Joke of the Day

Ain't that the gospel truth. Unless he brings a couple of 50-100 round drums. Then it's on.

Maybe he was just talking about the ones for that shift.

We're gonna need a bigger boat

We're going to need some more FBI guys

We're gonna need more barbarians.

Set phasers to stun

"The bartender looks at him, and says," Can't you wait until 2AM?

The bartender looks at him, and says, "You mean the Juice Crew? Good luck!"

The bartender looks the enraged husband in the eye and says, "The DJ booth is to the left."

Did you hear the one about the mad stripper?

This one guy kept throwing monopoly money at her...
She asked him why he was throwing fake money at her...
He replied...
,
Because you keep putting fake tits in my face!

Three guys are in a strip club. One guy walks over to a stripper, licks a 50 dollar bill and sticks it to one side of her butt.The next guy doesn’t want to be shown up so he takes a 100 dollar bill, licks it, and sticks it to the other side of her butt.

The third guy doesn’t want to be shown up but he doesn’t have any money. He thinks for a moment and suddenly he gets an idea. He walks over to the stripper, takes out his ATM card, slides it down the crack of her ass, takes his 150 dollars and goes home!

Once there was a little boy who was curious about what a strip club was like so one day he decided to sneak into one. Once he was in, he watched as the strippers danced. He watched until they started taking of their clothing. That's when he bolted out the door and started running down the street and into a man. The man asks the boy, "What's wrong young man? You look like you just saw a ghost!". The little boy replies, "My mommy and daddy told me that if I ever watched anybody undress, I'd turn to stone...and all of a sudden I felt something hard!".

What's the difference between a stripper's boyfriend and Asprin?
Asprin works.

What’s the difference between a magician and a stripper?
One has a cunning stunt

Why are only 5% of strippers touch-typists?
The rest are hunt’n peckers.

Why do strippers make bad bankrobbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards

Why did the stripper wear panties?
To keep her ankles warm.

Whats the difference between a stripper and a mosquito?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.

^^^ LOL SC

Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."

Cashier: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"

Cowboy: "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."

LOL

A man is sitting in a strip club when a true 10 sidles up to him and begins caressing his thigh. As he becomes aroused she purrs into his ear: "for $100 I will do absolutely anything you want". He pulls 100 from his wallet, slaps it on the table and says: "great, paint my house".