tuscl

ATF said I saw her too often!?

Wednesday, July 31, 2013 5:31 AM
Tonight was one of the weirder nights in my clubbing experience. I had a crush on this dancer two months ago in a club I did not usually go to. Since then I frequented this club every week whenever I could to see her until she went on a vacation, and I think a little chemistry was there before she left. We used to have a nice conversation while she sat on my lap, and the private dances were very intimate, enhanced two-way contact. In our last dance together, I gave her a foot massage and she returned in DFK. That night was definitely listed in my Top-3 clubbing experience. Then she left 3 weeks for vacation and things changed after she came back. It was pretty late the first night I saw her and she was busy with another customer that, according to her, she had not seen for a while. So I decided to go early the next night--tonight. The chemistry was all gone: she was cold and aloof, her stage dances were uninspiring, told me she just wanted to chilling and did not want to work. WTF!? If she didn't like to work, why came? Feel puzzled, I finally asked her why she was acting weird all night. While expecting to hear some SS (sad stories aka stripper shit), she gave me a very unusual reason: I came to see her too much. Seriously? She was down for having me as a regular? Didn't make sense to me. I also felt an ironic, strange deja vu, for that was usually my feelings when a dancer comes to me too often when I visit a club while I want to approach other girls. It's as if I was in Alice's wonderland, where everything goes the other way around. I can only think of two real explanations: 1. She was just depressed this particular night. I know she uses drugs (which scares me a little by the way but also explains a lot of her) so it might be a side effect. It is possible because I didn't see her hustled around much as well. 2. She regretted the level of intimacy we had achieved. Something happened while she was away (new relationship?) and now she was uncomfortable with, say, kissing me. Does anyone have similar experience? What would you react to this situation? Should I stay away for a while? Cut her loose completely?

23 comments

  • shadowcat
    11 years ago
    #2 reminds me of my high school days. My high school sweetheart of two years went on a 2 week vacation with her parents. When she returned she broke up with me citing problems in our relationship that had never even come up before. 2 weeks later I found out that she had a new boy friend that she had met while on vacation. The son of a M.D. that drove a new car rather than my 10 year old one. I got over it.
  • umissedaspot
    11 years ago
    Since you didn't mention how much you've been spending on her, I assume it wasn't a big stack. She was probably bummed that her big spender didn't show. Maybe the one who funded her vacation. Anyway, it doesn't matter why. Cut her loose? She's already cut you loose.
  • Clackport
    11 years ago
    Don't try to understand strippers. Just cut your losses and move on to the next one.
  • SlickSpic
    11 years ago
    Lose a hoe, gain a hoe. Don't ask why, just move on.
  • goodsouthernboy
    11 years ago
    I had a similar experience, and was getting DFK and much more mileage, and then everything went cold. She told me a couple of visits later that she was in a new relationship tht started right after our second visit. Explained everything, and now I see a much more beautiful girl at the same club. Time to move on. You can still see her sporadically, but it's time to branch out.
  • rockstar666
    11 years ago
    Give it a few months. If she's still working there in the fall, you might just pop in and she how she is. But I think it's probably best to just move on. Your next crush is hoping you find her ASAP. If she doesn't even want your money then there's nothing you can do.
  • rickdugan
    11 years ago
    I don't know dude, but I'm getting a little sense of attachment from you. That is not healthy and can also feel creepy to a dancer. But even beyond potential creepout, dancers can run hot and cold for a bunch of reasons and you will probably never know why this happened. Chewing on this is pointless as it won't help anything. Just let it go and move on. And whatever you do moving forward, don't get attached to dancers as there is zero upside in it. Bee\
  • umissedaspot
    11 years ago
    Depends on which part of you gets attached to which part of her.
  • sagevincent
    11 years ago
    @rick: She did remind me of my high school crush (ironically, same astrological sign and also did not end well--I should have seen this coming) but I actually want to keep things in the club and not let them get involved in my civil life. I didn't throw big bucks in one visit but it was a steady cash flow and the total amount was significant. More importantly, it went well until recently, so it was the inconsistency that baffled me. I think rockstar is right on the money, that there is nothing I can do when she doesn't even want my cash. I was reluctant to let it go because she was a perfect 10 for me (in the 1% sense of Bullwinkle), so it is gonna take a while to find a substitute, let along the time to cultivate rapport. Last time I got over from a 10 was because she quit, so physically impossible to see her again. Thanks for the dominant, objective opinion to move on. It really saves me some mental struggling. Salute to endless opportunities!
  • Fenster
    11 years ago
    Of course, you can always look forward to how aggressive she'll be with you when she breaks up with her new boyfriend .... But in the meantime, there's plenty of others.
  • Papi_Chulo
    11 years ago
    Dude – DO NOT get attached to a stripper – PERIOD – it’s business and nothing else – no matter how it may appear when you are w/ her and paying her $$$.
  • motorhead
    11 years ago
    Slick, I lost my hoe last fall. So I never got my melons planted this spring. Really missing some juice ripe melons right now.
  • cnyknight
    11 years ago
    similar thing happened to me. I went to a local club i didnt frequent often and met what i thought was a very sweet blonde. not my usual type but we kind of hit it off, i rubbed her back, we chatted awhile and after a few dances she even gave me her number. i totally know better, i figured it was just ss but part of me wanted to think maybe there was opportunity there. as i stopped in, specifically to see her, she grew distant and cold. she gave me lines if i texted her that her phone was broken. Finally one night she didnt even bother to say hi to me when i came in. that was it, i realized inspite of my reading the words of the masters, the now pretty extensive clubbing portfolio, that I slipped into the PL role. Needless to say, i snapped out of it, havent been back, have been going to a different club where i found a big natural chested blonde who has no problems with slipping her hands in my shorts while i play with the twins as much as i want, problem solved, both heads clear :)
  • sagevincent
    11 years ago
    @cny: it appears that behind every PL there is a blonde. Is it a coincidence? I don't think so. LOL. @Bull: That was a thorough analysis, especially this one: "Maybe she doesn't like money anymore, and found zen." Good job! Joke aside, I think the point being whatever caused the situation there is no logical reason not to move on. The possibility that I was part of the equation should be noted for dealing with future encounters. Very nice reply. It really clears a few things up in my head. Thanks, guys, and TUSCL. Without this board I could be puzzling and suffering for quite a while.
  • zipman68
    11 years ago
    Sage dude you've been given some sage advice...move on. I actually suspect she detected your attachment. You definitely talked about he in terms more suggestive of a romantic relationship than a business one. Although I feel some of our fellow pervs are a bit too cynical but you should never view things as more than business. At best, a stripper is like a waitress you meet and sometimes talk to. You're not really friends...you're patronizing her business. Of course, in the case o' the stripper her business is showing you some sweet sweet vag, lettin' you feel those titties, and possibly a whole lot more. So +1 relative to serving you a burger. OK... more like +100. But at the end of the day she's selling a service. Just like selling you a burger...but with orgasms in this case.
  • Alucard
    11 years ago
    Sounds like a change is in order.
  • Papi_Chulo
    11 years ago
    “… and I think a little chemistry was there …” In the real world; one can/may give a person/woman the benefit of the doubt – in SC bizarro world; one should always doubt what a dancer says towards/about us until absolutely proven otherwise. As cny put it – even some of us veterans will at times put our guard down (usually b/c our penises are up) and believe the mirage.
  • sagevincent
    11 years ago
    @zipman: " At best, a stripper is like a waitress you meet and sometimes talk to." Agree. Especially since I find myself hit on waitresses more often than hit on dancers. @Bullwinkle: The best ending I had with a dancer was that she earned enough money for her education, moved to NYC to pursue a new life, and we never saw each other ever again. And that's THE REASON WHY I have a strong preference over young co-eds... And blondes, 5'4", 35B-24-35, ...
  • sagevincent
    11 years ago
    (Off-Topic): She was from Florida and studied in St Louis for a while when we met. I believe she studies in performing arts in NYC. That should be enough info to identify her if one knows her. But please DON'T let me know if she is still dancing. I would like to think that she finally graduated from strip clubs...
  • curiositycat
    11 years ago
    Sagevincent: welcome to the club bud..im working on forgetting my former CF who is also blond lol. I am facing reality, but don't let it get you down. People cant help who they have feelings for or who they'd rather work with. Best we can do is move on and keep the memories. Happy clubbing, if she wont take your money, many more will.
  • carmelcd
    11 years ago
    Move on. Maybe I am just a cold hearted bastard, but horny is the deepest emotion I feel for dancers. It's their job. It's a game. This is how they make money. Keep your sanity treat them like condoms. Enjoy your time together but form no attachment. Two worlds--real world and clubs. Leave your heart and feelings outside the club or else you will just keep getting hurt.
  • bang69
    11 years ago
    Its time to move on
  • sagevincent
    11 years ago
    @carmelcd: Thanks man, but I don't agree with the perspective of treating dancers like condoms--it's not fair to condoms. Condoms are neutral, while dancers could be pure evil; condoms don't lie, don't play games, don't overcharge us; condoms are always there to serve us, consistent, reliable, not to mention much cheaper... ... ... ... Crap! I still choose dancers. Seriously, I do find a little feelings adds the fun of dances and leads to better treatment from dancers. Too much of it of course will lead into disasters. The problem is how to find the sweet spot and the line, for everyone is different, and things changes over time, like what confused me. It looks a lot like a real world relationship--except it doesn't. The trick, as all guys here keep telling me, is moving on. Head to the exit as soon as we smell something suspicious, because moving from one stage to another in strip clubs couldn't be easier. I am probably just rephrasing everybody, but I think it's worth to state the concept without being cynical or derogatory. (Condoms screamed: Objection!)
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