Just curious, what the biggest load of bs you ever told a stripper?

33 comments

• FONDL

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  19 years ago

  One of the things that I like most about going to strip clubs is that I can be myself, no masks, no BS, just me. It's one of the few places on earth where that's possible for me. So why would I want to ruin it by pretending to be someone else, like I often have to do in "real" life?
• themailman

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  19 years ago

  Like many of you, just being myself is the way I play it now. But...occasionally I'll make some crap up just to see if it will fly. I told a stripper in Memphis that I worked for Animal Planet and was in town to shoot a documentary on the Mississippi River Penguin. She said she didn't know there were such things, I said "Oh yeah, up north in the headwaters of the river there are..." She bought it. I saw her about a month later and she remembered me. I told her I had fed her a bunch of crap and we had a good laugh.
• chitownlawyer

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  19 years ago

  At the risk of sounding sanctimonious, I really never wanted to put that much energy into a trip to a strip club, so I've never bs'ed a dancer. I may not answer every question that is put to me, but I don't use aliases, make up stories about who I am, why I am there, where I am from etc. But I may just be a lot lazier than other PL's.
• johnnylingo

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  19 years ago

  One night, a dancer "P" sits next to me and says she's doing a shower show soon, and I should check it out. Now, she's not exactly my type in several ways, so I say sure but don't go back to see it. She comes back after the show, saying she didn't see me back there. I point to another dancer, "C", who had just been on stage, and said she was my favorite dancer and I couldn't miss seeing her. "P" says she understands and goes away. A few minutes later, "C", sneaks up behind me and gets very affectionate, saying "heyyyy haven't seen you in a while!". Well of course she hadn't, as I'd never been in the club before. "P" had told "C" I was watching her, and "C" obviously thought I was a former regular she'd forgotten about. "C" wasn't my type either, so I had to get rid of her too. Like they all say, lying usually just makes it worse.
• gatorjoe2

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  19 years ago

  driver's comment brings up a good point... Mnay of the dancers who talk with me for the first time, usually ask where I am from. Usuaully if I am local... Do the girls treat "locals" better as they can be regulars more often or out of towners better b/c they can spend more money? As for the biggest BS... No matter how many times I go to a place it is my first time if I have never seen her before. As for the other biggest lie, told one I was about to graduate from law school, she liked the idea.
• casualguy

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  19 years ago

  I usually tell things like they are as well but I've known times when I may have drunk more than normal and I started creating stories. They must have been good stories because I remember strippers talking about them on later visits and I didn't remember very much about what story I told. I've heard a lot of true stories that sound more interesting than fiction anyway.
• driver01

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  19 years ago

  The very first time I went to a strip club, I confessed to an unbelievably attractive dancer that it was indeed my first time at any type of establishment of this sort. I was right out of college and traveling on business. I must have appeared nervous and she kind of "adopted" me for the evening. Did not spend nearly what I now know would have been appropriate and had the time of my life. Never went back as I returned home shortly thereafter. After that I started frequenting clubs back home(this was many years ago) and each time I went to a new club I used that same line(this is my first time, etc). Got a lot of pretty good mileage as I behaved like a gentleman and took whatever was offered. At the time, I didn't even think of this as a BS line but looking back it most certainly was. Now, of course, one look at me and any girl not smoking crack would laugh in my face if I tried that line again...LOL. Nowadays, I find it much easier to just go in and be myself-- that's seems to work pretty well too.
• komey1970

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  19 years ago

  I'll agree with the majority here. The only differance is that I might tell a dancer I came from the casino or something like that. I don't tell them I won a lot of money, usually I say I broke even.
• jctone

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  19 years ago

  Hear, hear FONDL. Perfect way to approach this. Dancers hear BS daily. A little truth will go a long way to start a friendship. For the most part, dancers hear BS all the time from customers, their boyfriend, their family and so on. Be different, be real.
• FONDL

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  19 years ago

  I'm with Shadowcat, I never BS strippers. I've found that if I'm open and honest with them, they will usually treat me the same way. Then it feels much more like a friendship than a dancer-customer relationship, which for me makes it more enjoyable. And contrary to what some people here may think, no one goes to a strip club looking for a friend. But finding a girl who is willing to treat you like one can be very pleasant.
• DandyDan

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  19 years ago

  When I am far from home, I usually BS a reason as to why I am in the area. I did tell one once I was on the way to the nearby college because I was hoping to be in the PHD program, interesting in that I dropped out before getting a bachelor's, a BS if you wish.
• RomanticLover

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  19 years ago

  Some customers who are LOOKING FOR FRIENDSHIP in a strip club may have told a stripper they are only there for ENTERTAINMENT when in fact they are DESPERATE FOR AFFECTION
• parodyman-->

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  19 years ago

  All the time I tell strippers that I am RL. I tell them, "I'm a BADASS and a SMOOTH CRIMINAL." I do this while wearing my STOLEN LEATHER JACKET and brandishing my SWITCHBLADE. Then I follow it up with, "BITCH you won't get more than FIVE DOLLARS out of me!" Then they fall to their knees and... Well you know.
• TopGunGlen

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  19 years ago

  Well, I'm a little ashamed to admit it, but many years ago, I told this gal I was in line to be one of the astronauts to go on a moon shot. I know enough about flying to bullshit her, and this was back when astronauts were considered very hot. I think they still are, but nobody would believe me now...:-@
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  "The biggest load of bs I ever told a stripper" is that I prefer the change from dollar bills to the new dollar coins. :)
• casualguy

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  18 years ago

  I once had the rare privilege of being asked by a dancer what specific field of work I was in after I told her the general area such as engineering. Apparently she had a relative in a similiar field of work and actually knew a lot more than most dancers. I even met one dancer who was pretty and smart and had a college degree. Very unusual at least for me to meet such a dancer. I think she told me she was making a whole lot more money dancing than she could with her college degree. I don't know how long that lasted for her though. As far as bsing goes, it can be easy especially if you've been drinking. I can just tell weird but true stories or make up sci fi or horror stories or talk about crazy dreams I had without fear of it being documented on the net. Some may call me a bit paranoid but I don't feel like giving out too much detailed info about myself. If I was really paranoid I wouldn't say anything on any discussion board about myself. If I thought I was completely anonymous it would be a different story. Since I know any government agent with the right connections can find out who I am, I don't feel that way. I did feel anonymous when I first started using the internet and had a lot of fun. After reading how emails and messages can be used against you in a court of law or pinpointed to you, I feel different about what I'm willing to post. If it wasn't for a busy work schedule and the internet, it's possible I could have been another Steven King writer. I have the imagination and the crazy ideas. Just never got the desire and probably don't have the writing skills. It's fun telling stories to strippers on occasion though.
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  I do agree, chicks dig pilots. Didn't mean to disparage that thought. I just don't see the relation. Shadowcat's general demeanor and strong sense of maverick independence notwithstanding :), I think most of the pilots I've met are generally careful rather than aggressive, detail-oriented rather than swashbuckling. And no, again I agree, chicks DON'T dig info-tech skills or practicioners to any unusual degree. Ah well, another potentially sexy career down in flames ...
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  Seems your description of being a pilot differs with every single other description I've ever heard from anyone else who is a pilot. Nice to know you can respectfully differ with my experience without attacking my person or character, and only addressing the issue at hand in a cogent and germane manner. I still say C++ is just as interesting as flying a plane.
• DougS

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  18 years ago

  Book Guy: Actually, letting a girl know that I have my pilots license HAS helped on numerous occasions. Yeah, girls might be attracted to an airline pilot because he makes pretty good money, but that doesn't explain the attraction to a general aviation pilot who flies for his own pleasure. Many girls have expressed an interest in going for a ride. Additionally, some girls realize that someone that has earned their license is probably not some dumb asshole, and he is probably somewhat of a confident person. By the way, I've been a programmer for many years and know C++ among several other languages, and am a database administrator - not on Unix systems, however. You are correct about one thing. I've yet to meet ANY girl impressed with my IT knowledge. A few dancers have PRETENDED interest in my IT profession, though.
• casualguy

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  18 years ago

  After having a bit too much beer, I think I may have once told a stripper a story involving me and some aliens. It must have been a really good story because I remember she was asking me about it a week later when she saw me again. I couldn't remember anything but she seemed to be telling everyone about it. Maybe I forgot to mention it was just a crazy dream I had.
• casualguy

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  18 years ago

  I only remember I was really surprised to have a dancer still talking about a story I told a week later. I think I stopped telling stories after that. Nothing but the truth now.
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  I always wondered about the pilot-to-pussy equation. Most of the pilots I know, ex-military or military or not, are nerds. The best qualifications for a man who is going to use a rather large complicated machine to be the only thing standing between a cabin-full of passengers and a plunge to certain death, is ATTENTION TO DETAIL. Many military pilots might go into flying because of the thrill of speed, solo charging (like the knight on a steed of old), and individual maverick attitude. But the ones who make it, do so on the basis of nerdy checklists and slow, methodical care. To me, a chick getting turned on by a dude who drops info that he's a pilot, might as well get all wet when she finds out he knows C++ or can maintain a Unix database. :P
• DougS

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  18 years ago

  I have a private pilot certificate myself, and it has assisted me in both the "real world" and the clubs. It never hurts to drop that bit of info into a conversation. Also, if you dangle a possible ride in my plane in front of them like a carrot, it can have very positive results.
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  Yah, or if she remembers you. "Hey, last week you said you were an astronaut. Now you say you're a bank robber." "Yeah, I got kicked out of NASA." :)
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  I agree with Book Guy that bullshitting strippers is fun for its own sake. All the posts that say it "doesn't work" are missing the point. It's not a means to an end, a way to trick strippers into putting out (not that there's anything wrong with that). Also, there's no need to keep your stories straight. It's more fun to intentionally contradict yourself so you can tell if she's listening.
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  For my own amusement, I've concocted some stories. I generally let them get more and more unreasonable, to the point that I have to admit to the stripper that I'm BS-ing her, but I first get started on something interesting. It's fun! I don't usually do it IN ORDER to somehow gain an advantage over a girl by means of falsehood -- make her think more highly of me, or make her think I have more (or less!) money, or something. I'm just more interested in enjoying the story. Some things I've said: I'm a ghost writer working on a book by some celebrity -- oh no I couldn't tell you who -- or by a famous stripper in Vegas. I work for a private security firm in a nearby city and I'm tailing a dude who is cheating on his wife -- oh no, I wouldn't blow his cover, or mine, and anyway he left earlier. I invest in real estate and in electronic inventions, speculative capital type stuff. I know a dude who has invented a vibrator implant that can be remote controlled, and as soon as the Democrats win back Congress we're going to go for the patents. It actually reads the woman's brain waves (if she consents to wear the hat) and then drives its various stimuli to particular points in the pelvis -- the vagus nerve, the clitoris, the G-spot, etc. -- based on how the brain waves respond. The remove computer then senses appropriate receptors and responses by reading brain wave patterns, and attempts to induce orgasm intelligently. It's all controlled from a laptop. Once we get the remote down to the size of a keychain we're marketing it as a reverse chastity device. Husbands can control their wives, as long as a cell tower is in range, 24-7-365. No, it doesn't work on men. (Told in coastal cities.) There's this dude I know who has an airplane / boat. We go out sometimes, and sometimes we bring things back. That's all you need to know. I am an outdoor outfitter and guide. I am working up to hunting big game in Alaska. I'm a music producer. I'm a magazine writer. I'm a baseball scout. I'm a mystery shopper. I'm a fast food mystery tester. I'm a Harley dealer. I'm in the Federal Witness Protection Program, because I ratted out the mob. I told you most of them eventually got quite implausible. :)
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  I used to tell strippers that I just got out of prison for beating my wife, but I had to stop saying that, because so many of them wanted to take me home.
• casualguy

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  18 years ago

  Weird but true stories usually keep a dancers attention. However unless I'm already comfortable around a dancer, I won't even mention anything weird. RL actually resurrected an interesting thread for a change.
• DougS

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  18 years ago

  I forgot to mention... I have a friend that hits clubs pretty frequently and when he goes clubbing, him and one of his other friends takes turns being the "celebrity". One poses as an "up and coming" hip/hop performer, while the others in the group pretend to be the posse. They've had a lot of success (both ITC and OTC) with their clever ploy. I haven't been a part of their little scams - and to be honest, I don't have the look (I'm a little "lighter complected" than my friend)
• DougS

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  18 years ago

  Like was stated, the more untruths you tell, the harder it is to keep your stories straight. It's not, for the most part, worth it. The only untruths that I tell are my current marital status and my age. (usually, I'm either going through a divorce or separated, and am 10 years younger) With that said, during my current endeavers I have been much more truthful, and have not told a single lie... but have purposely omitted a detail or two.
• RomanticLover

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  18 years ago

  Did a stripper ever tell you she REALLY LIKES YOU while REFUSING to spend time with you OUTSIDE THE CLUB for FREE?
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  What's stopping you from trying that on this board?
• WetWilly

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  18 years ago

  No doubt the biggest line I use in a strip club is: I just got here and want to look around for a while before I do any dances.... That is just my way of saying " I know someone better looking is probably going to show up if I spend too much time with a pig like you, so go away!".