Cars And Boners

Mar 23, 2013, 2:22 AM

Yesterday, I attempted to post a link to a video of Ferrari's new hyper hybrid, trying to draw attention to the sexy sound of the motor's roar. My computer illiteracy fucked up the link but motorhead saved my ass with a working link. (Thanks, motorhead). With lots of time to kill tonight I have been surfing the net lapping up Ferrari videos.

I have a confession now. I am sitting in the office shack of my exploration camp in the wilds of Canada's North with a monstrous, non-Cialis assisted boner from watching all those Ferrari videos.

Hot, fast cars are incredibly sexually stimulating for me. How weird am I?

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gawker12 years ago

There are many theories regarding substituting the power of a motor for the power of sex. (I.e. crotch rockets). I love fast cars and speed, but not to the point of sexual excitement. Good luck. Don't get your dick stuck in the petrol filler.

3LeggedMan12 years ago

Farmerart, you WERE one of my TUSCL heros. This confusion between fast women and cars is quite unnatural. Like being thrilled by a washing machine or vacuum cleaner. Stick with the soft, curvy, sweet smelling items.

Tiredtraveler12 years ago

I prefer Porches and Jags. Ferraris to me are like a 10, fun to look at but to finiky to touch.

Clubber12 years ago

gawker states, "There are many theories regarding substituting the power of a motor for the power of sex. (I.e. crotch rockets)".

I have to agree. Now, like, me, you ride a BIG, FAT (There is a "Fat Boy", and a "Fat Bob" model for a reason), HEAVY Harley, then what does that say about your manhood and power? Not some quick (PE), fast (PE), small (penis envy), light weight (see small) tool! :)

Ermita_Nights12 years ago

On the subject of getting a boner from watching powerful machinery... I'm sure you've heard this one before but it's worth repeating.

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis in the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh... she got fired too."

motorhead12 years ago

The last time I heard "cars and boners" mentioned in the same sentence was Bill Clinton reminiscing about his 1970 El Camino.

crazyjoe12 years ago

Does road head count?

Alucard12 years ago

I have a love for Vettes, but they AREN'T erection producing. To each his own! LMAO

crazyjoe12 years ago

What if your car got a boner when you drove it fast? Would you still drive fast?

shadowcat12 years ago

Hey Art, I bet those boners disappear rapidly when the RCMP pulls you over. LOL.

farmerart12 years ago

@shadowcat'

You are right about that. When I am actually driving a hot car boner-rama is not part of the excitement. The single time that I had a hot car wound up to the point where I felt I was close to losing control I most assuredly did not have anything approaching a boner. I was trying mightily to prevent my sphincter from erupting in a gusher!

ilbbaicnl12 years ago

In Ontario they might let you marry your car.