tuscl

How do you choose the perfect stripper for a lapdance?

Friday, August 29, 2014 10:42 AM
Obviously there is no full proof answer, but has anyone developed an algorithm, a system, a code, or a set of guidelines to know what strippers with give the best lapdances?

44 comments

  • londonguy
    •
    10 years ago
    There's no way of knowing, but some of my more esteemed fellow TUSCL friends may beg to differ. There's no correlation between looks and the ability to give a great dance.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    No way to know for sure – one kinda develops a gut-feeling after a while similar to when a chick is getting hit-on by a dude and she feels he is full of shit. Some red flags for me: + she asks for a drink right away + she tells you how wild she is and how she is the best and how she is going to show you a real good time. + if she is not touchy feely – i.e. when you are getting to know each other and she does not like being touched or she seems adverse or disinterested in touching you (I’m not talking full-out groping but touchy-feely) + if the dance area is open – observe how she dances for others + observe how she treats custies when getting tipped on stage – or tip her on stage and see how she responds Not saying these are full-prove methods – often times one just needs to bite the bullet and get *one* dance – but I tend to follow my gut and def don’t commit to anymore than one dance.
  • SuperDude
    •
    10 years ago
    She talks about her bills, boyfriend and tips. No go.
  • steve229
    •
    10 years ago
    Hopefully San Jose Guy will provide some of his insights
  • mikeya02
    •
    10 years ago
    Ask her if she likes bacon. If she does, you have a winner.
  • Prim0
    •
    10 years ago
    I've gotten some pretty wild dancers who were on the petite/scrawny side. They are usually not the best looking ladies in the club and tend to have a rocker look. That's about the only consistent thing I've picked up in my experience.
  • rockstar666
    •
    10 years ago
    No way to tell. Hotness has nothing to do with it. Although black and Latina girls give the most mileage in my experience. White and Asians are more hit and miss.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    10 years ago
    Dougster says ... The System, The System! San Jose Guy says ... blah blah blah blah blah blah .... (And it keeps going long after you've lost consciousness) The trolls all say ... fuck you Jackie Jerikson40 says ... it doesn't really matter what he says, it will be something that is the exact opposite of what every sane and rational person would think about the subject matter. Mikeya02 says something irrelevant about bacon. Shadowcat says that he gets whatever he wants from all the dancers at Follies for less than $100 even though he's older than the hills. Lapdanceking says something that will involve him cuming in his pants under any and all circumstances, probably even at church. If I left someone out, feel free to reply on your own. Everyone else, you're welcome.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    10 years ago
    LMN says . . . Nothing. He's either dead from a drug overdose or moved on to try and impress some other anonymous forum with his fake wealth.
  • skibum609
    •
    10 years ago
    Last night, while angering my atf by not getting dances from her I drank with a dancer I hadn't danced with yet. Very young (21), very pretty, but very all-american looking and innocent looking so I am not feeling it. I say to her I am undecided on dances because you are so young and innocent looking. She replied: how about this. She then turned my bar stool towards her leaned forward, ran both her hands up my legs, and kissed me. Champagne room I decided. Btw why I like my club? Maybe 80 customers last night - 45 dancers - with at least 25 - 30 between 7-10. Locking CRs, 20% off drinks and a private, members only section with a 4 sytar restaurant. Just basic free food downstairs.
  • TeenyWeeny
    •
    10 years ago
    watch both the dancer and the customer as they return from the LD area. If the dancer heads straight to the bathroom or dressing room, and the customer heads staight out the door or to the bathroom, that's a sign that a good dance was had.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    10 years ago
    Johnsmith69 says ... Of course no way to tell for sure who will give a good dance. However, one indicator that sometimes works is the level of the greeting that you get tipping at the stage. A couple nights ago, I walked up to the stage to drop few dollars on a really cute little blonde. She starts rubbing her mouth up and down on my dick through my pants, then puts her nipples in my mouth, and then grabs my hands and puts them on her ass. I'm thinking I bet this girl does a good lapdance, and I was very right.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    10 years ago
    "watch both the dancer and the customer as they return from the LD area. If the dancer heads straight to the bathroom or dressing room, and the customer heads staight out the door or to the bathroom, that's a sign that a good dance was had." Very true. Has worked well for me on a few occasions.
  • shadowcat
    •
    10 years ago
    As JohnSmith69 says "I get whatever I want from all the dancers at Follies for less than $100" so I don't worry about it. If she looks decent I'll give her a shot.
  • Aravas
    •
    10 years ago
    The phatness of the ass
  • Rabbit21
    •
    10 years ago
    Don't have anything to add beyond it was nodding my head to all of Papi Chulo's points. Great indicators.
  • gatorfan
    •
    10 years ago
    Taste test
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    TeenyWeeny had the best answer: watch what happens after they dance with another customer, and if he heads directly for the restroom, chances are high he achieved blastoff. Second thing I do is watch how she performs in the public LD area. Does she lead the guy to a dark secluded corner, away from prying eyes of management? Usually clubs have the well known "mileage corner" where all the nasty strippers take their customers. And then of course, watch how they dance in the public area first. That's why I love clubs with open LD areas where you can scope the action first. If I have a hot dancer in my sights, and she seems like a player, I might even grab another dancer for a lapdance while the hottie is doing her thing just so I can get an upclose view of what she's doing. Also, I'll occasionally bring it up in discussions with other dancers, trying to find out who the nasty girls are. Often they're more than happy to tell you who the naughty girls are. So you can avoid them of course.
  • Duke69
    •
    10 years ago
    Look for the dancer that gives you the most attention for free...this is my onest method I will low ball in a club for a week or month just to see witch dancers enjoy me without the money...then boom add money and stir...its worked well for me
  • sclvr5005
    •
    10 years ago
    Wait for them to walk under a blacklight and look for the glowing jizz stains on their person or clothing.
  • Duke69
    •
    10 years ago
    Lol...that could work as well lol
  • chandler
    •
    10 years ago
    It's not complicated. I go with the hottest looking stripper I can find, unless she doesn't seem fun. If her dances turn out to be no good, then I move on to the next hottest girl, and so on. But usually my first choice gives the best dances. I don't pay much attention to what dancers do with other guys. It doesn't tell me much about what she'll do with me, and besides, I'm not there to watch guys.
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    I scope out the cars in the parking lot. I find the dancer with plates IMEZ
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    Wow, chandler, it seems you've hit upon a method that defies the universal law of "the hotter the girl, the lower the mileage". I'm impressed. Dance with the hottest girl if you want the best mileage. Wow. And don't care what they do with other guys, because YOU are the one she'll be nasty for, even if she does nothing with other guys. Hold on, let me write that down in my strip club users manual.
  • chandler
    •
    10 years ago
    Well, I said it wasn't complicated, but it may be a little too mind blowing for some to handle.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    Not mind blowing....just bullshit.
  • chandler
    •
    10 years ago
    Works for me. You must be doing it wrong, sport.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    I'll let the rest of the guys here comment on your method....maybe I am doing it wrong...but I kinda doubt it...
  • lopaw
    •
    10 years ago
    If she's decent looking and she sticks her hands down my shirt or my pants or starts DFK while we are still out on the main floor, I figure she's good to go in the VIP. Haven't been wrong yet.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    I would say your best chance is to look for those described above... Plus... ... this information that will surely get you farther than she would let you. If you can read signs, try reading her if she's ovulating. I've had good results simply reading her signs. She can't get away with this one, though. Check out the webpage, just one of the things you will find out there. 1) [view link] 2) [view link]
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    Try hooking her up to a lie detector while she is at your table.
  • Duke69
    •
    10 years ago
    Lol silly Mo head
  • bubba267
    •
    10 years ago
    Chandler's answer is what he does that works for him. I'm much the same. In the "extras" or "best lap dance" department, some value a more "sure thing" over the value of getting the cutest/prettiest girl to go as far as possible. I don't bat over .500, mostly due to going with 7.5-9s for a first time VIP. I have never had success with this quality type girl negotiating specifics on the floor. As shadow recently mentioned , even the tried and true test drive works only part of the time. I just try to be a nice likeable guy and use a combination of conversation, dances and humor to see if the girl has game. I do believe each guy is different, and should stay true to their natural style. Shadow is a perfect example - he's the lovable " teddy bear", no bullshit guy who knows what he wants, treats the girls nice and stay true to his form. He seems to be successful, and has cuties around him every time it see him. Proofing this I realize I'm channeling SJG... So " F" it... I'll just say Chandler and my style align. Different strokes for different folks....
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Jerkoffson: "the universal law of 'the hotter the girl, the lower the mileage'" More proof you are a complete idiot, jerkoffson. IME, the hottest girls are also the ones who tend to be the ones who give the best mileage. Win-win.
  • shadowcat
    •
    10 years ago
    I've known Chandler for quite a few years. We differ in our approaches and likes but we do share intel and have sent dancers to each other.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    "I've had good results simply reading her signs. She can't get away with this one, though." Well, the results of the study say that it works 60% of the time. About the same as a coin toss. And considering that many/most strippers generally try to look their best as part of their job, I'm sure the odds of this method working drop drastically. Makeup, jewelry, nice outfit, hair looking nice... I dunno, sounds like one of those things that is fun to believe if you want to believe it, but otherwise isn't really of much use.
  • ujay
    •
    10 years ago
    Well, I may be the only one on this board that work very hard for my dollars. I always want to ensure that there is value for my dollars. I can not afford to throw my money away, so I am mindful with my selection for the VIP. Generally, the girl who will sit and talk with me at the bar is the first step to a great experience. I then take her for a test run. If she takes off her panties in the common lapdance room, or shift my dick with her hands or mouth, or kiss me or rub her breast over my dick, I am sure that the stars have aligned. I have never gone wrong with this method. Price becomes a secondary issue. The VIP room is generally $125 in my area. I will then suggest a $100 - $200 tip; total: $225 - $325. Is she agrees, we are out to the races.
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    For me it's pretty much trial and error. Most of the time if I have a good feeling about it, then I'll go with it.
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    "Well, I may be the only one on this board that work very hard for my dollars. I always want to ensure that there is value for my dollars. I can not afford to throw my money away" What? Poppycock! You don't make $350,000 a year ?
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    Sometimes your physique can have an effect as well. Having a good physique can make the dancer stare at you with a look that will make you cum. Man, I couldn't forget that stare from that dancer, her eyes were like fucking me. She never even said a word, it was all about the eyes, we locked eyes for at least a minute. Then she walked away, thinking I would follow and buy a dance...never happened. Anyway, if you have the body, use it to your advantage, coz money follows next.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    "She never even said a word, it was all about the eyes..." Okay...so, since she never said a word, and you never got a dance, how did you know she was interested in your physique? Maybe she was just using one of her methods for making customers think she liked them and therefore make them want to buy a dance?
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    "And considering that many/most strippers generally try to look their best as part of their job, I'm sure the odds of this method working drop drastically. Makeup, jewelry, nice outfit, hair looking nice..." Yeah, a job is a job. No arguing with that. When I take my CF to work, she usually dolls up inside the car. Boy, she can hide anything under that layer of minerals, though. No telling if she is ovulating or not by just simply looking at her face. But then, I would know if she is ON by simply reading her body movements, she can't hide no matter what she does. There is someone in there saying "fuck me." And there are days when she is just a B*, so I stay away and just spend time SC'ing.
  • DandyDan
    •
    10 years ago
    The best theory I can come up with is if they sit and talk with you and the conversation just has a natural flow to it. If she just sits there like a rock and doesn't say anything, she's likely not good. Girls who will talk with you seem likely to do more. OTOH, one of my old faves was not much more than a "wanna dance?" chick and yet she took great pride in her BJ's and loved to show off how much she swallowed.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    10 years ago
    I'm with chandler. Start with the hottest who will pay any attention to me, offer her some money, and see what happens. It works often enough that others' assertions that it's "bullshit" just make me laugh.
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