Shanah Tovah

avatar for Troll_Defense_HQ
Troll_Defense_HQ
For those who are unfamiliar with Jewish customs, at sundown Rosh Hashanah begins. It is one of our High Holidays and lasts two days (until sundown on Friday). It is our religious New Year, but really has several other meanings as well.

I of course will not be here during that time, nor on the following day because it is Shabbos (our weekly Sabbath). Thank you for the warm welcome and all your help and I look forward to returning on Saturday night for more fun.

Now if Dougster was anything other than a paper Jew then he wouldn't be here either, but I wouldn't count on it. In fact he's probably chomping down on a ham and cheese sandwich while I am typing this and planning his next disruption. If he ever visits shul at all I doubt it is anything past a drive by visit (hence the expression "drive by Jew") on Yom Kippur (our most serious holiday).

Anyway thanks again everyone for helping me with my anti-troll campaign and I'll be trolling the trolls again starting on Saturday night. ;)

TDHQ

33 comments

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avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
11 years ago
Abbienormal - "October 8, 2007

The funny thing is that according to orthodox Jewish law I am a Jew. My direct matrilineal ancestor, 5 generations back, was a Jew. I'm not a very good Jew (see pork products, christian worship, etc above), but a Jew nonetheless."
avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
11 years ago
Shalom.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
11 years ago
Maybe Zeus will toss down a few lightening bolts. LOL
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
11 years ago
Happy New Year to you and all our other Jewish board members.
avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666
11 years ago
@shadowcat: Me too...my Mom was Jewish but I was raised Unitarian. I'm now an eclectic pagan.
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
11 years ago
You guys are shitty jews. Going to strip clubs to fuck girls outside of marriage and ogling. For shame Jewish folk for shame
avatar for rockstar666
rockstar666
11 years ago
@Estafador: We pagans embrace fornication. It's almost a requirement, especially when you're also in the music biz.
avatar for BigTuna1
BigTuna1
11 years ago
I'm a Muslim
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
That's a first. A Hillbilly Muslim from West Virginny.
avatar for BigTuna1
BigTuna1
11 years ago
No I'm actually very relaxed from leaving your moms house she has a tight ass and a sweet mouth txtyjuicefag
avatar for BigTuna1
BigTuna1
11 years ago
Slick yes im a muslim that is homless from west virgins and i do meth
avatar for BigTuna1
BigTuna1
11 years ago
My mom was a dude and gave good head god rest her soul
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
11 years ago
"Shanah Tovah" sounds like a bad porn star name...
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
11 years ago
Can we infer by who has not posted today who is Jewish?
avatar for Troll_Defense_HQ
Troll_Defense_HQ
11 years ago
@Motor: Not really.

First, Shabbos ended at sundown, so anyone on the East Coast who posted after 7:55 ET would be in the clear (which was the case with me).

Second, Many American Jews do not take Shabbos very seriously anyway. Judaism breaks down into three major denominations in the U.S., Reform, Conservative and Orthodox (which further breaks down into a number of sub-groups). The Reform might as well not be Jews at all as they don't really follow any of the rules and their offspring almost always intermarry with Gentiles. The Conservative branch is only slightly more observant. I am what is commonly called Modern Orthodox, which means that I am affiliated with a branch of Judaism that observes the holidays and weekly Sabbath much more strictly.
avatar for Troll_Defense_HQ
Troll_Defense_HQ
11 years ago
^Along with the dietary restrictions, wearing of a kippah and other minutiae I won't get into here.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
@TD-I'm curious as to how the Falashas(Ethiopian Jews) and Black Israelites celebrate Shabbos.
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
11 years ago
Interesting. I was born and raised in a moderately rural area and there probably wasn't a Jewish person within 40 miles. In fact it's area with lots of Mennonites and Amish.

Always found it interesting that the Amish and Hasidic Jews are similar in appearance.

Myself, I endured 8 years of Catholic school. It wasn't until my 40's, that either out of boredom, or the priest scandals, I finally stopped going to church. Seemed silly to go to a strip club on Saturday night and then Mass on Sunday.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
@Moto-I'm a lost Catholic whose family understands my Taosist:Buddhist leanings.

Confession use to be a blessing.
avatar for motorhead
motorhead
11 years ago
Slick....

About Confession-

I was always taught that masturbation was a serious sin. So fromthe time I was a teen-ager I would respect that and not receive Holy Communion unless I had made a good Confession. At one point, later in life, our church got a new priest and I confessed my sins to him. He told me he didn't consider masturbation to be a grave sin and don't let thst stop me from receiving Communion.

You would think that would make me happy, right? But it started me on the path of leaving tbe church. An individual priest can't decide what's a sin and what's not.
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
11 years ago
I used to do a lot of work for the Syrian Jews in Deal NJ.You want to talk about beautiful women.The moms were hot enough ,but the daughters could easily stop traffic.All their husbands worked either in the diamond or clothing biz in NYC.They all paid with ten Franklins stapled together.And all of their properties were roped off with four posts connected by wire,which they had to be inside of by sundown.Even though I found this strange,my banker didn't.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
@Moto-When I was a teen, I'd go to confession with good old Father Sanchez-I'd confess in English since his English wasn't too good. He always was lenient. But he wasn't dumb. He asked me once why I only confess in Englidh but talk to him in Spanish the rest of the time. He was a hit with the teens. He was a stand up man.
avatar for zipman68
zipman68
11 years ago
Mo'head I received a message from Metatron telling me that masturbation was not a sin. NOT masturbating is a grave sin. Masturbating is a way of prying to the LORD. Just remember Matthew 6 my friend...don't jerk it in front of others.

Unless they are strippers.

Or Smurfettes. >|:-)
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Metatron-Are you in cahoots with Seraphim?
avatar for zipman68
zipman68
11 years ago
@Slick...did you tell him 'twas an homage to Genesis 11:9? That would have been coo-el.
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
11 years ago
Slick! Was Father Sanchez dirty?
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Naw, Dice, but that's funny. If all priests were like Father Sanchez then we wouldn't have these scandals and pedophile sickos.
avatar for zipman68
zipman68
11 years ago
@slick...don't you know it...the angels manifest themselves to me regularly. Always in the form of a stripper though. I see the angel wing tats on their back when they're drinking my cum...angels dig cum for some reason.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
11 years ago
Long live the temple prostitute.
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
11 years ago
Roger that.
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
11 years ago
Still doesn't explain why a Jew, a conservative at that, defiles females by going to strip club? Isn't that a sin?
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
11 years ago
It's only a sin when you get caught.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
10 years ago
Lol!
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