What makes a PL?
AbbieNormal
Maryland
The accusation seems to be flying, so maybe let's review. From the Glossary;
"PL Pathetic Loser - get a grip, she's not in love with you, she just wants your money. All of it."
I think we could also consider the RIL to be a subspecies of the PL.
"RIL--Regular In Love. A PL who gives big money to one dancer for laps in the hope that the "date" outside the club will actually happen. He is too smitten to understand that there will never be a date, just his empty wallet."
Other types of PLs may include Rocks, Spectators and blue light shoppers, although I'm sure some would argue that going into a stripclub and not spending money will make you more popular somehow. Here's the question, are you now, or have you ever been a PL. If you have been hoovered, juiced, or scammed you may want to consider your answer carefully. I think most guys that go to a club are going to get juiced every so often. A few too many drinks, a hot stripper who gives you lots of attention, next thing you know your getting a cash advance on the Visa so you can get a few more dances. Most of us learn to keep it in perspective from the posting on the board. Here's my PL story. My first ever experience with lapdancing came in the mid 1990's in San Antonio and Houston on a buisness trip. I had recently ended a 3 year live in relationship and started hitting a few non-contact DC clubs. Never having had any lapdance, and then very quickly finding out what was available over the course of 6 days in those two cities I burned through about $1800. I managed to take one stripper back to my hotel room on my last night in San Antonio. No fee, but she already had most of my money. I spent the next two weeks beating myself up over the money (I had to almost empty my savings account to cover the tab) and waiting for my johnson to fall off. I learned my limits very quickly and painfully. I wasn't in love with any of the strippers, I just wanted more. I didn't blame the strippers, they were doing their job and I was asking them to do it.
"PL Pathetic Loser - get a grip, she's not in love with you, she just wants your money. All of it."
I think we could also consider the RIL to be a subspecies of the PL.
"RIL--Regular In Love. A PL who gives big money to one dancer for laps in the hope that the "date" outside the club will actually happen. He is too smitten to understand that there will never be a date, just his empty wallet."
Other types of PLs may include Rocks, Spectators and blue light shoppers, although I'm sure some would argue that going into a stripclub and not spending money will make you more popular somehow. Here's the question, are you now, or have you ever been a PL. If you have been hoovered, juiced, or scammed you may want to consider your answer carefully. I think most guys that go to a club are going to get juiced every so often. A few too many drinks, a hot stripper who gives you lots of attention, next thing you know your getting a cash advance on the Visa so you can get a few more dances. Most of us learn to keep it in perspective from the posting on the board. Here's my PL story. My first ever experience with lapdancing came in the mid 1990's in San Antonio and Houston on a buisness trip. I had recently ended a 3 year live in relationship and started hitting a few non-contact DC clubs. Never having had any lapdance, and then very quickly finding out what was available over the course of 6 days in those two cities I burned through about $1800. I managed to take one stripper back to my hotel room on my last night in San Antonio. No fee, but she already had most of my money. I spent the next two weeks beating myself up over the money (I had to almost empty my savings account to cover the tab) and waiting for my johnson to fall off. I learned my limits very quickly and painfully. I wasn't in love with any of the strippers, I just wanted more. I didn't blame the strippers, they were doing their job and I was asking them to do it.
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21 comments
Why is it that everything we write on this board is assumed to be a lie or rationalization, yet we are supposed to treat you with absolute credulity?
These customers are in DEEP DENIAL, and will sometimes post on internet message boards, trying to DECEIVE others regarding their true desires. The evidence however comes from their contradictory and/or especially revealing posts; destroying whatever brave face they from time to time try to put on.
In some sense the PL is worse than the RIL? Hopefully the RIL gets over it the first time he gets burned, whereas the PL may be in for long term non-fulfillment.
"a) You're a PL if you pay women for affection, love, friendship, sex, intimacy, etc. These ought to be gotten for free."
Yes they should, but not in a strip club. In addition, we may not all agree with you. Some men might like to pay for sex because it is quick and simple. Your contention that we should all go to strip clubs looking to spend little or no money and be rewarded with free dates and sex, while an admirable goal, misses one point. There is still work involved. As your method has been outlined (numerous times), I think its fair to say that it would take a few visits to get to the dating part, let alone the sex. If in this time you aren't getting dances, or at least not getting dances from the girls you would like to, it kind of defeats the purpose of going to a strip club as far as I'm concerned. If I want to go through the whole courtship ritual I can go to a bar. The fun of clubs is that they're a shortcut. I get to see the girl I like naked without even dinner and a movie, and I can probably get to second base the same night for less than the cost of the movie. To me, that saves a lot of time and effort. Let's then assume I want sex. I could hit the singles scene, or whatever, find a reasonably attractive girl, go on some dates, and if things work out, maybe score within a month. There is an alternative. I pick up the phone book, look under "Escorts" and for about $300 I can have a girl delivered to my door within hours. Now if you are the kind of guy who can meet a girl and have her in bed within a few hours, my hat is off to you. Some guys may want things you don't or may work on a different timescale. I'm not going to call them PL's for taking the shortcut. They're PL's if, as FONDL said, they keep chasing the payoff that'll never come.
As for the sports metaphor, if you can get free tickets, great, you probably know someone. Most people need to pay for their seats since I don't know any sports franchise that hands out free tickets to fans unless they are doing it for marketing or buisness purposes. Perhaps strippers fall all over each other in the stampede to sleep with you or dance for you for free (I somehow doubt it), but most likely you'll need a bit of time and effort to work your magic. If I start working now to cultivate the right relationships, just maybe I can score free playoff tickets this fall, or I could just order them and pay for them.
CG: A very interesting post. First of all, I would limit what you spend while dating: make it a nominal amount such that she couldn't possibly be dating you for what you are spending on her (other guys would spend more).
Ok, but your central thesis seems to be that, for women, dating is a gambit to get free stuff once you marry them. There is alot of sense to this argument. I would point out, however, that in lots of marriage women are contributing more than enough for their "upkeep". Is that the only time you should get married? I think it would be best, but there could definitely be exceptions. I think if somehow you both knew you loved each other aside from the money it would be ok to spend money then. The problem would be how to know.
a) You're a PL if you pay women for affection, love, friendship, sex, intimacy, etc. These ought to be gotten for free.
There may be some exceptions to this: For example if you are in a serious relationship and paying strippers for some fun that your partner approves of then you are ok.
Now, I've never been sure how strippers have been able to hijack the term "PL" so that it only applies to customers. IMO, just as many strippers are "pathetic losers" as their customers: they are way below where they ought to be in life with respect to their own ideals; they are not doing suffecient work on self improvement to get out of it; and they are in their poor situation mainly due to themselves and their attitudes as opposed to bad luck.