Rockstar weekend!!
LNM
What's up jealous haters? Weekend update time from South Beach's coolest, richest, Mcdonalds owning, drug addicted, can't find a non-pro, badass LMN!!!
So everyone weekend I hit the party scene, get plastered on more drugs than any human could ever handle and then pay some (hopefully) woman to do stuff to my penis/asshole.
But sometimes that shit gets boring. This weekend I'm going to save myself a lot of time, money, the smell of semen and feces in my leased Porsche/02' Mazda and just take it easy.
So I got porn on the big screen, enough heroin and coke to knock out my entire staff of Guatemalans, a belt airtight around my neck and I've hit myself in the nuts with a rolling pin until they can't feel anything (plus Mom promised not to come in my room unless she smells something). A whole weekend of drugs, choking myself and reminding me how fucking awesome I am.
You losers wish your life was as cool as mine!
So everyone weekend I hit the party scene, get plastered on more drugs than any human could ever handle and then pay some (hopefully) woman to do stuff to my penis/asshole.
But sometimes that shit gets boring. This weekend I'm going to save myself a lot of time, money, the smell of semen and feces in my leased Porsche/02' Mazda and just take it easy.
So I got porn on the big screen, enough heroin and coke to knock out my entire staff of Guatemalans, a belt airtight around my neck and I've hit myself in the nuts with a rolling pin until they can't feel anything (plus Mom promised not to come in my room unless she smells something). A whole weekend of drugs, choking myself and reminding me how fucking awesome I am.
You losers wish your life was as cool as mine!
7 comments
I first got laid 51 years ago. I still enjoy having sex with women. Is it not enough for you? Do you really need all the other paraphernalia or isn't the attention, touch, and intimacy of a beautiful woman sufficient? Enquiring minds want to know.
But rather than beating yourself in the nads with a rolling pin, you should try a taser. Think 'bout something that turns you on, like lookin' down the cleavage of your friend's mom, get lil' LNM standin' at attention, shout "DON'T TASE ME BRO!!!", and let him have it.
You'll be numb down there all weekend!
Have fun dude!
I wonder if the real faggot that types this shit reads your mockery and discovers what a fucking took box he sounds like?