12 comments

Making old age work for you in the club.

Nov 24, 2013, 7:24 AM

A common for men over 50 is an enlarged prostate. This causes you to need to piss frequently and the flow of urine is very slow. It causes you to get up many times during the night just to piss.

But there is help. I come in the form of Flomax, a drug that relaxes the prostate muscles and allows you to sleep better at night. There is a side effect of the drug. It is retrograde ejaculation. Instead of the semen shooting out of your penis it is redirected into your bladder. It feels like any orgasm but no mess.

So yesterday I was getting a BBBJ and after I busted my nut, she just kept sucking until I finally had to tell her to stop. So it got me to thinking. Why not negotiate a "no cum" clause in the extras agreement. If you don't cum, you don't pay?

I wonder how many times you could get away with that before you got your ass kicked or thrown out of the club?

comments (12)

Jump to latest

SlickSpic12 years ago

I like that idea. I just recently had a dancer tell me that if I came quicker, I could save money in the VIP. You figure that she'd want to make as much money as possible. Lazy gal.

bubba26712 years ago

Pretty funny stuff. Does it hurt or case any weird infections to back up like that? We've also figured out the Shadow is immune from getting kicked out of most clubs... they can't afford the revenue loss.

shadowcat12 years ago

bubba267 - Definition

By Mayo Clinic staff

Retrograde ejaculation occurs when semen enters the bladder instead of emerging through the penis during orgasm. Although you still reach sexual climax, you may ejaculate very little or no semen. This is called a dry orgasm. Retrograde ejaculation isn't harmful, but it can cause male infertility.

Retrograde ejaculation can be caused by medications, health conditions or surgeries that affect the nerves or muscles that control the bladder opening. If retrograde ejaculation is caused by a drug you're taking, stopping the drug may be an effective treatment. For retrograde ejaculation due to a health condition or as a result of surgery, treatment with drugs may restore normal ejaculation and fertility. But treatment for retrograde ejaculation is generally only needed to restore fertility.

jackslash12 years ago

We old guys need some advantages!

I once tried to convince a table full of strippers that they should offer half-price dances for seniors. They just laughed.

gatorfan12 years ago

My balls hitting the floor helps me find them.

joker4412 years ago

Thanks SC. We "senior" members appreciate your sharing this.

My situation is somewhat different. Due to age but mainly medications I experience delayed ejaculation. I reach orgasm with no immediate ejaculation. I often have to encourage the lady to keep going. Anywhere from ten to twenty seconds later I start cuming and continue to cum for up to a minute.

I tell the ladies that my old semen aren't swimming but are using wheelchairs and walkers. "Don't rush me I'm moving as fast as I can."

SlickSpic12 years ago

@Joker44-You got me dying over here. Keep up the humor.

shadowcat12 years ago

joker44 - It's just a good thing that our money isn't slow, etc. :)

tenisbum177612 years ago

I'm just happy being an old guy that doesn't need a blue pill to get an erection. 20-25 year old strippers grinding their hot bodies against me still does the trick.

joker4412 years ago

SC - & no "senior" discounts either. Respect for your elders has disappeared. LOL.

bang6912 years ago

I was on flow max once. I had a kidney stone. The good thing is I had no trouble shooting a big load of sperm in to the condom while get'n cfs

crazyjoe12 years ago

That is funny Shadow...let us know how that works out