I'm dating a girl that after 1 year of our relationship told me she was a atripp

It was 20 years ago!

A year?? Must not have been a very serious relationship!

Are you really obsessing over a brief 20-year old rotten (for her!) period in her life, one that she is ashamed of?

Imagine the trust she had to have in you to tell you about that because she doesn't want to have secrets from you. Not trusting her the way you are going about it is approximately one half step above her ex making her do it in the first place.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but if you can't let this go NOW, do her a favor and cut her loose now, because she clearly deserves someone who can trust her.

Sounds like you should walk. ONLY you know for sure.

If you have feelings for her now why do you give a damn how she became that person? You sound a bit like the type of person who stalks women. By the way twenty years ago strippers were having sex with customers and in Boston you could get a hand job at the damn bar because private rooms were not yet the rage. This is what I heard lol.

Troll

I'm completely in love with her, thinking on get married. After that, I look at her and keep imagining she naked, dancing and if she made a BJ on someone for money… She swears that never made it neither sex for money, shows repulses that I can imagine something like this, and she suffered a lot during this time.

Don't forget that she was married at this time with a SOB that made her doing this for money FOR HIM! She use to love so much this guy that made it! And she suffers tons because of that!

I don't know if I will handle this on the future or if I will forget and live well without this scenes on mind with her on my side.

If I was sure that this time strippers were no HO and didn't make anything else but a dance showing the bulbs only, I could handle that! I think.

That sucks my friends...

You will never know for sure. If you don't trust her, then its probably a good indication that its not time to get engaged.

Why the fuck do you care what she was doing 20 years ago while you were in diapers? It's not as if you can change it, nor can she. It's over, move the fuck on. If you can't get over it, move the fuck on.

@micjunior,

If you have a Bible handy (yeah, I know. Not usually something that comes up on tuscl!) open it to John 8:3-11. A woman accused of adultery is brought before Jesus, and the Pharisees say basically, "According to Moses she should be stoned to death. Don't you agree?"

To which Jesus replied, "Absolutely. Let the one of you who is without sin cast the first stone."

Of course, they all beat a quiet retreat.

Not one of us is perfect; God knows we all have things in our lives that shame us. I think that you have a real catch there - probably more than you deserve. You can't care who she was, only who she is and wants to be. Rejoice in your good fortune and MARRY HER.

Great words ATACdawg… I know that you are right!
The problem is that always when I look at her, I imagine she naked, been a sexual object for others and been paid…As a hooker! I feel bad, unconfortable! I just need to know if I will be able to forget this by the time and not even think about it! Just wonder if I can forget this!

If this is actually a legit situation, your only hope for a positive outcome is to have a guided discussion with your gf facilitated by a trained therapist so that you both can dump your garbage about this situation in the healthiest way possible. Yöu'll never be able to ignore it on your own will and she sounds like she is septillion scarred from the situation, too.

You do not trust her enough to marry her. So don't. Move on.

If it was 20 years ago, why worry now? If you don't trust her in the club, then you're relationship isn't going to be steller. Either trust that she has good intentions or leave. Or get her a better more decent job if you care that much.

Was her name Juicy Reynolds?

If anyone needs counseling here it's the OP. She confided something that was clearly a humiliating experience for her that happened 20 years ago. It sounds like she was essentially forced to strip but couldn't do it for more than 3 weeks; it boggles my mind that you would even assume that if some of the strippers engaged in extras that she also must have in her short stint as a dancer. Get over it by whatever means are necessary for you, or if you must just break up with her for a reason that to me is just utterly ridiculous.

One question. Did All the strippers use to make a Handjob and touch the clients or some of them didn't do it as moral thoughts?
I'm talking about 19/20 years ago!

Mic:

You are not ready for marriage. As a matter of observation, I would say you were the one who is fucked up.

You have some serious mental problems if you are obsessing about something that happened 20 years ago.

Pabloantonio got it right. This reeks of obsession. It is a non-event if it did not happen to you. You either accept this woman as she is or move on. Good lick with that "perfect" search.

^^^agree

It makes sense when we are not involved...

Keep in mind that this woman did something she obviously hated out of love for her man. She sounds like the kind of woman any guy would want to be with. You would be the big loser if you continue to hold this against her.

Mic junior, maybe this is the wrong site to be on with your present level of maturity. You should try out Nick Jr instead.

I'm starting to wonder if this just another fake story/troll post type of thing. Now you're worried about the possibility of hand jobs 20 years in the past. Suck it up, Buttercup, and get the fuck over it!!

If the kicks in the ass you're getting here aren't sufficient for you to get past it, go get some counseling where someone will handle you with kid gloves and ring you up for thousands of dollars over multiple sessions. It is 100% your problem, and if you do break up with her over it, you still need to fix it before getting involved with anyone else. If you can't handle something as petty as that, what can you handle?

Give her the benefit of the doubt until proven other wise

I appreciate the nice comments. This is actually much better than any analyst! :)

I've talked to her today. It seems that will be ok.

I will handle this situation overall.

For the positive comments and not agressive ones, I thank you very much.

Have a great weekend you all.

I'd give her mucho points for telling you at all. Most people would not. Sounds like a keeper.

You mean, she sees me as her guardian?

No, a keeper in this context means someone to be serious about, as opposed to a one-nighter of short-term FWB.

Yep. She is wonderful. The problem is that sometimes I imagine her naked doing a dance for whoever paid…
And I think it was not 3 weeks, she says that to ease the situation… But I hope i will be able to handle that. Mind we don't control, the thoughts come and you think about…
It is not being easy for me. I know that for you guys is easy to give an opinion, as you are not on that situation. The woman that you thought was pure, never involved with hard sex and this dirty world and suddenly you hear something like that? Not easy at all!
I appreciate all the comments you are giving to me. It is really helping a lot!

You're too insecure for this woman. In addition, you appear to not be a native English speaker, and thus perhaps not originally from the U.S. While there's certainly nothing wrong with that, it could also mean that you are using non-American standards to judge her and her past.

Yes I'm not american, so you are saying that it is normal in this society that beautiful girls can be dancers and strippers that does not affect any moral issue? So, if you are beuatiful, you will probably be a stripper?
And to be clear, I'm not judging her. I just have a problem imaging her gatting naked for money. It is a moral problem for me. I came from a jesuit school, my family is the kind of italian tradicional family. Very moral!
So, if here is acceptable been a stripper, I will understand better.

No, I'm saying that the standards in America are different than they are in other places in the world.

You've hit the nail on the head with your "I just have a problem..." comment. *You* have a problem. Either get over it and move on with this woman, or *don't* get over it and move on, without her.

You are not going to change what she was or was not, you are not going to change what she did or didn't do. You only have the now, and all the wailing, hand-wringing and gnashing of teeth isn't going to change that.

Consider this: if you really love her, then EVERYTHING SHE WAS AND DID went into making up the girl you love. If she hadn't done those things, she wouldn't be same person, and you might not feel the same way about her.

If you can't accept the fact that she is who she is, and did what she did (especially if she isn't doing those things now), then you are just wasting her, and your own, time.

great point and pretty much all that can be said. You can't change your past or someone else's so it fits into a nice picture so you can feel all good inside. If you trust her then you should have no problems going forward.

What are the standards in America about this issue? Is acceptable been a stripper when the woman is beautiful?
Would you guys get married with a former stripper?

It's not about what the standard actually is, it's about the difference between your expectations/standards and reality with regard to this girl.

What difference does it make to you? Why do you care so much? Why can't you let the past be the past and move into the future?

To be blunt, it's none of your fucking business what she did or didn't do before you met her. Unless there's an issue, such as disease, that could potentially affect you (in a concrete form, not some "oh that's so embarrassing" or "how do I deal with this" kind of bullshit "issue"), then you're invading her privacy.

Is she obsessing over who *you* might have been with and what *you* might have done before she met you?

Get the fuck over your obsession. Her past doesn't matter. Nor does yours.