Why a Dancer Disliked another Club

@Jack-That's cause your the King and Sansa is your queen. Or was. How's Margery Tyrell doing?

Don't you just love stripper shit.

It might seem silly to all of you, but every girl likes to feel as if she has a choice in who she hooks up with. I think a lot of dancers have done/will do extras, but they don't consider it prostitution if they are picky about who they give those extras to (even if "picky" just means holding out for polite guys who don't smell horrible). You can't imagine how miserable it is to feel as if you have to have sex with every repulsive, rude guy you talk to. It would be incredibly depressing. I steer clear of those clubs too and, as a result, love dancing.

Side note: I never mind when guys ask me for extras. I definitely take it as a compliment!

@Michellemarie - thanks for the dancer perspective.

FYI, I'm polite, smell nice and have soft hands...

FYI-I'm polite, smell great, and know how to roll my R's. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

It's not the guy's fault if a dancer feels compelled to give him extras if she doesn't like him. Everyone knows which clubs are "extras" clubs and women shouldn't work in them if they have a problem with it.

@jackslash - rotfl

Michelle, good input from a dancer perspective. I wouldn't have thought of it that way. I also have a question for you. Besides smelling decent and being polite, does clothing really matter to most dancers ? I strongly prefer to dress very casual to go to a club, but sometimes I wonder if that reduces my chances of extras with some girls.

If she didn't recognize you, she may have also just been sending a signal in case you were a cop or liquor control agent.

@michellemarie / @ johnsmith - so true. I had a fave one day just start talking about sex - for money and for free. Like twice she said "I decide who I have sex with." It sounded important to her that she have agency, the choice, etc.

Dancers open up and say some interesting things if you're a "good listener."

That's been my experience at clubs, too. The girl, like me, wants to be able to decide. We both have "rules."

Strippers can come up with some of the most amazing rationalizations. Anyway, a prostitute is a prostitute.

michelle

These girls do have a choice, they choose to trade sex for cash. No one's forcing them to do this, if they don't want to then they don't have to.

Also, the strip club is not the only place to make money. Furthermore everyone knows which clubs are clean and which ones are dirty, it takes literally 5 minutes of research online.

If you have sex with someone in a strip club it's because you wanted to.

Many, if not most, women see sex as far more useful as a way of getting what they want from men, as opposed to a source of pleasure directly. Part of that is culture, but it may well be also biological. Who is or isn't a prostitute is a matter of perception of others, and self-perception. It's like the difference between pick-pocketing, and selling your car on craigslist after the mechanic says it will probably be headed for the junk yard within three months.

I've always thought that it was silly to be insulted by "sex for money" offers. Some dancers don't do extras, some do. Some times the decision is based on the situation. I don't hold any of those things against anybody in this business.

To "Hard": I've been trying to think of a good comparison and I think I have one: customers demanding "extras" would be analogous to your boss walking up to you and saying "You better work over time tonight or you're fired," as opposed to "I would appreciate it if you worked over time tonight." You still have to work over time, if you want to keep your job there, but one of those approaches will make you look for a new place to work.

But no one HAS to work overtime, just like no one has to work as a stripper. So complaining about constantly being solicited for extras is moot because you can switch careers at any time for any reason.

Here's a better analogy. I like blowjobs. I think all blowjobs should cost $20. Now, I'd love to be able to pay $20 for a blowjob, but no stripper seems to be willing to do it at that price. Meanwhile, most of the other customers are willing to pay $200 for a blowjob, so when the strippers drop by to see me, that's what they will agree to do it for. So does it accomplish anything for me to be annoyed that no one will sell me a blowjob for $20? No, because that's not what the market price is and there are other ways to obtain blowjobs.

If a stripper's expectations are not in line with market supply and demand, that is not the market's fault--that's the stripper's fault. Customers request extras in strip clubs because they can. There are plenty of women willing to perform those services even if one or two aren't. So it's irrelevant to be bothered by it because it's not going to change anything; either adapt or find a new line of work.

I think much of stripper panty-bunching about being asked for extras is a tactic. If they can make guys afraid to ask for it, they don't have to compete with it. But some are genuinely worried about the club being closed/raided because extras are going on. Some hate on extras girls as whores, apparently mindless of whether they are being hypocritical.

I work in an industry where MANDATORY OT is part of life.

@Michellemarie: Excellent point about the approach. Maybe that's why I don't get any hand wringing when I ask. Well, that and I seldom just ditch a dancer I find interesting or attractive just because she won't fuck me. Mind you, I don't spend lots of money, but few of the dancers in my regular clubs fun away from me when I walk in, even though the vast majority of them know exactly what I want.