tuscl

Just A Little Johnny Joke

Little Johnny was sitting in class was his teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, when you grow up, what do you want to be?"

Little Johnny replied, "When I grow up, I want to be a billionaire. I want to have condos in exotic locales, drive Ferraris and Lamborghinis, fly in my own private jet, eat at the finest restaurants, gamble in Monaco and Macao, have beautiful models with big, fake titties that dress like sluts, go shopping on my expense account, wait around all day for me to fuck the living dog shit out of their brains, and pamper me whenever I want."

After hearing this, Little Johnny's teacher wanted to change the subject so she asked Little Suzy, "Little Suzy, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Suzy replied, "I want to be Little Johnny's Bitch!"

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Avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe

Lol slick

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Avatar for londonguy
londonguy

A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related.

Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.

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Avatar for VeryBigDawg
VeryBigDawg

Damn I learned a new word today. gateau! wtf, thought this was loowwww class blog????????????

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Avatar for IanSmith
IanSmith

@londonguy “Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.”

LOL

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Avatar for IanSmith
IanSmith

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totalling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which was worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out:

“If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!”

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

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Avatar for IanSmith
IanSmith

A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father.

She stands next to the barber’s chair, eating a muffin while her dad gets his haircut.

The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin."

"I know," she replies, "I'm gonna get tits too."

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Avatar for motorhead
motorhead

^^^

Laughing out loud

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Avatar for Estafador
Estafador

These jokes are all weird

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