I proceded to explain that this is how I pay my bills i'm not a bad person however I get naked for guys in a club for 8 hours a night. after doing this I don't think I would feel right going to church. Further more considering the countless preachers who on Friday night are two towns away from were they live inches away from my tits and snatch all night and throwing money at me on stage and then praying for my soul on sundays that I think its a little bit two faced. They quickly left and I don't think they'll be back lol. Just thought this was a funny story and probably one that will ensure I go straight to hell but its all good lol. Have a good day everyone :) xoxo
31 comments
I'd want to time my visits when you just came out of the shower.
If you got upset with hearing about Jesus, I'd be saying praise Jesus. He will save you. Then hope you get angry enough to drop the towel to show me a thing or two. :)
Next time they stop by on a Sunday morning say:
"There's a thin line between Saturday night to Sunday morning."
It may be just a Sunday routine thing for them. You could hang a do not disturb hotel thing on your doorknob Saturday and take it off Sunday afternoon. If you got a guys voice on a recorder saying something loud like, Where's my shotgun? I'm going to blast whoever woke me up! They might take off. especially if you have sound effects of a shotgun getting cocked.
http://nsfw.tikitumble.com/2014/12/21/be…
That would be just brilliant!
Those folks need reminding of that, and you gave it to them in spades.
@gawker,
georgmicrodong and I have already made a date to meet each other in Hell. You would certainly be welcome to join us.
Finally I decided that it's best to give them warnings myself. I can deliver much more effective warnings than the police ever could. The Christians have got to learn to accept the fact that they are knocking on the doors of people's homes. So I always run them off of the entire block.
SJG
Another time was right where I live. A college girl was trying to sell some vacuuming service. She said she could vacuum and clean rooms in my house. I thought she wanted too much money. I think it was something she was doing in her spare time. I usually don't even answer my door most of the time. The EMS should know that because they tried to get me to one time to get into a relatives house and I didn't answer the door right away. They were persistent. Kept ringing the doorbell. Everything turned out alright. Most people leave after one ring if you don't get it.
SJG
Amen! However, I am sure I'm not nearly as rural as you. One time I had some concrete blocks out by the edge of my yard to keep cars off it trying to dodge the major holes in the dirt road. As the weds crew, they covered the blocks. My wife told of a time she heard talking and some canvassers got their car hung up on them. She thought it so funny. Wished I'd seen it! :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rutX0I6…
Have pamphlets : will travel !