Immaturity

My most recent fav is DDG, which is not my usual type, and I think it causes her a lot of problems in her club. Guys assume she has an attitude, in fact I did too when we first met, but she doesn't. Guys also ignore her rules all the time, which really upsets her. I don't know whether she was always gorgeous or not but I suspect she was.

FONDL, Right on about the "late bloomers," I came to that conclusion long ago.

I know what you mean, girls who grow up good looking sometimes don't develop emotionally. I've always found that the most attractive girls are the late bloomers, the ones who didn't get to be good looking until they hit 20 or so. Those are the ones with both looks and personality but without the attitude. That's the kind of girl I look for in a club.

Fondl, I'm not sure that I conveyed my correct intent. What I meant is that the beauty queens get used to the attention and privilage they they get when they're young and in demand. As age creaps up on them like a spandex thong in tight jeans they become paranoid of the younger girls. They often become vindictive and even in extreme cases violent. I heard of one case where an aged stripper took to slashing the younger ones' face with a razor.

I thought that was called senility? Or as a friend of mine likes to say, you're only young once but you can be immature forever.

Fondl, going a few paragraphs up where you enumerated the various ages of maturity, you forgot the one's that regress into infantilism. Classic example that 1940's starlet that's still trying to buy dinner at a hollywood resturant on her looks.

In my world friends don't test friends, and friends don't try to manipulate friends. I'm not interested in having anyone in my life who tries to test or manipulate me.

Shadowcat, there is no answer to that, some mature early, some late, some never at all. Just like guys. I think life events have more to do with it than age, for example, a lot of people mature once they get settled in a steady job, get married and have kids. But everyone is different.

Kyle, you're describing game playing. But when it comes to relationships I don't play games. I believe in being who I am, and people either like me or they don't, their choice. That way I don't ever have to pretend anything, I can just be myself. And the people who end up being a part of my life are those who like me for who I am, not for who I can pretend to be. I think that's the mature way to be. So when a stripper, or anyone else for that matter, tries to play games with me I just ignore them and refuse to play.

Hi Fondl,

I think certain games are worth playing. If the woman is trying to test to see if your honest, then that seems like a reasonable test. If she is trying to see if you value her exclusively, then that seems like another valid test. If she is just trying to see if you're a sucker, then it is probably best to avoid her unless she has something you wish to buy if the price is right.

Also, think almost all adults play games. It is a question of purpose and skill and parameters.

Hi Fondl,

That could be the case. But, I know that when I was young my girlfriend had all sorts of tests for me. It was somewhat amusing because my sisters would use tests that were almost identical. For example, the woman picks up some knick knack or work of art and starts saying how whatever it is. She doesn't believe what she is saying, but rather is interested in your reaction. If you agree, then you are dead meat or you might be given a couple more chances. It is a means of testing for dishonesty. Another test is to confess some indiscretion with another man. If you don't hit the roof, then you fail. Making dates and then rudely breaking them. The correct response is anger and a get lost attitude. That will bring respect. Weakness will be played before you're disgarded like a dirty dish rag.

Perhaps that was just the girls that I grew up with. Different groups have different values and different rules. I'm supposed to be very aggressive with a woman or girl (who is part of my group) that I'm interested in. An outsider most likely find my behaviour upsetting. Perhaps very upsetting.

And Kyle I don't see it as a power play at all. Most of the time it's just thoughlessness, brought about by not knowing any better. Young people tend to be very thoughtless and self-centered, everything is about them. I'm sure I wasn't any different at that age. Most of them will eventually grow up; some won't.

FONDL: I agree. I think that, when you combine that youth and inexperience with a job that pays very well, it's easy to delay some aspects of growing up and accepting all of the responsibilities of adulthood.

Fondl, I agree with your comment. I also think it was statement of the obvious.

I agree that it should be obvious but it's also easy to forget. When I'm getting along really well with a pretty girl it's easy to forget how young she is. In fact that's one of the main reasons that I go clubbing in the first place, to forget about age. So every once in awhile I have to wake up and recall what a jerk I was at that age.

I usually see it as a power play. The girl wanting to see if you're a real man. My sisters had always advised not to take even a little bull from a woman. Normally that has been excellent advice and has worked wonders in getting much better treatment than I was even looking for. A few just blew me off, which wasn't much of a loss since I wasn't getting good dances. One girl who I later learn is a real sweet person was just a little immature. She didn't realize it was a big deal because apparently her friends did the same shit (not keeping appointments) to her and others. The relationship was never the same and that was a loss.

I agree with both of you guys, most of my ATF's have been women that where a little on the plain side when they where growing up-not the attention-getters. Barbie Dolls with no personality are a bore. I seem to notice the DDG girls get a lot of single dances while the "personality" girls get regulars who buy more dances, are very loyal and, in general, spend more money.