Dancers indication of a bigger problem
I don't think I will write in this discussion group but this once. I would like to point out that you are talking about human beings who represent a section of our society that is badly in need of help.
I have had a number of years with a young woman who is much like most have described here. It all started out as innocent fun and the belief that what two adults do willingly is alright with me. Having gotten involved with this person in depth, seeing her family background, her struggle with heroine addiction, her inability to break free from an abusive relationship with a worthless addict --- I realize how damaged these woman are and how much the men in our society contribute to this problem. After five years have helping her and her family out financially, holding her hand through rehab and bailing her out of jail numerous times I choose to longer be involved. The sex was great, I can still have it if I want it, but she is back where she started - on drugs, stripping and bullshitting men into giving her money for for bs reasons, and back with her do nothing but live off of her boyfriend. She is only 24 and I see that she has no future except one full of bad things.
I have learned a lot about our drugs, stripper, the legal system and our society's lack of ability to address the raging drug problem that exists today. I also see what happens when children grow up with a strong male influence and a mother who has a drinking and drug problem herself. Most of the men on this site appear to be somewhat successful and responsible but think nothing of continuing to perpetuate this terrible sickness in our culture by saying that if they don't pay these girls someone will. I, for one, can't walk into a strip joint today without getting sick to my stomach with the realization that most of these young women are in the same situation my friend is in and the work they do and the environment they are in is just adding to their problems.
Comments
last commentI, for one, am proud to help single mothers make a decent living.
There's a totally defensive response.
I can readily afford the money and time I put into this individual and did it willingly. Don't see anywhere in my post where I was asking for sympathy.
I would do it again if I thought I could help. In fact, there are other members of this person's family who I have helped who have turned their life around.
Don't understand why you would attach me unless you have something to feel guilty about.
Pleased to meet you hope you guess my game.
The general reception to this post probably won't be positive, since a majority of the members here would be SOL when it comes to getting laid by hot 20 year olds if all strippers were well-adjusted and didn't have a drug problem or something else making them open to the idea of getting paid for sex.
I agree with you, though. It's depressing.
I Think Charles Need to get familiar with Suga Free, "...And Right Before I Go, Please Donate My Brain To Captain Save-A-Hoe..."
I honestly don't understand the point of your post. You seem to be doing the exact same thing we are.o
And the point is?
Do I not buy a pair of Nike shoes because 13 year old girls in China are only making 65 cents a day?
Do I not purchase a car manufactured by Ford Motor Company because they're assembled by workers who participated in gambling games run by Big Money Ed Martin?
Do I not eat a Big Mac because McDonald's is making Americans fat?
If we need to bear the responsibility of other people's decisions, then I think we are kind of fucked.
Ultimately everyone's going to do whatever will make them feel the best, even if it's at the expense of someone else.
Boo fucking hoo.
Mister Moose,
I was confused...thought you were a fence sitter. Til I read part two.
Charles: The biggest weakness I see in your story is that you spent FIVE YEARS (???) trying to help this dancer AND her family ??? Even if you could afford it, I'd say that's way too generous of you. I'd have been outta there after three to four months of not seeing any improvement.
I agree with motorhead.
Furthermore, correlation is not causation. An addict who resorts to stripping for $ isn't the same thing as stripper turning to drugs as some result of working as a stripper.
Does stripping enable many of these girls to keep making bad decision, sure. But, how about some self-responsibility huh?
The only person we can change is ourself. Start there then proceed to work your way up to Tony Robbins status.
You and your self-righteous bullshit can both get the fuck out of here. No one's forcing a gun to these women's heads and making them strip.
We all have our own decisions to make based on what's important to us, and people do what they have to do in life in order to survive.
I work 60 hour weeks and get yelled at by clients every day. I could quit literally right now if I wanted to, but I choose not to because I'd rather not be homeless.
Just like there can be a wide variation in the motivations of customers who come in, the motivations of dancers can vary considerably as well. Of course, it's clear that you did not consider this at all before you opened your mouth.
I think it's quite pathetic that you not only came to a discussion forum to chastise a group that promotes the positive aspects of the strip club subculture while discouraging negative ones, but it's even more pathetic that you felt compelled to tell willing adults what they should or should not do with their lives based on your own ill-informed agenda.
Alucard with the DUNK!
Not all dancers have drug problems. They may have ex's and kids to support and little to no job skills outside of stripping. Cutting off their only source of income by not going to strip clubs is not going to help them in my opinion. You need money to buy food for kids and money to pay tuition.
In my opinion someone still feels guilty getting sex out of someone who was in desperate need of help and for some reason thinks others here are doing the same thing. It's been a few years at least since I even knowingly visited a dancer away from a strip club or had any sex with a dancer. Of course I like to talk like it was yesterday. LE needs something to do and if we didn't talk about tons of exploits, this would be a boring site. LE might be busy writing tickets to grandma who was driving 1 mph over the limit if they had nothing better to do. Now that I think about local police did raid and arrest people drinking at a house party and they may have even arrested some guys playing poker at their house. That's what happens when things get boring. Everyone becomes a criminal. I found out I can't even play a game involving dice without breaking the law in South Carolina. I am not going to stop doing things because I might step on an ant because of some belief that all life is sacred.
metrocard11 summarized it pretty damn well.
A number of dancers strip for money because the alternative sources of getting money are worse. Walmart or some other store is an alternative. As far as fighting drugs, complain to the president and democrats and other elected officials that they aren't doing enough to stop incoming drugs. I read somewhere the drug cartels took over Mexico but not a word was spoken about the problem on mainstream news.
I love this shit. Guys like the OP over-think this shit. I don't care what my plumber, lawyer, or auto mechanic spend my money on. Why the fuck would I care what my stripper does with it?
It's just a fucking service! Leave it at that.
“but it's even more pathetic that you felt compelled to tell willing adults what they should or should not do with their lives based on your own ill-informed agenda.â€
OMFG!!! alucard’s finally taking his meds. either that or he is officially the biggest fucking HYPOCRITE in the world.
Did I miss something or is Alucard and metrocard11 one person? 2 people have referred metrocard as Alucard...
Lol, I'm not Alucard. I just borrowed his avatar.
i should have known that alucard taking his meds was too good to be true. props metrocard
It always amazes me how non-extras dancers get (rightly) peeved a people who insist that all strippers are drug addicts, have daddy issues, yada yada, and then turn around and lay all that shit on less penis-averse sex workers.
I am never attracted to women who look sick. If a person is truly an addict, or is getting beaten on, they are going to eventually look sick, so for me that problem is self-limiting. If someone is a heavy drinker or drug user, or submissive, and they feel that makes them happy, on what basis can I override their right to run their own life, and decide that's not OK?
Sex is certainly not the most positive aspect of human nature and behavior. It causes people to focus on superficial aspects in each other. Some people claim that for them sex is one and the same with a healthy loving exclusive relationship. Many of them further claim that the rest of us could have this too, it just takes some self discipline. I say many of them are lying, perhaps including to themselves. They have a lot more arrogance and self-righteousness behind their opinions than actual evidence.
When a woman changes bed pans for less that $10 an hour, society does not assume she's a drunken, drug-addled loser. If a woman makes hundreds of dollars by tolerating my old, fat, ugly self, why is that not a sign of drive, self-discipline, and a strong mind that questions rules that deny her a good financial opportunity.
Yes, a lot of sex-workers suffer from serious emotional troubles. Sex work is stressful and contributes to emotional troubles. But being dead broke probably contributes more to emotional troubles. People with emotional troubles are often marginalized in society, which gives them less reasons to follow arbitrary rules that prevent them from making a lot of quick money. So, emotional troubles can lead to sex work, not just the reverse.
Metrocard and doctorphil- yall are cracking me up!
Uh oh.....I doubt the OP is going to post anymore after this beatdown
Wait,,,I think he already told us that
This is funny shit charles...keep posting on here
Chuck,
I went back and re-read your post. You say your friend has no chance of a good future. You say you learned about strippers. Well, I don't think you learned enough. Perhaps your friend doesn't have a future but I know plenty of ex-strippers that are actually doing ok
Chucky, Chucky, Chucky.
Chuck Chuck Bo buck, fannanana no buck,
Suppose an addicted girl who needed $$ could pick either being a stripper or drug dealer and she decided on the latter. Charlie probably wouldn't have said anything about it and crticized the addicts who bought from his dealer gf.
It is ALL about choice. A stripper made the choice, ultimately. She either decided to strip or decided to hook up with a guy who "makes" her strip.
I think presuming that all strippers are drug addicts who are enslaved by the system is wrong. I know dancers who simply have a different way of looking at things - to them sex is something they enjoy and getting paid for it is a bonus.