tuscl

Relationships with a dancer.

Monday, June 16, 2014 6:23 AM
Anybody out there have a successful relationship with a dancer? I've been with one now for about a year and a half. Lived together for about 6 months. She quit dancing shortly after our relationship got serious. Can it last?

64 comments

  • Clubber
    •
    10 years ago
    Of course it can. However, based on my knowledge, I would say it is not likely. Seems in this day and age most relationships do not last, no matter the history if the couple. From 2011 Marriage rate: 6.8 per 1,000 total population Divorce rate: 3.6 per 1,000 population (44 reporting States and D.C.)
  • rockstar666
    •
    10 years ago
    Maybe, because she quit dancing. Dancers are flakes as a rule, but ex-dancers may be more reliable.
  • dallas702
    •
    10 years ago
    As a dancer she learned to take money from men, but it is unlikely she learned how to manage money. As a dancer she worked in a sexually charged atmosphere, moving from man to man - and she did this day after day. As a dancer she worked pretty much without schedules or constraints. She spent - however long she danced - most of her time "misbehaving" without consequences. That is a lot of habit to break. Most ex-dancers have a very hard time dealing with relationships and jobs after leaving the clubs. Some transition into the "real" world without a problem. Every woman is different. Anytime you attempt to be in a relationship with another human being you take a chance.
  • Subraman
    •
    10 years ago
    Let me give you a bit of hope first. I became good friends with a dancer, and we kept in touch and hung out for years after she quit dancing. I introduced her to many of the guys in my social circle, and she fit right in, no one could tell she was a dancer before. I was never physically attracted to her, and had never gotten a dance from her in the club, which may be why she didn't drop me like she dropped all her stripper friends and former customers after she retired. In any case, long story short ... her current status is: happily married, with children, she went back to school and got a degree and now teaches elementary school (yes! Forum letter quality story, but completely true!) I have no idea what baggage her husband might be dealing with behind the scenes, since she definitely had some, but right now no one would ever guess she used to be a stripper, she moves with grace through upper middle class social circles, etc. That said, of the dancers I've become fuckbuddies or dated, the rule seems to be that the poor decision-making, low self esteem, self-medicating (through drugs, insanely hard partying, infidelity, etc), tragic childhood, and other issues that can often be a factor in deciding to be a stripper in the first place, don't just disappear afterwards. Unfortunately, that's a lot to get past, so you have challenging times ahead. But, it's not impossible that she gets back to a "civilian" trajectory, as the woman I described above did.
  • Dolfan
    •
    10 years ago
    For what its worth, in my experience no relationships last. Stripper or not doesn't seem to matter. Not trying to say it wont last, more trying to say don't too hung up on the "ex stripper" part of it. It shouldn't be that big of component in the relationship, IMO anyway.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Strippers generally seem to turn into normal people about 1-2 years after quitting for good.
  • shailynn
    •
    10 years ago
    Dallas702 had some excellent points, it seems more often than not, when you start learning about a strippers personal life at least 1 of the issues dallas702 mentioned is present, and all those issues are pretty alarming even if it's just 1. I dated a stripper casually for almost 2 years. Note the word "casually" because I knew there were issues since day one. She was the type incapable of being responsible enough to hold a serious relationship. I hope your case proves these statements wrong. I often meet strippers who seem to have their head on straight and act together. I know many times they just talk a good game set up just to impress PL, but there's got to be several out there that can back up their statements on their goals, quality of life and aspirations.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    "Anybody out there have a successful relationship with a dancer?" Yes, I have one good relationship going right now. It is just like any normal relationship that I and you see, normal couple going out to eat, buy stuff from Walmart, go to the mall, one day roadtrips, etc. However, there are habits she learned from the Club that are really a huge turn-off, for example, the idea sex-for-money which is probably the one that is preventing me from moving forward with this relationship. It is her only way expressing she wants financial support for having this relationship, she can't express her feelings beyond that idea. She wants to escalate to living together, and she will bring her child along so it is like an instant family right away. Just thinking about it makes me want to run away, soooo I am not going to engage her in that conversation. She wants to have a stronger relationship wherein she would know where I am, what am I doing, when I will be at certain place doing what. That to me sounds like prison, so I have backed out of the conversation and would always change the topic once the convo moving that way. With just only that, I think this relationship is just perfect where it is, my sweet spot. She will eventually move on because her priorities like putting a better home for her child is higher than what we have right now. This situation is not her sweet spot. With what I just wrote, my sentiment seem to say qualify the person if she has qualities that can sustain a relationship long enough to have a good life. In my case, there is no benefit for me to escalate my relationship to the next level, it is just perfect right now. "Can it last?" Yes, it can last. Any relationship has the chance of lasting long enough to be considered blissfully happy. The fact she quit dancing for a valid reason is a good indicator of her wanting to have a good life. The ball is now on your court, sure it will be a bumpy ride because of the life she had back when she was still working in the SC. They are going to be on your shoulders. In my case, I am not going to make another step forward. I am not going to let her move in and live with her in my apartment. More time is what I need, to know her better in order to make the right decision. I met her on March 2014 and to me that's not really long enough. But you on the other hand, have gone much farther, accepting the challenges ahead. So yeah, since you are living in one roof now, just give it a fair chance and all the good and bad habits of her will eventually show up. That's up to you if these bad habits are worth taking.
  • TortillaChip
    •
    10 years ago
    She gave up stripping for you but you still go to strip clubs. No, your relationship isn't going to last.
  • toysales
    •
    10 years ago
    We go to strip clubs together. And my behavior in the clubs is quite different now.
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    No, they're all crazy.
  • CaraDevine
    •
    10 years ago
    I am a professional entertainer in the Columbus, Ohio area. When asking a question about whether or not a serious, committed relationship can prosper if the female partner is actively involved in this industry, one must consider a few factors - 1) If given the choice, would your girl choose you over her job as an entertainer? (And the TRUE answer to the question is the most telling). 2) Outside of dancing, does she have other skill sets contributing to her worth in a professional setting? 3) What are her reasons for being involved as a professional adult entertainer? 4) Were there pre-existing trust issues either prior to her beginning her work as an entertainer OR have trust issues developed since she became an entertainer? And if so, why? 5) Has she invited you to see her perform at the club? Has she refused to allow you to see her at the club? Or do you refuse to see her perform at the club? 6) Are you genuinely proud of your girl and does she feel the same way about you. Let's face it guys, being an entertainer in a gentlemen's club, a dancer in a bikini bar, or a "stripper" in topless show bar are all just jobs. And those jobs come with a title and a stigma. Although society deems these jobs as demeaning to women and the social norms controlled by politics and organized religion would tend to make many believe that the path that these girls have chosen is both unacceptable and inappropriate, the people in this business generally CHOOSE to be there (both entertainers and clients). And when a female conducts this career path like one would operate a business, the work can not only be profitable, but extremely rewarding both in terms of empowerment and self-esteem. I'm a college-educated female who has been in a committed relationship for over a year already. My man understands what I do, and exactly what happens at my club. He has visited me there several times, and says that because he's a confident man, not just personally but in our relationship, he not only accepts what I do, but commends me for taking this time in my life to share with others my beauty and take a very real interest in each client, and also my ability to entertain each customer at the highest standard. I do not break the law, bend the rules, or allow for any inappropriate activity. I take pride in myself as a beautiful woman and do not put myself in situations where my personal well-being or that of my relationship to the man that I love may be compromised. Dating an entertainer in the industry is definitely not for the faint of heart. As much as it may take a certain air of confidence for a female to get on that stage, it takes a man involved with her to have the same amount of confidence in both himself and her, as well as a clear understanding of their relationship. Although the media has continued to convince society that the bulk of the industry is riddled with drug-addicted, alcoholic, uneducated, abused, and inept ladies, I can say that my time as a performer hasn't necessarily exposed me to those types of people. I work with beautiful and talented ladies from all walks of life. I will not deny that they exist, but can also say that of the females that I've seen who are involved in unscrupulous or illicit activity, almost all had those tendencies or experiences prior to stepping through the club's doors. So as a man who loves your woman, you should take a real interest in her choice of working in this field, to help to ensure her safety and security, and provide yourself a bit of piece of mind. Sit down and DO SOME RESEARCH with her. Decide what you feel is accurate and what information is being provided based on dated or obsolete facts and inaccurate opinions. And TALK. If the two of you are honest with one another, have a genuine devotion towards your relationship, and understand the meaning of being a partner in a mature and loving relationship, her choosing to be an entertainer should be no more detrimental to your relationship than your choice to be a police officer, a garbage man, an office executive, or even a stay at home father. The bottom line - It's about truly knowing one another.
  • Club_Goer_Seattle
    •
    10 years ago
    @ Cara: Very good points. You write extremely well. I hope we'll see more of you!
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    I'm not interested in instant family so I guess that rules me out for any long term stripper relationships. I could be surprised but I doubt it.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    Since I'm not in my twenties anymore, I doubt a young dancer without kids is going to want to hook up in a relationship with me. However I am still seeing young waitresses flirting a bit. Some of them are much hotter than the dancers.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    "Has she invited you to see her perform at the club? Has she refused to allow you to see her at the club?" What if the answer to them is no? What does it mean?
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    Dang it, I mean... Has she invited you to see her perform at the club? No Has she refused to allow you to see her at the club? Yes What does that mean?
  • CaraDevine
    •
    10 years ago
    alabegonz - What would any good woman have to hide from her man, whether it be personally or in her career, if what she is doing as an entertainer is purely above board? If the male partner has placed his trust in this young lady, and it is understood that the way she described her job is exactly what it is, then there is no reason that her man shouldn't feel that he can't walk through the doors of that club. Just like any other relationship, this one should be based on not just love, but mutual honesty and trust. I have left my man and open invitation to see me at the club anytime he pleases. He has stated to me on numerous occasions that he is not only happy that I have chosen to work in a job in which I find so much enjoyment, but that he respects me for my confidence and my ability to entertain each one of my clients, making their visits well worth their hard-earned money. On several occasions, he has even pulled me aside for a moment on the floor, after finishing a dance for a customer, and complemented me on doing such a great job. So basically the question is "How are these two questions related to whether or not a relationship with an entertainer can work?" How the partner of any entertainer, dancer, or stripper answers those questions, will determine whether or not they have potential issues of dishonesty or manipulation within their relationship. And as we all know, with issues like that, any relationship would be doomed, regardless of her chosen profession.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    As others have mentioned, the divorce rate has been hovering at around 50% forever. Which means you're starting out with a 50-50 chance of any successful relationship with a woman. Add to it the fact that most strippers don't respect men who go to strip clubs, which is one reason why there are so few strippers successfully dating customers. They don't. They think guys who go to strip clubs to watch strippers like them are creepy. And if they DO have a relationship with you, they think you'll just keep going to strip clubs to see girls who are prettier. No way she wants that. Then add it it the fact that most women would NEVER become strippers because there's such a negative stigma attached to it. And if they do become a stripper its a high likelihood that they've got some emotional issues/history that allows them to do something so super yucky...so she's far less likely to be the kind of woman you want to trust to a long term relationship. Or anything else. Then add to that the fact that most strippers are strippers because it's a quick way to make money without having to have any skills or work at a real job that requires self discipline. How many jobs would allow you to sit around all shift on your cellphone? Only strippers can get away with that shit. Yeah, she's probably hot. All that means is she's a fun fuck. Don't expect more than that.
  • GoVikings
    •
    10 years ago
    "Add to it the fact that most strippers don't respect men who go to strip clubs, which is one reason why there are so few strippers successfully dating customers. They don't. They think guys who go to strip clubs to watch strippers like them are creepy" Yeah, this is probably very true. It would be interesting to hear a dancers perspective on this----but I don't think I'd be surprised by their answer(s)
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    I don’t get it much anymore now that I’m a bit older – but early on in my SC career when I was a bit closer to the dancers’ age; on several occasions I had dancers mention that they did/would not date a guy that went to SCs. I found it kinda odd b/c she is working in a SC but yet is too good to date a guy that visits SCs? I can kinda see their point; but if they (dancers) do not want to be prejudged for being dancers; should they be prejudging the custies as not be dating material?
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    Like I said, when you're in the club with her she sees a guy who goes to a club to oogle OTHER girls. Pretty girls. Girls who are prettier than she is. Women DESPISE the thought of that. If you were her man, she KNOWS that you would sneak out on your anniversary or her birthday to oogle other women. You do it now, so you'd do it in the future. Women would rather fool themselves into thinking that men aren't really interested in other women or just sex. So they select a guy who ACTS like he loves only her, when in fact every guy on the planet thinks of sex and other women. That's how God made us. But women hate that. I suspect that 90% of all strippers will tell you they won't date customers. Ever. And yes, the hypocrisy is mind boggling. A stripper thinks that a guy who goes to see a stripper like her is creepy because he's going to see a stripper like her. But that's women for you.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    By the way, to veer slightly off the topic... Yesterday I watched a movie titled "Think Like a Man". Not the new one that just came out (#2), but the first one. Anyway, it points out how difficult relationships are between men and women. Why? Because basically we want completely different things. And to have a real relationship, both people have to forfeit some of their natural desires and "needs" in favor of the other person. And in the end, that usually ends up being the man doing most of the forfeiting. Men, for the most part, are happy just having sex with hot women. God made us that way. Sex is EXTREMELY important to men. Women, on the other hand, want long term love and security and commitment. They want A LOT from men. They choose the male based on how he can support her. Men usually don't give a shit about stuff like that. But for women it's HUGE. Men expect very little from women. Hot sex, a good meal, and we're happy. Women want money, a home, love, support, and on and on. Now of course, at some point men want to settle down and have a family. But we still don't expect much from women. Sex, a good meal once in a while, and take care of the kids. But women need you to pay the bills, fight your instinct for sex with other women, support her and the kids, give her total commitment, and on and on. So the point of the movie was that we often have to fool each other so that we get what we want, since our needs are so vastly different. Women usually don't really want sex in the way men want it, so they play games with it to get what they want. I've always felt that it's come kind of cruel joke someone is playing on us. Making men and women so different. Which is why the divorce rate has always been around 50%. Few people are willing or able to meet the other person half way, especially for the long term.
  • TroIl_Defense_HQ
    •
    10 years ago
    jerikson40: "I've always felt that it's come kind of cruel joke someone is playing on us. Making men and women so different." Couldn't agree with you more, jerikson. Think it's time for you to finally come out and come on over to my side of the field.
  • goonster
    •
    10 years ago
    Define successful relationship please. Lasting relationship? Look at the stats. Over 50% fail within 2 years and the number goes up with time, not down. Can you have any relationship with a stripper? Yes. They are women and most of them do want to settle down at some point and have a normal life.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    CaraDevine: Ok, I get it. I thought there was something in that question that would require a round of debate. Sounds ok to me.
  • deogol
    •
    10 years ago
    "They are women and most of them do want to settle down at some point and have a normal life." Unfortunately at that point they really aren't desirable anymore. Oh, wait, perhaps THAT is why their "ready" to "settle down."
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    "Lasting relationship? Look at the stats. Over 50% fail within 2 years and the number goes up with time, not down." This got me thinking. Then it hit me. You only need to be on the success side to be in it. Sooo. Play it well and if the execution is done right let's shake hands on that one, coz you made it.
  • ujay
    •
    10 years ago
    I know of a stripper who I heard from other strippers that she is planning on getting married in three months. She is still dancing to "pay for the wedding". She is pretty as hell and largely gives HJ. A week ago, I was extremely lucky. She had made only six dollars all day, and I walked in the club with pockets full of money. We had a sensual lapdance and I proposed sex in the VIP. She initially refused, but came back a few minutes later, and informed me that she can not go home after working all day with only six dollars. Well, we had great sex 90 days from her wedding. She did not allow me to kiss her because "that would be too personal". Stripper logic! How can such a person be trusted in the hurdles of life with its ups and downs. She will always escape out the back door, whether to the club or with her employers. I can not place my life in the hands of a stripper with her roller coaster of a life. I believe that when a lady takes off her clothing and exposes her vagina to strangers, she has crossed the path of no return. She has tasted the golden apple and will return from time to time to bite at the apple. She, however, appears to be a good mother and leaves the club faithfully at 5pm each day to pick up her son from daycare, even if the club is full of customers.
  • lopaw
    •
    10 years ago
    I've had several successful SM/SB relationships as well as FWB situations over the past few years. The only reason they didn't last was because I'm married so they can only go so far. But I believe that they can last. Takes a strong man or woman to come to terms with and accept a stripper's lifestyle and all of the drama and contact that goes with it.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    "Takes a strong man or woman to come to terms with and accept a stripper's lifestyle and all of the drama and contact that goes with it." Right....."strong"...... Or maybe stupid.
  • Henry_R1234
    •
    10 years ago
    Lopaw - what is SM/SB mean?
  • steve229
    •
    10 years ago
    "Takes a strong (strong) man" @lopaw - are you rick rolling us?
  • DoctorPhil
    •
    10 years ago
    @sclvr5005 “Lopaw - what is SM/SB mean?” sugar mama/sugar baby
  • steve229
    •
    10 years ago
    "what is (sic) SM/SB mean?" Sugar Mommy/Sugar Baby Try and keep up, Hank
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    I'm still trying to grasp the whole lopaw situation.... She's a girl, right? And she's married? To a guy, right? But she's a lesbian, and she goes to strip clubs to be with other women. Wow. That's one I've never heard before. And I can't ever recall seeing a single woman customer at any of the strip clubs I've been to over the years. And what's FWB? If it's anything like SM/SB, it makes me want to hurl.
  • steve229
    •
    10 years ago
    And she's married? To a guy, right? Wrong!
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    jerkoffson: "I'm still trying to grasp the whole lopaw situation...." Too complex for your puny little brain? It's not that hard.
  • lopaw
    •
    10 years ago
    @steve229- not sure I'm following you on that one. @Henry_R1234- enter into sugar-dom at your own risk!
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    Really? She's married to a girl? But I didn't think that's legal. Hell, I don't know. Whatever.
  • lopaw
    •
    10 years ago
    @jerikson-after seeing Dougster's post I took you off ignore long enough to respond to your confusion. I am married to a woman, not a man. Yes I visit stripclubs. Alone by choice. I hope that clearsbit up for you. FWB is "friends with benefits". Not sure what part of that makes you want to hurl. But being the misogynistic homophobe that you appear to be it doesnt surprise me. Either way I dont give a shit.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    I was just curious. I never said anything against you, just trying to understand. What makes me want to hurl is the concept of ANYONE paying strippers on a regular basis to like you. Paying their rent, whatever. I think it's indicative of someone with no self respect whatsoever. But that's only my opinion, and in the United States we are all allowed opinions. Now regarding being a homophobe. No, I am not a homophobe. A phobia is a fear, and in no way am I fearful of homosexuality. On the other hand, I do think that the practice is basically wrong, and is a sexual perversion along the same lines as pedophilia or having sex with animals. Kind of like humanity has believed for our entire history. Until lately, apparently, when we became convinced that it is suddenly okay.
  • DoctorPhil
    •
    10 years ago
    “after seeing Dougster's post I took you off ignore” but how can that be? you’ve stated many, many, many, many times that you keep @Dougster on ignore. come on admit it. you read everything @Dougster posts. it is as transparent as your homophobe pet @sickliver5005 creating his very own @Henry_R1234 character just to have someone agree with him.
  • lopaw
    •
    10 years ago
    ^^"How can that be" Dougster and I declared a truce a while back that we both continue to honor, not that its any business of yours. So why should I ignore him? And as far as my friend sclvr he has better things to do than create fake aliases and troll the way you do. @jerikson- gotcha. To each their own opinion.
  • tumblingdice
    •
    10 years ago
    @jerryskid40,sometimes less is more.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    Hey, I just looked up "misogynistic"... Hatred of women? Really? Uh, no... What I hate is anyone, male or female, who is self centered, childish, hypocritical, or whatever bad stuff you can think of. And after many years, I've developed a fair understanding of people and how they operate. And unfortunately I've come to the realization that most people in this world are, at their core, totally childish and self centered, in spite of the noble and honorable front they project to others. Women are like that, and men are like that. We are all, at our core, responding to our most self centered and childish desires. As far as hating women just for the hell of it? Um, no. My entire life has been marked by consistent love and support and commitment to the women in my life. I'm not the guy who leaves the wife and kids to fend for themselves, I'm the guy who spends my life loving and supporting them. So don't throw around nonsense attacks and hyperbole when you don't know what you're talking about. Although, that's what people do when they feel attacked. They start throwing mud, like little children in the playground.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    jerkoffson: "What I hate is anyone, male or female, who is self centered, childish, hypocritical, or whatever bad stuff you can think of." Lots of good descriptions of yourself there, jerkoffson!
  • Henry_R1234
    •
    10 years ago
    Thanks for the info everybody. I think that sugar babies would be way out of my budget!
  • joker44
    •
    10 years ago
    From Wikipedia: "Misogyny /mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/ is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women.[1][2] Misogyny has been characterised as a prominent feature of the mythologies of the ancient world as well as of various religions. In addition, many influential Western philosophers have been described as misogynistic.[1] The counterpart of misogyny is misandry, the hatred or dislike of men; the antonym of misogyny is philogyny, the love or fondness of women."
  • joker44
    •
    10 years ago
    hyp·o·crite [hip-uh-krit] Show IPA noun 1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. 2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Thanks, joker. We weren't able to look up those definitions on our own.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    "I believe that when a lady takes off her clothing and exposes her vagina to strangers, she has crossed the path of no return. She has tasted the golden apple and will return from time to time to bite at the apple." I was with my CF last night driving her to work. While we were waiting for the green light, I was staring at her and I had this moment of White Knight which is like "Damn babe why are you doing this?" role playing inside my head. I could see the internal struggle working its way to actually acting it out on her. And yet, she just sat there looking in front while she is getting ready to work. Like what we have right that moment was a strong relationship we could hold onto. Like, forever. But it is not, she is not the kind of girl I wish to end up with. She is just my way to my destination, a waypoint, some sort of transition while I go look for my dream girl. She is very attractive that's for sure, I wish I could find a decent girl like her, but right now she's the only one who can do the job.
  • steve229
    •
    10 years ago
    @lopaw [view link]
  • joker44
    •
    10 years ago
    @jeri "But that's only my opinion, and in the United States we are all allowed opinions." Yes, you are free to express your opinions without prior restraint; you are not guaranteed protection from the consequences to you after stating them.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    " I can not place my life in the hands of a stripper with her roller coaster of a life." How can you say that? You haven't yet given her time to figure out, like see how she actually is without makeup on. Would you still like her without the makeup on? I bet you would run away. But you know what, you are F'n right. I've been saying those words inside my head too. It's some sort of mental anguish or a struggle to come to terms with the reality of her exposing her pussy to a patron and at some point willing to spread her legs out for a couple of hundred dollars. Add on top of that, the train wreck she's in right now is way too unacceptable. But she's working on it, trying to minimize and not to create more shit which she is in already. It's come to a point where it is toxic. Man, that's hard to take. To me, that's probably what a dude will go through when a dancer decides to stick with a PL.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    "Yes, you are free to express your opinions without prior restraint; you are not guaranteed protection from the consequences to you after stating them." Absolutely true. But at the same time, it is also quite reasonable to expect and even encourage others to respond like adults, with rationality and due consideration of the facts, and not just childish emotional jabs. Don't you think? Oh, wait, this is the TUSCL forum. My mistake.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    "Would you still like her without the makeup on?" AHA !!! And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the root of the matter. Be honest, if your ATF was ugly would you even give a shit about her? Would you even think of this sugar daddy BS? Of course not. None of this white knight shit, you'd kick her to the curb. The bottom line is that we men are so desperate for hot sex with super hot women that we will do virtually anything for it. And we'll put up this honorable and noble front, when in fact all we really care about is that she's hot. Visit her sometime when she has no makeup, and no sexy outfit, and she's got a screaming baby in the other room, and she's smoking crack and asking you for money for her habit or whatever, and then decide if she's worth it.
  • joker44
    •
    10 years ago
    @jeri,lol. "Absolutely true. But at the same time, it is also quite reasonable to expect and even encourage others to respond like adults, with rationality and due consideration of the facts, and not just childish emotional jabs. Don't you think?" Why don't you be the first to model it for the rest of us,oh dyspeptic one,:-D
  • DoctorPhil
    •
    10 years ago
    @lopaw. so you’re not ignoring me then? hmmmm, then i have a question about the man-hating lesbian subculture that you may be abble to me with. @sclvr5005 obviously has a deep seated fear that the feelings he is having means that he is “turning” into a homosexual and that they won’t be able to “fix” it. classic homophobia. for reference regarding @sclvr5005’s understanding of homosexuality: [view link] sclvr5005 “Is that what made you turn gay too?” [view link] sclvr5005 “Hey you'd best get into therapy asap to address your latent homosexual issues. They won't fix themselves” professionally i’m curious about why you keep a homophobe as a pet. is it some lesbian version of a hollyweird Paris Hilton/ Chihuahua fashion accessory? or perhaps like a guy who buys a puppy to take to the park to meet girls, you put sclvr5005’s choke collar on and take him down to the construction site hoping to meet the lesbians who will all come up wanting to kick him in the balls? thanks in advance for your insights.
  • lopaw
    •
    10 years ago
    Sorry DrPhil but I am not a member of that "man-hating lesbian subculture" that you refer to. And your obsession with sclvr5005 and his comments begs many many questions about your own apparently deep seated issues that you must be struggling with. Have you always been obsessive? Towards just men? Or women too? Please share!
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    "Just like any other relationship, this one should be based on not just love, but mutual honesty and trust." I dunno about what you are saying here as much as I would like to nod my head and agree, but dang that would close to saying I am idiot for taking it as is. Lesson learned, my CF though we blend perfectly well and I do like her so much to the point I would marry her in a heartbeat. Who am I fooling here? Well the f'n finger is pointing at me. I tried, I tried so hard to see it the other way, but she is not the One. But she sticks around, we keep going on. It is weird, but it is what it is.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    "And we'll put up this honorable and noble front, when in fact all we really care about is that she's hot." Rescue is a way of pulling her out of the public and making her exclusive only to the rescuer. She sees the BS in the rescue, so she doesn't buy it. Stupid move PLs make.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    [view link] Make sure she passes the no-makeup-test before you commit. You've be in a big surprise if you do not get this assignment done.
  • DoctorPhil
    •
    10 years ago
    @lopaw. so by not answering are you trying to say your motivations regarding sclvr5005/Henry_R1234 are altruistic and you are just too modest to take credit? that's it isn't it? you want to pay it forward so to speak helping sclr5005/Henry_R1234 on his journey out of the closet. i think that’s great because the tough love approach – “you’re a faggot, you’ve always been a faggot, you’ll never be anything but a faggot, so deal with it” – would be too much for a homophobe as tightly wound up denying his own homosexuality like sclvr5005/Henry_R1234. i’d like to suggest that you look around for a guy that even if you have to squint real hard can pass for a straight male. i know, i know - you live in L.A. but i’m sure you can find someone. introduce him to sclvr5005/Henry_R1234 and then maybe send them together (as buddies of course) to a cake decorating class. i’ll bet they are watching Carol Channing musicals and having naked pillow fights in no time at all. OTOH if you are intending to keep sclr5005/Henry_R1234 for yourself and the two of you are planning a gender reassignment surgery for him then i have to advise against it. but if you are dead set on going ahead at least go to Belgium for the surgery so if you don’t like the results you have a humane recourse: [view link]
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion