Art Criticism - Just Another Type Of SS?
One of my hobbies allowing me to kill some time in retirement is metal sculpting. It gives me some exercise and allows me to use my metal bashing and welding skills acquired during my early oil patch years. I make lawn ornaments, boot scrapers, rural mail boxes, bird feeder stands - nothing remotely fancy or especially artistic (or so I thought).<br />
<br />
One of my neighbours asked if I could make something that could be auctioned for the benefit of a charity she supports. I was happy to do so and threw together a piece of pleasing shapes (to my eye) that I mounted in a cement pad that I dyed shocking "stripper pink". Weeks later the convener of the auction phones me and asks for the title of the piece. Title? This was just assorted scrap from Rancho farmerart! I had just returned from a successful strip club excursion so I told the convener that the work's title was "PASSION............SPENT"!<br />
<br />
To my great embarrassment, another supporter of this charity writes art criticism for a small artsy-fartsy low circulation magazine here in Western Canada. This silly pseud wrote a long piece for this magazine extolling this piece of scrap metal that I threw together in two days. Here are some selected quotes from that article (and I swear I am not making this up)<br />
<br />
".....a new genius has burst forth on the Alberta sculpture scene."<br />
<br />
"......the poetic lyricism of the title is evinced in the pure, raw eroticism of the work."<br />
<br />
".....one stands in awe, gazing in intense rapture at this wonderful masterpiece. What a passion it must have been in the sculptor's life to inspire the creation of such a piece as this!"<br />
<br />
This idiot ran on and on in this vein for a few hundred words! When my neighbour showed me this article my first instinct was to find all the copies of this magazine and burn them. If any of my old oil patch buddies saw this I would be swiftly drummed out of that macho fraternity.<br />
<br />
For all this, the "masterpiece" didn't sell at the charity auction. I had to haul the damn thing back to Rancho farmerart. It stands outside my machine shop now. My dog pisses on it and birds shit on it. I chuckle every time I walk by this "masterpiece".<br />
<br />
The "new genius" has not to date been approached for new commissioned "masterpieces"! So, what was this fool critic's angle? I much prefer the bare, pure, commercial honesty of STRIPPER SHIT.<br type="_moz" />
<br />
One of my neighbours asked if I could make something that could be auctioned for the benefit of a charity she supports. I was happy to do so and threw together a piece of pleasing shapes (to my eye) that I mounted in a cement pad that I dyed shocking "stripper pink". Weeks later the convener of the auction phones me and asks for the title of the piece. Title? This was just assorted scrap from Rancho farmerart! I had just returned from a successful strip club excursion so I told the convener that the work's title was "PASSION............SPENT"!<br />
<br />
To my great embarrassment, another supporter of this charity writes art criticism for a small artsy-fartsy low circulation magazine here in Western Canada. This silly pseud wrote a long piece for this magazine extolling this piece of scrap metal that I threw together in two days. Here are some selected quotes from that article (and I swear I am not making this up)<br />
<br />
".....a new genius has burst forth on the Alberta sculpture scene."<br />
<br />
"......the poetic lyricism of the title is evinced in the pure, raw eroticism of the work."<br />
<br />
".....one stands in awe, gazing in intense rapture at this wonderful masterpiece. What a passion it must have been in the sculptor's life to inspire the creation of such a piece as this!"<br />
<br />
This idiot ran on and on in this vein for a few hundred words! When my neighbour showed me this article my first instinct was to find all the copies of this magazine and burn them. If any of my old oil patch buddies saw this I would be swiftly drummed out of that macho fraternity.<br />
<br />
For all this, the "masterpiece" didn't sell at the charity auction. I had to haul the damn thing back to Rancho farmerart. It stands outside my machine shop now. My dog pisses on it and birds shit on it. I chuckle every time I walk by this "masterpiece".<br />
<br />
The "new genius" has not to date been approached for new commissioned "masterpieces"! So, what was this fool critic's angle? I much prefer the bare, pure, commercial honesty of STRIPPER SHIT.<br type="_moz" />
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17 comments
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Many artistic geniuses (Gauguin, Van Gogh, Tupac) didn't become commercially successful until after their deaths. <br />
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Of course, the whole dying thing may be a little extreme, so maybe you could just slice an ear off?<br />
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Dudester's Axiom-spoon fed dog shit long enough, people will eventually acquire a taste for it.
I have enjoyed your posts since you started, you said you were new and jumped in with both feet, I only wished I could express what I've seen the way you do. Keep up the good job.<br />
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At a recent party at my farm one of the suppliers I had invited gave flowery compliments to my numerous sculptures in the yard. Told me I was so talented that the stuff would sell easily in a gallery.
Ha! ha! Talk about getting my ass kissed in hopes of getting business out of me!! Didn't work. A competitor beat him on price.
That story had "Dick Johnson" written all over it. Sometimes, truth IS stranger than fiction.
What you created or you?