Do you think strippers that are heterosexual instinctively hate us, after all surely a females DNA is 'wired' to hate guys that cheat on their SO and most guys that visit clubs fall into that category?
Good job a $20 bill can get rid around this 'hate' eh :-)
Yes. Money can fix a lot of things. I know one strippers that is married to a deputy sheriff but still escorts on the side after 10 + years of marriage. She know that I do reviews of TUSCL and asked me to never mention her name to protect her husbands job security. I assured her that I don't mention names unless they piss me off and she never has.
Good thread.
I've always wondered what strippers really think of customers, too.
I agree with rockstar. Most probably don't like guys who go to strip clubs. They probably have a not so positive view of strip club customers.
But I do know one dancer who met her (eventual) boyfriend when he came into her club. This is probably much more of the exception than the norm, though.
Money makes the hatred go away temporarily but I think it is there, especially after they have been dancing awhile.
Strippers love me. I know because they tell me they do.
Years ago I dated a stripper (started dating her before I knew what she did, thought for about 3 months she just worked in a bar she went to college in, story for anouther her day). After I had found out how she was making money (club was just a go go bar without private dances) we had some pretty interesting discussions, one of which was her opinion of men who go to strip clubs. For the most part, she liked the customers (some single and some married) and understood that most were there just to relax after work and have a pretty girl talk to them. Her problem was with the married guys that openly tried to have sex with her and the other girls, and those guys she downright hated. As she put it, it was a matter of respect, and if they didn't have enough respect for anyone else, then screw'em!
Maybe this is why . "109-Year-Old Woman Says Secret To Long Life Is Avoiding Men"
More insight
I don't think most dancers hate customers. But I do think that they have rationalizations which make it easier for them to be taking lots of money off of guys. If a guy is cheating on his wife, I think that does make the dancer feel better about draining his wallet. If a guy is treating her in a manner which is less than respectful, I think that helps her to feel better about draining his wallet.
SJG
I feel like a lot of SC goers are young and unattached or divorced.
In general strippers see us as walking wallets and nothing more.
Jerikson is the real authority on how dancers feel about any particular subject, so perhaps she will enlighten us. Otherwise, I've discussed with the DS how she feels about guys in the club. She says that working at the club does not make her hate men, and she does not hate or even dislike customers in any general sense. She enjoys some customers, particularly the ones who are fun and entertaining, with me of course being her very fav. But she is ambivalent about most of the guys she dances for in the same way that a salesperson probably doesn't have much in the way of feelings for a customer and just sees them as a source of income. A salesperson doesn't hate their customers, but might not like them a whole lot either. She has also said that working at the club does make her look at men in a more cynical and negative way because of the relatively small number of assholes that she has to deal with. She knows that most guys are not arrogant pricks who think they are better than her, but the small number of guys who do have such fucked up attitudes have a big influence on her because they are such a pain in the ass to deal with. My guess is that over time her attitude towards guys will become more negative because of these assholes, but she has such a positive attitude and outlook on life that will hopefully limit the damage done.
Sure, some strippers hate customers, but I'm sure if you're nice and treat them with respect, they won't hate you.
A couple of things to keep in mind...
People in general, and women in particular, "project" themselves to others as something better than they actually are, deep down in their souls. I've said this many times before here. If you ask a woman on the street "Do you hate ____" (fill in the blanks). What will they say? "No, of course I don't hate anybody !!"
But when they're with their BFF whispering yummy secrets, what do they say ? "Oh, that Chardonnay !! I HATE HER !!! Did you see how she was looking at my boyfriend???"
So when a woman tells you something, don't assume it's what she really feels inside. And as we also know, it applies to men too. But women are especially aware of how they appear to others.
Secondly, women are more complicated than simple categorizations like this. I think that what many/most strippers feel towards their customers might better be termed "complete disrespect", rather than "hate". In other words, do they like their regular who keeps feeding her rent money? Of course, they "love" him !!! Do they respect him? Would they ever date him or marry him ? And if there was no money involved, would they even be talking to the guy? Hell no. They have no respect for them, and consider them merely business opportunities, not people they want any sort of relationship with. Do they snicker about their regular and what a fucking loser he is when they're with their friends in the dressing room? Probably. Would they ever admit it, and risk losing their regular rent money? Hell no.
"Sure, some strippers hate customers, but I'm sure if you're nice and treat them with respect, they won't hate you."
ehh - generally they'll just hate you a little less in direct proportion to giving them a little extra money and respect. and actually most of the time being an asshole w/a sense of humor will make them like even more than just being nice.
This is one of those things I don't think you can paint with a broad brush.
I met a dancer in Detroit who talked so matter-of-factly about sex, orgies, anatomy and whatnot that I honestly think she was just a nympho. I think she loved doing what she did with different men, just to see their different approaches to it.
On the other hand, a lot of these girls hate men, themselves, other women, you name it.
I think every girl has a reason. The goal is to find the ones with the right ones.
I don't know if dancers -- or women in general, for that matter -- are really so much hard-wired to hate mongers as they are socialized to. Up until recently, strip-club goers have typically been portrayed as truly pathetic losers, slimy, creepy guys, stuff that you'd have to scrape off the bottom of your shoe.
But I think nowadays, strip-club goers are being portrayed more as the average guy, someone from next door or from work -- guys who aren't sewer scum. As our image becomes more socially acceptable, the next generation or two of strippers -- of women in general -- might not look at strip-club goers with quite so much contempt...well, at least let's hope not.
Excellent answer from jerikson. Very insightful, almost like being in the dancers skin. How does jerikson do it?
From what I've seen, most damcers don't bother with hating customers. Comtempt, on the other hand, is another thing entirely.
I don't think it's because they're wired to hate cheaters. Contempt for your customers is common in any service trade. Then on top of that, they hate the way a lot of customers act in the club. I can't say I blame them.
I agree with Rattdog that being a respectful nice guy doesn't much lessen their contempt.
I think it is a touchy issue. I think the most important thing is to let the girl understand who you are and why you are there.
Are you cheating on your wife? She might play along, but she will still look down on you.
Are you single or divorced? This might make you a pathetic loser.
Why are you paying money for female attention? What is wrong about you that you have to do this?
What is wrong about your intentions or your attitudes about women that you need to pass out money?
The only way out of these traps is to have a way of presenting yourself to the girl that lets her understand you as an individual. She is going to want to know everything about you too.
For me, I have always said, "I like to see beautiful women in high heels and makeup." This is the truth, but it also explains why I come to the strip club. There is nothing improper about it, and there is nothing in it that casts me as a loser or as less than honorable.
Then I introduce myself to the girl, telling her everything about myself, answering her questions before she would ask them.
If I want her to be open with me, I have to first be open with her.
SJG
Customers tend to have a stick up their ass against dancers, and dancers tend to have a stick up their ass against customers. One stick justifies and reinforces the presence of the other. Just like black and white people. Only worse because we also frustrate each other. Customers walk out of the club wishing they had gotten more time and further for their money. Dancers walk out feeling like they didn't make enough money generally.
^^^^^^^^^^ 100% Correct!
Customers are envious of the money dancers make, and we regret having to pay so much, and often get so little.
How to get around this? Stick with civilians, like from a Sunday church service? Make yourself lots of money, so you can really pout it on with dancers and enjoy? Or some other way?
SJG
It's not so hard for my because I'm prematurely old and pathetic. I'm OK with getting just a lap dance. Most dancers figure it our pretty quick that I would never hurt a hair on their heads. Several have been willing to dance at my place or theirs. They will give me a good discount over club prices if I get a full hour or two of dances. The only frustrating thing is that the dancers who will dance outside the club always seem to be the ones who are not down with any mouth-on-boob activity. I'm actual friends with one dancer (who has a Master's degree). The rest just see me as a harmless, boring old guy. I am not married, no girlfriend, so they just see me as a loser not a cheater.
Same for me now, just a PL, nothing worse than that.
SJG
Strippers are business people, first and foremost. They are doing a job -- sex work. Dancing is their livelihood; a means to an end. I don't think it's accurate to paint them with a broad brush as men haters.
They love the idea that men, who predominantly control financial resources and wealth globally, are hard-wired to be attracted to females and are willing to buy time and sexual services from them. Recent immigrants involved in sex work, if they aren't being trafficked or pimped, are particularly pleased that with few other marketable skills they can use their natural gifts to provide for their families. Further, one of the key reasons strippers enjoy their line of work is the schedule flexibility.
We tend to chase the fantasy of relationships with strippers, caring whether they really like us or not. Many dancers play along to have a personal or financial need met. Playing along can even entail real "love". But, everyone involved knows these "relationships" typically are short-lived and superficial, as there usually isn't real "commitment".
I don't believe most strippers hate men. I think most are grateful for the opportunity to make a living as an "entertainer". Sure beats mopping floors, flipping burgers, picking cotton, or putting up with corporate world bullshit.
If you said "Yes" that would mean you have a negative experience with them and most of your experiences are mostly just like that.
I do understand that and see why that happens.
@Hungry_Giraffe wrote,
"Strippers are business people, first and foremost."
Yes this is true. But no matter, what they think of a man's character, temperament, intelligence, and financial prospects still effects how they treat him, above and beyond the cash he is willing to hand them short or long term.
And so once you can see this, if you want to, you can get under their skin. It is not that difficult. Yes, strippers are business people and they always present themselves that way. But if instead of listening to what they say, you watch what they do, you well see that their stripper persona is paper thin.
SJG
A lot probably hate "customers" in general due to the nature of the job, but it's not personal unless you're rude, smell bad, take liberties she's not comfortable with and are cheap. I know some dancers that like me a lot, and some that like me as a customer but I'm not their type personally, and one who genuinely dislikes me!