For those experienced with OTC (with fucking), would you mind sharing some tips/tricks on how you tactfully set expectations before the actual encounter? And, share tips on how you ensure those expectations are met during the actual event?
My limited OTC adventures have ranged from mind blowing to waste of money duds. I think some of the misfires were due to not articulating the correct expectations or not assertively acting on them.
Talking frankly to her is the best way to set expectations. Ask for what you want, politely, and make it clear you aren't just bantering. It should be apparent whether or not she's on board with your desires; if you end up being unsure of her willingness, look elsewhere. To make it more likely that your expectations will be met, don't give any money up front. This latter point is one of the reasons I like to hook up in the club once or twice before proposing OTC; she'll understand that I'm serious, and have fewer doubts about my willingness to hand over the cash when we're done.
Every stripper I knew except one knew OTC meant sex. The one time it didn't I was a bit surprised but I just played along. So I don't worry about the <2% and let it be implicit.
I'm not sure I qualify as experienced, but I've done it a few times.
I've met up with a number of girls outside the club, dancers/shot girls/bartenders/waitresses, with a variety of intentions including legitimate romantic interest, platonic friendship, casual sex, and compensated sex. I've never had a problem with expectations and delivery as far as specific activities, with one minor exception. I've never been one to be explicit either, other than a time and place to meet and sometimes price I've just assumed we're both on the same page. I've also never been asked to pay, even when it was clear to both sides or even negotiated in advance - I've always just squared up with the agreed amount + any tip or just gave her what I thought it was worth. I always pay after and would end any OTC encounter that wanted upfront payment immediately.
I say just try a little harder to read the girl. Unless you are in Farmerart's position of having surplus cash and limited time (fuck you by the way Art :P) spend some time in the club. A few visits and a few dances to develop a "relationship" and you should be able to get on the same page. If you aren't confident, that your on the same page and don't want to be direct you can ask her some questions that are clear you're trying to figure out if she wants to be friends or if she's just doing her job. Once you've established the relationship as business and you've established her as not being a ROB - if she agrees to meet you outside chances are you'll be fine.
Also, don't expect 100% success. You should be able to avoid complete failures for the most part, but having some uninspired sex and things like no shows are gonna happen.
Dolfan: "Also, don't expect 100% success."
And if you use RickyBoy's The System it could be as LOW as 35%!
LOW!
Just tell her what you want and what you want to pay $$. Either she's good with it or not.
Just tell her what you want and what you want to pay $$. Either she's good with it or not.
Besides what has already been said, develop a good rapport with the lady that you choose to do OTC with. If you treat her right within the club, odds are that she'll treat you right OTC.
There is NO single rule or set of rules to screen dancers for OTC action. Every woman is different and most certainly every stripper is different. There are a few guidelines that usually help me. (These are not "mine" but I have benefited from the use of the ideas.)
First, if a dancer agrees to OTC try to establish a level of trust. She will be more comfortable and forthcoming with you once she believes you are neither a vice cop not a serial killer.
Second, at some point, attempt to get HER to define her expectations for the OTC meeting. It will be much easier to determine whether you want this meeting if you know what she expects.
Third, establish her financial interest in the meeting. Sometimes a dancer really just wants to have dinner and sex with someone besides her abusive, drug dealing boyfriend. Almost always, it IS a financial transaction for the dancer. Best if she brings it up, but certainly do NOT meet up OTC without finding out first her financial expectations.
Fourth, treat her, at every opportunity, like a queen. Express, often and extensively, how fortunate you are to be in her company. Do everything you can to make her believe that you think she is beautiful, intelligent and graceful. While she is showing you a great time she is not a slut, whore or cheap lay. I sincerely believe that stroking her ego not only helps her feel better about her time with you and therefore perform better and do more, but it also helps me believe the stuff I'm saying.
None of this guarantees great sex every OTC!
Me have money! You have pussy?