The Felon Boyfriend and I
jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
My favorite dancer Mandy told me she drives 2 hours to visit her boyfriend in a Michigan prison. She said he went to jail for drugs.
She aroused my curiosity about this boyfriend, who I'll call Earl. Fortunately, the Michigan Department of Correction has a website where you can find information about prisoners.
The website reveals that Earl's criminal history is more extensive than my CF indicated. He was sentenced not only for drugs but also for retail fraud, auto theft, and home invasion. He has convictions going back to 1999.
So how do I measure up against Earl? Here's the comparison:
Race
Earl: White
Me: White
Height
Earl: 6' 3"
Me: 5' 6"
Weight
Earl: 240 lbs
Me: 150 lbs
Age
Earl: 34
Me: 60+
Tattoos
Earl: Center left neck--spider; Front right hand--cross; Left arm--flaming skull; Right arm--Harley Davidson wings; Back--eagle
Me: No tattoos
Length of sentence
Earl: Earliest release date: 04-20-2017; Maximum discharge date: 07-20-2034
Me: Not currently incarcerated
Given the typical stripper values, my CF must find Earl more attractive than me. But I won't worry about the competition until 2017.
She aroused my curiosity about this boyfriend, who I'll call Earl. Fortunately, the Michigan Department of Correction has a website where you can find information about prisoners.
The website reveals that Earl's criminal history is more extensive than my CF indicated. He was sentenced not only for drugs but also for retail fraud, auto theft, and home invasion. He has convictions going back to 1999.
So how do I measure up against Earl? Here's the comparison:
Race
Earl: White
Me: White
Height
Earl: 6' 3"
Me: 5' 6"
Weight
Earl: 240 lbs
Me: 150 lbs
Age
Earl: 34
Me: 60+
Tattoos
Earl: Center left neck--spider; Front right hand--cross; Left arm--flaming skull; Right arm--Harley Davidson wings; Back--eagle
Me: No tattoos
Length of sentence
Earl: Earliest release date: 04-20-2017; Maximum discharge date: 07-20-2034
Me: Not currently incarcerated
Given the typical stripper values, my CF must find Earl more attractive than me. But I won't worry about the competition until 2017.
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29 comments
And Time keeps draggin' on
You've hosted me since nineteen sixty three
When Kramer warns Jerry about marriage...
"They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time! You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. (pleading voice) "Is it all right if I use the bathroom now?"
Her loss. Maybe she'll join him behind bars soon.
LMAO
Actually, I did a search on her. No criminal history. She's very nice and sweet, and so I'm surprised she was involved with a felon.
Haven’t you heard that many a woman (usually the IQ deficient ones) like and are into bad-boys and roughnecks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSDmfdiiT…
Agreed, but it's a decent indicator.
No, some use their mouths
Question though, if your Mandy came to you tomorrow and sincerely asked you to be her new BF, would you go for it?
Not sure what your answer would be but I would run like hell if any of my fav's were looking for the real thing.
I guess I'm lucky there isn't a snowball's chance in hell of that ever happening.
Sounds like something a convict would say to get into a dancer's panties. Those dudes are smooth.