The Confessions of Davids...

Gentlemen, my conscience is troubling me greatly these days. I must get these off my chest, so I can sleep tonight:

- I am unemployed
- I am a communist
- I am a geek (and it is a bad thing: no social skills)
- I realize all posters here are smarter than me and am really jealous of them: even parody is smarter
- I never intended to fight AN: I am scared spitless of him (especially after I learned how much he weighs)
- I am jealous of shadowcat and all the cheap lap dances he gets
- I am jealous of all the strippers T-Bone and Yoda and even AN have slept with
- If I go into the clubs and don't spend money strippers just ignore me
- RomanticLover and I are really the same person
- I am a homosexual
- My education is really bad as you could probably tell by my bad use of english
- I got burned really bad (badly?) by a stripper once and really pissed off about it
- I realize I'll never amount to anything as parody says
- I'm really a jerk which is why strippers hate me
- I'm broke
- I spend all day posting on TUSCL b/c I have no life
- I am scared of approaching women in night clubs
- I couldn't get a date or get laid to save my life: I have no idea how women, or normal people think
- I have multiple personality disorder
- I am manic depressive
- I have low self-esteem
- I'm the alcoholic not AN
- I am clueless
- I am a complete pussy
- I realize that you guys are to be admired, but unfortunately you are leagues above me so I can never hope to acheive it


That's all I can think of at the moment, but feel free to add in...