There is a literary society in England that awards an annual 'Bad Sex in Fiction' prize. Here is a passage (one of many) from a recent winner of this prize:
"Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her." - with thanks?? to an Irish author, Rowan Somerville.
That's pretty bad, all right!
Obvious they are ignorant of the fine writings of JuiceBox. They would be amazed of the things to do with fried chicken.
Art,you make me want to fuck a maple tree.
Slowly I turned....step by step....inch by inch
Aaah, the innate lyricism of the Irish.
"Fifty Shades of Grey," is the most worthless book in the English language. I finished the first two volumes, only by forcing myself to read it. Former ATF visited me (no sex) to use my computer and wanted to "borrow" the trilogy. I gave her volumes one and two because I never wanted to keep them. I will read volume three before the movie is released. Former ATF got nothing for her rip off.
The sex is trite, predictable, intrusive and unbelieveable. Noat even decent fantasy. Must be a lot of sad lonely women around for this book to become a best seller. What does it say about me that I bought it too?
Motorhead, you Stooge! You should have to be sent over Niagara Falls for that one.
...it was a dark and stormy night.....