Every girl wants to be a stripper

Want to know the joke that was soooo offensive?


I lined up 5 toothpicks like this...IIIII

Then I asked her to move two of them and make something round. She could only move two.

After a couple minutes I moved two to show her..T I T

A tit is something round

As long as we're on the subjects of "tits," (my favorite) it's time to educate the world about the origin of the word. Quite simply, it's an acronym (TITS). It stands for "two in the shirt."

Lol

That's awesome, I like that joke...

Two in the shirt. You learn something new everyday.

Q: Why was the mermaid wearing sea shells?
A: Her boobs were too big for B shells.

Q: Why did God give women boobs and nipples?
A: To make suckers out of men!

Q: What do you call identical boobs?
A: Identitties.


Q: What do toys and boobs have in common?
A: They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them!

I know it's kinda OT, but I like the Tilted Kilt. Since my son was born, it had replaced strip clubs for date nights; after all, I can bring my kid to TK but not the strip club (I still visit them by myself every now and then, though).

Q: Why do women have legs?
A: So they don't leave snail tracks.

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the
person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is
still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer,
your wife may get mad. If you come home
smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not
drive. 6 pussies in a night and you
have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath,
you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath,
you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer
any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God. Beer can
make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy
you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer,
you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work,
you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy
at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may
break. If you suddenly drop a pussy,
it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your
old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,
Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. “Mom”, the boy asks, “What’s a pussy?”

The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says “Son, that is a pussy.” the son then asks “What’s a bitch?” The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says “Son, this is a bitch.”

The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says “Dad, what’s a pussy?” The father doesn’t want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says “Son, this is a pussy!”

The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks “Then, what is a bitch?”

The dad replies, “That’s everything outside the circle!”

@ Gator: Great joke! When I was maybe eight years old, I actually asked my mother about a term I had heard in school that day: "Mom, what's a cocksucker?" I got a horrible tongue lashing and was told not to ever use that word again. She still didn't answer my question, though.

Sorry to go all academic on you, and while "Two in the Shirt" is a good joke, "tits" is a variant of "teats," which derives from the Old English "titt" . . .

@ Jackson: I knew that, but I like my version better.

Great jokes