Help needed for confused newby

avatar for Ian1968
Ian1968
USA Born and Bred
Just thought I'd put this out there, in the hope that some of the more experienced members can give their thoughts on my situation, as I'm somewhat of a Newbie.

Me - 40+, married, kids etc in the UK. Have had the occasional massage etc, couple of escorts a long time ago, certainly not a regular punter. Never been to a topless club, only to a couple of 'strip pubs' in the UK, again a long time ago.

So...

I've been in the states for the last couple of weeks, and ended up in a topless club on the West Coast. Was there at opening, so the club was totally empty, but after about 5 minutes, the girls started arriving downstairs. First one in took my eye straight away. Older than the others (early 30s), just my look and type, and all american. She sat with me, we chatted and had some drinks, took her for a private room dance. She stuck by the club rules totally, apart from one thing that blew me away. By the end of the 15 mins, we were kissing passionately. She seemed surprised too, and said they weren't supposed to, but she was attracted to me, so what the hell.

We spent more time together, and eventually went to the more private area upstairs. She relaxed some of the rules, and we spent 30mins+ in what can only be described as passion. We came down, she noticed a regular who wanted some dances, so I said my goodbyes and left.

Evening over, got her 'professional' number and Facebook. We'd spent going on 6 hours together, and of this, I'd say 4 hours was sat chatting and talking. Messaged her when I got back to my hotel, as I was my last night, and said thanks, and that if she fancied a coffee next day before I left for the airport that would be cool, else we would keep in touch. Thought no more of it.

Next day, message reply saying coffee would be great. Had coffee, kissed just as passionately, and some groping (how we didn't get thrown out I will never know....). Says she is attracted to me. We discussed me coming back and seeing her - going to the beach for a few days etc, or her coming to the UK to see me. I left for the airport.

I'm now home, and wondering what the hell I've experienced. I can't get her out of my head, although there's no way I'd change anything at home to be with her. I want to see her again, but I'm suspicious. I only know her 'stage name'.

SO, regulars, help me.

o Does the above suggest that she actually has feelings for me, and will meet up again ? Was her behaviour normal in your experiences?
o Am I just being suckered in to go back, and spend a fortune on her (in and out of the club) ?
o Any suggestions on how I play next ? I'm happy at keeping in touch, and perhaps going back and seeing her - goes without saying, I like her (infatuation ? lust ?) on so many levels. The driving force isn't btw that I may get to fck her.

Thanks - from a too honest, too nice guy.

19 comments

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avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
11 years ago
I'm probably the worst person to answer this, but here goes.

It might be any if those. I don't think you have enough information to be sure. If I had to guess, though, I'd say it's at least partially because you're British. :) She could be into you just for the novelty, and if you're typical of the British businessmen I've met in the states, you are probably much more polite than her regulars.

Anything she wants to do that doesn't cost you money is probably a good sign she's just into you. As soon as she starts asking you to pay a bill or send her some money, beware.

If she wants money, but is willing to provide value, however you define that, that's probably OK too.

Bottom line, have fun with it as long as it doesn't violate your boundaries, financial and otherwise. As soon as it looks like a train wreck, it will be.
avatar for Ian1968
Ian1968
11 years ago
Thanks Georg. We have a saying in the UK - if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck. So I agree that if it starts looking suspicious, it probably will be. It will be interesting to see how this pans out - I'll keep updated on here. Would be interested in any other's thoughts though.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
11 years ago
Missed this the first time, but if you spent 6 hours with her in the club, chances are you spent a significant chunk of change on her. The current exchange rate, about 1.70 USD to 1 Pound Sterling, suggests that it might not seem that way to *you*, but could seem that way to her.

Doesn't really change anything I said before, but might explain some of her interest, if suave, sophisticated British traveler isn't enough. :)

I reiterate that because I can't tell you how many times I've heard American girls exclaim about how sexy a British accent is. Don't underestimate its potential affect on unworldly American girls. :)
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
11 years ago
We have the same saying about ducks. We also have another "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is".

Unless you are going to be a very frequent visitor over here, you are probably being concerned about nothing.
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
11 years ago
Facts:
1) You got the digits, she has it too ==> plus 1.
2) She went out to meet for coffee with kiss and grope ==> plus 1.
3) She is attracted to you ==> plus 1.

To me, here is what it looks like:
1) You could have taken her to bed after the coffee scene.
2) She may be available for more sexual adventures.
3) Possibility of her becoming a mistress.
4) What else, hmmmm

Anyway, it is hard to tell exactly what is the deal with your girl, simply because you don't have enough time to know her and hence arrive at a conclusion. That goes the same with me and my relationship with my stripper who I am seeing OTC for 8 weeks now. I still have little information about her entire life and probably will know more as we move forward. So far, she is OK in a sense that I don't see any reason for bailing out.

Also, from observations I made about my girl, she starts to worry when her funds are running low, she somehow begins to have this behavior of going for the hustle. So, watch out for that as your girl might pounce you with a hustle.

How you play? Not sure because you are in the UK. Your situation is not the same as mine. I see her often like every other day. I don't go to her workplace anymore which is good because (1) Money not paid to dances is money saved, (2)I may get dances from other dancers which can be a source of trouble. You can ask her to visit you, which means downtime for her. Let her know about it as she may see that as vacation/tour in the UK. You can visit her to finally consummate the relationship. And at the end of it take her up the mountain to perform a ceremonial ring to it. Talk about impressing your girl.
avatar for Ian1968
Ian1968
11 years ago
Thanks for the comments folks. As you suggest, this would be easier if I was not 6000 miles away. Her coming over is the easiest for me, although also thought of meeting halfway (east coast).

What I am interested in is the kissing thing. Took me by surprise. It's that that's leading me to think that she is attracted to me, well, that and meeting OTC so quick. I guess only time will tell.
avatar for steve229
steve229
11 years ago
Two words for you: Downtown Abbey

Georg nailed it on the accent.

http://yougov.co.uk/news/2014/01/18/its-…

avatar for Ian1968
Ian1968
11 years ago
I must say a good % of our conversation was about accents and language. You are probably both onto something there. Pity it took me all these years to find that out.......
avatar for Fanky
Fanky
11 years ago
Your thinking to hard
avatar for Ian1968
Ian1968
11 years ago
Yup, Fanky I know. I was hoping someone would say that ! I think I'm just going to go with it and see where it leads.
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
11 years ago
Hahahahaha....AHhahahahah
avatar for Fanky
Fanky
11 years ago
Your welcome. I try to shoot from my hips
avatar for lj11111
lj11111
11 years ago
Just a quick thought from a fellow Brit now living in the US. Be discreet, have fun... But before each and every step just remember what you have to lose as well. The boring wife, kids, daily grind etc... There's a lot that you would miss and it's easy to forget when in the arms of a sexy younger woman.

That's all, not trying to be holier than thou, and certainly see possibility for some fun experiences here, just remember to think a little bit too! :)
avatar for Ian1968
Ian1968
11 years ago
I will.....and I think the wife is actually younger.... or not a lot in it :o)
avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666
11 years ago
This stuff happens all the time. Remember the moments fondly and move on is my advice.

You're married and this girl is a half a planet away. Don't pull a Rick Blaine and have a brief affair consume the rest of your life. It's her job to be everyone's 'perfect g/f' and she just got caught up in the emotions with you. But it's not like a civi girl you might meet by chance.
avatar for Tiredtraveler
Tiredtraveler
11 years ago
Always remember she is a pro and she is interested in you wallet until proven otherwise.
I would simple file the memory under "had fun" and leave it at that. I likely would not contact her unless you get back to area for some other reason than to see her.
avatar for yndy
yndy
11 years ago
@Ian'68-

Thanx for sharing the WONDERFUL experience you had in our country. I enjoyed reading it.

Be careful.

P.S. How do U.K. women like American accents?
avatar for Fanky
Fanky
11 years ago
Lol
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
I hooked up with this British chick years ago. She was an anomaly for a Brit-She had straight, white teeth. She's a bit of a footie fan. I bs'd her and told her I played amateur ball in Buenos Aires. She loved tea time and tea bags.
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