Is it any different?

17 comments

• davids

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  19 years ago

  CG: I don't know: when I go to a regular nightclub I only get the staring thing about once a night on average. I find most girls are very evasive with eye contact until you walk right up to them. Even my friends who are really good with chicks report the same thing. Seems like you get alot more female attention than the average guy: Are you better looking/dressed or do you have some other secret? Not sure why you think RL thinks every guy goes to SCs looking to date stripers, or that he thinks it's the only or even best place to pickup women. I think you are reading way too much into his posts. Also I don't think he spends excessive time here: usually under 10 minutes a day posting. Many posters are averaging much more than that.
• casualguy

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  19 years ago

  I don't call myself an expert because at the moment I remember the girls who have been more blunt at giving me signals especially like staring at you. Things also depend if the girl is looking for someone like you or not. If in doubt though, you can always go right at a girl and possibly settle the question by making a move. I think RL is a real head case. Apparently he/she thinks every guy goes to a strip club to try to date strippers, lol. That's really funny or amusing. That's a very twisted view of strip clubs in my opinion. Everyone I know just goes to have a little bit of fun, no strings attached, no committments to any girls, etc. etc. If guys want to pick up girls, other places are better I believe but RL apparently is stuck on strip clubs. RL, if you read this message, there is hope for even you. Life does exist outside of strip clubs. Maybe one day you will discover that.
• davids

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  19 years ago

  CG: "On the other hand maybe the process is similiar because even in a regular bar a female will often indicate if she is interested in you in some manner if you know what to look for." Care to elaborate? A friend at work told me the same thing, but he couldn't explain it very well, she looks at you, smiles... Usually only happens to me (and him) once per visit. What signs do you look for? How many of these "approach invitations" do you average per visit?
• JC2003

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  19 years ago

  Are you hitting on me, davids? Is that why you want to think I am gay? Such a confused little boy...
• casualguy

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  19 years ago

  I'm off topic but about to go to sleep having nice college memories. Here's another, a friend of mine called and the girl in the hallway answered and said it was for me. The guy friend of mine said "what kind of suite is this anyway where a girl always answers the phone?" I just laughed. We only had one phone in the suite at that time and the guys didn't want to get up to answer the phone. Off to sleep now.
• casualguy

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  19 years ago

  Well after sleeping through a sci fi show twice, I am up during the middle of the night again. 3rd time seems to be the charm along with a vcr. As far as my comments about picking up strippers, I don't really believe I have that much experience. The only time I remember trying to go out with strippers on purpose and not drunk was when I was completely new to the strip club scene and that particular girl who said yes to meeting me outside the club still viewed me as a customer but that did seem to change. All of the other times I have gone out with strippers would be more like how a stripper can pick up a customer she likes. It was the females or dancers who got me going out with them one way or another. Therefore I believe I have very little experience picking up strippers especially since I don't try to. On the other hand maybe the process is similiar because even in a regular bar a female will often indicate if she is interested in you in some manner if you know what to look for. Well you made me remember a college class where I swear I saw at least 7 or 8 nice looking girls spying on me in class and I was thinking, too many choices, oh my. Now I need to try to go to sleep with that thought stuck in my head. :) Of course remembering coming back from a late class around 10 pm and finding my entrance blocked by the girls from the suite next to mine still haunts my memories. The girls were sitting with their legs in an A shape (shorts of course) one across from another on both sides of the walkway or breezeway we called it. Their legs formed a tunnel so to speak in an A shape. I believe about 5 or 6 girls. Then they told me they weren't going to move and I would have to crawl under their legs. They eventually let me by but that memory still haunts me. I think I should have gone for it. I had a dream where it was lots of fun crawling under their legs especially grabbing the girls to push myself forward past them on my back. Oh well, I guess things we didn't do tend to haunt our dreams later.
• davids

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  19 years ago

  JC: Dude, either a) she was just playing you (95% chance) b) she wasn't and we now have the answer to the thread about you being gay for passing up.
• JC2003

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  19 years ago

  davids, you are the master of projection and everything else apparently so you tell me what's what. I defer to your inferior intellect and poor judgment. Ironically, it turns out that the subject of my "let go" thread was actually into me. She followed me out of the club one night a couple weeks ago, and we talked for a bit. I told her that I thought she was a beautiful young woman but she was too young for the likes of me and that she should find someone closer to her age. Maybe if I was an arrogant, self-absorbed, stripper-obsessed prick like davids, I would have dated her, fucked her, and then dumped her after the "date and fuck a stripper" conquest got dull. I decided instead to try to be a gentleman and considered her feelings. For such a lovely young girl who dances naked for a living, she's surprisingly shy around men she likes.
• davids

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  19 years ago

  JC: You post "how to let go?" with its strong "is the stripper really into me?" theme, and I am the imbecile? Ok, got you that SURE makes alot of sense. Mmmm-hmmm. Is projection part of the letting going process?
• davids

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  19 years ago

  FONDL: It was Nietzsche.
• FONDL

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  19 years ago

  "If you look into the abyss long enough the abyss will look back into you." I've read that somewhere but don't remember where. I think it was quoted at the beginning of a Michael Connelly book. Or maybe Lawrence Block. But to get back to the original question (see I'm not hijacking the thread) I think most dancers are just girls who happen to be dancing to make some money. Outside the club they act just like any other girls their age who come from a similar background.
• JC2003

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  19 years ago

  davids, you are confusing me with "Is this stripper into me?" guy. I was "How to let go?" guy. Do try to keep it straight, m'kay? I know that it must be tough for you, being an imbecile and all. shadowcat, I don't drink on Sundays. It's an old habit from living in states like SC where they don't sell alcohol on Sundays and me being the lazy son of a bitch I am, I never stocked the fridge for those dry days. Damn ABC laws. I guess that davids' effluent display of his "how to date strippers" bullshit got me in the mood to riff on strip clubs, strippers, and the human condition. Oh and the 2 for $20 thing you love to talk about so much? We so get it that you think it's cool that you get a bargain on your dances, man. It reminds me a wee bit too much of RL's "lapdances for FIVE DOLLARS" mantra though. You may want to ease off on mentioning it for a while.
• davids

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  19 years ago

  "[view link], if it's on the Internet, it must be true" Not necessarily. There is a lot of seemingly contradictory information on that site. Partly for legitimate reasons: some things will better for some guys than others, or they will have different comfort/experience levels with various strategies. There are alos some people there who just come up with theoretical speculations and post them without having tried them out in the field. Finally there are also probably some charlatans who just want to make a quick buck and don't care if their information is inaccurate or not. So my advice is to field test everything before you believe it. (Adding to the problem is that stuff which seems counter-intuitive often (but not always) works so it's hard to know what to dismiss out of hand.) PS: Seems you had a little trouble telling if the strippers really like you or not a while back and that is pretty common problem around here... Nice to see you put on a brave face now, however. Part of the letting go process?
• JC2003

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  19 years ago

  Re: [view link], if it's on the Internet, it must be true! But seriously... I'm sure strippers fantasize about being picked up at work. Just not by normal guys like me or you. It's easy to tell if a woman likes you or not. The hardest thing is to clear your head, stop thinking about yourself for a second, and actually pay attention to them to recognize when they do. Watch dancers approach other men in the club. Pay attention to their expressions and posture and how those change when they are talking with other dancers, when they are trying to sell dances to a customer, or when they are just standing in the corner of the club, bored out of their fucking minds, thinking about where they're going to go eat after their shift's done, what things they have to do at home before they crash for the night, whatever. I'll watch a dancer dance for a guy or two. Many guys will watch dancers dance for other guys to gauge how good their dance would be if they asked her for one. I watch to see what their sales pitch looks like, what she is doing when she thinks that her customer isn't looking while she's giving him dances, and I note signs of boredom, indifference, interest, and extreme interest. If you look into the abyss long enough, the abyss will look back into you. If you're a regular at a club, some of the women will analyze your behavioral traits and body language and will figure you out. They will share their observations with their friends, and that information will spread until everyone in the club that isn't a newbie knows what you're like. At some point a few years back, I tired of the behavioral study of women. I was maybe disappointed that they turned out not to be as complex or mysterious as I thought. After that, I just relaxed, said what the fuck, and started enjoying the lapdances and titular thrills of the stripclub at face value: the feel of a woman's supple breasts in the palm of your hands, the way she will arch and angle her body towards your hands when you run your fingers down her back, the heat she radiates when you stroke and caress her body in a way that she likes, the way she will start to sweat profusely or close her eyes and her lips curl into an ineffable smile when you're doing something that really, really gets her going. Woohoo, fun post! Anyone still reading this? Heh!
• Yoda

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  19 years ago

  I'm with you Tif. Virtualy no difference.
• davids

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  19 years ago

  Very few fundamental differences. Women are going to have the same attraction switches irregardless of where they are. "Attraction isn't a choice." These switches are not going to shut off just because the woman is at work. I conjecture that strippers even FANTASIZE about being picked up at work. One fundamental difference is that physical contact and escalation earlier in the interaction, while extremely important in normal venues is going to hinder (if not kill) you in SC pick-ups. Also trying to get into the dating frame before you have sexed her is probably going to backfire (sorry RL): she is OFTEN (but not always) going to go home thinking how attracted she was to you, then remind herself that it is a job, and she is being unprofessional and then FLAKE OUT. So fundmanetally it's basically the same, BUT there will be tactical differences. By default the STRIPPER is going to try harder than the average woman to control the interaction: don't let her do that. Be AGGRESSIVE and control the interaction yourself, that is until she you can see that she is attracted to you, then you should let HER suggest "getting together" (needless to say you can bait her to do this). Also she is going to rate you lower than the same woman would if she met you in a regular nightclub, just because (most) strippers hate customers by default. (If you are extraordinarily social proofed or good looking already such that it is obviouus just by looking at you that you GET ALOT OF PUSSY this does not apply.) Also many strippers have a specific achilles heal that is not as common in the general population that you can take advantage of... I also cojecture that social proof (being liked by other strippers) is kind of funny in a strip club: Since it is so rare for strippers to genuinely like their customers it is going to be all that more meaningful when you do get it and can flaunt it. But, OTOH, it is very hard to know when strippers really like you for real and aren't just trying to play you: If you think a stripper likes you and she does not, then that is points against you, not in favour of you! You just look like a MARK to the others and they will laugh at you. As a final crazy conjecture I postulate that if you are able to make yourself attractive in a strip club and avoid the pitfalls that other customers easily fall into it will actually be easier to pick up strippers in that venue than in others, and easier to pick up strippers than comparable hot women in nightclubs. Again that is just speculation from me for now, though. Finally, to hopefully pre-empt the obvious lame rebuttals: If you make a SPECIAL connection with someone, as I am sure we all have in strip clubs from time to time, she is going to give you alot of leeway in making mistakes and you will still have a chance to date/fuck her. But that, IMO, is a lottery mentality to passively wait for such things. Finally, if you are Brad Pitt, proably nothing on earth can prevent you from getting laid by anyone whever you want. Here's a good article on the subject: [view link] Have fun! -davids
• davids

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  19 years ago

  Let's get casualguy's comments on the original question. Seems he has a good track record.