tuscl

Kissing and the art of kissing

Clackport
Washington
Sunday, November 16, 2014 10:43 AM
When I get a lapdance, my favorite thing is not sex (I prefer sex OTC). My favorite thing during a lapdance is kissing. Unfortunately I haven't received a lot of kissing in lapdances in my strip clubbing career. I've been strip clubbing for 6 years, and I would estimate I've gotten dances from 150 different girls. Out of those 150 girls, only 4 of them have made out with me. 15 other girls have planted a kiss on my lips/peck, but that's about it. I haven't made out or gotten a kiss on the lips from a stripper in probably over a year. I don't get it. I mean, I don't ask them to kiss, I think that's very PLish. I don't initiate any of the kissing. I feel if a stripper wants to kiss you, then she will kiss you. I'm not expecting every stripper I get a dance with, but damn I'm expecting a better ratio than what I've gotten. Especially, because I hear on here that kissing is pretty common with some of you guys. I don't know if it's because I'm young and black, maybe they're intimidated? Maybe a lot of them aren't attracted to black guys? I don't know if it's because I rarely do a VIP. Maybe dancers kiss older guys because they think that will lead to them springing for the hour VIP? Do you guys ask the dancers if they will kiss? Do you guys initiate the kissing? I don't know what it is, I just know I want more kissing, and I'm not getting it. Let me touch on the art of kissing real quick. Nowadays it seems like everyone is just jamming their tongues down the throat and having a tongue war. That is a turnoff. I think kissing is supposed to be mostly lip action with a little of tongue. It's like shooting a basketball, or throwing a football. You have two hands on the ball initially, but that left hand is on the ball to guide it, you actually shoot or throw the ball with just one hand, usually the right hand if you're right handed. With kissing, the tongue is like the guide, but the lips is what most of the action should be. Nowadays I'm seeing all tongue and no lips, when it should be a lot of lips and a little tongue.

37 comments

  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    I don't know, man. It just happens. No theories on this one other than I am a pretty charming and witty guy, so it's not that surprising when they do.
  • ime
    •
    10 years ago
    Ranukam, are you sure you're the player you claim to be?
  • shadowcat
    •
    10 years ago
    This has come up many times before. There is no real answer. Some girls do and some don't. I don't find it too common during a routine table/lap dance but in VIP I want it and if she doesn't initiate it, I will. My favorites do.
  • londonguy
    •
    10 years ago
    Strange as it may seem the main reason they don't kiss is because they keep that back for the boyfriends/husbands. The same used to be true with escorts, but not so much now.
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    I consider kissing more of a craft than an art. I must admit, I'm pretty crafty.
  • grand1511
    •
    10 years ago
    Only kissing I've had has been in VIP. Why do you think they call it VIP?
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    10 years ago
    Most dancers won't kiss, but even considering that, your batting average sucks in a bad way. Two suggestions. First, why the hell would you not ask? They are not your girlfriends, and they're not going to kiss you because they like you. They are sex workers, and if they kiss you it's because it's part of the service that you are paying for. I ask all the time. The answer is no more than it is yes, but I still have a lot more success than you do. Start asking. This is not a dealbreaker for me, and if it was it would disqualify most dancers. Nevertheless, I can't think of any reason why you wouldn't ask in a nice and respectful way. Second, understand that kissing is seen by dancers as an extra. Indeed, in some places it's easier to get a blowjob than it is to kiss. What this means is that kissing is primarily a V I P or OTC experience. If you continue to expect kissing just for the price of a basic lap dance, you will continue to have mostly failures.
  • GoVikings
    •
    10 years ago
    Never had it happen
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    Yeah I understand that some girls will do it, and some girls won't. I guess what I'm also asking is how common is kissing for you? @JohnSmith- Good insight man. I definitely don't see myself ever asking. I sometimes ask if they mind me feeling up on their ass and tits, but kissing is a whole another thing.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Pretty common, IME.
  • LenaSmirnova
    •
    10 years ago
    Ok i can help.The best way to go about it is not to hassle for kissing beforehand like others suggest(as its off putting,dancers do save it for their loved ones),but pretend to be smitten with how hot she is and act controlled and respectful like a good little [view link] for a dance so readily as if she said it cost 1 dollar but say you can't afford any more,that is ALMOST all the money you got after breaking your piggy bank...Do notably less to her in a dance than she used to and keep breaking a soft smile and make eye contact as if you were falling in love.Look like you really enjoying yourself and as if it gets better and better for you every second...Towards the end she will make her dance more interesting to provoke you to pay for another one and this is where you gently keep pulling your neck and face slightly towards her and pouting your lips with your eyes half closed…she will be tempted to deliberately brush her lips against yours and then might get carried away.If she does it too briefly - freeze in the same position she left you and moan innocently 'oh babe' etc.If this wont work then i don't know what will! :)))
  • shadowcat
    •
    10 years ago
    I guess you could try putting a Benjamin between your lips.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    I'm kind of surprised by how common it is given how it's hard to conceal from co-workers and managers. Once you get them OTC, it's pretty rare for them not too and always the last time I see them if they don't. I think even more would do it if there was an easier way to cconceal it in the clubs. Maybe just more evidence Portland may not be the greatest city for SCing.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    This subject has been discussed much recently. One big move was Shadowcat's kissing thread. But before he started that I had been floating the topic in numerous posts. Look at my profile as this is one of my major issues. My view is that if you want to kiss her, you should try to do it in the front room. No reason to wait until you are in a booth or a VIP Room, and when you have already handed her a cash wad. You can be feeding her sitting tips, which the house cannot cut into. If she will sit with you and makeout with you, then whatever else is going to happen will be phenomenal. As far as asking or just doing it, I say just do it. Now JS69 says ask. There are different ways of seeing this. If you ask, then she can say no. If you just do it, then she has to turn away to avoid it. I think better not to ask, unless more direct attempts have failed. As far as how to approach it, it is eye contact and tone of voice, and just drawing her in so she is ready for it. At the best Apartment AMPs ( AAMPs ) the girl will start DFKing you as soon as she gets the door shut, and before she asks for the money. They lose less biz this way. And yes, I have been a person who has coached the newbies to do it this way. At store front AMPs ( AMPs ) it is not done like this. But wow, over the years have a I kissed a lot of beautiful women in AMPs. But it is not standard. Mostly they will do it if they see me as something more than just another customer. Like if I am dressed nice, or if they want me as a regular or for home visits. In the best cases getting the girl kissing lets her turn it all into GFA ( Girl Friend Audition ). Nothing beats this! At AAMPs there is not even window shopping. So you just have what you get. Very hard because the girl does not know if you like her. At AMPs and Lingerie Modeling there usually are ways to window shop. So if you can let the girl believe you are there just for her, then that softens her right up. At some AMPs I have been reading about I believe there are now girls who know that they way to get good biz is to kiss. They know that guys want AAMP style service. But the best should be SC's, because there you can do unstructured fraternizing. So you can stage tip and talk with a few girls, at modest cost, and then finally start courting one of them. SC's should be the very best! Now where I am the SC's are no touching. But when I get out to these other places, I am going to be kissing lots of pretty girls in SC front rooms. Jestrite50, the master himself speaks [view link] At the most extreme SC's the girls come and sit on your lap and start nibbling on your ear and licking your neck. They don't give you much choice but to makeout with them. I surmise that this is where Jestrite50 learned his approach.. There are all sorts of situations where you can just walk up to a girl and kiss her. Why not an SC? Mostly it depends on how you approach her, and how she perceives you. Now as far as how to actually do it, I have found that slow and gentle, but purposeful, works best. If you can do this with her, then by the time you are done, you pretty much own her. Not everyone wants this. SJG
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    Same here, I guess kissing is not something dancers go for, IMO. But they usually put their hands on my hips first then let it crawl up my chest and squeeze my pecs while gently blowing my ear. That happened to me last time while I was at Starz, she was the most beautiful dancer that night. Just sitting there at the tipping rail she moved to my lap and she got really intimate, and people were watching us. She was sooooo frigging pretty I didn't see that coming from her. Another pretty girl that night, her name was Roxanne, I didn't get a dance from her, I caught her staring at me from a distance and she didn't let go, I guess she approached me right after this dancer walked away from where I was sitting (bar). Kissable lips, I thought she would be perfect for a good makeout. I did buy one dance though, from another dancer who made me feel like she was my GF. It felt soo good she treated me soooo well, what an experience from her.
  • LenaSmirnova
    •
    10 years ago
    ranukam from your reply to JohnSmith i can see you are already the kinda guy i described and deserve more kissing in lap dances,you just should know how to work it…if your face is not cute then you have to teach your eyes to really 'talk' to a girl.Also by the end of the dance act like you are torn whether you should get another one from her,but be very sweet and don't talk too much as you can scare her off-she'd get it that you're hassling.Yes it really helps that you do ask her if she doesn't mind being felt up…i like the way you use 'feel' instead of 'touch', i find 'can i touch?' a bit too sharp and sobering like the guy is here to grope...
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    About @Lena's above post. If you do it her way, then you will only be kissing in booths and VIP Rooms, with the girl standing in front of you and still moving. This is never going to be the best way. You want her sitting next to you or on your lap. This could happen anywhere, but you are best able to drive it yourself if it is in the front room, so that you have not yet committed to a "dance". Once you commit to a dance, then you are handing the reigns over to her. It is quite understandable that she might not want to be DFKing in front of everyone, because then others will want the same. But on the other hand, no fun to be handing girls money and then be disappointed. Likewise, the more people who see her DFKing, the more money she is going to be making, and so in the most extreme SC's it is done this way. SJG
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    10 years ago
    Lena, complete bullshit. You have not because you ask not. Also, SC has a good suggestion. A Benjamin between your lips would do wonders for your batting average. I also agree with Dougster -- kissing is always part of OTC. The bottom line, as in all things stripper related, is that money talks.. Start finding a way to pay them more money, make it clear that kissing is necessary for you to spend that extra money, and you will start kissing more. Not always by any means, but definitely more. It's that simple. Otherwise, if you refuse to ask, and if you are not willing to pay anything more to get the extra service that you want, then nothing will change.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Money? You mean it's my considerable wit and charming that is responsible for them kissing me? Man this is one disillusing board. Is it different if you call her a sugar baby instead of a stripper? Is it at least easier to pretend.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    I agree that money can make it happen. But first of all you have to be clear that that is what you want. This is why I say, kiss her in the front room. Do it as nicely as possible, but just kiss her. And then continue doing it. If she likes you, if she feels that she would like to have an ongoing relationship with you, or if she feels that you will be good for more money in the future, then this will all help. For most sex workers, kissing is personal and not business. But still, their personal decisions are often influenced by money. If you can feed her sitting tips to show that you have money and intend to spend it, and then if you can charm her some, and then just start kissing her and see what happens. A SC is always going to be the best, because if one won't play, then there are others. The more who observe what is going on, the more chances of getting success. SJG
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    I don't know, why would you kiss a dancer the first time you see her? My CF didn't kiss me the first time we met, we just did it without kissing that night. No makeout, just plain suck everything except lips and then move on to romantic obscene fucking. Forget about kissing dancers.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    Well, you do it the way out want. But my experience is that one of the very best ways of getting a girl to open up to you emotionally is to get her DFKing with you. This is not the only way, and it is not an absolute necessity. But it is certainly the most basic. If you don't do this, you risk getting "extras - FS", that is sex done in a state of dissociation. I mean consider you met a civilian girl at a party. Would you fuck her without kissing her? I would think not. So if you meet a girl in what can be a P4P sex situation, but you and she like each other, why not make it as civilian as possible. I don't engage in FS or other sex acts with women I don't like. And besides, the culture most certainly does allow for kissing for people who have not known each other for more than a brief time. [view link] ROMEO [To JULIET] If I profane with my unworthiest hand This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss. JULIET Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, Which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss. ROMEO Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too? JULIET Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer. ROMEO O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair. JULIET Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake. ROMEO Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged. JULIET Then have my lips the sin that they have took. ROMEO Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again. JULIET You kiss by the book. SJG
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    There's a reason why, I noticed when dancers kiss me or I kiss them, they get rashes after that. One dancer told me about it after a week of seeing her. My stubble did irritate her lovely smooth cheeks. So.... to not give them that trouble, I simply do not go after it.
  • chandler
    •
    10 years ago
    Being a repeat customer is what seems to matter the most. I get French kisses with about half of the strippers I regularly get dances from. The other half just never do it, unless maybe in VIP. These are just table dances out on the floor. With most of them, it began on about the third or fourth time we'd met. It's pretty rare that anyone kisses right from the start. I never ask to kiss. One, because a no answer would be kind of a mood killer. And two, because I believe a lot of things can just happen physically that she would never have agreed to verbally in advance. And I never make the first move to kiss. However, a few other moves can sort of set the stage for kissing. Stroking her hair, touching her face, offering your finger for her to suck on. Kissing her neck, her ear, having her nibble your ear, or just calmly allowing your faces to stay intimately close. Fairly obvious stuff, but apparently not high priorities for a lot of dudes.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    Well, you must shave close, clean, and frequently. All the more so if you have a heavy beard growth. Don't want to be giving pretty girls rashes now. I tell you from AMP experience that a great way to get the girl of her pro-service script is just to start kissing her. Sometimes what works best is just to back her up against a wall. Even better though is just to let he sit on one of your thighs. This way you can take it slow and gentle and mix it with lots of front side massaging of her. This relaxes her and gets her ready for FIV. If the experience can be as civilianized as possible, it will be phenomenal. Thing is, both parties need to be ready to open up. Often neither of them really wants this. In SC's, up against the wall would not be okay. So best is if she is sitting with you or on you, and Jestrite50 has written about this. Look at my profile. And then of course in the most extreme SC's in the country, it is the girls who come up and sit on your lap and give you very little choice except to start making out with them. SJG
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    Yes, the no answer is a kind of mood killer. It is worse than if she just turns away and prevents a no words kissing attempt. To the no answer I have considered but not actually tried, "Your to pretty to be saying that, I just look at your face and I know you love to be kissed." I think if you can keep it light, playful, and fun, then she will eventually yield. SJG
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    "a no answer would be kind a mood killer". Exactly, that's exactly how I feel. I'm impressed Chandler, basically half of the girls you get dances from kiss you. I should point out that I ended up dating and having fuckbuddy relationships with a few of the strippers that would never kiss me during a dance. Still, it would be nice to get like Chandler and have half of the girls kissing me. Truthfully I'd settle for 1 out of every 4 girls kissing me. Anyone disagree on my last paragraph about the art of kissing?
  • chandler
    •
    10 years ago
    I think I might agree with last paragraph it a girl was saying it. However, I am impressed by your fuckbuddy success.
  • chandler
    •
    10 years ago
    Make that..... I think I might agree with your last paragraph if a girl was saying it. However, I am impressed by your fuckbuddy success.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    10 years ago
    I've gotten little pecks from lots of dancers but I've only done the kind of kissing folks here seem to be talking about with three dancers. My ATF, the MILF who still won't take my money, and one other who just did it while I was tweaking her nipples hard.
  • Eagle1191
    •
    10 years ago
    Been kissed on the cheek by a few but thats all, don't know why some would want to kiss a stripper on the lips as thats a bit more intamate and usually something reserved for someone you really care about. More importantly you do not know where her lips have been, or you do know as she might have just got done going down on you.
  • HungryGiraffe
    •
    10 years ago
    Want more kissing? Just ask! If it's important to your clubbing pleasure, make it part of your upfront screening. I like FIV, so that's typically woven into the initial convo. Sometimes directly, other times indirectly, such as, "What are your boundaries?" Or, "What are your rules?"
  • lopaw
    •
    10 years ago
    Done alot of kissing and in my experience it really comes down to how turned on she is and how comfortable she is with you.
  • curiositycat
    •
    10 years ago
    I think being a woman increases your chances. I've found that if she is the least bit interested in women, or using the girl on girl aspect to drum up sales it results in kisses. I've had a couple kisses just sitting at perv row. While I enjoyed some of them, some have been unwelcome especially if I am not attracted to them and they decided to shove their tongue down my throat.
  • PhantomGeek
    •
    10 years ago
    Mostly, out on the floor, I've just gotten small pecks -- on the cheek, the mouth, even the nose -- even from dancers I'd known for years. Sometimes, back in the lap dance area or VIP, a playful wistful sigh or a little puppy dog whimper might garner a little extra. But there've been a couple of times, I've gotten some serious LFK/DFK out on the floor without any real prompting, other than a stage-side tip.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    It’s sex for us; so we’re looking for a level of intimacy. It is a job/work for them; they are looking for $$$ and not intimacy. Some women are just more freaks/free-spirits and up for anything; but most dancers have their reservations about what they will or will not do w/ a customer and kissing is one of those things that is more rare than an actual stripper in college – plus kissing IMO is the most intimate thing (even more than sex IMO) and why thus many/most dancers will not go there. And yes I ask b/c as JS69 mentioned; it’s just another service you ask for from a dancer – and I assume the answer will usually be “no” so it doesn’t really affect me when I get a “no”.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    "make it part of your upfront screening" Yes I agree with this. Either you ask in the front room, or I think better still, just make it happen in the front room, like DFK and FIV. This is how Jestrite50 and Duke69 do it. Front room DFK is how I will be doing it in AMPs, which is even more difficult than SC's. "it really comes down to how turned on she is and how comfortable she is with you" Yes, this is why learning how to court your girl some is so important, as is declining any attempts she makes to "sell dances". You can compensate her with sitting tips, which she should not have to cut with the house. "I've gotten some serious LFK/DFK out on the floor without any real prompting, other than a stage-side tip" Again, if you want it you have to make it go that way, then front room courting and screening is the way. "I think being a woman increases your chances" Yes, this is because the dancers are more open to and respectful of women. This is also the benefit of having women customers. And @Eagle1911, if that is how you feel about the dancers, then just keep a minimum distance of 40' and your problem will be solved. Ranukam, speaking of a 1 out of a 4 kissing rate: "Anyone disagree on my last paragraph about the art of kissing?" Well yes, I disagree. If you want kissing, as I certainly do, then we should be able to get it. In AAMP and Escort sessions it is standard. In SC's and AMP's it is not, but if we want it we should be able to make it go this way. Just being nice, courting the girl some, and manipulating the selection process. The more she knows you, the easier it is going to be for her. Having once been a "service provider" in a kissing game, I have some experience here. SJG Ferguson, Michael Brown [view link]
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