ATF said I saw her too often!?
sagevincent
Tonight was one of the weirder nights in my clubbing experience.
I had a crush on this dancer two months ago in a club I did not usually go to. Since then I frequented this club every week whenever I could to see her until she went on a vacation, and I think a little chemistry was there before she left. We used to have a nice conversation while she sat on my lap, and the private dances were very intimate, enhanced two-way contact. In our last dance together, I gave her a foot massage and she returned in DFK. That night was definitely listed in my Top-3 clubbing experience.
Then she left 3 weeks for vacation and things changed after she came back. It was pretty late the first night I saw her and she was busy with another customer that, according to her, she had not seen for a while. So I decided to go early the next night--tonight. The chemistry was all gone: she was cold and aloof, her stage dances were uninspiring, told me she just wanted to chilling and did not want to work. WTF!? If she didn't like to work, why came?
Feel puzzled, I finally asked her why she was acting weird all night. While expecting to hear some SS (sad stories aka stripper shit), she gave me a very unusual reason: I came to see her too much.
Seriously? She was down for having me as a regular? Didn't make sense to me. I also felt an ironic, strange deja vu, for that was usually my feelings when a dancer comes to me too often when I visit a club while I want to approach other girls. It's as if I was in Alice's wonderland, where everything goes the other way around.
I can only think of two real explanations:
1. She was just depressed this particular night. I know she uses drugs (which scares me a little by the way but also explains a lot of her) so it might be a side effect. It is possible because I didn't see her hustled around much as well.
2. She regretted the level of intimacy we had achieved. Something happened while she was away (new relationship?) and now she was uncomfortable with, say, kissing me.
Does anyone have similar experience? What would you react to this situation? Should I stay away for a while? Cut her loose completely?
I had a crush on this dancer two months ago in a club I did not usually go to. Since then I frequented this club every week whenever I could to see her until she went on a vacation, and I think a little chemistry was there before she left. We used to have a nice conversation while she sat on my lap, and the private dances were very intimate, enhanced two-way contact. In our last dance together, I gave her a foot massage and she returned in DFK. That night was definitely listed in my Top-3 clubbing experience.
Then she left 3 weeks for vacation and things changed after she came back. It was pretty late the first night I saw her and she was busy with another customer that, according to her, she had not seen for a while. So I decided to go early the next night--tonight. The chemistry was all gone: she was cold and aloof, her stage dances were uninspiring, told me she just wanted to chilling and did not want to work. WTF!? If she didn't like to work, why came?
Feel puzzled, I finally asked her why she was acting weird all night. While expecting to hear some SS (sad stories aka stripper shit), she gave me a very unusual reason: I came to see her too much.
Seriously? She was down for having me as a regular? Didn't make sense to me. I also felt an ironic, strange deja vu, for that was usually my feelings when a dancer comes to me too often when I visit a club while I want to approach other girls. It's as if I was in Alice's wonderland, where everything goes the other way around.
I can only think of two real explanations:
1. She was just depressed this particular night. I know she uses drugs (which scares me a little by the way but also explains a lot of her) so it might be a side effect. It is possible because I didn't see her hustled around much as well.
2. She regretted the level of intimacy we had achieved. Something happened while she was away (new relationship?) and now she was uncomfortable with, say, kissing me.
Does anyone have similar experience? What would you react to this situation? Should I stay away for a while? Cut her loose completely?
23 comments
I got over it.
Chewing on this is pointless as it won't help anything. Just let it go and move on. And whatever you do moving forward, don't get attached to dancers as there is zero upside in it.
Bee\
I didn't throw big bucks in one visit but it was a steady cash flow and the total amount was significant. More importantly, it went well until recently, so it was the inconsistency that baffled me.
I think rockstar is right on the money, that there is nothing I can do when she doesn't even want my cash. I was reluctant to let it go because she was a perfect 10 for me (in the 1% sense of Bullwinkle), so it is gonna take a while to find a substitute, let along the time to cultivate rapport. Last time I got over from a 10 was because she quit, so physically impossible to see her again.
Thanks for the dominant, objective opinion to move on. It really saves me some mental struggling.
Salute to endless opportunities!
I lost my hoe last fall. So I never got my melons planted this spring. Really missing some juice ripe melons right now.
as i stopped in, specifically to see her, she grew distant and cold. she gave me lines if i texted her that her phone was broken. Finally one night she didnt even bother to say hi to me when i came in. that was it, i realized inspite of my reading the words of the masters, the now pretty extensive clubbing portfolio, that I slipped into the PL role. Needless to say, i snapped out of it, havent been back, have been going to a different club where i found a big natural chested blonde who has no problems with slipping her hands in my shorts while i play with the twins as much as i want, problem solved, both heads clear :)
@Bull: That was a thorough analysis, especially this one: "Maybe she doesn't like money anymore, and found zen." Good job!
Joke aside, I think the point being whatever caused the situation there is no logical reason not to move on. The possibility that I was part of the equation should be noted for dealing with future encounters. Very nice reply. It really clears a few things up in my head.
Thanks, guys, and TUSCL. Without this board I could be puzzling and suffering for quite a while.
Although I feel some of our fellow pervs are a bit too cynical but you should never view things as more than business. At best, a stripper is like a waitress you meet and sometimes talk to. You're not really friends...you're patronizing her business.
Of course, in the case o' the stripper her business is showing you some sweet sweet vag, lettin' you feel those titties, and possibly a whole lot more. So +1 relative to serving you a burger. OK... more like +100. But at the end of the day she's selling a service.
Just like selling you a burger...but with orgasms in this case.
In the real world; one can/may give a person/woman the benefit of the doubt – in SC bizarro world; one should always doubt what a dancer says towards/about us until absolutely proven otherwise.
As cny put it – even some of us veterans will at times put our guard down (usually b/c our penises are up) and believe the mirage.
Agree. Especially since I find myself hit on waitresses more often than hit on dancers.
@Bullwinkle: The best ending I had with a dancer was that she earned enough money for her education, moved to NYC to pursue a new life, and we never saw each other ever again.
And that's THE REASON WHY I have a strong preference over young co-eds... And blondes, 5'4", 35B-24-35, ...
Condoms are neutral, while dancers could be pure evil; condoms don't lie, don't play games, don't overcharge us; condoms are always there to serve us, consistent, reliable, not to mention much cheaper...
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Crap! I still choose dancers.
Seriously, I do find a little feelings adds the fun of dances and leads to better treatment from dancers. Too much of it of course will lead into disasters. The problem is how to find the sweet spot and the line, for everyone is different, and things changes over time, like what confused me.
It looks a lot like a real world relationship--except it doesn't. The trick, as all guys here keep telling me, is moving on. Head to the exit as soon as we smell something suspicious, because moving from one stage to another in strip clubs couldn't be easier.
I am probably just rephrasing everybody, but I think it's worth to state the concept without being cynical or derogatory. (Condoms screamed: Objection!)