Enjoying a drink and watching the stage, a dancer sits with you who you know you won't buy a dance off of. This bugs me because I go to the same club and never buy a dance off certain girls but some still come by and try when the club is slow. I feel like I'm wasting their time during the conversation and want them to go away. Today I changed my seat away from the stage when she went to do her set and she got the hint.
What's the best way to tell her?
Tell her, "OMG u just sat on my imaginary friend u bastard!"
If you happen to frequent this club often enough then there must be some dancers that you know by name or they know you. Ask the waitress if so and so is working. That can help weed out the undesirables.
I know a waitress who knows my likes/dislikes. When she sees me, she let's me know who's working and if she wants me to have her grab so & so. That's customer service.
This is one of the frustrating things about my #3 club. The girls who will walk around and ask about lap dances (as opposed to the ones who get done with the stage and beeline their way to the dressing room, which is my biggest problem there) are typically the ones who are among the lesser dancers of the club. And some of them will just sit down, which I find really annoying. I mostly end up telling them I don't want a dance. There's not much subtlety there.
Tell her you have no money
Well once i said very nicely "thank you for the offer but your just not my type" wow was that the wrong thing to say .. She freaked out spewed a long string of verbal abuse at me then attempted to take a swing at me.. Wrong move crazy girl the bouncer had her before she finished her swing .. Last time i saw her there funny thing is saw here a few weeks latter at a different sc and she had no memory of it at all .. Yikes! So moral of the story every girl takes regection differently but i still vote for be polite and direct
"But ooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you We are never, ever, ever getting a dance together"
If, as you say, you visit the club often, Slick has it correct. A barmaid can be your best friend. But be sure to take care of her.
Agree with Slick and Clubber. The waitresses pimp for me all the time. They know who I dance with, and when none of my regulars are there they tell me about some new girl if they think she's my type.
"I'm not getting any dances right now" or "I'm not getting any dances, I'm going to watch the stage show for a a while " usually work. I like "I don't have any money" but I'm afraid that would get around and keep the dancers away from you that you were interested in.
For some reason it's hard for me to tell a dancer no. I usually tell them maybe later, and most of them get the clue and don't come back.
when i was a wee baby stripper i used to hear this as a form of rejection "im waiting for someone..." it might have confused me when i realized that they were waiting all night for a dancer that never appeared, but it never offended me at least.
when i was a wee baby stripper i used to hear this as a form of rejection "im waiting for someone..." it might have confused me when i realized that they were waiting all night for a dancer that never appeared, but it never offended me at least.
I had a barmaid that would call me when a certain dancer was working and if a new one came in she thought i'd like. I tipped her well and bought her drinks, so she was always in my corner. I also knew her about 30 years.
I feel like the best answer here is JUST ACT LIKE A FUCKING MAN WHO ISN'T AFRAID OF 20-SOMETHING GIRLS. Seriously, best thing I ever did for myself was stop acting like such a pussy in the club. 20-something-year-old tatted uneducated girls don't intimidate me, and I'm not afraid to handle things straight. That said, I ALWAYS treat the girls with kindness and respect -- I'm just straight and clear about my intentions. A girl sits down who I'm not going to dance with, I'll get her name (there's no stripper in the club whose name I don't want to know, and get to know her personality a little bit), then if we're interested I'll talk to her a bit, then I'll smile and tell her "I'm not going to be doing any dances but thank you for hanging out with me" ... then I either add "but I'd like to meet some of the other girls" or "you're welcome to hang out anyway while you find a customer", depending on how much I like her personality. I'll give her a few dollars if she's been sitting with me for a while. I'm rock-solid confident, look them in the eye while I'm saying it. I find that as long as I don't act totally weak, that's all it takes. Look embarrassed, look at the ground, act weak, and they'll treat you that way.
I don't feel like I should need to make up any lies about not having money, or waiting for some girl I'm not waiting for, that's what guys who are scared of strippers do. Be straight, be confident, but smile and be respectful and treat them like people, tip them a little if they've spent a bunch of time with you before you dismiss them.
This bears repeating again: I can't tell you how much more fun I have in the club, and how much more I enjoy how the girls treat me back, and how much I enjoy not feeling awkward/embarrassed/intimidated by strippers, since I adopted the man-the-fuck-up policy. You have to at least try it! Remember, be respectful!!! Being mean to cover up your discomfort is not what I mean -- being confident enough to treat people right is.
No stripper is too much for me. I'm the mother fucking Caesar Milan of strip clubs. With the exception that I'm not ambiguously gay like him.
@Subraman-I like your style.
Subraman good comments, when you come to my club I doubt I would approach you if you acted like that. I do have friends that I hang out with (who do not get dances) but when a guy flat out says "no dances," to me that means personal time is available for me which i prefer over mindless bullshit without financial promise.
trixxi: just to complete the picture, there are lots of girls who I'll invite to stay, and just tip them to drink with me, and I have a drinking-buddy relationship with any number of girls. I love hanging out with strippers, every girl knows where they stand with me. I'm friendly to everyone, but don't waste anyone's time and don't let them waste mine or let anyone alpha me into doing something I don't want to. If you drink and you have a fun personality, chances are we'd get along great, even if I didn't buy dances.
SlickSpic: thanks man! high praise from the legendary slickster
Slick,just talk to us.
I do agree and see your POV subraman ... I dont want to seem rude but at my club there is a majority of men who just come to hang out with the strippers and do not get dances at all ... I am not offended by them, I even get along with them, but I am at the club for financial earnings so when these types just want to hang out, I usually don't want to waste my own time when it is likely that there is a paying customer waiting for me. I do think there shouldnt be pressure to buy lap dances but from a dancer's perspective it gets old talking and "being the life of the party" with multiple guys who all think you are beautiful and charming but they refuse to tip you (or any dancer) or buy you (or any dancer) a drink. These "club friends" are always dropped for "paying customers," so while it is nice to chat briefly I suggest that if you really dont want dances with a particular dancer let it be known asap, also soften the blow by giving the dancer a small pity tip. If she wants to still chat after that you know that she is talking to you because she wants to, not because she is hoping to sell lapdances.
What do you do if the stripper is so drunk that she just wants some one to talk to? There is one at Follies that has that reputation and she gets down right obnoxious. Ignoring her won't work and speaking to her to simply let her know you don't want a dance, just encouragers her to keep talking. Mean while she successfully cock blocking you.
Grab the back of your pants and tell her you just sharted yourself. Then get up and run to the bathroom! That might do the trick.
I think I get what Subraman is saying. We are the ones going in there to spend money. We don't have to provide service to the ladies, they are there to provide us a services for our money. An annoying stripper is like an annoying salesperson at any place. I'm not going to buy a car off of a pestering car salesperson. There's a reason most people don't like to hear the phrase "can I help you find anything" while shopping and usually reply with "Just looking".
There just needs to be a balance between salesmanship from the ladies and honest answers from the guys.
Acting like a dick isn't gonna win you brownie points when she goes back to the dressing room and tells all of the other dancers that you are an asshole and to avoid you. Its not about manning up - its about just being honest and polite. It gets the job done with less risk if collateral damage.
Just to be clear, I'm specifically saying not to be a dick. But I do think it's about manning up. The reason most guys are wrapped around the axle about this question is because they feel so unsure and off-balance. In the best case, that lack of confidence leads them to make up stories about (say) not having money, waiting for someone they're not waiting for, etc. In the worst case, many guys who DO act like dicks -- not even looking at the girl, just putting a hand out and saying "no thanks" in a dismissive way, for example -- are just covering up their lack of confidence. She's a young woman who is just trying to earn a living for herself, and OF COURSE she's going to keep trying to sell you if you appear weak. Man up, be respectful and straightforward, and your problems magically vanish. And you'll laugh at the fact that you ever though this was a hard question to answer.
Fuck off works great
sc,
If one has the rep that you do in Follies at their club. not to worry about what you do. Tell her to piss off and if she were to go crying to other dancers, they would likely tell her to piss off as well. Pretty much how it has worked in my regular clubs. Never had a dancer, bartender/maid, bouncer problem. I try to know the owner or at east the # 1 manager as quickly as I can.
I remember I told One dancer I told her no, no thanks, etc, etc, and she just wanted to argue. I finally had enough of her not leaving after 15 minutes and left her alone. She stayed in a corner of the club the rest of the night and I never saw her again.
Another dancer wasn't that persistent all in one night. However she didn't seem to want to take no for an answer. On following visits she didn't give up. I resorted to saying things like I didn't want to spend any money on lap dances. She offered to do it for free if I didn't like it. After I said no again, she offered to take me to her home. I thought she was bluffing but decided to say no thanks anyway. She never bothered me again.
So far I only remember 3 dancers who didn't seem to understand what no or no thanks meant. Of course sometimes you might think a dancer is bluffing when she is not. If I don't want a dance, why would I want to go home with her?
@Subraman - what you describe isn't manning up (or womanning up in my case) - it's common sense and common courtesy. I don't think customers are intimidated as much as they don't want to hurt any dancers feelings. That's not being pussified...it's just panicking and not using common sense and handling it the way you described.
Some dancers can get very aggressive. Sometimes I think they really want to have sex. Actually I think most of the time. If you run into this a lot, just pick and choose. Forget lap dances.
Except that when the bouncer, who lives off dancer tips, just acts like fucking man, then you will soon be manning down instead of manning up.
I guess there will always be some strippers who don't get it that, when they act like they are selling a high-mileage used car, it's like they're saying they have a high-mileage used ass.
Go jam your tongue down the bouncers mouth.