tuscl

Feel depressed leaving ATF

Tuesday, May 20, 2014 2:28 PM
One year ago, I met my ATF, and since then had a bumpy journey. There were peaks and troughs, but I kept coming back to her. Recently I realized both of us are moving out of the city very soon, and I managed to see her more often. But the sooner near my departure, the more depressed I feel. I went to see her last night but couldn't really have a good time because of the sadness. I could see her one last time before I move, but probably won't. Her final song with me? Just a dream by Nelly. So funny because he is from St. Louis, and it is a East St. Louis club. I took it as a sign to stop. Perhaps leaving the whole club scene indefinitely. I will be very busy at the new place anyway. But more importantly, just not in the mood until I get over with it. Anyone have similar experience? In the past my favorites just disappeared or I lost interest. For those who disappeared, I miss them but not as much, and it didn't stop me from looking for the next favorite.

26 comments

  • Subraman
    •
    10 years ago
    I once got pretty bummed after an ATF had left. I took it as a sign that I'd gotten involved with her emotionally in a VERY unhealthy way. I've taken care not to repeat in all the years since.
  • shadowcat
    •
    10 years ago
    It happens. It's best to just get back on the horse asap.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    10 years ago
    "Anyone have similar experience?" Yes. It's getting better.
  • LMN
    •
    10 years ago
    Sounds like you got played by a sex worker.
  • tumblingdice
    •
    10 years ago
    I once had to put my yellow lab down with a shot to the temple,I've never been the same since.
  • steve229
    •
    10 years ago
    I ain't missing you at all since you've been gone away I ain't missing you, no matter what my friends say
  • gawker
    •
    10 years ago
    I sometimes wonder how some of the contributors here seem to have a new ATF every month. My ATF is my ATF because she rocks my boat like no other. She drives me crazy sometimes, she plays me sometimes, she bleeds every last penny out of my wallet, BUT, she makes me feel good about myself; she knows how to please me sexually because she understands my quirks and my foibles. I'm far from a perfect specimen and I don't judge others unnecessarily. So SageVincent, I sympathize with your loss. I need my ATF's prescence in order to keep my sanity sometimes. Other times I walk away from her fed up with her flakey behavior, unreliability, etc. but , perhaps because we let them, they become so much more than a sex object. Hang in there.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    I probably get less attached and then I forget quickly. It seems like I'm often the one who wants less contact with a particular dancer. Although I believe dancers can have strong feelings too. My memory is jumbled but I do remember one favorite who cried and said she was in love with me when I told her I was moving and said goodbye. I wasn't expecting that. I did not know if she was telling the truth or not but I never had any other dancers do that.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    When she went blackout my days were a bit just a tad smeared. And she showed up again saying she has forgiven me.
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    It's not unusual to grow attached and to develop an emotional connection to a stripper. For many men, an emotional connection is needed and often times is necessary or more important than the physical connection.
  • Clubber
    •
    10 years ago
    Years ago, but we still have very limited contact. What bothers me the most is that I brought about the split.
  • SlickSpic
    •
    10 years ago
    @Clubber-I understand your feelings. I blame myself for a couple of civie gals I screwed up with. It sucks when you know it's your fault.
  • jester2I4
    •
    10 years ago
    Depressed? Like me? The jestie-girl. I should give you my doctor's number. He could probably hook you up with some good SSRIs or something. Would probably really help you out. Not that I would know since I refuse to take my own, but hopefully you would do better. Fuckin' fuck everything!
  • Clackport
    •
    10 years ago
    I agree with slick
  • stenton1
    •
    10 years ago
    I think that situation has caught many of us at some point in the past. Just keep clubbing, and rotate around, there's always a new improved version around the corner. Just leave your heart at home, never bring it to a strip club! "We don't love them hoes!" -Snoop Dogg Very true!
  • mjx01
    •
    10 years ago
    You are disposable to her. Deal.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    Never had the problem – can’t see myself getting attached to someone whom is w/ me first and mostly b/c she is getting paid. But maybe I haven’t met that special ho :)
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    Latest/Last post from the SW thread named “Letters you wish you could send to customers (vent away)” – and vent she did – maybe the OP won’t feel as sad after reading this :): “Dear regular who thinks they are my man, You need to see this relationship for what it really is. Sure, I act sweet, interested, and like I actually like you. I don't. I hate the way you are so grabby with me every chance you get. I hate the way you try to grab my face in an attempt to mouth kiss me. I hate the way you act like you are giving me a massage and try and reach down and touch my pussy. And I despise the way you think everything and all human relationships in life revolve around sex. They dont. It grosses me out how your hands shake all excitedly when you try to touch me. Ugh. But the worst thing is when you act like you own me. After our time is up and I am paid, I move on to the next customer. I don't need you "investigating" who else I dance for and do VIPs with. You don't need to compare yourself physically or professionally against ANY other guy. There's one reason I deal with ANY of you. Because you pay me. You aren't my boyfriend or my husband. You have NO say in ANY of my relationships. In or outside of the club. You are guaranteed money to me, and that is all.” [view link]
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    Another dime piece from the same thread: "Dear customer who used to pay me but doesn't anymore, Stop fucking wasting my time by texting and asking how I am. You don't give me money anymore, so I no longer give a fuck when your wife is mean to you. I am not taking the five minutes to fill you in on my break up and rest of my personal life, because there is NO MONEY. Figure it out, fuckwit. Sorry I actually convinced you I cared about your personal bullshit because I am good at my job. I only care for money. Take a hint. I have paying customers to pretend to like."
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Oh my! She is so cold!
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    10 years ago
    Stone Cold Steve Austin style
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    ^^^ lol!
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    Talk about some shit from a stripper with a bad hair day.
  • sagevincent
    •
    10 years ago
    @Papi_Chulo-Ouch! That hurts. Having seen that, I am not sure I would feel better or more depressed, knowing that everything was likely all acting for money. What I found really works for me is to write down all my feelings. In my case, it was actually a poem. I went to see her tonight for one last time and read the poem to her, did our final dances, and leave. I call it the closure. She is still special to me, it's just that I am calm now and accept things as they are. Thank you guys. Your support means a lot to me.
  • jackslash
    •
    10 years ago
    She can take the dark out of the night time And paint the day time black
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    10 years ago
    @sagevincent: "Having seen that, I am not sure I would feel better or more depressed, knowing that everything was likely all acting for money." It's not really any easier when it *isn't* all about money. Harder, in some ways. At least you can look at it and recognize that it was only one way in the first place, so there wasn't really anything there. It's harder when there *is* something going both ways. "She is still special to me, it's just that I am calm now and accept things as they are." Good way to look at it.
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