tuscl

Minimum Drink Replacement

Wednesday, September 24, 2014 9:16 AM
Many clubs have a minimum drink requirement. I've heard that some clubs have hourly drink minimums. Yikes. Many of us have zero love for the minimum drink hassle and even less for the "buy a lady a drink" hustle. But what if things changed? What if we replaced the drinks with something else? What if we replaced the overpriced sodas, juices, and waters with something we can all agree on. What if we replaced that shit with...bacon, you guessed it. If I was required to just order one serving of bacon, I'd still make it a double. I don't know if I'd buy too many dancers any bacon. They might waste bacon and you never waste bacon. Ever. I say, we raise our voices and make our opinion be heard. You bitches over yonder in StrippersWeb better take note. The Bacon Revolution will not be televised.

19 comments

  • Estafador
    •
    10 years ago
    well they serve some damn good food in one of my favorite clubs, and they really take their time making it to the point of annoying (I know they cooking it because they have separate cooks from bus boys and I'm usually the only one buying the food during the daily specials) and if I could replace getting a nice juicy steak or a nice ass burger with fries for a drink, then DAMN they would be making all types of monetary gains. When it's burger day, I buy two...and those shits are NOT sliders and only a dollar each...with fries...per burger....yeah I went on a rant, but I agree with ya slick ol' pal. If they do that shit, I'd be up in that club tipping the waitress for just standing there.
  • shadowcat
    •
    10 years ago
    I get it. You get the strippers used to bacon and then slip them the ole bacon condom. Brilliant!
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    I love you both!
  • mikeya02
    •
    10 years ago
    My sweetie's pet name for me is "petit cochon" I told her that's what my French mom called me when I was small, and she thought it was cute.
  • rockstar666
    •
    10 years ago
    I invented the bacon douche but no one thought it was a good idea.
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    DAR drinks above replacement Obscure baseball reference #1
  • mikeya02
    •
    10 years ago
    Why don't you quit cryin' and get me some bourbon? Obscure classic film noir reference #1
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life. Homer Simpson quote #1
  • mikeya02
    •
    10 years ago
    Francis Bacon is one of my giant inspirations. I just love him to pieces. David Lynch Kevin Bacon too!
  • skibum609
    •
    10 years ago
    Club Desires in Providence does a free shot every hour until 8 pm and sells drink cards for $20 with $25 loaded on the card. No minimum.
  • impala
    •
    10 years ago
    The thing is, it is a strip club. That minimum order of bacon will most likely cost you about $25
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    I'd sell a kidney for bacon.
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    They call me kidney bean salad
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    @Moto-What do you call 3 Mexicans picking lettuce? 3 Bean Salad.
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    Lol
  • Dolfan
    •
    10 years ago
    I'm 100% on board. Should we organize some kind of strike? Like a walk out, a picket line? Maybe we all do a sit in, but each smuggle a pound of bacon in. We'd certainly make the news if we all did it at the same time. Or maybe a "bacon challenge" - where we get people to run down the street in bacon bikini's. Also, there's some pretty interesting secondary effects of selling more bacon in the strip club. Chief among them I think would be replacing the eau de skank (cheap cigarettes, perfume, alcohol, etc) with the glorious aroma of bacon. I can't imagine how excited I'd be paying my over charge at a titty bar and catching a whiff of bacon as another patron walks out the door. I'd be able to stop in "on my way" a lot more, since the leftover bacon smell could easily be explained as "oh, I stopped into a diner." The only downside is, I may start getting wood every time I saw a BLT. That could become problematic.
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    @Dolfan-There's nothing wrong with getting wood because of a BLT. It happens to me.
  • rattdog
    •
    10 years ago
    meat candy and eye candy-oh yeah I likes. you know some of these strip clubs do advertise a legs and eggs breakfast special. they'll open like 7-8AM and serve breakfast. so I have to assume they are selling bacon w/those eggs while showing off legs, tits n ass.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    Maybe I need to eat a snack first before reading these bacon threads. Suddenly I'm thinking about a nice hamburger with bacon.
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