OT: On the social stigma (or lack thereof) of being a “Sugar Baby”

More proof that, in reality, steve229 is actually a 16y/o girl.

Foody?

Just for fun I looked at just one of the SB sites. For the statement of Michigan alone there were about 250,000 girls seeking Daddy's.

State

When I had a SB there was no shyness on her behalf in making our arrangement very known to her friends. It surprised me that she was so "out".

^^^ must be a great deal if demand for them. Guess steve229 is gonna either wrack up some debit on this one, or the standards are so low that a guy with steve's $40k/y civil service income can land one and they are impressed just to be taken out to the Cheesecake Factory once a month...

OR just reread the story and it makes alot more sense if it's just a 16y/o girl who went out with other her BFFs telling it.

So what does the sugar daddy get out of it? Sex? I'm not really interested in going out to eat or anything much less if that's not involved.

I always pictured lonely guys just wanting to be seen with a young girl.

shark: "• So what does the sugar daddy get out of it? Sex"

In Steve's case gets to gossip about celebrities. Who Beyoncé and Rihanna are dating. Which rapper is facing assault charges. That kind of thing.

To answer shark dude -- it's the money. Turns out it CAN buy you love, conta John, Paul, George, and Ringo.

I'm sure the celeb gossip is a plus though.

In my case, they get some groovy groovy discussion of sci fi and comic books.

I bet a sugar baby would dig your alien tales.

^^No it can't buy you love, but it sure can be rented for the right price.

Wait, Beyoncé's dating? I heard the rumors her marriage to Jay Z was on the rocks, but figured that was just clever PR to drum up interest in their "On the Run" tour.

So if she's preggo again, who's the daddy?

What about sugar lazy asses?

I don't think there should be a social stigma. I'm glad to hear young girls don't see anything wrong with it.

Maybe i have some insight to y younger girls are open about this and even brag....it has to do a lot with the hip hop culture..its made young men idealize pimps, dealers and gangsters....for girls its made them idealize the strippers, call girls and girl friend s of the dudes above in the hopes that both sides may pull themselves from poverty and into a more affluent future but sadly all it does is create ass wholes, jerks, players, cheaters, hoes and druggies....so their you have it...im love this and my generation X and the generation Y groups

Douglas you had me in tears trolling steve like that lol

I find it very surprising too. In my experience dancers don't usually brag about OTC, and I would expect that to be true to an even greater degree for a sugarbaby. Perhaps young women are getting even more slutty than we realize. Or maybe you can just never figure out women.

There is a HUGE social stigma to being a stripper or hooker. Anyone who does that is a trashy slut, and any woman would sooner die than have the other soccer moms, or, god forbid, her daughter and her friends, label her as a slut.

Now, that being said, there is also an understanding among women that money rules. Most women spend their lives seeking out a partner with big money. They never say that, but all women know that money rules. Instead, they say they're looking for a "good provider" or some such bullshit. No, they want some basketball player or corporate CEO who can give them a private jet and unlimited credit card.

Therefore, when you're talking about "sugar babies" and their close girlfriends, there is an understanding that the rules of the game are to find some guy who will give them money. Lots of it. And if they have to be sluts in return, well, you gotta do what you gotta do. That's why most women are such fucking hypocrites. They put up an "eminent front", trying to show what pure virgins they are, but in fact as soon as money enters the picture they are sluts for a buck. No different from the girl who just happens to "fall in love" with the multimillion $$ basketball player. Love depends a lot on the amount of money involved.

Therefore, between girlfriends, this chick scored big. Free money, and all you have to give up is your inner slut. Would she announce this to the rest of the world? Hell no. Only to those she has a close understanding with, and who understand that money rules.

Now, as far as the social stigma of some guy who empties his wallet to some stupid stripper just so she'll have sex with him and act like she likes him, well that's pretty clear. The guy who does that is a total loser, and as most women would say, a "perv", and he should get a real girlfriend and stop paying for sex.

Standards continue to change and evaporate. Older guys, who have the money to be sugar daddies, are usually of the belief that such an arrangement is private and confidential for all of the reasons of good taste and discretion. We are now in a world where younger people routinely have babies without even thinking about getting married, women parade around half-naked in public, men glorify and emulate thugs, teachers have sex with students, gays get married, marijuana is on its way to becoming completely legal, automobile drivers, ignoring common sense, operate cars while engaged in five other distractions and lying is an accepted practice. Only an old school guy like me can still be shocked by the slovenly and slutty behavior of the young. Does the benefit of having SCs with a regular supply of loose women make me look the other way when confronted with some changes that make my skin crawl. Photographing food to make your girlfriends jealous UGH!

JohnSmith: "Or maybe you can just never figure out women."

jerkoffson: <blah, blah, blah mindless drivel above>

See, JohnSmith, jerikson figured them out.

jerkoffson: " there is an understanding that the rules of the game are to find some guy who will give them money. Lots of it."

Kind of hard to imagine that steve229 will be able to do that on his $40k/y civil servant salary.

"Most women spend their lives seeking out a partner with big money. They never say that, but all women know that money rules."

Are you fucking retarded or do you just buy into every cliche you've ever heard? If this was remotely true then "most" of the men and women in this country would never find a partner.

Who knows what she's actually telling her friends. Even among the most liberal groups of young women I would expect some derision for someone admitting they were effectively a prostitute. I suspect she's putting some spin on the whole thing.

jester sez: "If this was remotely true then "most" of the men and women in this country would never find a partner."

Well if you thought about it just a LITTLE bit you'd realize why.

There are few rich men in the world. There are many poor men in the world. Therefore, women who are seeking money must be able to attract the rich guys, or, if not, progressively set their sights lower until they find the guy who they can nab. Women find a guy, but usually its after having to set their sights lower and lower.

Every woman wants the perfect guy who is rich and handsome. And many think they deserve that kind of guy. But then they realize that a guy like that probably doesn't want HER, so they learn to settle for less. And less. Until they find a mate.

They settle. Understand?

jester, honestly, you're a young guy with pretty much no experience with women correct? There's nothing wrong with that, but at least accept that maybe you don't know everything. Some of the stuff you come up with is just, well, freakin' naive.

I think in today’s internet and social media world where young people post just about everything about their lives and make it known to the world; has helped take the stigma out of many things, particularly sex (e.g. sexting; etc).

The internet also makes it easy and relatively anonymous for women to be hoes, even if part-time; w/o having to stand in a corner – and the anonymity and ease the internet offers makes it kind of easy and practical to hoe even if on the side for just some extra cash.

In the old days – a woman would have to stand in a corner looking slutty; for the most part – today girls see other girls that look just like them (girl next door) advertising on the internet and getting paid.

Yeah, I think you have a good point Papi....

I think with the self centered internet/Facebook/"ME" society, now being selfish has become more of a way of life. Chasing money and being famous and being envied and promoting yourself is the new way of life. And posting BS about yourself is standard practice.

Maybe the negative stigmas against sluts are slowly dissolving with the younger folks. Although even in other cultures that is a HUGE stigma against sluts and "easy" women, and I can't imagine it just fading away. Maybe people just suppress it in favor of big rewards.

I have to agree with Jerikson on the idea that women are looking for a big payday. Here's the proof:

When the credit bubble burst and the housing market cratered, we saw unusually large numbers of seemingly affluent couples suddenly upside-down in their homes with wave after wave of debt. Shock of all shocks -- when the money ran tight, the couples divorced. Then the women lost 25 pounds and put themselves back on the market. Some of the men wound up on this site. LOL Seriously, though, follow the money -- it tells the story. Remember -- a cliche becomes a cliche because it is often true. Why else do you think 51% of the country is currently single? The economy has not improved enough, yet -- there are not enough prosperous catches.

You know what makes for a good catch to a 26 year-old stripper? A 45 year-old making $90K (that used to make $150K)! She thinks it's a lot of money! To the ex-wife, not so much.

Really? Look at what you said. Most women are married by what, 25-26? If they spend "their lives" looking for a rich partner then I guess "their lives" are about 7 years long?

If women were as obsessed with money as you claim, a common cliche, then they'd wait longer to get married and/or marry significantly older and more established men.

"jester, honestly, you're a young guy with pretty much no experience with women correct?"

Wrong. Seriously man? A couple of weeks ago you claimed you didn't know my gender, now you know how old I am and how experienced I am with women?

Jerikson, seriously, you're just a grouchy old misogynist correct?

Pensionking, wrong pal. Divorce rate was lowest during the economic recession. It's gone back up as the economy has improved.

Damn, I hate when you guys use big words and I have to look them up...

Misogynist...hates women...

Well, not really. What I despise is men or women who are dishonest and self centered and hypocritical and childish and money grubbing and a bunch of other things. And in my many years on this planet, unfortunately, I've found that many men and women have, at their core, many, most, or all of those bad traits.

As one great philisopher once said, "People never grow up. They just learn how to behave in public".

So I have become very practical, objective, and suspicious of people who claim to be otherwise. And, as others have mentioned, I've found that many negative cliches have truth at their core. Unfortunately.

If you honestly believe that most women are not, to a large extent, driven in their life decisions by money and the desire to be supported at a high level, then either you are incredibly naive or just have never dealt with women to any significant degree.

Remember that movie from around 1985, Hardbodies? The hot young women were all seemingly in search of the BBD. The bigger, better deal.

BTW, I never said women spend "their lives" looking for a rich partner. They only look long enough until they find one that they think will reasonably meet their needs. Game on. If circumstances never change -- 50 years of wedded bliss.

However, if circumstances change and their financial needs are no longer perceived as being met, then it is game over. Reload and the search begins again. Not for handsome. Not for charming. Not for wittty. But for the BBD. Every divorced couple I know personally were having money issues. Literally, every one. By the way, I think you could argue that women ARE waiting longer to get married. 27 is the new 21. Wait until the Millenials hit the streets with their massive student debt. Ugh, I shudder to think.

PS, before I get called grouchy, I'm still happily married. Well, I'm still married, anyway. LOL I see what I see with my own eyes and this is what I see in my corner of the world.

And keep in mind many or most women don't have the opportunity to mingle with the rich or very rich guys. Depending on where they are and their situation, a "rich" guy could be one making $100k, or one making $30 million a year.

So you take the best deal you can find, marry it, and hope for the best. And 50% of the time it fails because of, primarily, money.

Ever wonder why women are so very intent on MARRIAGE ? That is the prize, the gold ring. In the words of Beyonce, "All the single ladies...If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it".

That's the goal. Not being with a guy and being in love and living together...MARRIAGE. Legal and sealed with a ring. Because it's about money and support.

How many guys really want marriage? Hot sex, yeah. Someone to take care of them and cook and clean, yeah. But marriage? Guys never win with marriage. Especially when it's over.

Women get married fairly young, usually to guys not much older than them. Those guys generally don't have a ton of money? So explain that one?

Women make more than their spouses in about 25-35% (depending on who you believe) of marriages, and that number is on the rise.

I don't wonder at all why women are intent on marriage. I know it's because society tells them this is the right thing to do, get married, pop out some babies, live happily ever after.

Pensionking, I was quoting jerikson, not you.

Again if women are obsessed with money then why are they only spending a few years looking and ending up with a guy who likely doesn't have much yet?

As far as divorce and finances go I think the reality is when finances get strained (often because the parties involved were not financially prepared for marriage and parenthood) the stresses of daily life grow tremendously, which leads to more frequent arguments and what not. I'd say it'd pretty rare that financial issues come up in a marriage and the woman simply cuts and runs.

You can make all kinds of assertions based on your experiences and what you've observed but they don't mesh with the facts.

"Women get married fairly young, usually to guys not much older than them. Those guys generally don't have a ton of money? So explain that one?"

To the extent that is true, women are searching for, as I said, security and money. They WANT big security and big money. What they can get, or BELIEVE they can get at any point in time, and based on their situation, is up to them. Many get married early SPECIFICALLY because they want the security and money that a guy provides. They want it NOW, so they don't have to worry about being on their own and getting a job.

Ideally, they would, at age 19, have handsome, super-rich guys banging down their door and life would be grand. However, practically, they usually don't have that, so, as I said before, they SETTLE for what's available. It's a battle between what they want, and what they can have right now.

But the primary issue is that MONEY and the security associated with it are major factors in their life decisions. Sure, some are also very stupid and don't know how to get the best deal, and instead go for the quick win. But what they WANT is the big bucks and the security.

Geez, dude, is this so difficult to understand?

What you guys have obviously figured out by now is that jerkoffson knows nothing about anything.

LOL.

First it was "Majority of women spend their lives looking for a guy with a lot of money"

Now it's "Well they want a rich guy, but they quickly settle for a lot less"

Dude, face it, the facts don't mesh with your view point. If they did then we wouldn't have an increasing number of women who make more money than their partner AND an increasing number of women who don't want to give up their job for a family.

I have facts and evidence. You're just making assertions based on nothing tangible and then twisting them when confronted. Geez, dude, is this so difficult to understand?

"Majority of women spend their lives looking for a guy with a lot of money"

Clearly I overstated that point, especially when there are people like you who are so intent on finding fault on details, rather than accepting the general premise and concepts.

My point was that women's prime focus, throughout their lives, is money and the security it brings. Different women define "money" and "security" differently, but it is still a huge player in their life decisions.

And even if they are married, if they have an opportunity for a much better deal show up, they will, in general, seriously consider jumping ship.

The fact that increasing numbers of women have chosen to work and make more than their partner is further proof that money rules. Not staying home and taking care of the family, as was past practice. But making twice as much money. It's all about money. Now women can afford much nicer houses and cars and vacations because there are two parents working.

What happens to the kids? Who gives a fuck? Leave them with a nanny. Because money rules. That's why they don't want to give up their jobs.

At a 30-40k 'regular' job, after withholdings, she can't afford rent in DC let alone any having a life beyond that.

Having one SD, is not stooping to a lower level of stripper/hooker in the SB's eyes. She's desperate for $ but not desperate enough to go 'further' than being an SB.

IMO, the whole thing about women only wanting a guy with deep pockets is over blown. How many other post have come and gone about stripper or even civies with looser/unemployed BFs? women now a days want a guy who makes them wet. period. Money just makes it easier for them to overlook what they don't like about you.

"How many other post have come and gone about stripper or even civies with looser/unemployed BFs?"

True, but if we're looking at the population of women as a whole, strippers with unemployed BF's aren't really typical. I think it's safe to say that's small group of emotionally fucked girls who have so many other issues that even they don't know what's going on. Some go for the umemployed loser musician, others, who can and are hot enough, go for the guy who will throw money their way.

What we're talking about is general and pervasive tendencies with women. Of course it doesn't apply to everyone....nothing does.

What about the stigma of sugar babies with stigmatas? What about that?

And by the way, there are probably a LOT of strippers who have unemployed loser musician boyfriends, as well as older, rich, sugar daddies on the side. The best of both worlds. The money and security they crave, as well as the bad boy, narcissistic manipulator who makes them cum in their pants.

"What about the stigma of sugar babies with stigmatas? What about that?"

Stupid, but still hilarious.....

Sclvr5005: "What you guys have obviously figured out by now is that jerkoffson knows nothing about anything."

Bingo!

"At a 30-40k 'regular' job, after withholdings, she can't afford rent in DC let alone any having a life beyond that.
Having one SD, is not stooping to a lower level of stripper/hooker in the SB's eyes. She's desperate for $ but not desperate enough to go 'further' than being an SB."

@mjx01 - very perceptive comments and I think you are spot on!

"What about the stigma of sugar babies with stigmatas? What about that?"

Well, they were caught red-handed...

"Having one SD, is not stooping to a lower level of stripper/hooker in the SB's eyes. She's desperate for $ but not desperate enough to go 'further' than being an SB."

I agree with steve229...those could be very perceptive comments...if I could just figure out what they mean....

+1 for red handed Steve dude

There is no longer any shame attached to the idea that a young woman can play an older man for his money. Why not? There are websites set up for making arrangements to be a sugar daddy, with women openly making themselves available. It's becoming an acceptable alternative to marrying a guy for his money. In television interviews sugar babies have admitted to entering into multiple relationships to pay off student loans, get a condo down payment or finance a business venture.

They argue that they are more honest than women who marry a guy that they do not love for the primary purpose of having access to his money and business connections. A PL husband may or may not know the deal he has made, but the SD knows that this is a business deal and nothing more.

Yeah, I'm no fan of steve229 and his 16y/o girl antics, but that red-handed one was good.

“… IMO, the whole thing about women only wanting a guy with deep pockets is over blown. How many other post have come and gone about stripper or even civies with looser/unemployed BFs …”

Perhaps they just don’t know any better – that is why there is the saying among women “the first time is for love and the second time is for $$$” – not that every woman practices this but it is a saying.

@Papi - I've heard my SB make a few disparaging remarks about her ex-BF. Sounds like your typical young, broke-ass knucklehead.

Apparently the final straw was when he wanted to take her to the Cheesecake Factory for her birthday. What a loser!

^^^ did the loser give her advice on which is the better investment now: real estate or the stock market?