OT: On the social stigma (or lack thereof) of being a “Sugar Baby”
I took my sugar baby out this week to try a new DC restaurant that the foodies were all raving about. When her meal came, she snapped a picture of the plating with her phone, and said she was going to send it to her girlfriends. “I’ve been telling them about you, and they’re all jealous” she said with a mischievous grin.
Naturally I was taken aback by this. I told her I assumed she kept things vague, and probably referred to me as some kind of a “friend,” but she said no, all her girlfriends knew she had a Sugar Daddy now.
She said her friends were very interested, asking about what kind of arrangement we had, what we did, where we went, etc. She said a couple of her friends were thinking about getting on the site as well.
Now as I’ve mentioned before, my SB is a 25 yo “civilian” girl-next-door type, college graduate from a normal middle class family with a regular job in DC, and her friends are girls she went to college with or met at her work.
In those circumstances I would have thought she would want to keep our arrangement discreet to avoid any social stigma, but apparently that’s not the case – if anything, being a Sugar Baby seems to carry some cachet in her social circle.
Thoughts?
Naturally I was taken aback by this. I told her I assumed she kept things vague, and probably referred to me as some kind of a “friend,” but she said no, all her girlfriends knew she had a Sugar Daddy now.
She said her friends were very interested, asking about what kind of arrangement we had, what we did, where we went, etc. She said a couple of her friends were thinking about getting on the site as well.
Now as I’ve mentioned before, my SB is a 25 yo “civilian” girl-next-door type, college graduate from a normal middle class family with a regular job in DC, and her friends are girls she went to college with or met at her work.
In those circumstances I would have thought she would want to keep our arrangement discreet to avoid any social stigma, but apparently that’s not the case – if anything, being a Sugar Baby seems to carry some cachet in her social circle.
Thoughts?
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
54 comments
Foody?
OR just reread the story and it makes alot more sense if it's just a 16y/o girl who went out with other her BFFs telling it.
I'm not really interested in going out to eat or anything much less if that's not involved.
I always pictured lonely guys just wanting to be seen with a young girl.
In Steve's case gets to gossip about celebrities. Who Beyoncé and Rihanna are dating. Which rapper is facing assault charges. That kind of thing.
In my case, they get some groovy groovy discussion of sci fi and comic books.
I bet a sugar baby would dig your alien tales.
So if she's preggo again, who's the daddy?
Now, that being said, there is also an understanding among women that money rules. Most women spend their lives seeking out a partner with big money. They never say that, but all women know that money rules. Instead, they say they're looking for a "good provider" or some such bullshit. No, they want some basketball player or corporate CEO who can give them a private jet and unlimited credit card.
Therefore, when you're talking about "sugar babies" and their close girlfriends, there is an understanding that the rules of the game are to find some guy who will give them money. Lots of it. And if they have to be sluts in return, well, you gotta do what you gotta do. That's why most women are such fucking hypocrites. They put up an "eminent front", trying to show what pure virgins they are, but in fact as soon as money enters the picture they are sluts for a buck. No different from the girl who just happens to "fall in love" with the multimillion $$ basketball player. Love depends a lot on the amount of money involved.
Therefore, between girlfriends, this chick scored big. Free money, and all you have to give up is your inner slut. Would she announce this to the rest of the world? Hell no. Only to those she has a close understanding with, and who understand that money rules.
Now, as far as the social stigma of some guy who empties his wallet to some stupid stripper just so she'll have sex with him and act like she likes him, well that's pretty clear. The guy who does that is a total loser, and as most women would say, a "perv", and he should get a real girlfriend and stop paying for sex.
jerkoffson: <blah, blah, blah mindless drivel above>
<sarcasm>See, JohnSmith, jerikson figured them out.
jerkoffson: " there is an understanding that the rules of the game are to find some guy who will give them money. Lots of it."
Kind of hard to imagine that steve229 will be able to do that on his $40k/y civil servant salary.
Are you fucking retarded or do you just buy into every cliche you've ever heard? If this was remotely true then "most" of the men and women in this country would never find a partner.
Well if you thought about it just a LITTLE bit you'd realize why.
There are few rich men in the world. There are many poor men in the world. Therefore, women who are seeking money must be able to attract the rich guys, or, if not, progressively set their sights lower until they find the guy who they can nab. Women find a guy, but usually its after having to set their sights lower and lower.
Every woman wants the perfect guy who is rich and handsome. And many think they deserve that kind of guy. But then they realize that a guy like that probably doesn't want HER, so they learn to settle for less. And less. Until they find a mate.
They settle. Understand?
The internet also makes it easy and relatively anonymous for women to be hoes, even if part-time; w/o having to stand in a corner – and the anonymity and ease the internet offers makes it kind of easy and practical to hoe even if on the side for just some extra cash.
In the old days – a woman would have to stand in a corner looking slutty; for the most part – today girls see other girls that look just like them (girl next door) advertising on the internet and getting paid.
I think with the self centered internet/Facebook/"ME" society, now being selfish has become more of a way of life. Chasing money and being famous and being envied and promoting yourself is the new way of life. And posting BS about yourself is standard practice.
Maybe the negative stigmas against sluts are slowly dissolving with the younger folks. Although even in other cultures that is a HUGE stigma against sluts and "easy" women, and I can't imagine it just fading away. Maybe people just suppress it in favor of big rewards.
When the credit bubble burst and the housing market cratered, we saw unusually large numbers of seemingly affluent couples suddenly upside-down in their homes with wave after wave of debt. Shock of all shocks -- when the money ran tight, the couples divorced. Then the women lost 25 pounds and put themselves back on the market. Some of the men wound up on this site. LOL Seriously, though, follow the money -- it tells the story. Remember -- a cliche becomes a cliche because it is often true. Why else do you think 51% of the country is currently single? The economy has not improved enough, yet -- there are not enough prosperous catches.
You know what makes for a good catch to a 26 year-old stripper? A 45 year-old making $90K (that used to make $150K)! She thinks it's a lot of money! To the ex-wife, not so much.
If women were as obsessed with money as you claim, a common cliche, then they'd wait longer to get married and/or marry significantly older and more established men.
Wrong. Seriously man? A couple of weeks ago you claimed you didn't know my gender, now you know how old I am and how experienced I am with women?
Jerikson, seriously, you're just a grouchy old misogynist correct?
Misogynist...hates women...
Well, not really. What I despise is men or women who are dishonest and self centered and hypocritical and childish and money grubbing and a bunch of other things. And in my many years on this planet, unfortunately, I've found that many men and women have, at their core, many, most, or all of those bad traits.
As one great philisopher once said, "People never grow up. They just learn how to behave in public".
So I have become very practical, objective, and suspicious of people who claim to be otherwise. And, as others have mentioned, I've found that many negative cliches have truth at their core. Unfortunately.
If you honestly believe that most women are not, to a large extent, driven in their life decisions by money and the desire to be supported at a high level, then either you are incredibly naive or just have never dealt with women to any significant degree.
BTW, I never said women spend "their lives" looking for a rich partner. They only look long enough until they find one that they think will reasonably meet their needs. Game on. If circumstances never change -- 50 years of wedded bliss.
However, if circumstances change and their financial needs are no longer perceived as being met, then it is game over. Reload and the search begins again. Not for handsome. Not for charming. Not for wittty. But for the BBD. Every divorced couple I know personally were having money issues. Literally, every one. By the way, I think you could argue that women ARE waiting longer to get married. 27 is the new 21. Wait until the Millenials hit the streets with their massive student debt. Ugh, I shudder to think.
PS, before I get called grouchy, I'm still happily married. Well, I'm still married, anyway. LOL I see what I see with my own eyes and this is what I see in my corner of the world.
So you take the best deal you can find, marry it, and hope for the best. And 50% of the time it fails because of, primarily, money.
Ever wonder why women are so very intent on MARRIAGE ? That is the prize, the gold ring. In the words of Beyonce, "All the single ladies...If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it".
That's the goal. Not being with a guy and being in love and living together...MARRIAGE. Legal and sealed with a ring. Because it's about money and support.
How many guys really want marriage? Hot sex, yeah. Someone to take care of them and cook and clean, yeah. But marriage? Guys never win with marriage. Especially when it's over.
Women make more than their spouses in about 25-35% (depending on who you believe) of marriages, and that number is on the rise.
I don't wonder at all why women are intent on marriage. I know it's because society tells them this is the right thing to do, get married, pop out some babies, live happily ever after.
Again if women are obsessed with money then why are they only spending a few years looking and ending up with a guy who likely doesn't have much yet?
As far as divorce and finances go I think the reality is when finances get strained (often because the parties involved were not financially prepared for marriage and parenthood) the stresses of daily life grow tremendously, which leads to more frequent arguments and what not. I'd say it'd pretty rare that financial issues come up in a marriage and the woman simply cuts and runs.
To the extent that is true, women are searching for, as I said, security and money. They WANT big security and big money. What they can get, or BELIEVE they can get at any point in time, and based on their situation, is up to them. Many get married early SPECIFICALLY because they want the security and money that a guy provides. They want it NOW, so they don't have to worry about being on their own and getting a job.
Ideally, they would, at age 19, have handsome, super-rich guys banging down their door and life would be grand. However, practically, they usually don't have that, so, as I said before, they SETTLE for what's available. It's a battle between what they want, and what they can have right now.
But the primary issue is that MONEY and the security associated with it are major factors in their life decisions. Sure, some are also very stupid and don't know how to get the best deal, and instead go for the quick win. But what they WANT is the big bucks and the security.
Geez, dude, is this so difficult to understand?
First it was "Majority of women spend their lives looking for a guy with a lot of money"
Now it's "Well they want a rich guy, but they quickly settle for a lot less"
Dude, face it, the facts don't mesh with your view point. If they did then we wouldn't have an increasing number of women who make more money than their partner AND an increasing number of women who don't want to give up their job for a family.
I have facts and evidence. You're just making assertions based on nothing tangible and then twisting them when confronted. Geez, dude, is this so difficult to understand?
Clearly I overstated that point, especially when there are people like you who are so intent on finding fault on details, rather than accepting the general premise and concepts.
My point was that women's prime focus, throughout their lives, is money and the security it brings. Different women define "money" and "security" differently, but it is still a huge player in their life decisions.
And even if they are married, if they have an opportunity for a much better deal show up, they will, in general, seriously consider jumping ship.
The fact that increasing numbers of women have chosen to work and make more than their partner is further proof that money rules. Not staying home and taking care of the family, as was past practice. But making twice as much money. It's all about money. Now women can afford much nicer houses and cars and vacations because there are two parents working.
What happens to the kids? Who gives a fuck? Leave them with a nanny. Because money rules. That's why they don't want to give up their jobs.
Having one SD, is not stooping to a lower level of stripper/hooker in the SB's eyes. She's desperate for $ but not desperate enough to go 'further' than being an SB.
IMO, the whole thing about women only wanting a guy with deep pockets is over blown. How many other post have come and gone about stripper or even civies with looser/unemployed BFs? women now a days want a guy who makes them wet. period. Money just makes it easier for them to overlook what they don't like about you.
True, but if we're looking at the population of women as a whole, strippers with unemployed BF's aren't really typical. I think it's safe to say that's small group of emotionally fucked girls who have so many other issues that even they don't know what's going on. Some go for the umemployed loser musician, others, who can and are hot enough, go for the guy who will throw money their way.
What we're talking about is general and pervasive tendencies with women. Of course it doesn't apply to everyone....nothing does.
Stupid, but still hilarious.....
Bingo!
Having one SD, is not stooping to a lower level of stripper/hooker in the SB's eyes. She's desperate for $ but not desperate enough to go 'further' than being an SB."
@mjx01 - very perceptive comments and I think you are spot on!
Well, they were caught red-handed...
I agree with steve229...those could be very perceptive comments...if I could just figure out what they mean....
They argue that they are more honest than women who marry a guy that they do not love for the primary purpose of having access to his money and business connections. A PL husband may or may not know the deal he has made, but the SD knows that this is a business deal and nothing more.
Perhaps they just don’t know any better – that is why there is the saying among women “the first time is for love and the second time is for $$$” – not that every woman practices this but it *is* a saying.
Apparently the final straw was when he wanted to take her to the Cheesecake Factory for her birthday. What a loser!